Sunday, February 7, 2010

Wednesday / Thursday were a bit rough with a bitchy Michael visiting...it was seriously not fun. It started when I found him looking for sex online, and went downhill from there. There were good moments, and inbetween moments, but it mostly had to do with Michael thinking I might be better off without him in my life, so he was trying to push me away...I think. It was weird. I did enjoy watching "The Plan" with him; much more enjoyable the 2nd time around. I got a lot more of the symbolism, which I shared with Mark after he watched it. As a movie it's kind of lame; as a special episode of the show it's pretty fucking cool.

Lots of stomach upset on Thursday-Saturday. Cutting a lot of the sugar out of my diet is not fun. Mix that with the randomness of eating and pill popping and add in my crazy emotional state of late and you have tummy troubles.

I visited Michael on Friday (after my productive plans for the day were quashed and I was awakened from dreams of Ian) to talk to him about us. We're not a couple, yet we're like a couple in that we're working on stuff and trying to get to a place where we can be a couple again. But I basically said that what I want is a guy that's faithful to me even when he desires others because he loves me so it means more with me... And he's not that guy right now. I also said that I didn't want him not having sex on my account, because I don't want to be hurting him by stopping him; I'd rather he were as happy as he can possibly be; I love him that much. He said I wasn't hurting him and he wasn't interested in sex with other people at the moment. That lasted about 24 hours.

I slept from about 1:30am to like 4pm. I took a muscle relaxant and just slept and slept and it was wonderful. I hopped online later and Michael was looking for sex again, very nearly hooking up with Dave even though I was told I could come over anytime that night and I had offered just before the Dave things went into overdrive. Ugh. Hello to the pain. I called him and talked it out, and later joined him for a Roseanne marathon, cuddles, some sexy time (which hurt my jaw, and hurt me on a level that I can't quite express here - I really miss sucking dick. It must sound silly but it's killing me.), and more cuddles...I left him asleep in his bed to go grocery shopping on my way home. He was back online looking again when I got hom. :-0( I'm not enough for him. Even with romantic cuddle time. Not sure what to think about that as I've been invited for a sleep over there tonight. Not sure about much right now.

Did the farm thing. I came home so I could eat, but the events of the night made that kind of impossible. Erg.

I still haven't watched the new Caprica or Spartacus. I did manage to watch an episode of LOST this week and the first episode of The Vampire Diaries - which was really weird because they've changed so much from the books.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:24 AM
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