Saturday, April 29, 2006

I was just havng the most fabulous dream, about school, and my sisters, and church, and my grandparents, and death, and we were all watching the 4th Season of the L Word on DVD and the opening of the disc was this candlight intro by the cast doing this major poetry piece that was completely rocking my world! And then a knock on my door. Maybe he'll go away if I don't answer; let me listen to the poetry. A knock at my door. Again. Damn. Leave me alone PLEASE. Now it sounds like he's opening my door to double check. Maybe he isn't though, but my imagining he was pulled me the fuck out of that heaven of lesbians kicking ass with words, candles and deeds(like Buffy before me!) and now I'm here, and annoyed and pissed off.

I haven't written here since Monday because our internet connection was all kinds of sucky. Monday night I went to Aut Bar on my way to Necto - Matt Joined me, which was mostly fun, if very strange. Not sure about that one. Always the kiss, and fit, but never a complete answer. Oh well.

Nothing much happened this week, except a return to a chocolate addiction, which must now die. Jennifer is visiting from Seattle today, and will soon return to Michigan due to depression & worried loving friends. Shawn & Jonathan have been back togother for 2 months (though both apparently thought that the other had told me - only they hadn't) and are moving to Grand Rapids today. Mark & I finished 5th Season Dawson's Creek. I worked and I slept and I ate the forbidden chocolate, and I tried not to feel so damned bad. I continued to work on Shawn's cds, as I've done for years now, but the damned things refuse to finish themselves in my absence, and the terrible passages are still terrible and unexplored by a more thurough eye. Elvis returned from the dead again this week. My Elvis. With plans to visit me that were cancelled, but promises to return again, and this time with Tracy #4; Hip-Hop Tracy whom I loved so shortly & sweetly. May 18.

Mark just came back to find me writing, and when I tried to read to him what I had written but he left early on, and I continued to read aloud, delighting in the words, and the memory of the dream...until it hurt too much to continue reading aloud without an audience. And I continued to write.

We met Mollie & Kenny at Pizza Hut on Thursday night. Lots of laughter, and later a trip to Hollywood; fun was had by all. Last night I met up with my friends Mollie, Kenny, Carrie, Karen & Adam at Applebees; laughter abounded, resounded, dumbfounded us all. I'm aware that I'm spelling a lot of this wrong, but refuse to correct it; this is a free flow first draft and I can't be bothered to correct this stuff.

Dreams of the locker room return with the cute bully boy who just wanted to make out with me at my inner city high school - with college credit. The air conditioning is easing me back into dreams, and I will not resist. No bus rides for now; for now I must sleep before cleaning, before Mark & I collect our Jennifer.

Yet my brain is troubled by the chance that Mark will rebell and refuse to accompany me to the airport. It's a small worry though, and I won't let that stop the dreams from overtaking me...in this race that I've apparently already won.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:12 PM
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