Saturday, November 1, 2008

Happy Halloween Indeed!

So my Halloween proved to be the best night I've had in ages; probably since my birthday. Which is weird, because usually I work on Halloween, so I wasn't sure what to do for the holiday. I got a message from Corey though, saying that he was going to be at Necto so I had that in the back of my mind. Then when Mark was on his way home with his dad and his step-mom he called to say he was taking them to Pizza House, so I showered and shaved and joined them which was fun for me. The food was perfection. I got to see the waitress that had waited on me & Sean. Sitting with Mark, and talking to his parents was actually just what I needed.

After we got home, Mark & I chilled for a bit, then I got ready for Necto. Jordan had texted me earlier saying that he might be there as well, so that was another reason to go. I didn't have a costume so I just gothed out, which I haven't really done in about a month, and I had a blast! First, there was a HUGE line to get in, but with my VIP Pass I got right in! I felt like a rock star, and I was dressed for the part. I ran into Jordan just after I arrived and got to see him, and his friend Mitchell. That's the first I've seen of Jordan since July. Then I ran into my friend Brendan which is always great fun. I also saw Becky who gave me a free drink. I then ran into Pat & his friends, which was nice as Pat was civil and actually spoke to me. I then ran into my friend Charles (who's way hot, sometimes makes out with me - and who got me very stoned on my birthday), and he was in good cheer. I saw my friend Calvin, who gave me the most awesome hug. I then tracked down Corey and I met his friends and chilled with them. It was so good to see Corey, and we fell right into our usual flirting routine. It's really fun for me to be around Corey because he's not shy and loudly gives me rave reviews. lol Preston showed up and Corey met him, which went well. Corey also met Jordan and we 3 danced together (and the music didn't suck, which is beyond rare for a Friday). I tipped the coat check girl even though I didn't give her my jacket, because I think she's sweet. And did I metion that I made out with Charles...with abandon! I thought we'd actually start fucking right there; Corey was impressed, and said he needs to move to Ann Arbor. lol

If all that wasn't enough, I texted Michael earlier in the day, saying I missed him, and happy Halloween. He texted me later saying Happy Halloween back, which I thanked him for, and he told me I was welcome. A nice, civil exchange from a guy I hope I'll be close friends with.

Oh. And I also got a really sweet and supportive message from Sean.

It was a perfect day.

Now that I've showered and typed this out, I'm gonna eat something...and hopefully I'll again escape unscathed from The Cold That EVERYONE Has. lol

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:52 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I ate. I watched some more Will & Grace; I only have the 2 part finale and I'll be done with Season 4. I replied to some e-mails and messages. I watched some Doctor Who highlights. The soundtrack to Season 4 (Season 30) comes out this month, which I'm aching for. I should go to bed, but anytime I try to sleep lately it doesn't really work, so I'm not even trying anymore.

Mark & I might go for a walk later today; we might also go to the bank, but I don't think I'll be up in time for that. I'll probably just go later this week. I was thinking I might work on my webpage sometime today too. I need to scan some old pictures, and I've been putting it off for ages.

I'm listening to Billie Piper sing pops songs. I like them. It's like Rose has a 2nd career as a singer. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:14 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I slept for 4 hours before Mark woke me up around 1pm to see if I wanted to go for our walk, though I'd already told him that I'd be getting up around 3 or 3:30pm. It took me nearly an hour to get back to sleep, and I warned him not to wake me up again. He said he was sorry; I must have looked exhausted...because I was.

I did eventually get back to sleep. I had hot sexy dreams about Charles. I woke up around 6pm; too late to go walking. It's ok though; the weather is supposed to be nicer tomorrow anyways.

I jumped in the shower with Mark and talked about last night and other stuff. Mark asked if I was going to his work party, but I wanted to stay home and eat and work on a cd project for some friends of mine, that I was supposed to have done ages ago. Mark says he's not going to the party now. I feel kind of bad that he's not going now because of me. Perhaps we can put in an appearance later.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:10 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I finished the first volume of what will be a multi-cd project. But then my cd burner, which has been working great, decided it wanted to play dead. Ugh. Thankfully the computer downstairs works fine, and I'm burning that now.

