Wednesday, August 17, 2011

I had a nice visit with Carrie on my birthday. She's one of
those friends that has been with me for so long that she
understands my condition so I can be open with her and
not freak her out. We talked a lot. Mark joined us later and
there was more talking and a few pictures. I was getting
extremely tired but still wanted a birthday drink. Carrie
headed home and we were going to Necto but then Mark
remembered that I forgot to renew my Drivers License.
Ugh. We went to Aut Bar instead and I got my drinks
(thanks Mark!) but they weren't nearly as good as they are
at Necto. I saw some old friends, met a kid named David
and a guy I'd never seen before named Brandon...30 years
old, bisexual; apparently he knows Tracy, whom I went out
with a couple times in 2006. We headed home soon
enough, after snapping a picture outside the bar. I went to
bed soon afterward.

I slept well. I woke up Saturday morning and came up with
an even better order for Season 32 of the
Whoniverse...which solved a lot of problems, and those
changes help out a lot, yet there will be more to come as
this season of the Whoniverse is very difficult to guess at,
as many seemingly multi-part stories have huge gaps of
time between them, while other seemingly standalone
episode have the potential to be more like multi-part
stories. I'm looking forward to having all the pieces and
putting it all together.

I got a migraine shortly after waking, which is too bad
because a guy sent me a nice message online but I had to
go try to get rid of the headache. I did all the usual things
and it got better slowly though I felt a bit out of it though.

Mark was going to Gen's on Sunday (that was the plan at
the time). I find it ironic and sickening that the one day a
week I asked for has been the day 2 weekends in a row
that he's gone to see her. It's like adding insult to injuury.
Like not only will I never have that...but I don't even get it
in the time she's "given" me. Puke.

Anyways - my stomach went insane and I couldn't keep
anything down...and then Mark went to Gen's Saturday
night...and came home Monday morning - then went to
work. Actually Monday wasn't bad and I got to spend time
with him that night.

Sunday...my stomach was better but I had little food and
zero energy. I rewatched a series of The Clone Wars
episodes - which were awesome! I just read that Season 4
of the series kicks off Friday, September 16. Nice.

Also Sunday...I wrote a poem inspired a bit by Mark, but
mostly about my friend Johnny Vaughn and a painting he
gave me on my birthday. That was the highlight of my day.

Yeah. Monday I renewed my licence. I got my new meds. I
bought myself a shirt that I really love (rare for me to find
stuff like that). I got some more alcohol and groceries
and...it was a good night.

Except my pills haven't worked as of yet, which leaves me
feeling really vulnerable. It would be nice to have Mark
around when I'm feeling that way, but he's going to Gen's
AGAIN tonight. And then going on a trip with her starting
Saturday and ending sometime next week. Good thing
she's giving me all this space - except I don't have any. It
was bullshit. Even when he's home from work he webcams
with her all the time...and texts constantly. I've lost him. I
really have. And it sucks.

Yesterday sucked. I was sick. And Mark hurt my feelings.
And I just feel so horrible right now. I had a nice chat with
a guy. That was the highlight of that day.

I watched some Torchwood today. I've got one more
episode to go before I caught up but that last one was
BRUTAL. It's just reached "Children of Earth" levels of
darkness. I still feel like this season is a bit disjointed, and
I HATE the music. I usually love the composer's work -
he's often the best thing about some Doctor Who episodes
- yet here the tone often doesn't match what is on
screen...which is obnoxious.

So if the new meds don't start working then I have to try
to get a different one...and if that doesn't work I have to
take a test to get my old drugs back. Basically...I probably
won't be well again until late fall, and by then it will be too
late to go anywhere and do anything. I feel completely
ripped off.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:59 PM
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