Saturday, July 16, 2011

I have this odd sensation that the world is crashing down
on me. That I'm being crushed by all that is happening
around me and that I have no control. I have dark visions.
And the only way I survive it are the few encounters I have
with others...and the few distractions that I'm allowed. I
can't read. I've tried. I don't know if it's the drugs or what
but I can't concentrate on a book long enough to be
sucked away into it's storyline long enough to forget my
own. I watched a movie the other day ("Hannah") which
was enjoyable. I managed to get 3 more Caprica episodes
edited and converted, which leaves only 3 more of those. I
watched the new Torchwood, which I enjoyed a lot more
than the first installment; the current season is both
darker and lighter than previous seasons. "Children of
Earth" felt more intense I think, but it was 5 big episodes
in one week and I think that helped the intensity of it...it's
too soon to know how the remaining 8 episodes (9 if you
include the side-story motion comic) will affect the story
but I'm looking forward to it.

I'll probably work on more Caprica today; it would be nice
to be finished with this segment of BSG. Not because I
want it to be over, but because I could then recommend it
to my friends. I'll probably sleep a bit more. Maybe chat?
Mark will be home tomorrow. I need Mark time. Probably
more than he knows. His girlfriend is bothered by this,
and I feel bad about that, yet I feel like I'm drowning and if
I don't ask for help then what? And it's only 1 day a week
I'm asking for. I don't get to go out on Fridays
anymore...and I feel cut off. A boy I went out with a few
times years ago who's remained a friend, Brian, he texted
me last night to see if I could come to Necto, but I didn't
have time to get dressed AND walk there. If I'd had the car
it would have been worth the trip.

I have an appointment on Wednesday with Community
Health to see about a shrink. I hope it helps.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:01 AM
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