Tuesday, November 1, 2005

Work was lame & tired Sunday night; Andrea was amusing me, but she went home an hour early. blah. Ernest dropped by and told me about a band named Birthday Massacre, which sounded really good; he said he'd burn me a copy, which was kind of unexpected, but a nice surprise. Mollie wasn't up for a trade off on Nip/Tuck, so I just kept the disc I had and rented "Heights" which was pretty good.

Monday morning (Halloween) I had a hard time getting to sleep, and my stomach was upset; I think it was because I had some lemonheads at work. When I did finally get to sleep, I slept a lot. I woke up a couple of times with my stomach in knots, but besides that I was all about the sleeping. I got up for good around 6pm, ate, said hello to Mark, took a shower, headed to Hollywood to return Heights & check to see if they had anymore Nip/Tuck for Mollie (they didn't). I dressed up for the trip because I thought I might go to Necto, but I when it came time to go I didn't really want to; my heart just wasn't in it tonight. I gave Mollie the 4th Nip/Tuck disc in exchange for the 3rd, let her have the Slayers that had arrived for her; we chatted for awhile and then I came home. I got undressed and read for awhile; took a nap. I played some games, and read some more, and then I watched "The Truth About Jane" which had the girl from Dead Like Me in it; it was ok, but it was like a really GAY afterschool special. Probably great for the teenbopper crowd.

There was a flying insect in my room, but I'm not sure where it is now. I'm writing this, in my underwear, drinking caffeine free pepsi. I might watch another movie from my shelf that I haven't seen. I might read some more. I'm looking forward to doing whatever I want today.

I also got my amazon.com/gothboy.com quarterly returns, which came to $75.76; I used it to buy "Heights", "Mysterious Skin", the director's cut of "Alien Vs. Predator" & the 4th season of "Will & Grace".

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:43 AM
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   Friday, November 4, 2005

Tuesday, I tracked down the final discs of Nip/Tuck for Mollie. I read some Trek; watched some Trek; and there was tons more, but I wrote it all out once and then screwed it up - and I don't feel like writing it all out again.

Wednesday. I had trouble sleeping again; acid reflux related me thinks. After work I still couldn't sleep; fell asleep around midnight; woke up around 2am. I watched the Mirror Universe episodes from Enterprise's 4th season, which arrived on Wednesday, along with Episode III; I still haven't watched that on DVD though. I went back to bed after Trek. I've been a little bit late for work a lot lately; nothing horrible, and our labor shortage is probably making it more tolerable for others, but it annoys me just the same.

Thusday; worked with Jeff & Nate most of the shift. Jeff & I had...an incident, but it worked itself out I guess. I watched some of the new Cho dvd on my break, but I decided to rent Charlie & the Chocolate factory. I took a nap after work; ate; played Roller Tycoon, and then finally watched Charlie, which I thought was amusing, and much closer to the book than I expected. It wasn't perfect, but I enjoyed it, and Wonka/Depp was fantastic!

I'm very tired, and I should get some sleep so I can meet Janice later at Grandma's. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:19 AM
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   Saturday, November 5, 2005

Friday, I slept until about 1pm, met Janice, Jillian, Jonathan, Brooke, Grandma, Jamie & Mom out in Milan. It was all good, except that little John John smashed my face with his skull; all in good fun of course. I returned some movies, and headed to Mollie's to say hello, and to rest while my painkiller kicked in. We played a game of clue (Mollie was the killer, and she won the game too), before I left to pick up Mark. On the way to pick up Mark I remembered the dream I'd had earlier, in which Shawn & I ran into each other at a bar, like 10 years from now, and we hadn't spoken to each other in all that time - and we were not happy... it was very dark. And I said to him: "Can we just forget for a little while that you're you, and I'm me - and can we just fuck?" - and we did. Now, this was NOT an erotic dream. It's pretty much the essence of despair, and when I woke up it was just...it was overwhelmingly sad. Remembering the dream in the car, while the sunset, and my painkiller was rushing through me, and listening to fantatasticly trippy music, was surreal.

I picked Mark up from work on time, and we headed home so I could take a nap before going to work at Midnight. Mark kept waking me up, but it wasn't intentional. I got to work early, and the inventory went pretty well I think. I worked from 11:40 or so, to 5:40, without realizing it; I was only scheduled 11-5. We all left together, then I went to Kroger to get some groceries, then came home where I went to sleep.

I feel kind of bad. Someone I work with did something that really pissed me off on Thursday; I almost walked out of work, except that I need the money so I couldn't. I almost called DJ, but it was his birthday & I didn't want to spoil it. And calling anyone higher up would have led to DJ being called, and so that was out of the question. Plus, I didn't want the person fired, so much as given a really strict warning. I decided that I would just talk to the person about it, and I did, and it was taken care of. Except that I got the strong impression that it would most likely happen again. I talked to DJ about it last night, and I told him what I wanted to happen, and DJ seemed extremely shocked that this incident happened - which I thought it was just kind of common knowledge that this sort of thing went on... And Deej seemed to be warming up to firing the person, and I asked him if this was his intent, because I didn't want that, and he said he hadn't decided. If this person is fired, that wasn't my intent. And I feel bad, even though I know that it's not my fault that he pulled that shit. The thing that he did - I don't have a problem with it, except that he did it at work, and if nothing had been said to him, it would have been obvious to anyone who walked in the store what he had been doing. It was just so childish, and irresponsible. And now that I think about it, I'm pissed all over again. It's just something that I should never have to expect at work - and nothing I should ever have to worry about when I'm at work. It's just not cool.

I'm gonna call Mollie in a little while; we're supposed to hang out today and watch massive amounts of tv that Mollie has missed (Nip/Tuck, Drawn Together, Desperate Housewives). It should be fun. Mollie still has a kidney stone though (to the best of my knowledge) so it's possible that she will cancel, and if so then I completely understand. We talked about maybe having Adam & Carrie over too if they were free so we could play the Desperate Housewives game.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:52 PM
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   Sunday, November 6, 2005

Mollie, Adam, & Carrie just left. Mollie came over around 5:30 or 6pm. We watched an episode of Nip/Tuck, then an episode of Drawn Together, then another Nip/Tuck. Then we invited Carrie & Adam over to play the Desperate Housewives game (Carrie & I tied) and then the LOTR Movie Trivia game, which Mollie won. That last game just went on & on - and Mollie was in some pain; I gave her 2 midrin, but she said they didn't help. I don't usually give those out to people because I have to go to the doc to get them and I'm broke - but Mollie would have done the same for me.

