Thursday, June 9, 2011

I ended up not going to sleep after the last entry. I
watched Nurse Jackie, Chelsea Lately & Caprica. And then I
finished my edit of episode 2 of Caprica, which turned out
beautifully. I got Mark up for work; he helped me with my
conversion of the file and then he left and I slept for 8
wonderful hours.

Waking, I had a shake as Mark headed out to a friend's.
Then his girlfriend, who I'm trying to mend fences with,
yet get ill just thinking of her, texted me. I'd asked her not
to. That she couldn't keep herself from contacting me
doesn't bode well in my opinion. It was a polite text that
thanked me for my recent gift of Season 27 of the
Whoniverse...and then that she's falling for Mark and she
hopes we can be friends. I would like us to be friends
too...yet I need some time to distance some stuff, which is
why I asked her not to contact me...only she did. This
raises a red flag. Also, the fact that she's falling for Mark,
despite the fact that she broke up with him via text last
week...is just weird. It's not weird that she's falling for
Mark because he's AWESOME on many, many levels...but
it's weird that she says she's falling for him so soon after
breaking up with him simply because he didn't call her
back right away, when she knew he was walking
downtown and had told her he'd call back when he got
home. I'm not sure if I should respond. I'm not sure how I
feel about the text. It just seems like something she could
have relayed through Mark without doing something that I
asked her not to do. It's just...lately, no matter what I ask
or plan, I don't get what I'm wanting because of
her...which makes it difficult to like her...especially since I
can't express my being upset to her because then she
freaks out. It's frustrating. Add to that, that we're both
attention whores and there's only 1 Mark and I've been
trying to limit my contact with him when he's with her so
that she can have her time with him...yet she doesn't seem
to extend the same courtesy to me. I just feel like I'm
getting the short end of the stick here and it sucks. And
now I'm puking again, when I haven't in 24 hours. Nice.
Thanks for that.

I have a doctor's appointment a week from tomorrow at
which I'm going to ask that I be allowed to have the
surgery that sometimes helps people with my condition. I
don't want back on the meds because even though they
helped me, they're very dangerous and they take away all
my limited energy - plus I take far too much medication as
it is. Perhaps the surgery will help? I won't know until I try
and it seems like my best option now...but I'm terrified.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:00 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]