Saturday, July 17, 2010

So...after the last entry I went to bed with a headache and some Midrin, and woke up around 5 hours later. It was 11:30pm I think. I hurredly showered and got ready for my 'date' that I was meeting at Necto. Before I left I sent an e-mail to Shawn, letting him know that I wished he'd be there (cause he's awesome) and I texted Jeff to let him know I'd be there soon. When I arrived I texted him letting him know exactly where I was and what I was wearing so he could come find me, and he responded that he was in the red room. No other info than that. Not a good start. I left my hat & jacket in the lighting booth, got a drink, and headed downstairs; I texted him letting him know where I was downstairs but he didn't respond. I danced. He still hadn't responded and this guy asked me to dance which we did...it was fun and sexy. Later we went upstairs and talked a lot. His name is Kwame and he's 26; never been in a serious relationship; cute; funny - and considerate, which I was pretty sure my 'date' wasn't. I confessed I was there to meet someone and texted the guy letting him know where I was again; Jeff responded that he'd taken his shirt off and was looking for me. He found me. Um...why he found me I don't know because he then continued to ignore me almost the rest of the night, constantly leaving me and saying he'd be right back - no chemistry; no tact; and not very attractive (that's me being generous); plus he'd scared Kwame away, who was actually cool. I eventually ran into Kwame again and asked if he wanted to hang out (letting him know I wasn't talking about hooking up); he agreed and we left (with Jeff stopping me to find out if I was leaving - like he was suddenly interrested - whatever). I took Kwame back to my place and he & Mark & I sat talking downstairs when I rememebered that I'd left my hat and jacket at the bar - which was now closed. Back to the bar we went, where the door guys went and got my stuff for me! Thanks guys! Back to my place. More conversation. More relaxed low-key fun. Then I took Kwame home. I came home.

I texted Michael when I got him and he called me. We talked for a bit. I cried. I miss him. I don't miss the uncertainty or the pain, but I miss the perfect idea of him from last summer. He said he was there for me if I wanted to come over and I said goodbye thinking I'd go over in a beat and cuddle with him. Only my stomach, which has been calm for days, randomly gave me problems. I texted Michael to let him know I wouldn't be over and why, but that if he was free later I could hang out and we could play Wii or something.

(This up and down of happy and sad is normal after a breakup...and I'm sure I'll mellow out eventually but it's fucking confusing as hell right now.)

Then my headache returned. Full Force. I took midrin and a hot shower...then cuddled with Mark (who also had a headache) in his bed, eventually falling asleep. I woke up around 1:30pm. Got up. Took meds. And did Facebook stuff. There aren't any messages from Michael. We'll see what happens next.

Thanks for being there last night Mark.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:48 PM
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