Bald Jason's Musings


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   Sunday, July 27, 2008

I can't sleep. I've been trying, but...no zzzs.

Keev did call yesterday and came over. He enjoyed the finale Who episodes, and we got to chat. He seemed to like my collage. It was a fun, brief visit. Later I took a nap, then went and got pizza, and some grocery items. I also made plans to hang out with Jordan on Tuesday. Then I went to Aut Bar to say goodbye to Ray. Later I chatted online with Michael, Karen, Corey and some other folks. Karen and I made plans for me to pick her up from work at 11pm tonight, and then she'll come over and watch some Doctor Who; yay - another convert! :-0)

I also had a text exchange with Bobby, who wants to do a photoshoot today, which I'd been hoping to do this weekend with Mark anyways, so that's cool. I'm so in need of new photos for my website, though I've been doing the best with what I have. When this update finally happens, it will be almost completely made up of new to the site photos, which is cool. I'm finding a lot of things cool lately. lol

There's a chance that I'll be able to get the new Doctor Who mini-episode in some form later this morning.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:09 AM
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I had a dream this week, that I keep forgetting to mention. In the dream I was chatting to River Phoenix. I can't remember what he was telling me, but it's one of those dreams that keeps coming back to me in bits and pieces. I have a piece of River Phoenix art on my wall; not art that he did, but that someone did of him. A few years ago I considered mixing a River Phoenix cd, with snippets of dialogue from his movies mixed with songs dedicated to the actor, or referencing him in some way. He was born August 23, 1970 (the same day as my older sister) and he died October 31, 1993 - I was with my then boyfriend Jeff when I heard the news, shortly after Halloween, and there was a large fire that night. I don't think that any of this has to do with the dream... I'm pretty sure it was inspired by Preston and his friends that I met downtown, as they reminded me of "My Own Private Idaho".

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:17 AM
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A New Pointless Doctor Who List!

Spoilers for the 3-Part finale to Season 30 of the Whonviverse!

These episodes are:

801 Turn Left [Part I]
802 The Stolen Earth [Part II]
803 Journey's End [Part III]

These episodes revisit almost every major event of the New Whoniverse thus far, and are tied into every episode of the New Whoniverse thus far. To demonstrate this I've made this handy, if random and pointless list.

Returning / Revisited Characters, Places & Things:

The Adipose
Last seen in #784: "The Poison Sky", in a flashback to #775: "Partners in Crime".

10
Last seen in #796: "Midnight".

ATMOS
Last seen in #784: "The Poison Sky".

Gwen Cooper
Last seen in #800: "Exit Wounds".

The Daleks
Last seen in #750: "Evolution of the Daleks"; last mentioned in #793: "Forest of the Dead".

Dalek Caan
Last seen in #750: "Evolution of the Daleks".

Davros
Last seen in #682: "Remembrance of the Daleks, Part IV"; last referenced in #750: "Evolution of the Daleks".

Captain Jack Harkness / The Face of Boe
Last seen as Jack in #800: "Exit Wounds"; last seen as The Face of Boe in #762: "Utopia" in flashback to episode #745: "Gridlock".

Captain Jack's Defabricator Gun
Last seen in #720: "The Parting of the Ways".

Private Harris
Last seen in #784: "The Poison Sky".

H.C. Clements
Last seen in #737: "The Runaway Bride".

Francine Jones
Last seen in #764: "Last of the Time Lords".

Harriet Jones
Last seen in #722: "The Christmas Invasion"; last mentioned in #763: "The Sound of Drums".

Ianto Jones
Last seen in #800: "Exit Wounds".

Martha Jones
Last seen in #785: "The Doctor's Daughter"; last mentioned in #796: "Midnight".

Tish Jones
Last seen in #764: "Last of the Time Lords".

The Judoon
Last seen in #741: "Smith and Jones"; last mentioned in #773: "Revenge of the Slitheen, Part II".

K9
Last seen in #798: "The Lost Boy, Part II".

The Medusa Cascade
1st appearance of the Medusa Cascade; it's been mentioned in various episodes, including #764: "Last of the Time Lords", #775: "Partners in Crime", #777 "The Fires of Pompeii", #783: "The Sontaran Stratagem" & #796: "Midnight".

Oliver Morgenstern
Last seen in #741: "Smith and Jones".

Wilfred Mott
Last seen in #784: "The Poison Sky".

Donna Noble
Last seen in #796: "Midnight".

Sylvia Noble
Last seen in #784: "The Poison Sky".

