Sunday, November 14, 2010

Between Wednesday & now I've seen Caprica 1x15 "The Dirteaters" (which was fantastic), a Sarah Jane episode, and episodes 2-4 of Smallville's final season (which is doing a good job of winding down the series). I've also had a good date with Matt; Thursday night we watched Doctor Who (5x01 The Eleventh Hour) and had sex. Michael came over Friday, having called into work, and went for a walk with Mark & I to Starbucks, the Cupcake Factory and NYPD. Nice walk, nice pictures and nice company...until later when Michael FREAKED OUT and defended himself by saying that his problem is that he puts other peoples feelings before his own!?! Are you fucking kidding me!?! So he was putting my feelings before his own when he went and fucked 30 other guys behind my back and potentially exposing me to countless STDs? And all the lies, that was for me too I'm sure. I called him on this. He freaked more. And he went home. I didn't let it bother me though. I didn't let it get to me emotionally. I mean, I was upset and angry but I released that and I didn't let it get to me the way he usually does. I felt right. I felt good. I slept well.

Saturday I took half a muscle relaxant for my jaw which had felt swollen and painful for days. I slept a lot, but I didn't feel zombie like. It felt good to sleep and dream. I might take another half a pill later. My jaw isn't quite better yet. The only thing is that I have a date with Matt later. I might cancel and try to see him in the evening some time this week. It depends on how my jaw is feeling.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:58 AM
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The muscle relaxant from yesterday is still in my system for sure. I'm so spacey...and it feels like I just wrote the earlier entry. I have no sense of time passing. It's only scary if I think about it. I watched another Smallville episode, so I'm caught up with Michael. I still have 3 episodes to watch plus a ton of other tv. Maybe I should be reading? I don't know. I'm so out of it. I want to sleep, but I've slept so much already. I've slept since the last entry too.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:28 PM
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   Tuesday, November 16, 2010

On Monday I had a nice visit with my dad (David, not Doug). Our visits have become quite nice. Mark went with me to drop him off then we went to Kroger on the way home. I watched Ally McBeal and had some chocolate then slept really well.

I have 1 episode left in Season 2 of Ally. There are new episodes of Glee, Caprica & The Sarah Jane Adventures today, but I'm not sure how long it will take me to get them; last week I got them on Thursday. The Sarah Jane episodes are the finale to this season, which I've only seen 1 episode of. After this Caprica there will be only 2 more episodes of the series. The new Glee has Gwyneth Paltrow as a guest star and looks really good.

I burned some discs for Michael. I might try to get some reading done. I LOVE that I don't have any plans today and can just chill. I've been mildly stressed lately, though I can't put my finger on why...I do know that I'm terribly worried about my future; about my financial future...like...I might be put on disability...which would make sense given my condition...but it scares me.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:16 AM
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   Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I've been throwing up for more than 24 hours. It's been at least 3 weeks since my stomach was this upset (for which I'm grateful). It's not health threatening yet, as it has been in the past, but it's very annoying and has caused me to cancel plans and reticent to make plans with Matt this weekend. Hopefully it will calm down...or Reglan pills will help control it. Lately, I've been lucky enough that my symptoms have been pretty mild. But days like this remind me why I'm not currently employed...and why I might never be again. Though that is not certain. "Horrors."

My financial situation is dire. Mark's financial situation is dire and getting close to being as bad as mine. This isn't good. We could lose the condo; our home. We could lose a lot, in fact. This sucks. It might even be why my stomach is freaking out. As much as I'm trying to chill and relax, I'm stressed.

Matt & I talked today. We may go out Friday night or Saturday, depending on how my stomach is doing. I like him. :)

Michael & I talked yesterday about our friendship. We don't want to lose it. I feel that I'm strong enough to be his friend, even while healing from wounds he's inflicted on me. What I'm coming to realize is that he might not be as strong. He wants me to NEVER AGAIN bring up the fact that he cheated on me. I told him that this was unacceptable as I'm still grieving the relationship I thought I had, plus I have lots of anger and pain that I need to work through and if he's around that's the price of that. I've told him that if he wants to not be around me as a result that's his choice and I'll respect that, but I can't just suppress this shit; it would kill me, or at the very least hurt me on levels that he'd never know about...and I feel I'd be allowing him to victimize me again, which I'm not going to allow. It remains to be seen what the outcome will be but we're playing it be ear for now.

