Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Have you ever gone out with a loser? Like...a deranged person? And you want to give them the benefit of the doubt, but then they're just playing with you? It seems to happen to me again and again. It doesn't seem to bother me anymore, which I suppose could be bad, but I feel in my case that it's probably very good.

Luke called again. This time he claimed to be in Ann Arbor. He said he really wanted to talk to me. That maybe we could hang out and talk. I'd been worried about him since the call yesterday in which he seemed to be crying... But I had work to do, and I didn't really feel like going out. Also, he sounded really stoned. But I figured it wouldn't hurt to get outside for a little while. I knew I didn't want him at the condo. He said he was wandering around by East Quad, which is next to Pizza House so I told him to meet me there. I showered and drove out there; not dressing up or shaving or anything I would have done if it was something other than a random in-person conversation. But he wasn't there when I got there. I called him, and he said he was 2 minutes away. I got a table. I called him again after 5 minutes and he didn't answer his phone; I left a message saying if he wasn't there in 10 minutes that I would leave. I called Mollie, and I knew as I was calling her that I was being stood up again. I told her the story, and we laughed at the sheer absurdity of this boy's behavior! And I feel for it again, which should leave me angry or hurt or something...and I just don't care anymore. Plus I wanted to leave as the waitress for my table is an utter bitch. So I ended up not even staying for the 10 minutes I said I'd wait. I called him again as I was leaving to tell him that I had left and that if he was watching, or at home or whatever that he had provided me with a moment's amusement and I came home. lol

This is my life sometimes. I try to give people more than one chance. And he always seems sincere when he calls, and makes plans. I think he must get off on people making plans with him, and then not following through on it. I don't know why. I don't really care why. I just know he's completely fucked in the head. I feel bad for him. I know that he does this to other people too. It will never happen to me again. I can only go so far...you know? This last time wasn't painful or worth getting upset about. Sure, I took time out to try to help a guy who didn't even show up, and maybe never intended to, but it was a really nice night for a drive, and then a walk. I enjoyed leaving the bitch waitress without ordering anything. I got to laugh with Mollie, and later Mark, about the whole thing. And got all of that while trying to do something good. He's an ass, but I've lost nothing. I'm really proud of myself. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:07 PM
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