Regeneration
The Doctor last regenerated in #720: "The Parting of the Ways"; The Master in #762: "Utopia".

Royal Hope Hospital
Last seen in #741: "Smith and Jones".

The Shadow Proclamation
1st appeared here, but often referenced; I don't even know how many times, though it was certainly referenced in #708: "Rose", #722: "The Christmas Invasion", and #775: "Partners in Crime".

Luke Smith
Last seen in #798: "The Lost Boy, Part II".

Mickey Smith
Last seen in #736: "Doomsday"; last mentioned in #762: "Utopia".

Mr. Smith
Last seen in #798: "The Lost Boy, Part II".

Sarah Jane Smith
Last seen in #798: "The Lost Boy, Part II".

Sarah's House / Car
Last seen in #798: "The Lost Boy, Part II".

The TARDIS
Last seen in #793: "Forest of the Dead".

The Titanic
Last seen in #766: "Voyage of the Damned"; last mentioned in #775: "Partners in Crime".

Torchwood / The Hub
Last seen in #800: "Exit Wounds".

Jackie Tyler
Last seen in #736: "Doomsday"; last mentioned in #762: "Utopia".

Rose Tyler
Last seen in #796: "Midnight".

UNIT
Last seen in #799: "Fragments".

The Valiant
Last seen in #784: "The Poison Sky".

The Web Star
Last seen in #766: "Voyage of the Damned" in flashback to #737: "The Runaway Bride".

Trinity Wells
Last seen in #784: "The Poison Sky"

Later I'll list things that were seen in flashback; mentioned and referenced...but perhaps I can sleep now?

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:08 AM
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I slept well. Mostly. No headaches or stomach problems today. Yay! Bored though. I haven't heard from B. about taking pictures today. Something always seems to get in the way of that. If I believed in god (lower case intended) then I'd think it was trying to tell me something, but as it is, I think we both just have really crappy luck, which when combined causes all sorts of things to go wrong. lol

I'm hanging out with Karen tonight, unless that falls apart too. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:45 PM
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   Monday, July 28, 2008

I returned my bicycle last night, which made me sad. It was pretty. And fun. But I can't afford it right now, as I'm broke, and the hours I would usually have had at work to cover the cost of the bicycle have disappeared without any warning. :-0(

I picked up Karen from Meijer ontime. We watched "Journey's End", then ate and talked about it, before calling Mollie and chatting with her awhile. Later we watched "Rose", and then I took her home, as it was now after 3:30am, and we were both kind of tired, though I knew I was only tired because of my pills. We might hang out again Thursday night.

When I got home, I chatted a bit, then read about 30 pages of the Titan book, and watched the first half of Star Trek: Nemesis, which I've only seen twice before. I think I'm enjoying it more this time than the previous viewings, which didn't impress me at all. I went to bed around 6:30am.

I woke up around 2pm. I read the mail. I worked on my room; putting up 5 pictures in random places; all of them trouble spots, that I'd planned on, which seem to be working out...I'd have done more but I'm nearly out of tape, and ink, which are both required for the next bits.

I just took my pills. I'll eat in about a half an hour. I'm starting to get a headache, but I think it's just because I haven't eaten. If I still have it when I'm finished eating I might take something...it's actually getting kind of bad, so I should probably take something now. My pills don't always work if I wait. My pills have been really good about getting rid of my physical ailments of late, which is what they're there for, so that's cool.

I'm planning on going to Necto tonight. Though when I plan things they tend to not happen, so don't assume I'm going to be there. lol

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:10 PM
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My headache is gone, and my new galleries are 50% finished! :-0) Go Me! I still have a ton of work to do on those galleries, but I'm enjoying this moment for what it is. Hooray! :-0)

And though my headache is 'gone'; I think a long hot shower would do me some good, so off I go. :-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:57 PM
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   Tuesday, July 29, 2008

When Mark got home from work, we cuddled and had a nice chat about everything that's going on lately with his work, and my collage and stuff. That's one of the really great things of living with one of your best friends. :-0)

Later I ate, but my pills didn't work. The thing is, that I can eat a lot of one thing, but not another, so my learning curve is far more complex than if the amount of food I could eat was a constant. I'm sure I'll eventually pick up on all the intricate measurements and stuff...and if I don't, at least the pills help most of the time. ;-0)

I went to Necto last night, and had a mostly fabulous time, meeting new peeps like Patrick, Ruth, Liz & Liz - while running into other recent peeps, and old friends like Steven. But even though these people made my night better, my night was haunted by the unforseen disaster which ended (or at the very least, devastated) what I expected to be a continuing friendship with Preston Clayton.

