Wednesday, August 9, 2006

See the previous 2 entries to see what the fuck I'm talking about here:

When I got to the bar Sunday night, I went to say hello to Jeremy right away. It sucks that I can't visit him anywhere except when he's working. I can't just drop by his house, because that would be disrespectful of his boyfriend, Danny. I don't want to piss danny off, or hurt him, so I stay away, even though he knows all about me. The whole thing is strange, and I know this. Still there was a bit of conversation, and some shared smiles. He gave me a free drink, and I tipped him $3.00, though the drink was too strong, and I couldn't finish it.

David Grant was there again, and I said hello to him, and met his friend Caroline. We chatted briefly, but they headed off, and I was on my own, which was fine. I like going to bars by myself. It's not that I don't enjoy going with friends, but when I'm alone anything can happen, and I'm good with that. When I'm with friends, I generally concentrate on them, and it kind of defeats the purpose of being in a bar, which for me is either about losing myself in the music, or just people watching. Is that weird?

I talked to my pal Jon, who I hadn't seen in ages, and I met his friends. Their names escape me, but one of them mentioned that he was surprised that Jeremy was nice to him. Now, understand that I didn't even bring Jeremy's name up, and I couldn't imagine Jeremy being mean to anyone, so I asked what he meant, and he told me that he usually gets his hair cut by Jeremy, but that he went to someone else, and that Jeremy was known for being pissy about such things. That didn't seem like Jeremy to me; I could see it happening, but only if there was something more to it, you know? There must have been something else going on there. I mentioned it to Jeremy, and he was able to pick the guy out in the crowd, and said that of course he was nice to the guy because he's not shallow like that, though the guy's friend was - there was some kind of drama going on, and while I wanted to know what it was, I didn't think this was the time or place, and I didn't want to piss anyoone off, so I just let the whole thing slide by.

There was a stripping contest going on when I got there. I don't really enjoy strippers that much, unless I know them. I need to connect with people to get turned on, and strippers don't connect with you; not really. I knew one that did, but it was such a random thing. There was another stripper that was obviously attracted to me, but when I asked him to dance with me in the club proper, he told me that if his other customers saw him dancing with me, they'd be miffed, and he'd lose money, so he couldn't afford it. That pretty much turned me off to strippers. Plus most of the ones I've seen backstage are coked up, which, to me, seems to imply that, most of the strippers I've met, don't really enjoy their work, so what's the fricking point? Ca$h. That's what. And that doesn't interest me. It's so shallow.

So I bided my time the best way I knew how. I talked to people. I love meeting people, and talking to people, and I'm not shy about it, which usually provides me with a lot of pleasure. I met a hot, older black guy named Anthony, who had been in London that morning; he works for an airline. He was charming, and attractive, and we had a great conversation. Later I when I was dancing (during an intermission to the contest) I noticed this guy, who I thought was a great dancer; and he was really cute. Later, while standing at the bar, chatting with Anthony some more, I also started up conversation with the dancer boy, who's name was Justin. He was 24; Anthony was 36 or 38; I want to say 38. We were all talking, and having fun. I was strongly attracted to Justin, but he mentioned that he was moving to New York on Sunday, which bummed me out. While I was talking to Anthony, Justin got Jeremy's phone # and then called him to give him his phone #, which made me even more bummed, and jealous. I wasn't having fun. But I was a trooper. I asked Justin how he knew Jeremy and he said that he'd just met him (or so I thought). He asked me if I knew him and I said yes, and when he asked me how, I told him that we had been lovers, and that Jeremy was really good in bed.

The contest finally ended; sadly this isn't the last one, as Jeremy told me he thinks they will be a continued Club Divine staple. They bring out a crowd, and I'm assuming the bar makes a lot more money when a show is going on. I told Jeremy that I had seen Justin dancing and I thought he was cute. Jeremy said he was trying to figure out where he knew Justin from; said he worked at Bennigan's. Apparently when Justin called Jeremy to give him his #, it popped up on his phone as "Justin" so he knew that he had gotten his phone # before. None of this was helping me feel any better...

