Tuesday, December 7, 2010

I watched the new 'Brothers & Sisters' yesterday morning,
which I loved. I later read that ratings wise the episode
tied with it's lowest rated episode ever. I don't want the
series to be cancelled as I'm enjoying this season far more
than the last 2 (it's regained a lot of fun and a pleasing
new direction), but like all my shows, if were to end well, I
would also be pleased that the final season was better
than a few previous seasons.

I slept later that day. My arm has improved tremendously!
Mark has been taking good care of me :) We've talked
more about he & Jennifer and I'm starting to come around
to the idea. It's still a bit weird, but change always is, I
guess.

So...still super worried about money. Michael will find out
on Thursday how much money he can give me. After that I
have to try to borrow money from a relative. I hate asking
for money...which is why I never do it if I can help it. It's
been, I think, at least 8 or 9 years since I've done so.

Michael has the internet again. This makes me sad. I'd
thought that perhaps he'd not have sex for 3 months, and
he'd get tested, and we could finally be together again, at
least physically...but he's already been on Manhunt and
I'm sure he'll be there often. I cried when I realized this.
It's not like I thought he'd ever be my boyfriend again...but
knowing that I'll never have him again sucks.

I started watching the 'GI Joe' movie last night. It seems
fun in a stupid kind of way, which doesn't bother me,
because that's exactly how the show was when I was a kid.
So far I like it much better than 'Transformers' which was
horribly stupid, though I know someone who has almost
convinced me to give the latter a 2nd chance. Almost.
We'll see.

I had dreams inspired by 'Let The Right One In' with
violent but sympathetic child vampires. I also dreamt
about being on my parents' property and seeing an
amazing cloud formation. I went to get the camera to take
a picture of it and saw another one, which was equally
beautiful. I was naked, but this wasn't freaky. I got the
camera but couldn't get the shot because it started to rain.
Later I was downtown A2. Downtown A2 is always the
same in my dreams, yet very different from reality. Later
still, I was with Mark on campus and met these stuck up
girls who turned out to be really cool. We went to this odd
eatery and talked about going to an A&W for fries. We
went to the mall and I ran into this crazy sexy group of
gays that I'd not seen in years...I think they're from other
dreams that I've had; not real people. I saw a girl from
another dream...she threw up and I asked her about this
and she said it happens every day. I told her about gastro
paresis and to talk to her doctor about it. I wanted to say
goodbye to all the people but I missed most of them. Back
at my parents I was walking naked through a field and
remembering having phone conversations with a wise
older gay man back when I was younger (something else
from previous dreams) and thinking about calling him to
tell him how much he'd meant to me. The wind came up,
and the greenery around me moved, shaking in the wind,
which felt fantastic...and I woke up smiling, yet slightly
sad. And I wrote this.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:42 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]