Mark just left for his work party. I was going to suggest that we go after I finished the cd, but my stomach was kind of upset, which Mark knew, so he went without me. My stomach is already starting to settle I think. But I couldn't get ready right now. If we had separate cars (which is impossible at the moment) then I could join him later, which would be neat, but it's too much bother to have him come back and get me and then drive out there again. The economy sucks.

I'm supposed to call Charles tonight, and probably will. Maybe if my stomach feels better later he can come over. And I just noticed that I missed 2 calls from Chris & Mollie, which is understandable as the phone was on vibrate and I was mixing a cd, rather loudly. Oh well.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:11 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [2 Comments]

So I finally sent a message to Michael about being excluded from his myspace & facebook friends list. Hopefully it doesn't get too dramatic. I just thought it was weird, as I didn't realize we weren't friends anymore...like nobody told me. I told him that I needed a break, and I thought that was ok. I didn't think that was going to kill our friendship. I actually took the break to keep the friendship going. Anyways...hopefully that all works out in the end.

According to myspace, Michael has read the message I sent, but he hasn't responded.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:29 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Sunday, November 2, 2008

I got some texts today from this guy Josh, that I met last night at Necto; he was dressed as Sweeny Todd. lol. And very drunk. He was a friend of a friend of Corey's, and I think he actually drove them all to Necto. I think the friend's name was Ryan. Anyways - we're exchanging random texts today. He didn't remember me at first. lol. It's made me giggle all day.

I called Charles earlier, but he was playing a game. He called me back later, but Mark was at his party so I didn't have the car, and he didn't have any gas in his car (or cash) so he let me go to try to track down some funds to come to my place. I told him I'd give him what little cash I have ($4.00 - the rest is in my account) if he made it out here.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:25 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I had an interesting night with Charles. We watched 'Yossi & Jagger', had plenty of conversation, quite a bit of tickling & there was also some wrestling and a pillow fight. It felt like a date. Especially after the previous night in which he offered to fuck me, and made out with me for a couple hours...with some very graphic groping... But we just hung out tonight. It was like we took a big step backward. Odd, but nice. lol In the grand scheme of things...I had another good night, so I'm calling it a win win. :-0)

Charles borrowed "Beautiful Thing" & "Get Real". He also said he doesn't like to kiss, which was confusing after spending the previous night making out like crazy. I think he's probably gay, with bi tendancies, and is in transition, but that's just my opinion. It just seems odd that he's WAY GAY when he's drunk is all. lol. It doesn't matter to me, except that I've been through such transitions and I hope he comes out of it ok.

Also, when I just checked my e-mail, it turns out that the boy that traded texts with me all day, Josh, had tracked me down on myspace.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:19 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I slept today. And then I slept some more. And then I had a headache, so I layed in the dark some more. Aside from the headache part (which didn't really last that long, thaks to my meds) it was a very relaxing day. I was going to go for a walk with Mark today, but that was during the headache faze. Still, I had some really great dreams. I think the half a zombie pill I took on Thursday is wearing off; I always have really intense dreams when they start to wear off.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:14 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I had some great online chat. I ate. My headache threatened to return so I took more Midrin and had a hot shower. I went grocery shopping with Mark; I think we got everything but water. It was a nice quiet day, and a nice quiet outing. I mostly chatted with this hot guy named Trevor; I'm starting to crush on him I think. lol. He's adorable and we have a lot of stuff in common. I've never met him in person though; hopefully that will work out.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:35 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Monday, November 3, 2008

My headache again threatened to return, but I just laid in the dark and thought about stuff. It seemed to help.

I'm a bit stressed about the election, which for better or worse will be over on Tuesday / Wednesday. I know lots of people like to have parties where they follow the election, but I'd rather distract myself from all that and then find out the results when it's all over. That's what I've done in the other elections I've been involved in. I might pay slightly more attention this year...but I won't know until it happens.

