Bald Jason's Musings
Thursday, February 28, 2008
I got some work done on my room today. I'm starting to run out of room for pictures. I'm really happy with how this project is coming along. I didn't get as much done today as I had hoped, but I planned a lot of it out.
I'm reading 'Prince Caspian' now. I had meant to take a break from Narnia, but now I think I should read all the books and be done with it. It's not that they're terrible; they're just kind of silly. I have 57 pages left in that one.
I talked to Michael briefly on the phone. I got to watch Torchwood with Mark. I left Mollie a message. And I burned 4 or 5 discs for Mollie, which took forever. I'm about to start another one, which will prevent me from using the computer.
Since I wasn't going to be able to use the computer, I hopped on to gay.com to see if Michael was chatting. He wasn't, but Mat was there and I said hello to him. But then this guy that I used to know, mostly in passing, said hello to me. His name is Tom, and I met him through Donnie & Dean, though apparently he also knows Carrie and Adam. Well, he moved away back in 2005, and I had just asked about him, because I hadn't seen him around and I rather liked seeing him around, but I was kind of a dick at the time. Well, when I heard he was leaving and that he'd kind of had a bad time of it here, I decided to write something for him, which I then tried to send him, but it never reached him...but as soon as I knew it was him I was talking to I told him that I had written about him back then, and I e-mailed him a copy, which he liked. So that's a really good ending to a mostly good day (my stomach was bothering me earlier). The poem I wrote Tom years ago isn't on my website, as I never finished any art for hit, but I'll repost it here:
MISSED
Two or three times I spoke your name,
Though never for long,
we spoke just the same...And I was an ass before each goodbye...
But I was just nervous,
though I can't tell you why.You are actually gorgeous,
square shoulders; compact,
with great looking eyes,
strong thighs; all of that...But your smile
& manner
& the look that you gave...You made me so nervous;
and somehow, afraid.I fucked it all up...
Each time that we spoke.I was so messed up then;
And then... "That's all he wrote."And I regretted each time,
and I never told you...Though I once had a dream
where you once let me hold you...But the dream was just laughter,
and the truth is what matters,
and the truth is I'm sorry
and I want you to know...That your smile was sunlight,
Your manner was just right,
But my bullshit was more than I could let go.Your seemingly delicate,
meaningfully circumspect,
flick of your eyes made me stutter and leave...But it wasn't disinterest,
it wasn't just meaningless,
and I pray my confession is heard & believed.For looking back now,
I was stupid and wrong...I was struck by your beauty...
Vulnerable...
Strong.And I heard you were leaving,
And I hope when you're gone...You'll remember my shame,
and that I took the blame for not treating you
just as you deserved
to be
TomWritten By Jason Wright
MAY 20, 2005For Tom
I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner,
but I just never saw you again.Be Happy!
Bald Jason
posted by Bald Jason at 12:05 AM
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