To get the story of of Preston you can read old entries here, here, here, here, here & here. I think that's all the entries in which he's mentioned. If you don't want to read all that, I can try to explain our brief history here, but if you've read this part you can skip this re-introduction.

I met 18yo Preston James Clayton at the Aut Bar in the early morning hours of Thursday July 17, 2008. We struck up a conversation after he grabbed my shoulder while walking out of the bar. The converation continued after his friends left; after it began to rain; after we went back in the bar...and left the bar, and hung out in my car. It was nice. He amused me. I amused him, or so he said. I went home that morning feeling good about this new friendship with this interesting fellow.

We chatted online soon after. He told me I should go to Necto on Monday because he was going to be there. I ran into him there, and I brought him home with me after he told me he was homeless. He told me that he'd been thrown out by his prostitute Grandmother (whom his parents live with, in Manchester) for being gay!?! I over-identified complelely. I showered with him, and let him sleep in my bed, but wouldn't let him have sex with me; telling him that it seemed like he needed friends now, far more than he needed a boyfriend. He stayed until 4pm the next day and then wandered downtown to meet some friends. Later he e-mailed me this message:

----- Original Message -----
From: "Preston Clayton"
To: [e-mail removed]
Sent: Tuesday, July 22, 2008 8:34 PM
Subject: Hey Sir.

Hey Jason,

So this is the only email I have for you so I thought I might as well email you instead of leaving a voice mail on your phone :-P

I am really glad we spent the night together. You made me really happy. I haven't actually enjoyed life in a while. I was being truthful when I said that you scared me just for the fact of you caring. Not very many people do and when they do it just ends up being a charade.

I am careful who I trust now-a-days. But, I sit here smelling my shirt and it smells like you. I can't help but smile and wish I was still there with you. While you were sleeping I laid there awake for a little bit and contempated my decisions about my lifestyle choices in the whole "Togetherness" Factor.

You really made my heart skip a beat when you said "Friends" because for some reason at that exact moment I was thinking of use actually being together. I don't want to be a charity case at all. I have struggled and yet I still survive.

I miss you already. I really do care about you.

Love,

Preston
------------------

Which I thought was really sweet. But I had just talked to him on the phone before I got this message, and I had come to the conclusion that I had been right not to jump the gun on doing anything with him, sweet and cute though he was. The 'Love' part didn't escape my attention. I needed to reaffirm that I liked him, but that now wasn't the best time to start anything. I responded thusly:

----- Original Message -----
From: [e-mail removed]
To: "Preston Clayton"
Sent: Wednesday, July 23, 2008 1:17 AM
Subject: Re: Hey Sir.

"To Sir, With Love" - I love that movie...and song.

I just got this e-mail. I didn't get it before I called you.

Anything sent to @gothboboy.com will come to me. [e-mail addresses removed because I don't want spam] I own gothboy.com. ;-0)

I'm glad we spent last night together too. I've enjoyed your company since the moment I met you, and last night was no exception. Aside from the tickling. lol It makes me feel good that I could make you smile...and be happy. You were doing the same things for me. It was very balanced; very equal.

My caring about you isn't a charade; I can assure you of that. But maybe you don't understand why I care. I tried to explain this a little bit in that you remind me of myself a little bit, and of how lucky I've been. I want to make sure you are as lucky. I've also been quite taken with your strength, and your humor and your innocence...and your everything really.
When I was younger I had similar friends who didn't survive. You remind me of them a lot, and I'd hate to see you end up like them. It would hurt me.

I understand about the shirt thing. After you left, my bed smelled like you, and it made me smile. It sort of felt like you were still there, holding me. It might seem odd that someone so much older than you would find that comforting, but I did. I wouldn't have told you if you hadn't
mentioned the shirt. ;-0)

I don't think of you as a charity case at all. I admire you. I admire your strength of character, and youre ability to surive circumstances than many others do not; can not; choose not too. You've endeared yourself to me in ways that you (and maybe I) can't begin to comprehend. I think you're cute, funny, original, sexy, sad, shocking, sweet, inspiring and all kinds of other things that I don't have room to list here. I look forward to getting to know you better.