I'm tired, but wired, and I don't know what I'm going to do now. Maybe I'll read. I should have showed Carrie those Trek books. Matt from Bowling Green called while we were playing, so maybe I should call him back.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:32 AM
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   Tuesday, November 8, 2005

I don't think I mentioned before that when Mollie left on Saturday she borrowed the first 2 season of Enterprise, which she was willing to watch because she's got a huge thing for Scott Bakula. Anways, on Sunday I finally got some down time, and really got to relax before work. I started watching the 3rd Season of Enterprise. I have only seen it once before & I remembered liking it, but it's even better this time, as it's serialized storytelling is even better when viewed over a shorter period of time ;-0) Work was pretty slow, and non-eventful, except that I sliced my left hand open on a candy rack, while stocking the soda cooler. It was also the last night that I will be closing with Ben as his last day is tomorrow. He will be helping out around Thanksgiving and Christmas I guess, but his days at Hollywood are numbered.

I was at work again on Monday, with very little rest between the shifts, but even though I felt like I'd been there for years, the shift actually went by fairly quickly, excpet - and this is where it gets kind of darkly comical - I cut my left thumb open with a razor blade (there was a lot of blood) and then I later scraped my right arm open on the sale through rack! I was just not having a good time. lol But I was laughing about it and so were my coworkers so it wasn't horrible exactly. My left hand (given the combined injuries) hurt like hell though.

Bryan's having a birthday party on Saturday; Mark, Mollie, Adam, Carrie & I are all invited. I've already expressed my frustration to Mollie & Bryan for not being able to get them gifts (Mollie's birthday is Sunday); but they know me and they understand that I'm broke. It still sucks for me though. ;-0( I would love to get them both the dvd sets of "Drawn Together" or "Dark Shadows" for Mollie.

After work on Monday I slept for several hours, and a while after I woke up, around 3am, Mark came into my room, still awake, and wanting to buy a $1600 tv. It's a really kick ass price; there's no denying that; we simply don't have the money to spend right now. I hope he saves his card for the tv set later, rather than buying a camera with it as he suggested, because that's what the card was for, and I think in the long run it would make him happier. We also talked about money stuff; doctors dentists, and gothzone - which looks like it will probably be shut down. It's too bad really, because not only did we get wholesale stuff through that place - I also believe he would eventually get it going to a profitable conclusion. But we don't have the money or the energy right now - and a store just wouldn't be a wise choice right now either. I think the closing of gothzone is a wise choice, and a somewhat noble one. I respect Mark more than he can know for his business savy, and in this decision even more so than in his other ones.

I slept for a glorious amount of time today. I woke up around 2:30pm, and I felt really good. I noticed Mollie called so I called her back, and she had tried to make an appointment to get rid of her current kidney stone and they told her the earliest she can get in is in early December!?! And she's either out or very low on pain pills, which she apparently would have to go back to the emergency room to get a refill for!?! What the fuck!?! I'm so angry about this, though I tried to stay calm with Mollie on the phone, because my yelling isn't going to help her...unless I yell at the right people. lol

Mollie & I talked about Enterprise, and it was great to talk Trek with her again. Mollie doesn't like Star Trek, but she loves Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. If that sounds weird, than you probably don't know Trek very well, because Deep Space Nine, even while being very entrenched in Star Trek lore (indeed it is in many ways, the best of all the Treks), it is atypical in that the characters are more developed, and the continuity is so rich, and it's mostly staitionary as opposed to all the other ship based series. Anyways, the first 2 seasons of Enterprise are a mixed bag, which I feel are MOSTLY crap. If you combined all the good & great episodes from the 2 seasons, you might have a good season, but that's all you'd have. The show improves exponentially beginning with the final few episodes of the 2nd season. From that point on, it's mostly one giant story, instead of a bunch of crappy random ones. The characters really grow, and the continuity kicks in like mad, and suddenly the show is a lot more like DS9 than Next Generation. I think she will really enjoy the final 2 seasons, and I'm going to enjoy this while it lasts.

After talking with Mollie, I answered e-mail, and there was a TON of it today. I've been having a lot of discussions in a lot of yahoo groups lately on topics about Slash Art, Dick Size Humiliation - and a great deal more subjects just as diverse. lol And then I decided that I better update my blog. I have tomorrow off as well, and I can't tell you how relaxing that is for me. It's really great.

Ooh - last night I also worked on my webpage a bit, which I don't do nearly as often as I would like. I added a page for my fairly new friend Jonathan (my ex-boyfriend's boyfriend!), and while I don't have any pictures posted yet, I did set up a surprise for him, which will hopefully help him out. Last time I saw him he told me that he had never seen a gay themed movie in which one of the gay characters didn't die of AIDS during the film - thereby destroying the gay love story. I put up some links to random gay movies that I thought he might enjoy. That way he can try renting them, possibly buy them, or just watch them with me & Shawn sometime. ;-0) I also started a page for Solomon & Janella, though I don't have any info on it yet.

So things are good today. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:13 PM
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   Thursday, November 10, 2005

I've watched a lot of Enterprise in the last 24 hours. I've finished the 3rd Season, which actually made me cry several times. The show is so good at this point that I'm getting angry again, realizing that it's been less than a year since the series was cancelled. It pisses me off. I'm starting the 4th Season, which I should hopefully finish before Mollie needs it; she is most likely already several episodes into the 2nd season. If I'm not done before she needs more, at least I'll have the 3rd season to offer; and I hope that grows to enjoy the show as much as Adam, Carrie, Mark & did during it's final 2 seasons.

