Sunday, June 12, 2011

After eating, I again slept. I had more nightmares about
Michael Slaughter. I don't know why I'm getting these creepy
recurring nightmares about him now. I'd have understood it a
few months ago but now? I know that on several levels I'm
still healing from the damage he did, but I didn't expect him
to show up in my dreams so frequently; it's sort of freaking
me out.

I've been working on my Farm Town again. I've added oodles
of trees, which I meant to do ages ago. I added at least
another hundred and probably more. Coconut trees, rubber
trees, plum trees, cherry trees, lemon trees, maple, cedar,
pine, peach, mulberry, apple, orange, pear, cranberry,
walnut, apricot, avocado, fig, cocoa... Trees are cool cause
they produce stuff all the time and you don't have to take
care of them. And if you have a lot of them, well, you get the
stuff faster, obviously. I want to play some more today, but
I'd like to do other stuff too.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:39 AM
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I edited 2 more Caprica episodes. It was easy once I decided
to scrap the scenes with incomplete effects. I did that for a
number of reasons. First off, the backgrounds I needed for
the images to match the audio weren't going to match up; it
would have ended up looking janky. Then I'm pretty sure the
guy doing the voice for Surge during these incompleted
scenes isn't the same voice actor in the completed sequences
so that wasn't going to match either. Then there was the fact
that I'd have to reuse the footage...and how that would
probably be noticed by just about anyone as there are only
18 episodes of the whole series. Add all that together and
the scenes just didn't seem justified, though I hated to lose
them just the same. I now have 10 episodes of my project
finished, though I still have to convert several of them. I want
to continue with Caprica though cause I'm loving it again.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:30 PM
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I cleaned up my room a bit. Sorted some of the clutter and
made my bed. I tossed out a lot of junk. Listening to some
music.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:24 PM
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I emptied the dishwasher; loaded the dirty dishes (after
scrubbing them) and put Mark's new smaller cups (for
alcohol) in the dishwasher too. I scrubbed the counters. I'm
doing some laundry. I sorted the trash and recycle stuff. I
should probably vacume the carpets and scrub the toilet; I'm
getting pretty tired though. I was hoping to go for a walk
today as well, but I'm afraid I'll pass out or something...and
Mark isn't around to come pick me up. Oh well.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:52 PM
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I've done more laundry. Started the dishes. Scrubbed the
toilet. Shaved and trimmed (though I'm not done). Listening
to Catherine Wheel. My eyes are burning from being up so
long.

I wonder when Mark is coming home?

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:56 PM
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Finished shaving / showering. Texted Mark about his coming
home as some friends will be at the bar tonight and I'd like to
see them; it's just a question of me getting some sleep I
think. My stomach is acidy from the generic prilosec which
never really works for me...I just toughed it out so Mark
could have his weekend fun, and I really did hope for the
best...I even thought it was working this time, but apparently
not. Ugh.

I'm very tired. I should see if my clothes are ready to get out
of the dryer, and then maybe I can sleep.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:16 PM
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My last load of clothes weren't dry when I checked so I put
them through again. I emptied some of the dishes from the
dishwasher but a lot of those weren't dry either so I put them
through the heating cycle again. Mark had to go back to
Gen's to get his laptop so I took a nap. I have friends at the
Blind Pig tonight and might go. I feel like I could...I'm hungry
though and not sure I can eat which is problematic. My nap
was enjoyable. I dreamt about Caprica a bit I think.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:05 PM
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   Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Sunday night was devastating...but needed. Mark & I had a
long conversation. I opened up about how bad things are
getting with my stomach and my depression. I cried a lot.
But I (unsurprisingly) felt better after.

Monday I slept pretty much all day. Then when I got up,
Mark and I cuddled for a bit and we both slept some more!
Crazy. Later on I got a message from Jonathan and I called
him. He and Shawn broke up 2 weeks ago but they're
doing better than ever. I guess the last few years have
been pretty rough on them; I had no idea. Anyways, we're
renewing our old friendship after 5 years of not talking.
Fun.

