Thursday, December 10, 2009

Trying to keep my distance from Mark to not piss him off in my sleep deprived state, I've managed to piss him off just the same. I didn't mean to...just everything annoys me when I'm tired. I know this. I tell Mark this, and it upsets him that I'm upset, taking it personally, when I tell him it's not. I'm just exhausted, but can't sleep, and my eyes are burning up in my head, but I can't sleep. My head is pounding. The painkiller not working. Ugh.

I'm listening to the same George Michael track over and over again ("Waiting For That Day"). It seems to calm my nerves slightly. I shut it off for awhile, thinking it would help with the headache, but I found that I missed it. It's not loud though so I think it's fine.

Mark asked why the person I was writing online doesn't annoy me if he does. The thing is, the person online isn't 'talking' or standing near me, or any of the things that I become hyper-sensitive to when I'm tired like this. I'm not sure that makes sense, but I could chat with Mark on the computer right now and that would be fine, but seeing him is something else altogether.

I'm feeling kind of out of it. And I'm annoyed that I couldn't sleep earlier...cause I want to see Michael.

He just called while I was typing that. Says I should try to sleep and if I wake up like, say around midnight he can still come over cause he doesn't have to sleep until 4am. I was hoping he'd want to sleep sooner and come over. :-0( Oh well. Not sure I can sleep anyways. He says that even if he doesn't come over tonight he was planning / hoping to come over Friday night and stay until Sunday - if that was ok with me.

Mark wants to go get vaccinated against H1N1 tomorrow. It would be nice to have that vaccine. I could go clubbing in 10 days time without worrying about catching anything worse than a cold - and a cold would be bad enough. Coughing with my jaw fucked up is a new level of hell.

Anywayws...gonna brush my teeth, and lay down now I think. Give this a try.

I love you Michael.

I love you too Mark, and I'm sorry if I pissed you off. I'm just tired and bitchy. Don't take it too personally.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:25 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [1 Comments]