Sunday, February 24, 2008

I was early to work yesterday, but the store was dead; probably because the sun was out and the breeze wasn't too chilly. They let me leave an hour early, which was great because I was starving. I went to McDonald's to eat, then went to Whole Foods to stock up on those rice treats I like. I also stopped into Barnes & Noble and picked up some magazines; one for it extensive Torchwood coverage (and pictures), and another one which had a preview of Battlestar Season 4. I actually have to go back and get 2 more copies of the Torchwood one (1 for more of the pictures, 1 to keep), and the latest Doctor Who mag, so I can rip up the one I already have. I considered dropping by Michael's place on my way home, but didn't, which turned out for the best later on.

When I got home there was a message from Michael saying he was still at his mom's house. He had thought he'd be back home around 5pm, which would have been perfect, as I'd have time to shower and stuff before we hung out, and I wouldn't be too tired. He didn't get home until around 9pm, which was about 2 hours after I'd gone to bed the night before, so I was tired by then. Michael was tired too though. In fact, he sounded more exhausted on the phone than I've ever heard him. He didn't actually make a lot of sense, but I figured that might just be me being tired, and I didn't pick at him. I told him he should take a nap, and I'd take a nap, and then we could hook up later.

Now, he remembers saying that I should call him, but I remember him saying he'd call me. Which one of us is right, I have no clue. But I got up around midnight, still sleepy, but excited to see Michael. I cleaned my room a bit; I shaved and showered. I read some of my Narnia book (I now have 3 chapters left). And still Michael hadn't called, and it was now about 20 after 5am. I called him. He was asleep, and the minute I heard his voice I was no longer annoyed. He sounded so cute. He told me he thought I was going to call him, but he was still sleepy, so he said he was going back to bed, and would set his alarm to wake him in an hour so he could throw on some clothes and come hang out with me. I said that was fine, though by now I was starting to get a bit tired, as I'd only taken a short nap.

2 and half hours later Michael still hadn't called. I figured he'd kept on sleeping, but couldn't be pissed about it, as he sounded so tired. I was starting to get a bit of headache though...and worried that our hoped for rendezvous was doomed to failure at this point. I sent him a yahoo message, as he was still logged on, but there was no response.

I decided I'd have breakfast. I had eggs and toast and water. It was really good, and so far there hasn't been any stomach trouble. This does mean I'll have to wait until noon to go to bed though, but I think it was probably worth it. ;-0)

So now I'm thinking I'll play a video game for a bit, and maybe work on my wall a bit more. I work tonight. I work Tuesday & Friday. I might hang out with my friend Bobby this week sometime, if we have the time.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:41 AM
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   Monday, February 25, 2008

I slept for a few hours, and then ate & watched the director's cut of Beowulf, which I thought was very entertaining. The behind the scenes feature that showed how they captured the features of the actors and all the props and things was really interesting. Hopefully, these kinds of motion capture films will continue to evolve, and go on to tell many different kinds of stories. Mark (who watched this movie yesterday) said he enjoyed all of this stuff too.

I have to leave for work in about 2 hours, and I really don't know what to do until then. I updated my website earlier. I never got around to working on my walls, but I don't think I want to get into that, because I tend to get sucked into that for several hours, and I don't want to have to stop to go to work. I should contact Michael and decide if we can see each other after work. Oh. And I can burn the 2 Battlestar Galactica discs for Mollie that I keep forgetting to do. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:12 AM
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   Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Work was dead Sunday night.

Michael came over after I got home from work, but I ended up getting the mother of all migrains, which strained things a bit. We made the most of it though, and I had a long talk with him about my feelings for him, which he thanked me for later. I took my meds and went to bed.

I'm a bit worried about my migrains lately. They're back to the recurring horror that they sometimes are, and I'm not happy about it (duh). Even with the Midrin, they don't stay gone, which sucks more than I can tell you.

I watched the recent musical version of Hairspray & the new episode of L Word on Monday. I thought the movie was cute, though I didn't fall in love with it. And The L Word continues to rock. Just after I finished watching it, I got a myspace message from Elvis asking me if I watch the show. lol. She says she's dying to talk about it with someone and was hoping it would be me. She suggested hanging out at Aut Bar some Saturday.

I finished reading "The Horse & his Boy".

Monday night I slept instead of going out. I've been trying to sleep when I'm tired lately to avoid stomach problems. I woke up early today, and briefly chatted with Michael. Later I got a bunch of stuff ready for Mollie's next gift box. I still have more to do with it, which I have planned for tonight.

I drove Mark to work this morning (while suffering another migrain), in a blizzard. I stopped at Staples on the way home and bought all the poster tape they have, so I can work on my room later while I'm burning Mollie's discs. Michael said he might stop by and see me at work today. Oh, and I've got to wear something with a big collar because he gave me (with my consent) the most violent looking hickey. lol Of course if my knuckles were bruised from punching someone's lights out, people would think was cool, but since the bruise is on my neck, it's like the scarlet letter. lol Whatever.