I (again) noticed a flaw in the final 3rd Season episode (and I don't mean the retarded ending, which is less annoying now than it was the first time); T'Pol reports in her log that it's 2152. The year in question is 2154 - I know it was probably just a screw up after a year filled with continuity (DS9 had a mix-up with dates once that was very similar) - but it could be explained away by T'Pol's recent traumatics, or even as a headsup to eagle-eyed viewers that something just isn't right. I don't remember enough of the next 2 episodes to really say for sure; what I remember is that after the 2 episodes were over - so was the Temporal Cold War storyline, and the show's new head writer (Manny Coto) was free to move on in a series of great Trek episodes. ;-0)

I would like to get some writing done in the near future. I need to go grocery shopping sometime soon; maybe after work? I work 1pm-5:30pm and then I have Friday & Saturday off. The final season of Friends should be arriving at the store tomorrow, if it hasn't already - I want to watch it, but I want to watch Enterprise more. We'll so how that plays out. I want to find time to work out this week. I want to get more done on my webpage, and I want to spend time with my friends. I guess that I want a lot.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:15 AM
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   Friday, November 11, 2005

So, I was reading my friends' blogs on livejournal.com, and I got updates on Mollie and Carrie, who are some of my oldest friends. There are also people, whom I've met that I'm not really friends with exactly, who've allowed me to read their blogs over the years, but because I'm not close with these people per say, I feel kind of like a Peeping Tom, sorting through their daily lives; like I'm a stalker or something. It's weird. A lot of the time, it's a complete surprise, and I get all these feelings I didn't expect... which can be good or bad, and sometimes both. When I'm reading the stuff posted by friends, it doesn't feel that way because I know them so well, so I'm not really shocked or surprised; I "get" them, you know? Anyway...

I met this really cute boy at Industrial Night at Necto back in April. I had mistaken him for someone else, and then realized that he was not who I thought he was, because he was in fact, way cuter. It was a fun moment, and a good night of dancing & laughter was had. Understand, I only talked to him for like a second, until we were leaving the bar & I spoke to him and his friends again briefly. Even then I felt like I was kind of intruding - but he was so cute that I was just...compelled. lol. I said goodnight, and was walking to my car, when I saw him watching me leave, and it was, again - adorable. There was the wonderful little crash into a sign post, and the cuteness of the whole thing snapped into place, and I knew I was going to write about him.

I've not been writing about much in the last 2 years. I'm just not inspired by much lately I guess. But on my way home I realized I didn't even know his full name, or how I'd get the poem to him, (which I hate) so I showered and went back out to find him and his friends at the Fleetwood. I talked to him again briefly and I was all kinds of nervous, which rarely happens to me, and that was fun too. I've never actually seen him again in person. I've talked with him online a few times, and that's been nice. We've talked about our attraction, and lust and blah blah blah... But between the time he went home for his school break, and the time that he got back much had changed for him; he came out to his family and he had a boyfriend. I was a bit disappointed; well - a lot disappointed, but I was happy for him too, and I figured that if we were just friends that would be fine.

He & the boy broke up, and we had plans to hang out, but he cancelled, and that was fine too. And he let me read his blog, which he posts in very sporadically - so I'm alwasy surprised when I see something new from him, and I find it odd because I've only seen him the one time. But what's coming through loud and clear is that he still has feelings for the ex-boyfriend - he's clearly in love him still - which is just so sweet, and so...achingly familiar that I find myself wanting to reach out to him and support him, and be some kind of friend, but I don't really know him - so I don't. I just read his life as it flashes across my screen, and I feel for him, which is something I guess. It's really strange. But I end up feeling like a creepy voyeur, because I don't even know if I'm welcome, you know?

Now. I haven't been in love with anyone in years. When I was very, very young I had really big crushes on a series of men, and I know that there were at least two that I loved deeply. Later in life I fell in love with even more. Even when I wasn't falling in love, I was activly lusting after numerous men, and none of that is really happening now. Part of that was by choice - I realized that I had never really been single, and I thought it might be interesting. But part of it is just chance or fate or whatever; I just haven't met anyone that I really like all that much. There were a few boys that I'd carried torches for...for years, and that was kind of comforting, only all of those lights have been put out by cold hard facts.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that I envy this guy; his name is Bob. He's really cute, and he's young and going to school and all of that - and these are not things that I envy in people; I just don't, because they don't really matter to me the way that they seem to matter to others. But he's in love, or seems to be - he longs, and he desires, and that's something that I've lost somehow. I don't know if this would comfort him at all, but the lack of those feelings (though they can seem overwhelming, and painful, and sad), is in some ways worse than the consequences of having the feelings themselves.

I don't wish for love, and that's another thing that I'm starting to understand about myself - this little experiment of mine, though at times frightening, as been enlightening. But I Want the Wanting back.

And I want Bob to know that I feel for him; not as a prospective lover or whatever - but as a person. He's hot & everything, and my dick does notice him, but I wouldn't want to fuck up anything for him; I wouldn't even want to try, or whatever. And if we ever did hang out sometime, which I don't assume to be a given, I'll be looking at him a bit differently now. He's cute, but his wanting inspires me. It thrills me to see it alive and well in the world. And I want him to know that I want him to be ok, and happy, and I would really like to be his friend.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:39 AM
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   Tuesday, November 15, 2005

The weekend went by fairly painlessly. I chatted Friday night at gay.com for the first time in what seems like ages. I chatted Patrick, and this guy Mike who went out with Patrick once; they both love X-Men & stuff (ok, ok - Emma - whatever), and I thought they'd get along famously - but apparently it didn't work out for them. Too bad. I got privated by Madam Adam - City Club Adam - Ferndale Adam. Adam Cadaver. Adam Extended Play. I had a huge crush on him for 3 years; I eventually slept with him (in the presence of Jennifer, Tracy & Darla - who were having fun themselves); I'd just broken up with Mark and he was being a dick at the time, and I got the most drunk I've maybe ever been in my entire life. We haven't seen each other in years - I don't have a crush on him now, and I just think of him as an old friend. ;-0) It was great chatting with him, and I e-mailed his addy to Jennifer, Paul & Tracy. That was great.

Patrick is really depressed; like super depressed, and I'm really worried about him. I'm still attracted to him, but instead of me being fucked up this time (which prevented me from dating before) this time he's the one that's messed up, and I don't think a relationship is a good idea right now. He's so cute, and so special (not retarded special!) and he just doesn't see it. He's obsessed with shallow people and thinks there aren't any "deep" gay people, which is far from true, but of course you wouldn't know that if all the gay people you meet are at a crappy gay bar. I hope he'll be ok, and he's in my thoughts.

