Monday, August 9, 2010

Yeah. So Friday morning was HELL. And I seriously wanted to die. And then somehow I bounced back. Part of that was due to this boy Shawn I've been talking to. Turns out he liked me more than I thought and while plans fell apart we ended up meeting at Aut Bar, going to Necto together on a date. There was dancing and flirting and all kinds of fun. He spent the night here. No sex. Just affection, and there was no pain and no lies and it was wonderful and healing.

Most of Saturday I slept because I needed to take a muscle relaxer for my jaw - probably from stress and then laughing & talking so much. Also my stomach was upset on Saturday. I did talk to Shawn a bit though and trade some texts with Tom. I didn't talk to Michael at all though I missed a call from him; he left no message and I didn't feel the need to chase after him. I got a blazing hot angry e-mail from Mollie about how I should stay away from Michael and to a degree she's right. The only thing holding me back at this point are certain feeling that I don't know how to express that are wrapped up in him that I've yet to explore. But the man I thought I knew has prove to be nothing but lies. Hopefully I'll come out of this stronger than I was before...and healthier too.

Something else about Saturday / Sunday - most of it I was home and on my own and for the first time in a long time I was ok with that. I had hoped to spend more time with Shawn but that didn't pan out and yet I wasn't overly disappointed - more just grateful to have the time to heal and be on my own.

Sunday. Slept well. Very well. Talked to Shawn on the phone. Got up and showered. Tom texted me and I called him back. Mark & I went to Little Caesars, picking Tom up on the way and then went back and ate at Tom's apartment. We had MUCH conversation and fun. Much Much. Feeling pretty good right now. Hope that doesn't mean that I'll crash later.

I did e-mail Michael on Sunday about some possible plans which may or may not happen - stuff that are kind of lingering threads of our time together. I hope that all works out. Not sure how it will play out or even if it will. We'll see.

I just know that Thursday night I wanted to die from the pain inflicted on me...and Friday / Saturday / Sunday brought me much peace and loving and friendship, and I'm grateful for that. Hopefully my stomach starts to calm down and everything will be roses. I'm hoping to hang out with Chris Varney this week and possibly Sean Mobley.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:41 AM
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