Sunday, November 27, 2011

I took a candlelit bath and took half a xanax. I just
sort of feel the weight of all the change of late. I
feel like my whole life with Mark A was just some
freaky dream and I'm waking up with none of the
support that I dreamt that I had. I'm ok. I know
this. I have a roof over my head and friends... But
my stomach is regressing me to crazy child me who
can't make sense of all that's happened except to
think I'm being punished by my father's angry god.
I'm trying to snap out of it. No more cutting and no
more death...but it's like I'm split down the middle
and one part of me is strong and one part is
broken...but I couldn't tell you which side is which.

I need to start looking for a job but without my
computer it's hard to apply at places right now...and
part of me is terrified...while the other part is scared
but putting on a brave face.

Aaron should be here soon.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:13 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]