About the 'friends' thing. I'm attracted to you, which I think is more than obvious. And I care about you (which I hope you believe because it's the truth), and I don't want to ever hurt you. Part of the friend thing is that it just seems with so much upset in your life right now, that adding a relationship to the mix might not be the best decision for us. I mean...relationships can be hard under the best of circumstances, but neither one of us is at a great place at the moment - though our circumstances are very different. I'm not worried about the age difference. I'm worried that if we were to dive into something right now we might regret it later. Part of that, is that while I'm officially 'single', I've been sleeping with 2 of my ex-boyfriends, and been seeing this guy named Jordan. I've never done anything like this in my entire life before, and that alone is confusing to me. I'm not lying to anyone, or holding anything back (and none of them has a problem with my behavior - unless they're being dishonest with me), but I feel weird about the whole situation, and I know it can't last. Then there's all this stuff where I'm dealing with all these new drugs I'm on and how they make me feel. You don't even know about all of them. Some of them affect my mood, and I'm working with my doctors to master all these crazy things. Basically, what I'm saying is that me wanting to be friends with you isn't about me not liking you, but about me liking you a lot. I don't want to drag you into my madness and fuck you over.

But even that isn't a refusal of the possabilities between us. I mean...Why the rush? I mean...if we start out as friends, I think we'll be friends forever. And perhaps we'll become something more. If we do, that would be fantastic! If we don't...friendship really isn't that bad. :-0) I mean...sure I'll be jealous of the people you date, and probably say mean things about them...lol...but that's just me being me. I'll look out for you. And you'll know that I actually care about it, and I'm not trying to use you - or look after you just because you give killer head...or have a cock that makes me want to do naughty things. lol :-0)

There's more that I want to say but I feel like I'm tired and rambling. I'm sorry if I've said too much; I have a hard time censoring myself. But I've really enjoyed all the time we've spent together, and I'd like to spend even more time with you. And the thought of you thinking about your life...in relation to me, while I was asleep, makes me smile. The idea of you enjoying the smell of me on your shirt makes my heart sing. And the idea of knowing you for the rest of our lives is such a joy, that I can't even begin to express it.

That's all for now.

Ok? :-0)

Bald Jason
http://www.gothboy.com

---------------------------

Later on, the same day I sent him my reply, I invited him to see Hellboy II with me and some friends, but he was busy, shopping at the Adrian Mall with his Uncle, where he got new sandals. He told me that he bought something for me as well, and that I'd find out what it was the next time I kissed him. I never found out what he got me, and now I doubt I ever will.

The next day, Thursday July 24, Preston invited me downtown to meet some of his friends. He didn't have my gift with him, which was fine with me; that's not why I wanted to hang out with him. He was tripping on Molly (ecstacy) that he'd bought for $10 from a 'friend'. I still went to see him though, and we had a nice visit. Apparently the drug wasn't really working. I took him to Pizza House and bought him some soup. While we were alone he was so cool, but when we were around his friends he acted more stand offish, which I didn't understand. I came back to see him and his friends later that night on my way to get groceries, but they were just heading out to one of their homes on North Campus and had to catch a bus; Preston seemed to be stoned again.

On Friday, July 25, I saw Preston at Necto, and he seemed happy to see me, insisting that I dance with him. I gave him a poem that I had written that day for him, trying to express how much I enjoyed spending time with just him, because I liked who he was when it was just the two of us; here is that poem:

Mystery of Preston

From the first moment...

I've loved who you are
when it's only just us...

Nothing distracting the truth
of the two of us.

Just our eyes locked
across voids we can't place...

The hurt and the kindness
as it lights up your face...

The pain you keep hidden
and the light you can't see...

I like you best
when you are with me.

Written by Jason Wright
July 25, 2008

For: Preston James Clayton
---------------------------

Preston told me that he liked the poem, and then he kissed me. He seemed to be annoyed that I wasn't dancing as much as he was, but I told him that I didn't like the music. I spent a lot of time with another boy named Dwayne, who was encouraging people to register to vote, at a booth, and promoting Obama for President. Dwayne was amusing me, and I wasn't dating Preston, so I didn't see a problem with this; especially since I'd just given Preston a poem explaining just how much I enjoyed spending time with him. At the end of the night, Preston accidentally punched me in the nose, but apologised profusely for it, and said he felt like shit. I thought it was just an accident. I was hoping that we'd get to hang out after the bar, but he had to go to a friend's house.