Tuesday morning (and through the Monday night hours) I
got Mark to do his homework, and then made him his
breakfast and got him out to work on time. I caught up on
the last 4 episodes of 'Game of Thrones' the finale is on
this Sunday and I'm now loving the series. I liked it right
away but it's really shaped up into something very special.
I got to talk to Mollie on Skype which is always a treat.
Later I made plans to go to my grandmother's this
morning to take family pictures. Then I walked downtown
with a burned disc of the latest Doctor Who episodes for
my friend Johnny. I went to Starbucks and hung out with
him for a few hours. It was such a nice afternoon and my
stomach wasn't upset for once (but I hadn't really had
much to eat either). I later met Mark to walk home with
him and it was all beautiful, but I'd been up since around
midnight and it was now around 7:30pm and I went to
sleep. While I was sleeping, Mark worked out some kinks
in the conversion process and I'm not converting the
episodes I edited on the weekend. :)

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:32 AM
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   Friday, June 17, 2011

After the last entry I finished converting all the BSG /
Caprica episodes save 1, which I think I screwed up. That
took many hours. Then I drove out to Milan to visit my
family and take pictures. I had a great day with my parents
& grandparents. I got big hugs from my dad who showed
me around his garden. I got some great pictures I think.
We'll see. Then I went to the bank to deposit some money.
I went home and ate. Then later I walked downtown with
another disc for JV (the 2nd season of the 2009 version of
V) and walked home with Mark before he headed out to
see Gen. I went to bed.

Thursday I had a migraine and upset stomach. It sucked. I
played Farm Town and read the news but mostly just
rested.

This morning I edited the "No Exit" episode of BSG, putting
4 deleted scenes back in, plus some deleted scenes from
"The Plan" & "Daybreak". It's pretty cool. It took several
hours though. I have a doctor's appointment today and I
may go for a walk. After Mark gets home from work he's
going to Gen's while I sleep, and he'll be home around
midnight so I can go to Necto. Then Gen is coming over
tomorrow and I'm going to try to not be here.

Gen texted me again this morning though I have no clue
what she said. I deleted it. I also again asked Mark to
block her number from sending me texts. I don't mind
that they're dating and I'm happy that Mark is happy...but
I'm not ready for the her & me part yet.

I should eat and get ready or something. I feel groggy.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:46 AM
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My migraine is back. :( And my stomach is upset again. Blah.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:46 AM
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I got my headache under control, and then Mark & I walked
to my doctor's appointment. The surgery and medication I
needed aren't covered by insurance but they're gonna start
me on another option on Monday. Also gonna try to see a
shrink because while the last few days have been good -
when it's bad lately it's really bad and I don't think I can do it
alone anymore.

After the hospital Mark & I went for a great walk in the Arb &
downtown. I came home. I was going to sleep and then Mark
was going to Gen's but come back around midnight so I
could go to the bar...only Gen is coming here now so I need
to get out of here. Oh. And of course the bitch wants to go to
Necto, which was my plan. Only now I'm so fucking tired for
zero sleep...I'm bound to get very cranky. :( I feel like she's
ruining my plans again. It's like all she ever does.

I was gonna just ditch tomorrow because the plan was she
was spending the night then...but now it's basically the whole
weekend. :(

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:52 PM
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   Saturday, June 18, 2011

So...Carrie was going to take me in last night as we're both
needing some love but then I got a horrible headache (of
course) which when it was finally gone, or nearly so, I
joined Mark & Gen at the bar. Gen and I made nice - and
we're getting along now. I hope it lasts because it's much
easier on me when we do, and it's probably also easier on
Mark & Gen.

Gen was going to Necto to see her ex-gf, who is my
cousin Kristen's current gf. I got to meet her; she seems
really cool.

