Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Monday was rough.

Cuddled with Mark in his room, then we slept and cuddled in mine. He's holding me here in the world. I have crazy thoughts and phases where I feel ugly, unwanted, broken, destroyed...and then I have moments where I'm ok. The fact that I still have a kidney stone working it's way out of me and pain in my jaw and my ass and trouble keeping food down and everything else - it's all just a little hard to take right now.

I'm trying to hold onto the fact that I've not lost Michael completely. Our relationship just changed. In fact in basically just changed into what it already was and I've just never been able to accept. I need to live and let him live and we'll be there for each other in any other matter.

I feel ok right now. Not great. Not terrible. But my mood changes pretty quickly lately.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:10 AM
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