Saturday I slept all day. Then I went to Mollie's and gave her more Enterprise, and a b-day card (her b-day was Sunday); then Mark & I went to Bryan's birthday bash. Bryan, Chris, Solomon, Janella, Heidi, Jeff, Sarah, Matt, Joe, Nate, Scott, Lauren, DJ, Dan, Pat, Tonya, and some other peeps were there; I had fun; I got stoned; and everything went very smoothly.

Sunday I worked 7-close, and I was early, and I was just kicking ass. Ironic because mine was practically showing!?! The crotch of my pants was ripped out and I didn't realize it till I went on my break around 9:30pm. I'm sure no one saw anything, because they'd have to be at a really odd angle; I'd have to have straddled them - lol, which I didn't - so it was all good - it was just so funny; I went home and changed. The night was uneventful. I saw Heidi, Andrea and Nate - it was lots of fun, actually.

I rented Happy Endings - which was really good. I went to bed around 9am, and slept till about 4pm. I ate, and I showered. Later I decided I'd go to the Necto after returning my movies so I shaved and showered again - saw Matt & Heidi at Hollywood - went home because I forgot my cash, and then headed to the bar.

I danced a lot. I ran into Angela from detroitgothic.net. I met Jeremy, who was dancing barechested without being gross. I met Jim, 35 year old gay man from Saline. I met yummy girlfriend having Shawn/Sean? He was nice, and a friend of Colin's apparently. I saw Paul & Amy (who has a girlfriend now); Paul had facial hair. There was a guy downstairs who looked like Franklin, only butch and he said he found my webpage, and apparently we met on Pride night a few months ago, which I now remember, though I don't remember his name. I hope he e-mails me; he seemed really intersting. I also saw Becky, Scott & Travis, which was a treat; I love those guys. DJ Jinx (Dan) was on hand, as was Vince, and we had a hot dance, which made his cute friend with Dreds smile really big. ;-0) lol It was a lot of fun. Mike from Meijer/City Club was there and he looks good now; grown up and all. He said that my old manager Michelle is back at Meijer and that she's his manager now. Maybe I could track her down and say hellow; I haven't seen her in like 6 years.

Anyways. I should get some sleep or something. I feel really good about going to Necto; I've been eating a lot lately and not getting any exercise, and just feeling kind of slimey. lol But I'm all buzzed from the dancing now - and a bit exhausted, all at once.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:50 AM
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   Thursday, November 17, 2005

Wednesday morning, I felt weird. I couldn't get comfortable, and I was warm. I had a fever. I called in to work; DJ said he'd call Nate, and I told DJ that I could work the Saturday Shift that he asked me about on Tuesday, which is 10-6pm, though he says I could probably leave by 5 or earlier if I want to. Working that shift gives me more hours than I would have if I'd not called in, and not taken the shift, so that works out. And I covered 2 full shifts for Nate a few weeks ago, so if he covered my sift I don't have to feel guilty about that, so that's a huge relief. I always feel a tiny bit of guilt when I call into work at Hollywood. I've never had that anywhere else that I've worked because all the other places I worked...I despised. Hollywood is like a family though, only cool.

The day went by slowly. I did eventually sleep, and when I woke my fever seemed to be gone. I later ate, and watched the first Harry Potter movie with Mark. Mark had told me that he's been enjoying reading again; he's been reading the 4th Harry Potter movie for months, trying to finish it before seeing the movie; he only has a chapter or two to go. He said he wanted to take a break from reading Harry Potter, but not reading in general, mentioning a Stainless Steel Rat book I bought for him years ago. But while watching the movie, Mark said that he might start reading the Harry Potter books from the beginning and read them all. He's only read the 3rd & the 4th volumes; both in preperation for seeing the movies in theaters. That would be neat, because we could talk about the books - even though he has very different reactions to them than I do.

Before the movie was over I did something I now, mostly regret. I baked 6 chocolate chip cookies. I used to eat chocolate chip cookies all the time. I haven't been able to have chocolate for more than 4 years, which usually isn't as horrible as it would seem. 4 Years ago, the acid reflux that had plagued me (and my family as well) grew out of control for me. I gave up caffeine & orange juice and all sorts of other things that I enjoyed eating and drinking. I do drink the chocolate flavored High Protein Boost, but that doesn't seem to bother me for some reason; I'm guessing the concentration of caffeine is much lower than in Nestle chocolate.

Anyways, Monday night while at Kroger I bought one of these chocolate chip cookie dough things, because lately I've been having a HUGE chocolate craving, and I thought if I only had a couple and tossed the rest out, I'd probably be ok. Well, I ate 5 cookies in 12 hours; I slept from around 11pm-3am. The cookies were so delicious...but...I've been throwing up all day, and I've had diharea so bad that my asshole is on fire! Pretty sexy huh? I guess the moral of the story is that chocolate is not better than sex for Jason.

Mark asked me if it was maybe worth it, and I told him the cookies were really good, and that if I ever have the craving again, that I'd maybe try just having one. But then again, maybe I just won't give in. Maybe I'll be stronger next time? But this is seriously the first time in 4 years that I've had any, and that's pretty good.

So I have today off; which is nice, because I'd hate to have to call in again, and though I don't have a fever, as far as I can tell, I'm feeling so much worse than when I did. I watched Episode III on dvd for the first time this morning. And I was again struck by how pointless the first 40 minutes or so really are; there's just nothing to connect with in all of that. I don't feel a damned thing for any of that. I think the only scene in all of that where I come close is Anakin fighting, and killing Count Dooku. There's a nice moment between Anakin & Palpatine at the "opera" which just looks really crappy to me, though the scene makes up for a really annoying plot point in Episode I, though the movie doesn't really get good until Palpatine reveals to Anakin that he is Darth Sideous; after that, almost everything is fantastic. But up until that moment, the movie is a dud. They obviously worked very hard on the effects and such for the opening rescue and everything, but it's all so...empty. I'm not sure why I don't enjoy it, but I just don't. I think that Episode II was a much more balanced film; it's the only Star Wars movie that I don't want to fast forward through, but when Episode III finally gets good - it's better than anything in the other 5 films. Oh - and when one of the Wookies gives that Tarzan yell, it almost makes up for the similar scene in Return Of The Jedi, because it kind of makes it a species trate, instead of a stupid joke...almost.