I just showered. I need to make sure I'm all set to go to work. My headache is...muffled. I ate, and my stomach isn't as upset as it could be, so I'm counting that as a plus.

And Mollie's right; my days are very routine.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:04 PM
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   Wednesday, February 27, 2008

I was early to work today, and stayed late, but my lunch was extra long because they fucked up my food. But it was worth the wait to get it fixed. I worked with DJ, Alex, Laura & Mike; Bryan & Chris passed through briefly. It was a good work day.

After work I stopped at the bank, then went to pick up Mark. I had to wait for him, like usual, but I had an adorable conversation with my nephew Jonathan, that made it all better. ;-0)

After we got home, I changed my clothes and went to the bookstore to get more Torchwood themed magazines which went well, though one had a flaw and I had to exchange it later. After the bookstore I went and visited with Michael and Erica, which was also good times. I got to look through these fun photo scrap book things; Michael was always yummy. ;-0) I had to leave eventually though because his wicked cats were making it hard for me to breathe. I went to Borders and got still more magazines and this killer art book (which the hot Billy boy gave me at a discount becuase it was all beat up). It has some amazing Star Wars art that I'm going to put up in my room, though probably not until the sun comes up, as I'm getting way tired.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:00 PM
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   Thursday, February 28, 2008

I got some work done on my room today. I'm starting to run out of room for pictures. I'm really happy with how this project is coming along. I didn't get as much done today as I had hoped, but I planned a lot of it out.

I'm reading 'Prince Caspian' now. I had meant to take a break from Narnia, but now I think I should read all the books and be done with it. It's not that they're terrible; they're just kind of silly. I have 57 pages left in that one.

I talked to Michael briefly on the phone. I got to watch Torchwood with Mark. I left Mollie a message. And I burned 4 or 5 discs for Mollie, which took forever. I'm about to start another one, which will prevent me from using the computer.

Since I wasn't going to be able to use the computer, I hopped on to gay.com to see if Michael was chatting. He wasn't, but Mat was there and I said hello to him. But then this guy that I used to know, mostly in passing, said hello to me. His name is Tom, and I met him through Donnie & Dean, though apparently he also knows Carrie and Adam. Well, he moved away back in 2005, and I had just asked about him, because I hadn't seen him around and I rather liked seeing him around, but I was kind of a dick at the time. Well, when I heard he was leaving and that he'd kind of had a bad time of it here, I decided to write something for him, which I then tried to send him, but it never reached him...but as soon as I knew it was him I was talking to I told him that I had written about him back then, and I e-mailed him a copy, which he liked. So that's a really good ending to a mostly good day (my stomach was bothering me earlier). The poem I wrote Tom years ago isn't on my website, as I never finished any art for hit, but I'll repost it here:

MISSED

Two or three times I spoke your name,
Though never for long,
we spoke just the same...

And I was an ass before each goodbye...
But I was just nervous,
though I can't tell you why.

You are actually gorgeous,
square shoulders; compact,
with great looking eyes,
strong thighs; all of that...

But your smile
& manner
& the look that you gave...

You made me so nervous;
and somehow, afraid.

I fucked it all up...
Each time that we spoke.

I was so messed up then;
And then... "That's all he wrote."

And I regretted each time,
and I never told you...

Though I once had a dream
where you once let me hold you...

But the dream was just laughter,
and the truth is what matters,
and the truth is I'm sorry
and I want you to know...

That your smile was sunlight,
Your manner was just right,
But my bullshit was more than I could let go.

Your seemingly delicate,
meaningfully circumspect,
flick of your eyes made me stutter and leave...

But it wasn't disinterest,
it wasn't just meaningless,
and I pray my confession is heard & believed.

For looking back now,
I was stupid and wrong...

I was struck by your beauty...
Vulnerable...
Strong.

And I heard you were leaving,
And I hope when you're gone...

You'll remember my shame,
and that I took the blame for not treating you
just as you deserved
to be
Tom

Written By Jason Wright
MAY 20, 2005

For Tom

I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner,
but I just never saw you again.

Be Happy!

Bald Jason

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:05 AM
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I went to bed just after the last entry. I slept well. I woke up around 6, and ripped a disc for Mollie; the burning of which took most of the next 4 hours, though in the end it failed!?! Fuck. This is happening more and more and I think it's because of the discs. I used to use memorex, but they're hard to come by now, and like 3 times as expensive. This sucks...

