Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Sunday, before going to Di's house, Michael texted me to let me know he'd deleted me from his Facebook friends list. He said it was too difficult seeing me move on with other guys. He also felt me a very heartfelt voicemail saying how sorry he was that he had hurt me so terribly and that he knew that I'd find someone amazing because I deserve to. I told him that I understood him needing space but if he ever decided he needed me as a friend that I'd be there if I was able. I found it oddly fitting that he was telling me some deep truths and putting some healing distance between us 1 year to the day that he'd thrown me that huge birthday party which at the time felt like a lie, and then later (when the truth came to light) like a payoff. It only took 1 year but I got the present that I really needed, even if it made me a little sad.

Mark & I had a good time visiting with Bryan, Robert, Di, Kyra (Robert's girlfriend) and Chris (an Alfaro relative). We played euchre and talked about old times. They gave me some fun gifts, which I hadn't expected at all. It was all good.

Monday morning I watched the new True Blood. And I finally slept for more than 4 hours at a time. Monday night I hung out with Shawn Walker and his friend Steve at Aut Bar (I walked there). My friends Andy & Redcloud were there, plus Ryan & Shane (people I'd met recently). After Aut closed Shawn, Steve & I walked to Pizza House for food and conversation - it was all good. Mark kindly picked us up as it was chilly outside. We dropped Steve off at his place on Liberty, then dropped Shawn off at his car and we made plans to hang out on Tuesday.

I watched some more Six Feet Under; I have 4 episodes left in Season 4, and 16 episode overall.

I did the dishes and several loads of laundry.

Tuesday morning Michael left me a voicemail saying that he missed me and that he's miserable without me. That he's trying to keep his distance but it's difficult. I had a good breakfast. Michael called me later and said that he loves me, misses me and wishes we were back together. I told him I love and miss him and think we could be great friends. When I met Michael, he rushed us into a relationship and soon asked me to marry him...and now it feels like he's trying to rush my healing process. I don't think he means to do that...I'm flattered by it in some ways, but things have to go the way things have to go. He told me that if I ever feel like giving us another chance that he'd be open to that and let me go.

Later I hung out with Shawn; took him to meet some of my relatives: my grandparents, my lil sis (who was nice to me), Aunt Marge, Uncle Mike, Katie, Michael White, Dadgr(?) & Jenny's 3 kids. It was all good.

Later we had naked cuddles and lots of conversation...but no sex. It was very odd, very strange, yet somehow nice also. Stuff might happen later or we might just be friends...but I really like him. A lot. And he says he likes me a lot too. I'm not gonna worry about it. ;-0)

I left Shawn's place at like a quarter to 2am. I would have stayed and cuddled with him but I was very hungry and all my food was at home. I stopped at Meijer for more Silk and some other random things. I had a snack and I went to bed. I slept for like 4.5 hours again. Got up and played online.

I need to eat.

And I'm a bit bored. I might sleep some more actually as I have the free time at the moment. I need to get in touch with Tom and see what he's up to. He texted me something about chocolate last night but I was in Milan and getting bad reception. Might watch more Six Feet Under. Not sure.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:37 AM
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