I watched the new Glee last night with Mark. It was ok. It wasn't a standout episode, but it wasn't terrible. I just think it suffered by comparison to the last few episodes which were all amazing. I also watched the season 2 of finale of Ally, and 3 episodes of Season 3. I also read the first 3 chapters of the Trek book I'm reading - which is actually a 10 chapter piece set between the prologue & the rest of another book that I'm reading; I'm just on this so I get the whole story in chronological order.

I just got the new Caprica and intend to watch that at some time tonight. 2 more episodes after this one and it's over. I also now have the complete 4th Season of The Sarah Jane Adventures, of which I've only watched 1 of 12 episodes so I might watch some of that soon; I just don't feel all that excited about it for some reason. I have the mini-Doctor Who episodes, so the only installment of Season 32 that I'm missing is the Christmas Special, which will air (SHOCKER) next month, on Christmas Day.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:54 PM
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   Thursday, November 18, 2010

I watched 2 more Sarah Jane episodes before bed. Slept well. Had CRAZY fun dreams. Stomach is still giving me trouble today. Oh, and apparently they've stopped manufacturing Midrin again and since Imitrex is out of my reach (it's not covered by my insurance and EXTREMELY expensive) I'm screwed. I have some Midrin, but when it's gone...it's gone, possibly forever. I have some Imitrex actually; maybe 10 pills...so I'm not completely out of luck, but I'm close. Things just seem so horribly dire lately...it's hard to even hope for something better but I'm trying to not be crushed by all this. I was going to try to get on disability but that might not be enough...I might have to work, which I'd enjoy and welcome, if only I wasn't throwing up all the time. So far this week has been horrible.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:36 PM
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Saw Michael earlier when he stopped by for a hug and some discs I'd burned for him. It was nice. Sad, but nice. I watched some Chelsea Lately, and some Sarah Jane Adventures. Death of the Doctor featured appearances by the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 10th & 11th Doctors; for all I know 1 & 5 appeared as well but so many of the shots from the past went by in a blur. Amy & Rory and many other companions were mentioned. I'm pretty sure I saw Daleks, The Master & Cybermen as well. Cool episodes. Cool references. 6 more episodes to go. I'm hoping I'll be able to rework them so the season plays out and makes sense but it depends on what happenes in those next 6 episodes.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:46 PM
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I watched the next Sarah Jane story, "The Empty Planet", which I enjoyed, but because of story continuity I won't be able to rearrange the episodes unless the final story fits, which I doubt, meaning that Season 32 of the Whoniverse consists of 26 episodes: 16 Doctor Who episodes & 10 Sarah Jane episodes. With 6 episodes of Sarah Jane left over for Season 33 of the Whoniverse. Be interested in seeing how all that fits together next year. :)

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:05 PM
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Actually, I forgot about (and until now) didn't have all 6 of the SJA Alien Files. Adding those to the mix gets the season back up to 32 installments, with 6 episodes left over for Season 32. I have to watch them all and make sure they fit, and where they go, but that's part of the fun.

I'm tired.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:36 PM
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   Friday, November 19, 2010

Slept well. Ate. No problems yet (though I did take a pill); I had toast & Chi*ken & Boost. I'm not thinking thos Sarah Jane Alien Files are kind of lame; they have good moments but are basically clip shows; I might use them next season, but in Season 32 they don't feel right. So now, all that remains is to watch the Christmas Special to see if that feels more like Season 32 or Season 33. I'm almost hoping for the latter as that would make 'Death of the Doctor' the final episodes of the season, which would be cool. I watched more Sarah Jane before bed; I only have 3 more to watch.

Mark just left to get his hair cut (for free) by Jeremy. He has a date with Jennifer tomorrow. I wish he was doing as good work wise. But he seems to be in a good mood and I'm very happy about that!

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:55 AM
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Mark's hair looks really good; Jeremy did a great job. Matt & I aren't going out tonight as we're both feeling drained, but we have tentative plans for tomorrow. I did the dishes, vacumed my room, picked up some clutter, made my bed, started some laundry, shaved and showered. It helped my mood a little bit. I used to not mind being tired from my pills, but after the wonderful summer I've had it feels horrible...or at least...unwanted. Still...better than the alternative. I wanted to go for a walk but it's COLD outside. I've not watched any more Sarah Jane and might do that later; we'll see. I'd like to read but I always fall asleep lately when I try.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:08 PM
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