I didn't talk to Preston on Saturday or Sunday, or Monday before the bar. I arrived at Necto Monday night (July 28), and some of Preston's friends told me he was there, and some of them even hugged me, which was nice. I assumed all was right with the world. Only it wasn't. I couldn't find Preston, which wasn't that surprising since I'm pretty blind without my glasses, and I'd left them in the car. I later ran into Preston's friend Jeremy, who asked me if I'd seen Preston, and then told me that Preston was 'rolling hard'; that he'd taken some drug for the first time, and that he couldn't stop dancing; that his friend Angie had to physically pull him off the dance floor because they were afraid he was going to die of dehydration! I later caught up with Preston and asked him if he was going to be ok, but he just kept telling me he was fine. I don't really enjoy being around people when they're tripping, and he was chilling with his buds, so I went my own way.

I started hanging out with this guy that I'd met earlier, while looking for Preston, named Patrick. It actually turned out that Patrick knew Preston, as did most of Patrick's friends, which I didn't expect. That actually turned out to be a good thing. One of the friend's, a cute almost 23yo named Ruth (who took some fun pictures of me), told me that Preston was talking shit about me; saying that I was stalking him, and that I'd written a poem for him, and that he was planning on punching me at the end of the night!?! I was so in shock, which was obvious to everyone, and they just fell on me in a kind of group comforting...which saved my night from going to Hell. They seriously made me have a good time, when everything said that I shouldn't. It didn't hurt that Patrick was so adorable, and the girls were so funny, sweet, and lively. I took them all out to Pizza House after the bar, and we had a blast. Ruth said she'd e-mail me the pictures, along with some really monstrous e-mails that she had from Preston, to demonstrate what a drama queen he really is, which is why all these people that knew preston first were on my side. I even showed them all the calls in my history from Preston to me, to show them that I wasn't stalking him, but that there was an exchange of calls and texts and things. But they didn't need to be convinced; they just knew he was fucked up. They didn't know he was on anything though. Ruth and Patrick wanted me to come to Necto on Friday, but I told them it wasn't really my music, and I didn't want to see Preston, but Ruth says she'll keep him away from me, and one of the Liz girls said if he hit me she'd punch him in the throat, which made me smile.

We were all tired after all that drama, so I showed them how to get back to Main Street, and a gas station, and then we went our separate ways.

When I got home, I typed a lot of this out, and then accidentally deleted it. I talked to Mark for awhile, and then started again. While the mistake was annoying, it helped me order my thoughts, so this turned out far better this time around.

Now I don't know what to think about Preston. I took him off my top 40 Myspace Friends list. I blocked him on AIM & Yahoo Messanger. I don't want to talk to him for fear of him using that as more ammo in the Jason is a stalker shit storm...but I don't understand what the fuck happened, except that I think I do. I think that my caring for him bothered him, and freaked him out - I mean, he told me that himself in person and that e-mail - so he felt scared. Then he saw me talking to other guys, so now he's scared I'm gonna hurt him, and jealous. Then he adds drugs to the mix. And I think that this combination turned him into a little bitch. But does that mean the friendship is over? I think that mostly depends on what he does next.

Anyways, I think I'm gonna switch my new galleries on so that they replace the old galleries, and then just continue to work on them while people gawk at them; that's how I used to work on them. That way people can see the new galleries now, which already hold more pictures than the old ones ever did. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:25 AM
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Done. My new galleries are now open, with 25 of 50 pages set to go. I'll finish the other 25 pages, and then update each of the 50 pages with new photos as they come in. You can see the new galleries here.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:32 AM
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I couldn't sleep. I got another page done on my new galleries. Page 26 is now finished...at least until the next update. lol

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:06 AM
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I went to bed around 9:30am. I woke up around 3:30pm. I could probably sleep more, but I'm gonna try to sleep a bit more tonight, in case we go to the Monroe Fair tomorrow (though if it looks like it's gonna rain, we're gonna go on Friday instead). I have new texts from Ruth and Patrick. Jordan & I just spoke on the phone, and we're gonna hang out tonight, around 7 or 8. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:48 PM
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I talked to Mollie on the phone for awhile; she saw Hellboy II last night with her brother Kenny, and she enjoyed it the same way I did, with the same minor complaints. :-0) I got an e-mail from Ruth, with pictures that she took of me last night, which I used to complete Page 27 of my new galleries; mixing them in with older photos, new and newly edited to my site.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:37 PM
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I just took a quick bath.

"Thunder only happens when it's raining;
Players only love you when they're playing;
women they will come and they will go..."

