Monday, March 20, 2006

Work was mostly fun last night, despite me being really tired. With all kinds of wackyness (including but not exclusive to a fantastic visit from Carrie, and appearances by laundry bound Heidi & Pat) preventing me from leaving just after midnight like I usually do, I didn't get out until about 12:30am; 5 hours later than I've been going to bed. When I got home I checked my e-mail, and there was a frantic message from my friend Linda saying she really needed to talk to me. I called her right away, and we talked for about 4 hours. It was really nice talking with her, and at least trying to help her sort out some of the shit she's going through, but I was so exhausted. I hope things get better for her, and where she's at. Hopefully I'll be updated on that situation soon.

After I got off the phone, I said goodnight to Mark, who was online playing poker, at 4am. Mark says he's not addicted to gambling, but it sure seems like he is. First he started off playing free games; then games where he could win money but didn't risk any money. The other day he played a game (where real money was involved) and he lost 8 dollars. He rationalized, that it was money he had won from playing, and therefore it wasn't a big deal, but I'm not convinced. In fact it really scares me. I know this is a racial stereotype, but Native Americans and gambling doesn't sit well with me. I just don't want him to get into trouble. And he plays the games constantly; he knows when they are scheduled and trys to be home or awake for them. He plays games instead of doing his taxes (which I myself have not yet done), and he stays awake to play when he should be sleeping before work. It doesn't seem safe, or healthy. And now I'm starting to wonder how much of our trip to Vegas was about him really feeling a need to play there. I had never thought of going to Vegas before then. I don't want anything bad to happen to him, or us. I don't want him to become one of those people that CAN'T stop. But he seems to be heading in that direction... "I can stop if I want to." That kind of thing. I understand the need for a fun outlet, but I'd rather it be something that couldn't come back to bite him in the ass. He has an addictive personality; I know he's had addiction problems in the past, which is so OF THE PAST, but I don't want to see him fall into something that could hurt his future, or even his present. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm worried about him.

I finished reading my e-mail before bed, and I actually got a response from Steven, and he want's to hang out in person and talk and stuff. I'm stoked about that. I've been trying to catch up with a lot of people from the past, and just see what's happened to us all. It's really very fascinating, and it helps to know what others have been through. I wish I could get in touch with Jennifer. I've left her messages but she never returns them. I hope she's alive and well. Still nothing from Erich, which is annoying. If I just knew he was alive, that would be nice, becuase I have a history of people not calling, because they died. Actually, Saturday marks 14 years since the whole hospital thing. Soon it will be 17 years, since I was 17, and at Mercywood. Weird.

So I got a bit of sleep. I checked to see what time "V for Vendetta" was playing, but realized I don't really feel like seeing it today. I decided I'd rather stay in and read and relax. I'm re-reading the Worlds of DS9 books in anticipation of the new book, and I'm really REALLY enjoying them. I didn't realize how much I missed the characters. Anyways, I might go see UltraViolet tonight, and see V for Vendetta tomorrow. That's what I'm considering now. For now...For right now, I'm happy where I am.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:40 AM
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