Later I danced with Justin. It was hot. The eye contact between us was...hot. While I was dancing with him, the image of Jeremy fucking him popped into my head, and that was (surprisingly) hot too. I saw Jeremy head into the mens room. I followed, and told him what I'd been thinking and he thought that was hot too. I was standing behind him at a urinal and started kissing his ear and neck. He said I was going to get him in trouble, and I said that I really was. He kissed me and headed back out. We talked about how hot Justin was, and I mentioned his ass, and Jeremy said he hoped to see it in person before Justin moved to New York. But since the image of them together now turned me on, it didn't bother me like before. I was having a good time.

I went back and danced with Justin some more, until it was time to close the bar. Somewhere along the way I learned I'd misheard Justin earlier and that he'd met Jeremy last week. I told him that Jeremy couldn't remember when he'd met him, and that he should tell him, as it was driving him crazy, which made him laugh. I think he was more flattered that Jeremy kind of remembered him, and wanted to remember him, than he was upset that Jeremy didn't remember him completely. He was cute like that. We both went over to Jeremy to say our goodbyes. I got a hug from Jeremy. I didn't see Anthony anywhere. I was leaning against the bar, and was kind of between Jeremy & Justin. I told Justin about the image I'd had of Jeremy fucking Justin. I just couldn't hold anything back that night, and it made me feel really good, if a bit odd. But I'm used to feeling odd. They didn't seem to mind me being there, so I stayed. I said goodnight to Jeremy, as we were being hearded to the doors. I walked ahead so Justin could say goodbye to Jeremy. And then we were outside the bar, and it was time to say goodbye.

Only we didn't. The eye contact was back. And we talked. And he was funny, and could carry a conversation, which I complimented him on. There was a really strong attraction there, at least on my part. I suddenly asked him if I could kiss him, and he said no. My face kind of fell, as I felt I'd just crossed a line, or said something really stupid. But he was just kidding with me! lol And soon we were kissing. A great kiss by the way. I liked his lips. I liked a great deal about him. And he soon revealed that he liked a great deal about me. It sucked though, because I knew he was moving on Sunday, and that he'd most likely be busy this whole week. He was having a going away party on Thursday, and invited me & Jeremy while we were in the bar, and he'd gotten my phone #.

He was walking home, and I was parked in the other direction. I was rambling outloud saying that this sucked, and that since we didn't know each other that well, he'd probably not be comfortable going somewhere to talk with me. He asked me why he'd be uncomfortable with that. I made it formal, and asked him if he'd like to go somewhere to talk, to which he said yes, and off we went.

We talked about many things, as we walked to where my car was parked. I got his full name. Justin Charles House. His birhtday is April 24, 1982. That makes him almost exactly 11 years younger than Mark, who's birthday is April 23, 1971. Mark later told me that Justin shares a birthday with our friend Don Wright, while Justin informed me that it's the same birthday as Barbara Streisand. When I first asked Justin for his full name & birthday he asked me if I was stealing his identity, and I told him that it was for the dedication to the poem that I would be writing. I'd told Justin & Jeremy that I'd be writing a poem about them; about the hot sex I imagined them having. We talked about his move to New York. He's going to work on Broadway. He told me that he was sad to be moving, because he had a lot of people that he's just geting close to, and family and stuff, but he's going there to make a career out of something he loves.

When we got to my car, we just stood there talking. I sometimes sat on the car, and still we talked. There were times when we were almost kissing, and then we'd start talking about something else. It was a lot of fun, and I was liking everything that I was hereing about him. I asked him if he wanted to sit in the car, as I wanted to lean back and relax. He said sure. And we talked for awhile longer.

It was after 3am now. I asked him what he had to do that day (as it was now Monday morning) and he said that all he had to do was get some sleep and work at 6pm. I told him I could drive him home, but that I'd really like it if he came home with me. I told him that I didn't want our conversation to end, as this might be our only chance to have this, and I was really enjoying it. He said he really enjoyed it too, and he'd come home with me. I told him that we could drop by his house to get him some clothes, as we were both very sweaty from the bar, but he said he didn't have any clean clothes, as he was about to do all his laundry. He has 5 roomies; all women. I told him that if worst came to worst he could wear some of mine.