It keep thinking I should call Mollie & Chris back from the other day. Mollie's message said if she didn't hear from me that she'd call me back later, but that didn't happen. I can give her a call anytime, day or night and not worry about it. But Chris I don't like to call unless the sun's out. lol. But I always think to call her in the middle of the night.

Oh well.

Perhaps I'll finish Season 4 of 'Will & Grace'?

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:49 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I ate and watched the latest 'Wolverine & the X-Men' episode; I'm really enjoying that toon. I tried watching the 4th Season finale of 'Will & Grace' but I got bored. My headache is again threatening a return visit. Cluster migrains suck ass (and not in a 'Oh God! Your tongue feels so good!' kind of way).

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:52 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Mollie just sent me this link. OMJ! Mashups gone horribly over the line wrong to hilarious effect. lol

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:55 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I read more of Harry Potter 5; I'm now just a little under half way through the longest Potter tome. Mark is getting ready for work. Tomorrow around this time I'll probably be voting.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:56 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

The TRUTH about ACORN.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:09 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

So I read more of Harry Potter 5 before I finally slept; I left off with 388 pages left to go. I slept ok, but I woke up when the phone rang around 3pm. I tried to answer it but I think I somehow poked myself in the eye! I don't really know what exactly happened but I fucked up my eye for awhile, missed the call, and had a hell of time getting back to sleep. I woke up again around 5:30, and stayed up.

I answered some e-mails. I watched the new episode of 'True Blood'. Mark got home. I took a shower and shaved. Mark & I filled out our sample ballots for the election tomorrow; here's how I'm voting:

Presidential:
Barack Obama
Joe Biden

Congressional -
United States Senator:

Carl Levin

Representative in Congress:

John D. Dingell (the lesser of evils)

Legislative: -
Representative in State Ledgislature:

Rebekah Warren (we love her)

In the rest of the partisan sections I'm voting Democrat all the way, except the Libertarian Mayoral candidate, Eric Plourde; I don't really think he has a chance of winning and I don't have a problem with our current mayor, but I like this guy.

In the non partisan sections that had more than one option I'm voting as follows:

Justice of Supreme Court:

Diane Marie Hathaway

Judge of Court of Appeals:

Jane E Markey

& Jane M Beckering

Judge of Circuit Court:

Donald E. Shelton

Judge of District Court:

Chris Easthope

In a couple of those you can pick 2, but I only liked 1 of the candidates and didn't want to give the other guys votes at all.

I'm also voting yes on Proposal 1 & 2 (Medical Marijuana & Stem Cell Research)

Now that I've got that all squared away and highlighted, I'm gonna get something to eat. :-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:12 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

So I had some medical tests done last week; I get the results either tomorrow or Wednesday. That's a bit stressful. Then the election is tomorrow, and that's stressful too. And my health, which depends on a surgery in February that may or may not work - is also stressing me out. And now Mark is worried that he might be fired this week over this stupid snafu at work. Not only do we need that money, but I have my insurance through Mark. We finally got the dentist stuff worked out so I could go get my teeth fixed, which I might only be able to do between now and February, if the surgery doesn't work, and I could lose all that... Mark says there are better jobs out there, but if there is he hasn't found it while he's been working there.

If Mark does get fired, it will be just the opposite of what was expected; he was told he'd be getting a raise this month; a long overdue raise.

I took my half a zombie pill earlier; it's kicking in; I can feel it. I feel kind of hazy...which I'm kind of grateful for now.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:14 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I took a nice nap; I had dreams of seeing my Hollywood coworkers, and borrowing a bed from this girl, who turned out to be Shane from 'The L Word'. ;-0)

I woke up around 4am. I ate. I watched 'Desperate Housewives'. Now I'm going to get dressed and try to make sure I'm ready for the polls. Mark asked me to get him out of bed at 6:30am. The polls open at 7am. Hopefully we can get this part of our day over with. Every vote counts.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:50 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I'm dressed and ready to go. I'm a bit acidy and hope that doesn't become a problem later. I have to wake Mark up in 14 minutes. Erg. I want this day to be over.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:16 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Mark got right up and is getting ready.