I wonder how Mollie is feeling? Carrie called me a little while ago to tell me that she loves me, and misses me. That was sweet of her! We talked about maybe going to see Harry Potter next week; she sounded willing to see it tonight at a sneak preview, but I told her I wanted to wait at least until next week, in hopes of seeing it with as few children as possible. We didn't talk long because Carrie doesn't like talking on her cell & driving a the same time, and she was entering a construction zone.

I wonder if Mollie haw watched anymore Enterprise, and how she's enjoying (or has enjoyed) the Xindi arc. She said she was tired of the episodes not relating to each other, and that she was looking forward to seeing the crew do something important, so the final 2 seasons seem designed with her in mind; though the final season is filled with so much continuity from previous Treks that I'm a little worried that she'll miss that stuff, and not find the new episodes entertaining as a result. Though, she seemed excited at the prospect of seeing the 2-parter that explains why the Klingons look different, and which also introduces Section 31 - both plot points that were mentioned or introduced on DS9 - which Mollie loves. I've been thinking about watching the first season of DS9 - but I've been watching other stuff.

Yesterday, when I was feverish - I was trying to watch a movie, but my win.dvd wasn't working - so I watched Desperate Housewives instead. I haven't been watching my tv shows lately because I've been waiting to watch them with Mollie, but I was sick, and I just really wanted to not think about being sick. I then watched all the Nip/Tuck episodes that I've missed - they did not disappoint. But I'm dying/living for the rest of them now!!! I don't think it will bother Mollie overly much that I jumped ahead; I just wish I could give them to her on dvd so she could watch them too.

I'm so exhausted.

They are going to start releasing Teen Titans in Seasonal boxed sets; the first one should be out around February or March of '06. That means nothing, because I already have all of season 1 on DVD. But it will mean more when they release the other seasons in boxed sets. The final boxed set of Batman will be out December 6; as will the 2nd boxed set of Superman. The final boxed set of Superman should be out around June 2006. And now there are rumors that we'll be seeing boxed sets for Batman Beyond, Justice League, and Star Trek: The Animated Series in 2006 as well. That all rocks. I still haven't finished my DCAU episode chronology, but I'm slowly making my way. I've got the first Batman series over half way indexed; when that's done I can start deciding how I prefer to watch them; so far, it looks like the series would best start with "Robin's Reckoning, Parts I & II". Perhaps that will change, but at this point, I doubt it. When I have it figured out I'll post it on my webpage.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:44 PM
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   Monday, November 21, 2005

I went to work on Friday, which was mostly good. I have no clue what I did Friday night. It completely escapes me at the moment. Saturday I was still having trouble sleeping... I worked Saturday from 4pm-9pm. I was going to work 10am-6pm, but Heidi had already taken that shift before it was even offered to me, and we traded, so what little sleep I've been getting wouldn't be denied me. Work went by fairly quickly, and I had a bit of fun.

Saturday night I stopped at Zingerman's with Mark to visit Solomon, but he wasn't there. His friend Randy was. He had once thought about hooking me up with his friend Randy. Turns out that I know Randy. I met Solomon while I was working at Hollywood Video (where I still work). I met Randy around 1998 I think, when Randy was working at the Hollywood Video that I work at now, only I believe it was a VideoWatch back then. lol He had asked me if I knew a Tony Glassman, which I didn't think that I did - only I so did - Tony & I had dated briefly in 1994. Randy asked me if I knew Tony, because they were dating at the time. lol Ironic much? But there's more; when I called Solomon to tell him of this little irony, he was also at Hollywood Video; he just missed me at work, and I just missed him at his work - but I found Randy who I met at Hollywoood years ago. The whole thing just made me giggle.

I watched like 6 episodes of Will & Grace Saturday night, and got several new slash pix that I didn't have yet, which was awesome. I slept around 8 hours on Sunday, which was a nice surprise, and work went by without a hitch. There was one annoying customer, who came in and asked us to check in his movie with him there, because when he drops it in the drop box he always gets a late fee, because we don't check it in on time? Whatever. I explained to him that all the movies in the drop box are checked in before the store is closed so that doesn't happen - but that it's possible that someone had messed up - but that if someone did, it was probably a 1 time thing - he didn't believe. So Nate checked in his movie - and (lol - this is the funny part) - his movie was late. He was getting late fees because his movies were returned late - and not because of the drop box eating them - and we got to tell him this to his face. It made my night. I worked with Heidi, Andrea & Nate - it was all kinds of fun.

I picked up some random things at Kroger after work (including Faygo Red Pop - which I've been enjoying lately); the Amazon card was denied. blah. being broke sucks. I'm home now, obviously. I have to work tomorrow 1-5:30pm. I have Tuesday off, and then I work Wednesday-Friday. hmm.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:16 AM
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   Wednesday, November 23, 2005

I know that Mark's job is more important to our well-being, than mine is; he makes a lot more money than I do, and we're really broke. But when DJ called to see if I could come in early, and Mark said he'd leave at a certain time, and the roads are icy, blah blah blah - and then Mark calls after I've busted my hump getting ready superfast, even though my acid reflux is killing me, and I should iron my work shirt and a million other things I'd have had time for if I knew I was just going to be on time - only to have him call to let me know that he got stuck on the phone at work so all that was for nothing....it pisses me off. It upsets me, when I thought I was going to be early, and make DJ happy, and help out my coworkers, who are apparently swamped. And when I'm pissed off, the acid is worse, and it was already horrible - so horrible that I couldn't sleep - which actually makes it even worse... so I'm really, really unhappy, and if I didn't need to be at work I'd, maybe call in, or I maybe wouldn't... I go all the time when I feel like crap. Erg.

Monday work was fine, but I was so tired. I slept after work, and then went to Necto, but the guy I was looking for wasn't there. He later e-mailed me, and we chatted, and he's going to be there tonight, or he planned to be, and so did I. I don't know if I can make it now - but I'll try.