Patrick asked me last night if I'm a player. Ever since, I've had "Thunder Only Happens When It's Raining" stuck in my head. I told him I'm not. But what if I am? I mean...is player status dependant on perspective? I mean...I might seem like a player to an 18yo virgin. I mean, I enjoy sex. I can't remember a time when I wasn't having sex. The longest I've gone without some form of sex since I was 4 years old is 9 months. And yet I don't even feel like a whore, when I know people that hook up randomly with random people on a regular basis, which I've seldom if ever done. I know my sexuality though; I know what I like, and how I like it, and when I like it. I'm not ashamed of that; that's actually one of the things that I love about my age; that I know more about myself now than I did then. I've hooked up with several men that I knew I wasn't likely to see a 2nd time, but for me, I've learned that I have to reach a certain comfort level with them, based on our chemistry, and how well we connect, and if we reach that instinctively defined space, then I never regret the sex that follows. But do I seek out those kinds of encounters? Do I play people against each other? Do I lie to my partners or try to hurt them. No. No I don't.

"When the rain washes you clean you'll know...."

:-0)

My stomach feels kind of iffy. Hopefully, that will pass. I haven't seen Jordan in so long, it will be nice to hang out.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:07 PM
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Jordan said he'd be here about 8:30pm, but he's still not here. I'm sure he'll be here soon. I cleaned my room up a bit, took a shower, and played some Sypro. I also called my doctor to let her know my pharmacy info, so she could let them know that my dosage changed weeks ago, so they don't think I'm taking too much or something. Now I'm listening to random tunes, doing some laundry, and I might read some more. I'm so loving my book.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:05 PM
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Jordan just left. He couldn't spend the night because his mom needs his car in the morning. We had a good time, and a really cool conversation...which has left me with a lot to think about. Good stuff. We'll see where it leads me. I never spoke to Janice today, so I have no idea if we're going to the fair tomorrow, or Friday. I guess I could check to see if it's supposed to rain tomorrow. hmmm.

I'm hungry.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:26 PM
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   Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The teaser for Harry Potter 6 is out and it looks fucking amazing!!! I'm so happy that the crew from the 5th movie is handling this one, as I think the 5th was the best one yet! I'm so geeked about this movie now! :-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:06 AM
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I slept for a bit. Read some more (I've got 158 pages left). Read the news. Did more laundry. Played more Spyro (37% finished). Took some antacids. I haven't been very acidy lately, at all, but tonight I have been, which kind of sucks. Anyways...that's what I've been up to. It looks like it's going to rain today, so I'm guessing I'm going to the fair on Friday. I'll call Janice soon, just to be sure.

I've read 3 reviews of the new X-Files movie. 1 gave it a nearly perfect rating, while talking about how it wasn't very good. The other 2 talked about how crappy it was, and both made a point to comment on the homophobia that exists in the film; you can read those reviews here & here. Not wanting to see this at all now.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:00 AM
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My stomach is suddenly really upset. So far, today is sucking.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:28 AM
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So, I called Janice, and she's still going to the fair today. Without me. When we planned this together, and she'd said that if it rained we could go on Friday, which I like to believe I'll be feeling better by. Words can't express how disappointed I am; in myself for being so defective; in my sister for dashing my hopes; in myself for getting my hopes up in the first place.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:38 AM
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I slept. Woke up still feeling crappy. But I decided I was gonna do my best to get over that, which included taking my Zombie meds, though I was loathe to take them before. I also took my food meds, which I got a call back from my doctor about, saying they called in my prescription, meaning I shouldn't have to worry about those for awhile. Anyways...my zombie meds should take care of what hasn't been taken care of yet...but sometimes they take awhile - so even though I was trying to put my best spin on everything...I wasn't sure it was going to take.

And then Janice called. I assumed she was checking to see if I was going. She was calling to say that she'd talked it over with her husband Jerry, and that it was ok if we went without him on Friday. I could tell by her tone that she felt bad about the way she had spoken to me earlier, and knew that she had hurt me. Earlier she made me cry. Now I'm crying again, only it's a happy kind of thing. I have until Friday to feel better, which I'm sure I can manage. I'm pretty sure the acid thing was me forgetting my 2nd dose of prilosec and then eating garlic bread, and sleeping right after. The other thing might be related to that as well, but the zombie meds can clear that up after a dose or two, so I'll take it again tomorrow or Friday - though if I'd gotten the news from Janice 20 minutes earlier, I would have not taken it, but gotten pizza or something. Oh well. Beggars can't be choosers.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:50 AM
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My pill kicked in a long while back; hours ago. I'm in heavy zombie mode. It takes me a long time to move, or decide to move, or get myself to move. Why move when everything is so mesmerizing? lol It's weird, but hopefully the pill will help. I actually have to take my other stomach pills so I can eat some soup.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:50 PM
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