About Sarah Jane this season; I'm not loving it as much, but I'm not sure that it has anything to do with the quality of the program; I'm just missing Torchwood & the Doctor - especially after that AMAZING crossover finale with everyone involved - it's just really hard to go from that, to just Sarah and the kids. Still, I'm really looking forward to the final 4 episodes of the season (which start a week from Monday) - and we'll have the Doctor back in less than 2 months for the Christmas Special: "The Next Doctor". Thinking about the Whoniverse calms me down. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:37 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Mark & I voted. It took almost exactly an hour to get through the line. It was very crowded but everyone seemed to be in a good mood; very positive about voting. The voter people that were working did an excellent job, and though at one point the line barely moved for a half hour, they kept it together. We also noted that there were no McCain / Palin signs near the school, but plent of Obama / Biden signs, plus I saw lots of signs for other people I voted for - and all those houses would vote at the same spot, so I think we have that place covered.

Now if the rest of the country can do it's part...that would rock. ;-0)

My stomach didn't bother me at all while I was there but it got a little upset just as we got home. It could have been a lot worse though.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:15 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Wow. The race is going very very well so far!!! The Presidential nominee needs 270 electoral votes to win; McSame currently has 95 of those; while Obama currently has 207!!! Awesome. It also looks like the Dems will win Ohio (though that's not confirmed yet), which is uber-cool, as no Repug candidate has every won the election without taking Ohio. The Dems have also won control of the Senate with several seats still up for grabs (Dems 54 vs. Rep 36). But control of the house is still not decided, though the Dems have the lead there as well (145 vs. the Repug's 90); hopefully we get a majority in everything. :-0)

Also, I tested negative for HIV today. Good news all around. That doesn't cover all my partners, but it cuts out of chunk of them; I'll have to have a followup test in February - but this is a very good first step.

I've been thinking about rereading all of Anne Rice's books, but now that I've dug them out I think I might just reread the ones that I truly loved - or just the ones that I might enjoy rereading, like 'Cry to Heaven' - which I remember loving.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:21 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

It looks like Obama is our President! I've been chatting about it with some friends (including Michael). I'll update when it's all over.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:31 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Wednesday, November 5, 2008

"Remember,
remember the Fifth of November,
The Gunpowder Treason and Plot,
I can think of no reason
Why the Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot."

I should watch 'V for Vendetta'.

Last year at this time I was terribly sick with a cold. I had thought the other day that I worked the last 6 Halloweens but that's not right; I was supposed to work Halloween 2007, but I was ill instead. Glad I'm not sick this year, but it sucks that my Hollywood is gone. :-0(

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:14 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [2 Comments]

   Thursday, November 6, 2008

And it's still not over. I mean, President Obama is with us (yay!), but the senate seats are still being counted (we have at least 56), and we (Dems) had 254 house seats last time I checked. Sadly, it also appears that Prop 8 passed in California which is a travesty of justice. No minorities rights should be decided by a majority vote. That's just insane!

I got a flu shot yesterday. I also went to the bank. I got crazy bread from little caesars. It was all good. All with Mark. We had interesting if somewhat aggrivating conversation...and some nice quality Mark/Jason time. This always makes us smile.

Later, while chatting online, I encountered Will. Will is a really nice guy, about to celebrate his 3 year anniversery with his boyfriend. He used to work at LC when he was like 14, and Mark & I were still a couple. He said that Mark & I were the first gay people he ever met and that this was before he'd accepted his own gayness, and that we'd left a huge impression on him. That rocks. :-0)

The chatting was nice. I read more Harry Potter; I'm on page 667 of 870. I don't feel like reading now though...and I'm bored and tired.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:47 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [1 Comments]

I'm bored.

I had a really terrible migrain this morning. My pills weren't killing it. The hot shower didn't help. The neck massage didn't help. I took more pills, jammed earplugs in my ears, and hid away from all the light until I passed out; dead to the world. It was terrible. I had good dreams though. Like so good that I woke up during a key moment with a rock hard erection.

Speaking of which, I just finished another page of pix on my website. Be warned though; the page is extremely graphic. See it here.