I slept all day Tuesday; it was fantastic. It's easier for me to sleep in the daytime. I don't know why, but it is. I think I need to change my availability at work again, so I can sleep. Maybe I'll do that today. But I'd miss working with DJ & Bryan all the time. :-0(

I'm gonna go wait by the door for Mark, the way I was when he called. I know it wasn't Mark's fault... but it still puts me in a bad place. And I just want to sleep, without acid eating out my throat.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:35 PM
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   Thursday, November 24, 2005

Work sucked beyond the telling of it yesterday. Disturbing numbers of extremely annoying, deeply stupid people. I had some nice, educated ones thrown in to keep me sane, but some of the others were so horrible. I think Hollywood has mostly spoiled me, what with the majority of my customers being really cool. I sometimes forget what retail really is. But I survived.

I had maybe an hours sleep since 5:30pm on Tuesday. The roads were pretty bad, since our first real snowfall of the year had arrived. My acid reflux was beyond bad; I was almost crying. Then all those people piled on. I was early for work, and stayed late. It was mostly horrible, and I was exhausted by the time I got home. I cancelled my plans for Necto.

I did have one nice surprise waiting for me at home. 2 cds that I'd ordered. I don't order music that often, but I'd heard a couple of songs recently that I really, REALLY liked, and I couldn't get them any other way. I've also been doing a bangup job of saving cash, and these were inexpensive enough to be a nice little reward for myself - I'm so glad they arrived when they did. I should add a list of my favorite songs to my site somewhere. The 2 songs I wanted, in case anyone is wondering, are "Last Train To Wherever" by Telepopmusik, and "Faith In Me" by Pole Folder. Both were featured in recent Nip/Tuck episodes, and both rocked my socks - hardcore. ;-0)

I slept from around 7:30pm-11:30pm. I read some of my Star Trek book. I played a video game, and listened to music. I finished watching "Heart & Souls", which I started on my break at work, and which always makes me cry a lot, even if it is really cheesy. I ate. I read some more. I went back to bed around 5am and slept until 8:30am. Still having trouble sleeping, but I think I slept 'deeper' if that makes any sense, and I feel a lot better, though not quite fantastic.

Mark is dropping me off at work today so he can visit his mom. I work 1pm-5:30pm today (and tomorrow as well); I get paid time & 1/2 today I think. I talked to my Grandfather, my older sister, 1 of my nephews, and Jill today. ;-0) I should call Jamie, since it's her birthday. I'm thinking I'll do that on my break at work. I'm eating right now, and I want to take my time getting ready, and try to stay as relaxed as possible.

Other stuff in my brain: I'm still worried about Patrick, and I should get in touch with him soon and see how he's doing. I've been aching to read Marvel comics again, and I was reading up on all sorts of wacky storylines, and I wanted to talk to him about them, but I never did. erg. Also hoping that I get to hang out with Matt sometime soon, who I was supposed to hang out with at Necto last night - but didn't. I'd feel really bad about not going, except I obviously needed to be in bed far more than on the dancefloor. But that doesn't mean I didn't want to be there - and I sent him an e-mail before the time that I usually go. Maybe he didn't go either.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:05 AM
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Work was a lot better today. There were a lot less people, and the ones that were there, weren't half as annoying. lol I worked with DJ, Jeff, Ben, Nate & Scott. DJ asked me a funny question; he asked me if I hated Jeff or just really disliked him, which is odd, because I don't really have anything against Jeff. He can be an ass sometimes, but so can I. He had that really annoying incident a few weeks ago (which was so outlandishly irresponsible that it still boggles my mind), and we had 2 really bad encounters when we first met 3 & 1/2 years ago, but besides that - not a problem. I've actually had fun with him outside of work, and his girlfriend is awesome.

I called Jamie's house on my lunch break, and talked to Mom since Jamie wasn't around. Apparently they don't have power in Milan, where they live, but my Grandfather's generator is helping them out. She also told me Jamie has a 2nd job now, looking after an elderly woman. I guess that Jamie & Coleen(?) are still friends, and that they don't talk about the guy that used to be Jamie's fiance, but then dropped Jamie to be with Coleen!?! I didn't expect anything more from him because he sounds like such a pussy, but from Jamie's best friend I expected a hell of a lot more, and she better hope that I don't run into her. It makes me so angry everytime it comes up - grrrr. I told mom to make sure that Jamie gets my birthday wishes; I wanted her to know that I didn't forget.

I watched the beginning of Star Trek VI on my break, as the new Trek book I'm reading takes place about a year after that film, and the opening sequence of Generations. I'll start that book in a little while. I brought The Phoenix Saga home from work; 5 episodes from the old animated series. It's kind of lame; I enjoy that series far more than X-Men: Evolution (which I thought was horrible) and I respect that they attempted to tell some of the more complex X-Men stories, but I just don't the story came out as well in the animated form. In the comics, the story is golden. We'll see how well it stands up in X3; it's not the only storyline going on there, so I doubt that it will be like the comics either; I'm really nervous about X3 actually. The first 2 films in the serier really raised the bar for Superhero movies in my opinion. The first one is actually very short & sweet - but it makes the X-Men seem real without making them seem silly or stupid, or whatever - which is a huge deal, when you consider what they had to take on. X2 just expanded on that story in every way - and was a fantastic movie going experience. It was great seeing everyone again - and it really felt like a continuation of the first film. This new one is under a new director, and while I believe the entire cast came back for X3, except for a few random smaller heroes (Jubilee & Kitty Pryde), and a few heroes don't appear at all (Nightcrawler) - I want the experience for 3 to be as great as 1 & 2 were. Ok. I'll stop rambling.

