Sunday, November 6, 2011

Food stayed down on Wednesday. Also I went to my
group, which could be productive; it's just a bit odd as it's
mostly made up of people with extremely serious mental
conditions and drug addicts, yet the information being
covered could be effective for anyone. After the group, I
met Janice, our bio dad, Ilyssa and Aaron at the mall.
Before Aaron arrived there was this encounter with this
model type guy and this girl who took my order at
Starbucks who recognized me from an encounter we had
at Best Buy dealing with the movie "Hocus Pocus"! lol. We
sat in the food court and talked; it was nice, but very low
key. When we parted ways I drove dad home and then
went home myself. Later I drove Mark to Gen's, and he's
staying there until Monday morning. I stayed the night
with Aaron, which was wonderful, and he watched the first
3 episodes of Doctor Who.

Thursday my stomach was very upset. I had therapy,
which was nice. I made a doctor's appointment (which is a
big deal, because I have this phobia with talking to people
I don't know on the phone) And I later spent the night with
Aaron again.

Friday I started searching for an apartment online, which
Mark helped with a bit, which was nice of him. It's very
intimidating, and I'm not even sure I'll be moving soon or
if I'll be needing a roomie as Mark has a new plan where
he'd move to Gen's for a few months to give me a better
shot at a better apartment while I stay here with the car
and get a job - which would be nice, but it depends on
him being able to work from home that whole time and we
don't know if that's really an option yet. Anyways, I
searched through apartment sites and joined Pride
Roommates, which had me really excited but then seemed
to be a bust...except then it might not be. I still have to
look into that. Later I managed to keep food down by
taking an old Reglan and was going to take a nap but
Aaron called and his mother wanted to meet me. Aaron's
mom was fantastic. After meeting her I headed home and
must later I fell asleep. I didn't end up seeing Aaron that
night after that which sucked but was ok too.

Saturday was mostly horrible. TERRIBLE Headache, which
has been recurring ever since. I have it again right now. I
really fucking miss Midrin, my old migraine med, which
they stopped making - that would be GREAT right now.
Anyways, most of the day was spent trying to dodge that
bullet and I didn't get passed it until very late in the day. I
talked to Mollie. Karen joined Facebook. I wrote a poem,
which looking back now has surprising depth, which
people grasped long before I did! lol. I also sent out
poems to George and worked on my website a bit. Later
Aaron took me to Aut Bar to watch him play pool. Rusty,
Johnny V., Terry and tons of other people were there.
Johnny bought me 3 shots and I got buzzed super quick,
which was nice - plus after the first shot (which I had a bit
of trouble with) they stayed down. Johnny got super drunk
again, like I've nto seen since early summer and he
actually assaulted my friend Monica and went at her again
which I put a stop too - I put myself between them and
told him to stop and I wouldn't let him near her; he told
me to fuck off and stormed off, but was nice again later
when he got in his cab (which he THANKFULLY took
home); it was a mess, which I suspect he won't remember
later. It was horrible but makes me feel better about us
not becoming invovled...like maybe he really was trying to
protect me from THIS. I flirted a lot; especially with this
guy Tim (who's also a bottom) which I was worried might
upset Aaron, but he was awesome. We later had a really,
really fantastic discussion about that and all sorts of other
details. Great conversation. I don't know if Aaron and I will
last forever or whatever...and I don't care. I mean...I love
how we are right now and we agree that we're both getting
something we need or want out our partnership and it's
really nice. Really nice. He left, borrowing a book of my
poetry, and I went to sleep.

I dreamt of putting Doctor Who in order...which I'm
constantly trying to do. lol. If I can afford the new DVD's
on the 22nd, I can put almost everything in order; the only
thing I won't have is the Torchwood Motion Comic
because it won't be released on DVD here until next year,
but it's released in the UK on the 14th, so hopefully
someone will post a temporary copy that I can use until
the set is available here.

Oh. The final Wicked Years book came out this week. I
want to finish that series, but I don't have the funds to get
it right now. :( It sucks, because Mark cut my allowance by
$10.00...at exactly the same time as he stopped buying a
lot of stuff for me, so I actually need my allowance more
when I don't have it anymore.

Ok. I need more pain killer NOW. I wish I had some
ibuprofen.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:38 AM
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How is it 4 hours later and my headache is still kicking? Also,
I think I hurt my back last night. :(

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:35 PM
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   Friday, November 11, 2011

Where to start?

Monday was horrible. Picking up Mark he suggested that I
live in Gen's place while she takes up residence in my
home with my Mark and my room and my things while I'd
be living in her old place an hour away from my closest
friends and even further from my family...isolated from
from friends, family and therapy. Ugh. I was so
overwhelmed with pain...I ended up cutting myself. When I
picked up the knife I wanted to die. When I wrote my
suicide note I was bleeding on my keyboard. And when I
saw friends commenting on the note (which didn't
mention that I'd be dying) I stopped cutting. I just have
two deep scratches in my arm...but feel a lot better. My
family & friends know so I'm not isolated. And it was this
event which confirmed that I need to get the fuck out. I
saw Ilyssa later but I was very out of it.

Tuesday I took pictures of my nephew Justin for his senior
pictures which went really well. I got to see my sister
Janice's entire family, my parents, my younger sister and
her husband, and my grandparents. I gave my mom her
birthday present (her birthday was Monday). My dad gave
me a cool neclace and a great hug. My little sister, who's
kept her distance from me for years talked to me for
about an hour. It was great. But I was sad too. So much is
changing so fast.

Tuesday night I went to Aut Bar with Aaron to watch him
sing and then went out for food with him and his friends,
including Wes, who said he needed a tennant. And just
like that I met the guy I'd be living with. Mark & I went out
and saw the house (in Ypsi) on Wednesday - the rent is in
the price range I was given (and is actually like $175.00
less than what I was told I could get), including
utilities...and has a washer and dryer...my room will be
smaller than it was but there's plenty of room for my
things and I might get rid of a lot. Also, I have my own
bathroom - and did I mention that my roomies seem really
cool?

Thursday I moved some stuff over there (with Mark &
Ilyssa) and got my house key. I'm both excited...and
extremely depressed about all of this. I need to be
completely moved out by a week from tomorrow.
November 19, 2011. I met Mark on December 19, 1995,
and have barely been away from him since; not a bad run I
suppose. We used to celebrate the 19th every month as
our monthly anniversary. Ugh.

I stayed in last night. I felt like I might be coming down
with a cold but I feel a bit better now. I miss Aaron. I've
not seen him since Wednesday night. Tonight will be 3
weeks since I met him...and though we're taking things
relatively slow, we consider ourselves a couple. He's
actually best friends with one of my roomies and lived
with the other one so that's conveniant, if a bit odd.

I need to get stuff done. I hate that stuff is so
disorganized here. I want to clean and pack and possibly
write.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:40 PM
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