Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I stayed in Friday night.

Saturday my stomach was VERY upset. I spent most of the night puking. I had a standing ivite to Michael's though, and he assured me I could come over at any point as he'd be completely alone and we could cuddle. When I walked into his place a bit after 2am I walked in on him fucking this guy (Dave). It was shocking and humiliating, plus a whole bunch of other emotions as Dave was the guy Michael had fucked the morning I learned that he was cheating on me. Dave was also the first guy to confirm that Michael was cheating, while Michael was still denying it. Dave is actually much hotter in person than online, with a very sexy voice. He left. I stayed. Michael showered and got ready for work. I didn't get any cuddles. I came home zoned out on Xanax, wanting to cry...tempted to die...and very, very unhappy.

Later that day (Sunday) after sleeping, I got online and sent Dave an apology for the situation, giving him my side. He said that since I'd seen him naked, and I was cute and nice that we should fuck. Not the response I was expecting, but flattering none the less. I gave him my contact info and suggested we hang out instead but I don't think he'll respond to that. Michael has told me in the past that he's not interested in anything more than sex, which means he probably has a boyfriend or a girlfriend or something. Whatever. lol.

I also patched things up with Sean, who was the first guy who told me that Michael was cheating before I confronted him. Sean & Michael will be working together the first 2 weeks of November. During those 2 weeks, Michael will be living with me & Mark. How fucked up is that? lol

Paula cancelled the planned on euchre game as she woke up with a Migrain. I was ok with this as I was so depressed, yet hadn't wanted to cancel for Mark's enjoyment of the game.

My stomach continued to bother me on Sunday & Monday. I'm very, very unhappy about this and I'm considering talking to my doctor about that surgery to see if it can help me. I hate that I fear food, even as I crave it. I hate that I've lost 15 pounds; not because I'm drastically thinner, but because the way things are going I might not be able to gain weight and that could be a major problem. Ugh.

Last night, Michael hooked up with some guy for a blowjob and I decided I need to stop caring about him. I was thinking about him in boyfriend terms again. I know it's because I've been spending so much time with him, but I've felt the need to do so because sometime next week he'll be moving and not only will I see him less often (aside from those two weeks in November), I'll also lose that apartment of his which is filled with MOSTLY good memories. :-0(

I shaved off the beard I was growing last night. I did all of my laundry (the last load is in the washer right now). I cleaned my room. I read another chapter of WICKED which is really much better the 2nd time, though very slow going. I chatted online. I considered going to Necto but my stomach wouldn't let me. I also got VERY HORNY last night and considered hooking up but in the end that's not really my style.

I'll be spending some time with Michael today & tomorrow. I have a tentative date with Felix on Thursday. Friday I might hang out with this guy Caleb, who I made out with years ago. We'll see.

I should be sleeping right now but again, my stomach won't let me. I just took a prilosec AND a reglan to see if I can get some stuff to stay down. If so I may sleep soon.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:36 AM
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