Before work, Mark & I got in a little spat. My phone rang, and I could barely hear it. I thought it was coming from my room, but then I couldn't remember bringing it upstairs so I asked Mark he heard it ring, and if it was downstairs. I checked and it wasn't. He went to call it, but I asked him not to - that I didn't want to bother with that right now. He said that he could do it. It was in my room somewhere, so I opened my door and told him that it was in my room, and that I wanted him to stop. I closed my door, and I went to lean against it (I was shaving at the time) and as I was almost to the door it started to open and I closed it with my ass! lol Mark asked me why I was being this way - and then said that I was being a bitch. Now - 1st thing - I didn't slam the door, and I didn't even close it on him as he tried to open it - at least not on purpose. 2nd, I told him that I didn't want the phone thing done, and he did it anyways. 3rd, I told him it was in my room, and to Stop It. I didn't yell any of those things; I made a point to say them politely, because I didn't want to upset him. And for that I'm a bitch. The truth was I didn't have to time to look for my phone at that moment (I was shaving), and I didn't want him digging through my room for my phone, because a) I don't like people around while I'm shaving or getting ready, because it distracts me - and B) (this one's important) Mark's anniversary present was hidden in my room, and I didn't want him to find it while tearing through my room - which is something I shouldn't have had to worry about right? Especially since I conveyed that I didn't want him to do that. Now, I threw him this really huge surprise birthday party - which was hella stressful for me - but never in all the confusion did Mark call me a bitch for trying to keep his party secret. But here he was being an asshole to me, for trying to do something nice for him. And even if I hadn't been - his behaviour was still pretty shitty. I told him I wasn't being a bitch, and explained the whole thing - and that he had ruined his surprise, because he made keeping that secret far too stressful & insulting - and just not that much fun. He insisted I was a bitch, and he didn't talk to me the rest of the morning, except to tell me I needed new shoes - which to be fair, he didn't say in cruel way. By the time he dropped me off at work we were ok, and after work we watched some of that X-Men dvd before I fell asleep.

Our internet connection has been a bit iffy since the storm; apparently comcast is haveing some problems in our area. I got an e-mail from Matt saying he didn't go to Necto either, so now I'm really glad I didn't go. He said he didn't go because he was on call for work; I think he told he owns or runs a coffee shop, so being on call...sounds weird. lol "Come quick Matt, I need a caffeine infusion!!!". lol

I should eat, maybe start that book. Or I might finish the X-Men, or Trek. Or I might organize my manip collection. Stuff to do. ;-0) I hope Mollie is well. She's more than likely finished Enterprise by now, and I wonder what she thought of the Klingon episodes - or about the Shran/Archer goodbye scene on Andoria; and all the other episodes. And although she doesn't love the characters as much as Carrie, Adam, or Mark & I, I'm wondering if she sees how insulting the final episode was!?! Or maybe she got it - and isn't speaking to me as a result of making her watch it. lol I do remember the penultimate episode making me cry...there was a scene in which Phlox is talking about how the crew has become his family...it was nice. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:08 PM
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   Sunday, November 27, 2005

I just woke up from an erotic dream, in which I lived in my Grandmother's house - or at least it was set up like my Grandmother's house - it was like her house had been destroyed, and a replica of it (though it was a lot bigger) was built. I dreamt I was talking to 2 men from my past, they were a couple, and we were all friends. One of the men was Jason "Jay" Prater, who gave me an amazing blowjob the morning of July 4, 2003 - and who now works at Aut Bar; he still says hello with a big smile, and once proclaimed to a crowd of hot guys how "Huge" my dick was; lol. The other guy's name is Jason Dornoff. Wow - all 3 of us Jason's; I didn't notice that until just now. Weird. Anyways, I never had sex with this 2nd Jason, though we've both dated the same guy (not at the same time) at least once; the one I know about, being Gene Warrick. I've seen Jason twice; the first time was at a showing of the movie Stargate at Fox Theater January 14, 1995. [God - my memory is really scary sometimes] The other time I saw him, at least I'm pretty sure it was him (I only just remembered this a minute ago, and I'm still half asleep - he was with Tony Glassman, and I believe they lived together in Ohio somewhere??? Strange... I know a lot about his sex with Gene though, because Gene talked about his many ex-boyfriends on a regular basis.

Anyways - in the dream, I was talking to Jay & Jason, and they were obviously really horny, and I invited them back to my room, which was like my Grandmother's room, only so not. lol We had a hot 3-way; Jason D. fucked Jason P., while I rimmed Jason D. while being rimmed by Jason P. lol I also, somehow rimmed Jay as well, but Jason never stopped fucking him, so I'm not sure how that happened - I do know that Jay's tongue almost made me cum. It was really hot. I could tell that Jason D. wanted to do more with me - and I wanted it done, but Jason P. & he were a couple in the dream, and Jason P. wasn't sure he was into all this; they both came fairly quickly, and they left me with a huge hardon, but I felt weird asking them to finish me off, because the whole thing was so weird; hot, but weird. It seemed like I knew Jason D. very well; like we were friends. After they left, I played some CURE, and I had to run around the house shutting down all the speakers that weren't in my room, because I didn't want to wake Mark up. lol. Then I watched a movie about Safe Sex - in which these guys saw that these other guys were going to have unprotected sex in a car parked next to them, so they jumped in the car with them, and said something about a party - and they all went to a drivin, and actually watched the movie instead of fucking. My brain is so strange.

So at work on Friday, I rang someone up named John Dornoff, and the name struck a chord with me, but I couldn't say why. Well, then when I looked up the guy's account, it also brought up Jason Dornoff's name, and I remembered him right away. I asked John if he was related to Jason, and he said that Jason was his nephew, and then he asked me how I knew him, and if I'd seen him lately, because he hadn't seen him in a long time. I told him that we knew each other threw other people, and that I hadn't seen him since that theater nearly 11 years ago, which now seems to be untrue, but I didn't remember that at the time. I forgot about the whole thing later, but it explains why I dreamt about him. And I saw Jay a few weeks ago. I remember his parents lived in a trailer park, and they thought the internet was evil; he used the internet from his sister's, who lived in the same trailer park. I just went to visit him, there in whitetrash heaven - which made me remember living with my own parents, but when I was leaving he begged to see my dick - and I'll probably delete this later because this is so graphic, but my fingers keep going - but I told him he could see it, and before I knew what was happening he was giving me one of the best blowjobs of my life. Anyways... I should get some more sleep or something.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:43 AM
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I still haven't gotten back to sleep since this morning's dream. I'm scanning pictures of Gene Warrick for his dedication page. It's really strange looking at these pictures now; we were so young. Paul, Troy, Doreen, Tracy [#4]... And Gene looked really good in some of those pictures. It's just odd. I don't think about those times very often, and I don't think I've ever seen these pictures more clearly; I can step back, and look at them differently, and it's kind of nice. I don't mean that dating Gene was a great experience, because it was easily the worst I've ever had, but I can look at them from a far more removed kind of place, and enjoy them for that. I have a really bad headache though, so I'll probably take my last 2 Midrin soon, and sleep before work tonight...