There was no parking anywhere because top-of-the-park
started last night, so I parked at Aut Bar and walked to
Necto. While walking there I got a text from Caleb; this
boy I met at Necto several years ago. We got on hot and
heavy that night but he was with people and had to go. We
chatted online a few times after that, and he was friends
with one of Michael Slaughter's roomies when they lived in
Taylor - leading to a moment in which Caleb told Michael
that he knew me and that he'd made out with me and
made Michael extremely jealous - which bothered me at
the time, but now makes me laugh about. :)

Anyways...the text asked what I was doing and I
responded that I was walking to Necto. I figured he was
there because otherwise the text would be pretty random,
which wasn't like him. Sure enough, he spotted me just
after I entered the bar and was my companion the entire
time we were there. Mark bought me some drinks, which
mixed with my pain killer got me super buzzed...which led
to oral sex in the mens room. ;0)

Jason Lyons (BaldJason2) was there as well and it was
great to see him! I felt weird macking on a boy in front of
him, but I so beyond buzzed that I found it hard to curb
my impulses...and everyone seemed to be getting along.

I also ran into Shane again. Shane is this amazing guy,
who last I saw him, I got his number but I thought we
weren't compatible - only last night he told me we are.
Hmmm. I had a HUGE crush on him years ago and he still
looks AMAZING. :)

So...anyways...Jason left. Then Mark, Gen, Caleb and I
went to Pizza House. I couldn't eat because I hadn't slept
in so long and I didn't want to get sick. It was mostly
drama free except when some guy pounced on Caleb in
the mens room (a theme of the night) and I physically had
to pull him off of him.

After Pizza House, Mark & Gen dropped us off back at
Necto as Caleb had people he needed to drive home and
Mark & Gen wanted to go home to fuck. Caleb asked me
to go with him to drop off the people so he could then
come home with me. The ride was incredibly long and the
people were fucking annoying....also I'd been awake for
about 27 hours so I was crashing hard. We went to Aut Bar
to get my car but when we got back to the condo sexual
hijinks occured. It didn't go exactly as planned but fun
was had and we learned we had a lot in common, which I
liked. He cuddled for a bit but had to leave to go to a work
meeting. I had a snack and then slept.

When a text from Caleb woke me Gen & Mark were gone,
having showered and headed out to breakfast and
shopping. Caleb was home, having showered and changed
and was now understandably exhausted. I expected we'd
go out again, and let him go. He didn't repond to my text
about possibly hanging out again but I assumed he was
asleep - only he was on Manhunt. I suppose I should be
upset about that...and I was for about 5 seconds...and
then it was gone.

Caleb is HOT. And he's funny. He's cute and he tastes
good and he likes a lot of the same movies, tv shows,
books & music that I do. However, he did just get out of a
2 year relationship so he's probably got some serious
baggage he needs to work through, which I can relate too.
He & I also might not be completely compatible sexually; I
suspect that while he's versatile, he's more of a
bottom...and that's fine. We have enough in common to
enjoy each other and I'm glad we did...but maybe we'll end
up being friends instead which would be fantastic. Of
course I could be reading this all wrong and maybe we'll
continue on as lovers. I really don't know. But I'm not
gonna have this get all dramatic or write it off as a
mistake....because it was fun and like him. Hopefully we'll
get something more out of this...be it more sexy time or a
cool friendship.

Oh. And I LOVE that me hooking up with him would have
made Michael jealous and if I could go back in time I'd
have hooked up with him back then. :)

This guy Daryl that I've spoken to off and on over the last
few years online wants to go on a date sometime
soon...possibly a friend thing...maybe more. We'll see how
that goes. I'm just gonna go with the flow and see where it
takes me. I'm gonna hold on to the good and try to
channel any badness into oblivion, or at least something
more positive. :)

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:41 PM
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Oh. The Daryl guy...we've traded texts and photographs and
e-mails. I gave him a link to my webcam which made him
think I was jacking off on there (I wasn't) and he freaked out.
Only I'm fully clothed, listening to Depeche Mode, and
surging the net. lol. When I explained that it wasn't a sex
thing and that I was just on my cam he continued to be
freaked...this raises a big red flag for me. I think this might
be an early sign of DOOM. lol. I'll try to smooth it out but if
this is how he reacts to just seeming someone on a
camera...it just seems irrational...and you know...
CRAZY.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:07 PM
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Again. The Daryl guy turned out to be a crazy drunk...who
freaked out about 3 or 4 other things...and then offered to
have bareback sex. Why am I single with winners like this
asking me out? lol

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:41 PM
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