He knew exactly where we were going, which was good, because I didn't want him to think I was taking him to the middle of nowhere; I wanted him to be comfortable. He was. The conversation just flowed so freely; it was great. He told me he thought my eyes were beautiful. He has blue eyes too. Same as me and Jeremy. All of us J's too. And he has a sibling with a J name too! That's so funny.

When we got to the condo, I gave him a very short tour, and then we both used the bathroom, which was the major reason I wanted to come home in the first place. I was very tired, as I'd been awake for nearly 24 hours, but I was also very awake, and enjoying our time together. He said he felt exactly the same way. He complimented me on at least as many things as I complimented him, and I think we both meant everything we said, which was nice. He's 8 years younger than me, but I felt like we were the same age, and he said that he got that too.

He told me about his previous sexual experiences, and who he had dated, and why they broke up, and I told him about some of mine. I told him about Jeremy, though I vagued a lot of it up, out of respect for Jeremy. I told him I love Jeremy. I didn't really hold anything back from him, that people would expect me too, and he seemed to respect that, which turned me on. I told him about my eating disorder, and physical maladies. And there was this sharing of thoughts and feelings, and it was all respectful, and given & taken freely. There was a bond forming that wasn't expected, but was greatly appreciated. He told me that he was very into monogamy, and that he'd never just gone home with anyone before. He said that he was usually very shy, and that he usually didn't talk enough. He said that he didn't usually like his picture taken. I never would have known any of that, because he didn't seem shy, and he didn't have trouble talking with me, and he didn't mind me taking his picture, as I took several; none of them are naughty, so don't ask for them! lol There were a lot of first times that night, as we mentioned more than once.

I felt gross in my clothes from the bar, and I told him I wanted to take a shower, and I asked him if he wanted to take one and he said yes. I asked if he wanted to take one with me, and he said yes. His smile was great. The shower was great. And I know this probably sounds weird, but while the shower was sexual, it was also just, genuinely friendly, and just fun, and relaxed. Erections were had, and commented on. Everything was commented on. It was just...fun. And it didn't have to be more than that...

Back in my room we just sort of sprawled on my bed, naked, and talked some more. lol We talked about how the whole night had been really random, and how this felt like a slumber party or something, which amused us both. We talked, and talked, and talked. And then there was kissing. Lots of kissing. What a great kisser he was. And he liked the way I kissed too. There was a whole connection of kissing. It was sexual, but it was innocent at the same time, if that makes any sense? The kissing eventually made way for more intense sexual play, but even when things got heavy, there was still conversation. And there was no rush to orgasm. It was like orgasms were the last things on our minds, and we were just happy to BE. There. With each other. We talked about that too, and we were completely on the same page. I told him there had been times when I'd just hooked up with people for sex, and nothing more, but that I thought that it had more to do with where I'd been emotionally at the time, than anything else, and that emotional place, was a very bad place. He seemed to really like that; said I was the first person that he'd heard acknowledg that, and he agreed.

I could right all the sexual details here. It would be easy for me to call them up in detail, but I'm not going to. We had sex, and it was great. And I wish we could have more conversations, and sex, but I'm not sure that's possible. He told me that I have to visit him in New York, and I figure he's going to visit people back here in Michigan as well, but who knows if any of that will ever happen? I don't. But I do know that I don't regret a single thing that happened with him. I'm very grateful for the time we had together, and I hope I'll always remember it.

There were a couple times where we slept, and then we'd start again. It was so relaxed, and so natural. There was so much kissing...and communication wise, we were just amazingly open, and clear. It felt like we'd been lovers for years, only everything was new...wow. We were still going at it, when it was time for Mark to get up for work. I told him that since Mark & I share a car, I'd have to drive Mark to work, so that I could have the car to drive him home.

I got Mark out of bed. I told him I had a friend over; he assumed it was Jeremy. Justin and I got dressed. There was a lot of kissing. And though I should have been exhausted, I wasn't. Justin later said that he felt the same. Mark needed to go to some banks, and asked me to come in with him, so we could see what was up with my account. They had actually charged me 5 over fees, which devoured my latest check, and still left me owing them $170.00!!!! How crazy is that? We got them to waive the latest fee, and I paid them, but that left me with no cash for groceries, but Mark said I could get $50.00 out of his account for that.

