Friday, July 7, 2006

I slept after the last entry, until about 1am. I woke up, did some more laundry, watched some Smallville, and then did some truly inspired work on Jeremy's cd. Things that I thought would be really hard, actually aren't, so that's cool, but I really don't know if he'll actually like the results. Of course I didn't think Shawn would like his, but he's really embraced the tracks that he's heard, and even Travis loved his, which I had thought was intentionally harsh with him. Maybe people just appreciate honesty, but this one's got some pretty personal Jeremy info on it, or at least my interpretation of it, and that's where I could be wrong about something, and that will be recorded. So I'm nervous, but I'm trying to frame it in such a way, that it will be fine even if I'm wrong. Some of it is based on dreams, which takes away some of that stress. ;-0)

Mark tried to fix itunes for me, but there's a new firewall on itunes or comcast which is preventing me from getting my music, which I'm way pissed about. Mark doesn't know what to do, which seldom happens, but maybe he'll get it later.

I went back to bed around 6am, but didn't really fall asleep til about 7:30am as the neighbors were fucking - quiet for them actually, but still...and then I just couldn't stop moving. Does that ever happen to other people? Where you're tired, and comfy, but before you can drift off to sleep, you just have to move? It's really annoying.

Mark woke me up from a dream about taking him to a piercing parlor, for moral support. I was to hold his hand while he was pierced, but he passed out when he saw the artist, and I told them what he wanted done, but woke up before I got to see what was pierced. I tried to say as little as possible and kept my eyes closed, in hopes of getting back into the dream and finding out what Mark got pierced, but while I got back to sleep quickly, I don't remember what I dreamt.

I answered the phone at 9:53, and it was Jeremy, which I really didn't expect. He was surprised that I answered the phone, but when I saw the time, I knew I'd be staying up now, so I could finish the laundry that I needed for today, and get ready so I could be on time for work. He was just calling to thank me for my patience, and my poetry, which he said he really appreciated. Aaaahhhh. And he sounded like he was smiling, and like he was less troubled, which was a nice sound to wake up to. He wants to get together and talk again soon. Hopefully I can keep my hormones in check this time. I'm sure I can; it will just take some practice, and possibly a lot of masturbation before hand. lol We'll see how that goes, but the phone call was nice.

I called Mark to tell him about my dream, and the call from Jeremy. We talked for awhile, and set up a time for him to pick me up for work. I told him I was grateful for him, and glad that he was in my life, and he said the same to me, and that he especially liked that I called, and that he enjoyed the talking. ;-0) We don't always trade insults. lol

So I got some clothes out of the dryer, put some more in the dryer, put still more in the washer, and hung up the clothes I got out of the dryer. Then I wrote this. I need to take some prilosec, as my stomach is unhappy; I hate that part of my life. I really do. I sometimes feel like just ripping out my stomach...or I have minor fantasies about dying. They are minor in that I quickly think about my friends and loved ones, and realize there's just no way that I can do that; at least not now. I'm not opposed to suicide; I'd just like it to be on my terms, and a good time, where I don't fuck up a ton of other people, you know? I'm sure several people reading that will be disturbed, but I'm just being honest, and if your stomach was upset all the time, for 5 years, you'd probably feel the same way.

So, yeah, I'm gonna take the prilosec, shave and shower, and later...eat something, and try to get myself prepped for Hollywood. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:42 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]