Sunday, October 2, 2011

Ok. My stomach seems to be doing better. But I'm not sure.
Like...I bought a bunch of chocolate last night at Meijer with
Shawn...and I ate a pretty large portion of it, expecting it to
come back up, only it didn't. This is obviously a good thing.
Yet...I didn't take a pill when I ate so it's not the medication.
I'm confused. I am going to try eating smaller portions of
food this week to see if that helps. It's very hard though.

Also. Writing. I want to write this week. And maybe go on a
date. I'm not sure. I already have a lot going on this week. I
have 3 appointments. That's a lot for me. I have to pick up
Mark in about 12 hours. I think I'm going to lay down on my
fresh, clean sheets and watch Chelsea Lately, possibly
rewatch Who, and then sleep. Possibly. lol

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:49 AM
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I watched Chelsea Lately. I rewatched "The Impossible
Astronaut". My eyes are tired, but I can't seem to sleep which
is obnoxious. Ugh.

Mollie & I are going to try to Skype on Monday. Hopefully that
works. :)

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:46 AM
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Watched "Day of the Moon" after the last entry and eventually
slept. I was dreaming about Star Trek books when Mark woke
me up with a useless text. I've not been able to get back to
sleep and I have to be tomorrow so I guess I'm just gonna try
to stay up today and sleep tonight. That's the plan anyways.
lol

I kind of feel like working on my website. I have to leave to
get Mark in a little over an hour. I'm listening to a really
interesting mix. :)

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:22 AM
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   Tuesday, October 4, 2011

I picked Mark up on time on Sunday. We watched the
Doctor Who finale. I called Jim H, and explained why I
never went out with him again back in 2007, then we
made plans to hang out soon. I slept. I ate a full meal, with
no troubles. I hung out with Mark for a bit. It was a quiet
night but it was nice. I made plans with David for
Saturday.

I slept a bit Monday morning. Mark got me up for my
psych evaluation, which went well, I guess, though I'm not
sure how I feel about some of the things that came up.
Too soon to say if this will be helpful or not. I went home
afterward. I slept more. Sleep is apparently essential for
my stomach to work. Later I went out for food with Mark,
after which Mark sprang the news on me that he'll be
moving in December for sure or sooner...this was very
upsetting to hear. I'm trying my best to not fall apart,
which is really difficult...basically all that's been promised
to me for years is being tossed out in the trash so he can
be with Gen...which is a betrayal on a level I've never
experienced before, so it's hard for me to process because
I love him so much.

A bit later we met my new friends Ilyssa & Sarah at a shop
and went to Starbucks where the cute guy behind the
counter was nice to me for a change, and commented that
he'd never seen my eyes before because I usually have my
sunglasses on. We went to Aut Bar briefly where we saw
Jeff & Calvin, then headed home where we chilled until it
was time for us all to get ready to go to Necto (everyone
except Mark, who was on the phone with Gen). Necto was
fun, if fairly uneventful. Lots of fun dancing with my
friends. I hardly drank at all. I ran into Adam's old friend
Wendy; I knew her (barely) back in 1995 or so, and we
didn't get along at the time, but it was nice to see her
now.

After the bar, I parted ways with my friends and came
home. My ears were ringing for a very long time after the
bar, which is odd, because the music didn't seem any
louder than usual. I watched the new installment of The
Sarah Jane Adventures before sleeping.

I woke up a few times. I've been trying to reorganize my
website, which I have a lot of ideas about, but it's a
struggle. I'm sure it will be worth it once I have it updated,
but for now it's not a lot of fun...it's a lot of work. It's fairly
nice out and I feel like I should maybe go out, yet I have to
be places on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday &
Sunday, so I'm thinking I might just stay in and work on
my site and try to relax.

Today marks 15 years since I last slashed my wrists. Also,
it's Anne Rice's birthday.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:40 PM
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I've begun working on new galleries for my website. It's very
time consuming, but I think they're going to look great when
I'm finished. I'm gonna take a break now though.

I was planning on staying in and doing nothing tonight, but
Charles needs to do laundry so he's spending the night,
which should be fun. :)

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:07 PM
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   Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The visit with Charles went extremely well. He's sleeping and
I should do so soon. I just watched last night's Glee...and
while I generally enjoy the show, it's not usually
fantastic...but last night's episode was stunning...amazing
television. :) I cried.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:46 AM
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   Friday, October 7, 2011

Wednesday night was kind of touch and go. There were some
dark moments. I need to find a roomie. Not happy about
that. But I'm trying to be.

Thursday I had therapy in the morning, then a visit with JV &
Mark. Then home to sleep. Then another walk (the weather
was beautiful). Then Mark & I hit LC, home, and then Gen's
where I left Mark. I traded e-mails with David, who I'm seeing
on Saturday / Sunday. I talked to Mollie on Skype. I later
talked to Jim, who I'm now seeing Sunday night instead of
tonight - which is fine, I think. I traded some texts with
Michael S, who was worried about me. And I'm going to bed
soon. I have a bit of a headache, actually.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:19 AM
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I missed my appointment today. I talked to Mike though and
rescheduled it. My stomach was iffy today and I did almost
nothing. I feel lika zombie...like I'm on something, only I've
not taken anything. And I feel oddly stressed. I'm not sure
what's going on in my brain but I'm struggling to snap out of
it.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:36 PM
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