We'll see.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:59 AM
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I'm just about to take a nap. I found all the Gene stuff I had saved; it's all pretty dark stuff. He was so insane, and I had such low self esteem; I talked to Mark about a lot of it. Part of having a memory like mine, is that I'll most likely remember the pain of all that forever... I don't think Gene even felt it at the time, let alone now. I should be able to put up a really interesting page about him though; I'll have to work on it some more this week.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:17 PM
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   Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Work was ok Sunday night. Except that Nate doesn't always cover his mouth when he coughs, and chews with his mouth open. He's fun to be around anyways & I still love him. lol I started feeling a bit odd that night, and I'm pretty sure I have a cold or something now. I'm not coughing or anything, but I'm congested, and miserable. I don't handle being sick very well; I mean, I'm a total pussy, when I'm sick - I wish that I was different in this aspect, but there are so many complications from being sick like this, with all my other problems that together I've just...blah. I don't even feel like writing. I have most of this week off, which I requested because I was in need of a break, but now I'm sick, which, time off will help with, but it won't be the deep relaxing thing that I had planned on. :-0( I'm on the verge of being depressed. I've already moved into whiney/mopey territory.

I had Monday off. I was intending to sleep today, and then dance like mad at Necto, but I think any violent head twirling would kill me right now, so I've had to pass again. I hate missing Factory Nights at Necto; I always feel so good after dancing, and the music is usually really good - plus there are any number of amusing people. I did sleep for a long time today though.

I rented the first 2 discs of the final Friends season last night, but I've already watched them. I only have 6-8 episodes left of that show; it doesn't seem like I've seen all 10 seasons so quickly, but I have. I'm tempted to give Joey a try after this, but I was thinking about the show - and I don't think any of them could hold a show on their own; they're all...kind of annoying, and it's only through the ensemble of them that they do as well as they do. I hate Rachel. Ross is so hung up on her, that he has become just as bad. Joey is stupid, and stupid humor doesn't usually make me laugh, but his friends' reactions make him funny. Phoebe(?) is amusing, and makes everyone else seem more amusing. Monica & Chandler are my favorites, but I don't think I'd want to see a show about them either. It doesn't help that so few people I know watch or enjoy Joey, or that none of the other "Friends" have visited his show. And I've read that the show hasn't done well at all, and will most likely be cancelled soon. whatever.

I need to eat. I might work on my webpage some more, or read. Trying to be comfortable is my main goal. lol I have to work tomorrow and I'm really not looking forward to it. I'm thinking that Wednesday night would be a good time to see Harry Potter with Mollie & Mark (and maybe DJ), but if I develope coughing/sneezing symptoms I'll just skip the movie altogether and let them enjoy it. I've grown to dislike the movie going experience over the years because of rude/loud people in the theater, and I find the coughing/sneezing people to be part of that group; I refuse to be that person. It's not like it's that horrible waiting for DVD. It used to be that I had great theater experiences almost every time, and now the opposite is true. I'm one of those people who needs people to be quiet, and not have their cell phones on - I need the movie experience to be about the movie itself, and not everyone else in the room, for me to enjoy it. I expect there to be some noise opening night, but after that - it's quiet time. And if you ask someone to be quiet in the theater you get all sorts of nasty reactions (one guy shot another guy downtown when he was asked to be quiet in the theater) - when according to the 'rules' layed out at the beginning of every movie - they shouldn't have been making noise in the first place. It's gotten to the point where I feel stressed about going to see most movies. I used to see movies all the time, and now I only go to the ones that I really, REALLY want to see. It's kind of sad, because before, I could see a movie and not know a lot about it, and really be surprised in the theater, but now I don't want to risk some shmuck ruining the experience for me, especially when I'm spending an obscene amount of money to see the show. It's like gambling, and I hate gambling. I hate setting myself up to have fun, and then losing money. I don't see the point of it. I want to see Harry Potter. I want to see Rent. I want to see Brokeback Mountain. A few years ago I might have seen Aeon Flux as well, but I don't want to see that enough to deal with stupid people. I'm torn on King Kong; but I'm thinking I'll probably wait for DVD. erg. The only 2 theater experiences in the last few years, that were outright fantastic, were X2, Serenity, and Fellowship of The Ring.

Ok - I'll go get that food now.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:43 AM
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   Wednesday, November 30, 2005

I haven't been coughing much at all, and I'm not all sniffly at the moment, so I'm planning on seeing Harry Potter tonight with Mollie, Mark, & perhaps DJ; he hasn't confirmed as of yet. I just rewatched 'Azkaban' and I have to come to agree with another review that I read, which said that as a movie in a series of movies it's fantastic, but that as an adaptation of the book it sucks. That doesn't bother me so much anymore, as I've come to see the movies as their own little world, seperate from the books. The actors, even in the 3rd, look far too old to be the characters from the books, but since they've already outgrown the parts, and they've played them so well, it would be a shame to recast them now, and I hope they stay on for the other 3 films. And that 7th book better kick ass.

I'm a bit acidy, but as long as I got a few hours sleep before the show I should be good. I watched the last 2 Desperate Housewives episodes this morning, and I can't wait to share them with Mollie. I think it best we watch Nip/Tuck first, but Mollie says that she can come over friday night, and watch oodles of Nip/Tuck then, which would be fabulous as there are only 5 more episodes this season, and I want us to at least see the end together. I haven't seen the one that was on last night, and I'm dying to!!!

I watched the first episode of Rome last night. It was ok; reminded me of Xena; lol. Only Caesar was hot on Xena, and on this he's really gross. Not a lot of hot guys so far, though several lovely ladies have been on display. Hopefully that evens out later, as I intend to at least finish the first season.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:38 PM
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