Sunday, December 5, 2010

Either my arm is improving...or I'm getting used to the pain. Not sure. The redness seems to be spreading, but the swelling seems to be less. Not sure if that's good or bad.

Mark's on his way home. He got to 2nd base with Jennifer. Weird. Not weird that Mark got to 2nd base with a date, though I don't think that's happened since he dated me, but because it's Jennifer. Last night, Jennifer recommended that I take an antihistamine and that it would probably knock me out...and this little red flag shot up...cause Michael would encourage me to sleep when he would cheat on me (now it's hard for me to hear someone suggest sleep and not feel like they have ulterior motives), only she's not cheating on me...and Mark isn't cheating on me. They're my friends and I love them and I need to get out of this head space where them being together hurts me because it's not healthy, and it's probably not even worth it. Like...it's probably a really great thing and I'm just feeling weird cause I'm not involved - you know? Like I'm usually the conduit between Jennifer & Mark and now they have their own thing so I feel disconnected? I don't know if that's really what I'm feeling but I honestly don't know what I'm feeling except confusion and anxiety.

I'm probably gonna take another allergy capsule and go to sleep. I'm tired.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:47 AM
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