It was around 10am, when we finally got Mark to work. He took a picture of Justin and I, before he headed in. Justin & I were finally headed out to his place. I had mentione earlier that I was hungry, and he was hungry now, so he suggested we get something to eat. I stopped and got the money from the bank (the ATM was closed so I had to go in, and ended up getting $80.00 because of a mix-up in which I thought I was being clever, but it turned out I was completely retarded, and barely escaped a horrible fate. don't ask.). We went to Jimmy Johns, where I'd never been before. I got a sub; I'd never had one before. I got a sub with turkey breast, tomatos, lettice, bacon & mayo on it. I'd never had mayo or turkey before. It was pretty good, but I remembered that I hadn't taken my prilosec so I didn't eat much of it, for fear of throwing up. lol But it was cool to eat something new with him, because he knew it was all new, and he was cool with it. ;-0)

I saved the sandwich for later. I drove Justin home and there was another kiss goodbye, and another picture. He was so tired, and we'd spent as much time together as we could... And our goodbye was short and sweet. I drove to Hollywood Video to pick up my lunch that I'd left at work the night before. I took the last 4 pictures in my roll of film (Bryan, Bryan, Bryan & DJ, and the store front with my car), then dropped off the film, headed home, and took a nap.

While I slept, I put the Pet Shop Boys song "Luna Park" on repeat, at a low volume. I dreamt that I was at an amusement park with Justin. Jeremy was there, as was Mollie, and my older sister and her kids. Mark was there. Many men that I've dated or had crushes on were there, and everyone was happy. It was night time, and the clouds in the night sky were a dark purple that was very beautiful. Jeremy was walking with me & Justin. Justin & I were holding hands, and kissing, a lot, just as we had a few hours before. Jeremy seemed to like this; it made him happy to see us happy. We were all happy for each other. Eventually the dream became more surreal and sad, as the storm clouds really poured it down on us, with warm rain and angry heat lightning. People were leaving the park, but Justin and I resisted this...we stood in the storm and made out like crazy. When I woke up I thought about how cool the guy in the dream was, and then realized he was real, and I smiled.

I'd been asleep for about 2 hours. I got up and started getting dressed to go get my pictures. Mollie called me to let me know she wouldn't be able to see me on my bithday, as she now had to work. She was really upset about this, and I would have been too, except that I don't really care if I see anyone on my birthday now that I know I'm planning on this party, probably in September, where I'll hopefully get to see tons of people ;-0) I was on the phone so long with Mollie that I almost didn't make to the photo place in time to pick up my pictures. They were a good mix of pix; a few of me; a couple of Mark & Mollie; several from work, and several of Justin. I picked up Mark from work; my new scanner had arrived. We went to Meijer for some groceries; came home; set up the new scanner, and then I went to bed, around 8pm. I woke up around 10pm and considered going to Necto for goth night and new pictures, but decided I needed the sleep. I went back to sleep, without really trying, and woke up 7:30am, Tuesday morning!

I started writing in my blog, but stopped after a few hours to eat. I ate. I had more of my sandwich from Jimmy Johns. It all so new to me that I can't eat too much of it at once, but I enjoy eating it, even though it's very strange. I had an apple, and some yogert. I then realized I wanted to do some recording and work on a special project. That took most of the day, even though I didn't get it finished; I got lots done.

When Mark got home, we went to a local school and voted. It was fun. When we got home, I showed him some of the cool stuff I figured out on the computer. I'm working with a lot of new tech, and it's frustrating not knowing what I'm doing, and yet it's really cool, so it's really strange at times.

My back has been killing me. I'm hoping that it is in fact my back though and not one of my kidnys. I don't want another kidney stone. I don't want anything of the kind. lol

I worked on some more stuff, and went to the Aut Bar, really briefly, then came home and started writing this. I'm going to bed in a few minutes; I'm really tired. There are probably a lot of typos in this post.

It's now Adam Hess's birthday. Happy Birthday Adam!!!

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:55 AM
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