I'm gonna get something to eat.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:01 AM
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I had a snack. I read some more Narnia; 21 pages left in Caspian. I retried that damned Doctor Who disc for Mollie; it worked thist time! And while that was burning I put more pictures up in my room; I've added 18 pictures in the last 24 hours. That doesn't sound like a lot, but it is, when you add in all the scouring for pictures, the cutting and taping (which is a lot more complicated than it sounds), and then getting them to fit just right. So far my day has been a good one...and I'm really, really horny. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:50 PM
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I'm done with my room for the day; very happy with what I've done. The total for the day came to 39 pictures. Very nice. I was in the zone, as they say.

Now I've eaten, and brushed my teeth. I need to attempt another dvd for Mollie. I need to shave and shower. Michael should be here about 9pm for a snog-fest...so I've got to hurry. And after that, I hope to finish 'Prince Caspian' and get to bed fairly early.

Did I mention that I love my room? ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:17 PM
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   Friday, February 29, 2008

When Michael arrived he was on the phone with his sister. Something he said prompted me to call my sister Janice, which was cute, as we were both on the phone with our older sisters, chatting away and laughing. Later we cuddled, and talked, and eventuall had the sex. We showered, and talked some more, but because of the sister time, things had gone on a lot later than I had expected, and I was exhausted. I was also getting hungry, but didn't want to eat before I slept. I did have some pineapple juice though. Michael let himself out, and I went to bed.

I woke up around 7am. I had been burning a disc for Mollie, and it was finished. I have to burn 4 more for her, for this set; one of which I don't have yet, but should have next week. This set will give her 39 more serials, from the 4th Doctor's "Revenge of the Cybermen" to the 5th Doctor's "Castrovalva"; though maybe if I have time, I'll try throwing in a few more, so that she can have the complete set of the 4th Doctor's adventures? That would be cool, but I'd have to buy a new holder for the set, and update some other stuff, which I might not have time or money for. We'll see.

Mark is working from home for the first part of today, so that I can drop him off at work for a meeting, and I can still get to work, nearly ontime. That way I'll have the car for my lunch break, and also leave work ontime.

Mark's sister-in-law and and nephews are going to be at Mark's father's house tonight, but I don't want to say I'm going ahead of time, because I never know what my stomach is going to feel like...so I'd rather not plan ahead. Mark says that if I don't go, that he's not going either, which I don't really understand...but that's not required, I suppose. lol. I would like to get some groceries after work, which I'll probably have time for before I pick up Mark anyways.

I'm gonna start working on another dvd for Mollie, just after I read the news. Then maybe I'll get something to eat, and finish off that Narnia book? Or maybe I'll try to get some more sleep.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:09 AM
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Today is starting to suck.

Mark waited to shower with me, so we could leave. We do that sometimes; the showering thing. I can't express to you enough how non-sexual this is after so many years living together. We're naked around each other all the time, and simply don't see each other that way, if that makes any sense... It's just not a big deal. It's like having a conversation at public shower. Only that's probably slightly more sexual now that I think about it. lol

Anyways, Mark was asking me if I wanted to go see his sister-in-law and nephews after work, and I told him again that I wouldn't know until after work because I don't like to plan things cause (sadly) my ability to keep down food can switch on a dime. As if to demonstrate this, he started lightly badgering me for an answer, which upset me, and then I got sick. I'm super sensitive about my condition, and when people pressure me about the way I don't plan stuff and why it makes me feel damaged and crazy and insecure...and then all those things upset my stomach, and it's always bad. Mark saw this right off and apologised, but the damage was done. Now I'm sick to my stomach, and Mark can't be late for his meeting, so now I'm stuck without a ride to work...with no real desire to get dressed and have anything touch my stomach. And assuming I get in there somehow, and my stomach calms down, I won't have the car to get any lunch. Pretty much all my planning (which wasn't all that to begin with) has been decimated by one little conversation.

How pathetic am I?

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:43 PM
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Mark, after going outside, realized he wouldn't make his meeting anyways, because there's a bunch more snow than we thought, so he stayed in. He called Mollie and offered her a data entry job to help Mollie (and himself) out; which I thought was awesome, because if that works out, and Mollie has a job to do, and at least some income, maybe that will help her out, and also raise her spirits. After calling Mollie, Mark called my work, and told them we were running late because of the snow and my stomach. Now he's gonna eat, while we wait for my stomach to calm down. I still feel crappy, but less so, if that makes any sense, as I don't have to find a ride now. Also DJ told Mark that there was no rush, as they're not busy today, which makes me feel better too. Now if my stomach would just stop behaving like it has for the last 7 years then I'd be great.

I'm looking forward to working with DJ and finding out where he is on Doctor Who. I think he should be to the 2-parter that 'introduces' Captain Jack. Rock on. I find myself wanting to rewatch Battlestar Galactica. When I have money perhaps I'll buy it. I have 16 pages left in my book. Maybe I will take a break from Narnia after that, and maybe I won't. It depends on how I feel when I'm done, I suppose.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:58 PM
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