I woke up around 8pm. Mark was still not home. I picked up some of the clutter in my room. I answered e-mails. I hopped online to find friends...but found nearly nobody. I talked to Mark on the phone.

And now I'm bored.

I tried to download the new Who soundtrack but it keeps getting fouled up. Hopefully Mark can help me when he finally gets home.

DJ's party is tomorrow - Hurray!

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:51 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Saturday, November 8, 2008

Friday morning, after not sleeping, I got Mark up and drove him to work. I came home; got ready for bed; watched the latest Smallville episode, which was pretty good, and then tried to sleep. It was nearly 11am when I finally slept. Before I fell asleep I plugged in my alarm clock and set it to get me up at 3:30pm. I woke at the first chime and set about baking 70 some chocolate chip cookies for DJ's party. When the cookies were finished I shaved and showered. I made sure I had the birthday cards for DJ & Bryan (DJ's was a few days ago, Bryan's is next week), the cookies, a cd for the car... I had everything and then some. Mark had called and was meeting me at LC; I've had this craving for crazy bread latley. The bread was good and we got to the party on time.

The party was so much fun. DJ, Michael & Emily, Ben & his gf Laurie, Mike Pangborn, Bill, Amanda, Linda, Janel, Bryan, Chris, Bill, John, Andrea, Joe, Kent & Alex were there. I feel like I'm forgetting someone; possibly more than one, but I'm tired and they'll have to forgive me. lol It was so great to see everyone again. I had a blast. There was food and laughter, and a bonfire, and euchre (I played and won 3 games) and darts, and pool. It was all good. And there were many great hollywood memories, and stories about those that couldn't make it to the party.

But I was tired through most of it, and I called it a night around 11:30pm. Many people had already left, and others were leaving at the same time as us. If I'd had the energy I would have stayed though. I love DJ & the gang. :-0)

When I got home, I hopped on gay.com, hoping that my I-Don't-Know-You-But-You're-Hot-As-Fuck crush would be on, as he's not been all week...and he WAS! We had a nice chat, and he wasn't disturbed that I had a crush on him, and he likes me, and we had much to discuss that all went well. Hopefully I'll see him soon. :-)

After that conversation, and a few others that were also lovely, I went to sleep. It was freezing in my room which is rare, but it felt good to get under the covers and rest, but I only slept for like 2 hours.

While writing this, some guy pvted me on gay.com, and asked me what I was doing. I told him I was writing in my blog. He then asked if I had an online journal. I pointed out that this is what a blog is, so yes I do have one. Then he got all bitchy and bemoaned that the days of keeping your thoughts to yourself are over (when anyone who wants to can write a private journal anytime they like) and then said "btw, I know what a blog is." - well then why the fuck did he ask!?! Ugh. The conversation, if you can call it that, continued for awhile afterward, in which he made no sense. I'm guessing he was drunk. I recognized his picture; I've seen him at Necto several times over the last few years. The first time I encountered him though was on the street outside the bar at closing time, when he drunkenly grabbed my hand and shoved it down his pants. Yeah. Real winner, that one. He is really gorgeous though; just apparently really stupid as well.

So I'm awake. I read the first 25 pages of 'Cry to Heaven', having finished Harry Potter 5 Friday morning. It's odd reading 'Cry to Heaven' again. I've think I've read it twice, but not in at least a decade. Yet I remember so much of it, and so much of the book makes me remember what and how I was when I read it the first time; I remember buying the book and how happy I was to own it. All those kinds of things come rushing back.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:48 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Still awake. I made some animated gifs of me sucking off one of my ex-boyfriends. It amused me.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:42 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Sunday, November 9, 2008

Before going to bed I uploaded one of my new animated gif to my gay.com profile. Mark suggested I used the simpler one so I switched them. I'll post them both here. They're really graphic though; sorry if these freak anyone out; they're of me sucking off one of my thick dicked ex-boyfriends - I'll put some Warning space in to shield the uninterested:

WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS

This was the first one I posted, which Mark said showed better technique. lol. But he said the simpler one would probably be better.

WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS
WARNING - X RATED BITS

Which brings us to this one. I like them both. ;-0)

I slept from around 11am (on Saturday) - 3pm. Mark & I got dressed and went to visit my dad. We fixed a problem with his phone; he hadn't really broken it; he just didn't understand it that well, which is to be expected. We took him to Abe's Coney Island and talked for awhile. I was obviously really tired so we didn't stay long. Mark dropped me off at home; I went right to sleep. Mark went to rent some movies at 'Family Video'. I woke up around 9pm.

I got up. Mark & I went to Kroger and Little Caesars. It was fun. I ate. I had slept. I felt good. But my pills made me sleepy again so I again napped. I woke up around 1:30am. Been up ever since.

Oh. I also exchanged e-mails with my ex-roomie Roberta, and she sent me these amazing old pictures of us circa 1994. Like...my birthday 1994. My 20th Birthday. Crazy. To see Paul, and Tony, & Bert and everyone. It's just...wow. I'll probably post them on my myspace page.

And I'm chatting with two online friends, and both of them surprise me with names from the past. One asked me about Brad that worked at Meijer with Mollie, Karen, Adam, Carrie, Bill, Mark & I. The other went to school with Sean Mobley! Crazy! lol

Anyways - that's all for now.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:24 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I'm having another really bad migrain. The changing of the seasons is usually when this happens, so I shouldn't have been surprised...but I was. Oh well. It could be worse. It could be worse. I keep telling myself that.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:15 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

My headache is still alive and kicking, though it's muted slightly by the drugs. Ugh. This sucks.

I updated a bunch of myspace stuff; adding more than 40 pictures and creating new albums for Mollie, Shawn Foreman & Hollywood Video peeps. I tagged all the pictures; all that shit. I reopened Michael's album. It took a long time, but I feel like I've accomplished something. I feel good about it all now.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:48 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Ok. Something unfortunate just happened. Back at the very start of November I searched for my ex-bf Michael's myspace page to find out when his birthday was. I'd looked for it the week before but couldn't find it, but I was in a hurry that day. I was pretty sure his birthday was either the 7th or the 9th, but I couldn't remember which one. I knew that it was shortly before we had met last year. I have a terrible time remembering peoples' birthdays, which is one of the things that I love about myspace - it reminds me of the birthdays of my friends. Only thing was, Michael's profile was nowhere to be found in my friends list. I knew now that I hadn't just randomly missed it; it was gone. I thought maybe he had deleted his account, only I did a search for it, and found it, only it was now set on private and I wasn't allowed in. Great. That hurt. Then I tried his Facebook page; same result. I was no longer a friend. And this realization came just after we had exchanged a friendly 'Happy Halloween' text. It just seemed extreme, as I didn't even know we weren't friends anymore.

I'm shaking.

Anyways, I'd seen in his other online journal something about a Halloween Party, which I wasn't invited too, but I decided to not knock him for it. I mean, I had a great Halloween on my own, and I most likely wouldn't have gone to his party anyways. I sent him this message on November first:

Nov 1, 2008 8:22 PM
Subject: Are We Not Friends Anymore?

I had looked for you on myspace last week and didn't find you, but I just assumed I had overlooked you somehow. But it says here we're not friends. And facebooks says the same thing. I know I didn't delete you. I know I said I needed a break, but I didn't expect to be excommunicated. lol

I hope your Halloween party was a hit! I had a surprisingly good time myself. Thanks again for the civil Halloween Message Exchange. It made me smile. I wasn't sure you'd respond.

jason

I was really proud of myself for not making a big deal about the Halloween party. I didn't mention that I hadn't been invited. I didn't berate him, or attack him. I thought I had handled this all with a good amount of class. And I thought that maybe taking the high road would get me through this unexpected drama with Michael before it got out of hand. I was trying so hard to remain positive.

Now, on myspace, when you send a message you can see if the person that you sent it to read the message or not. Later I checked and Michael had read the message, but had chosen not to respond. Again, I thought this was rude and this hurt my feelings, but I chose not to bitch about it. I mentioned it in my blog, but didn't go on about it. And that was that.

On Tuesday Michael was on yahoo messenger, which was odd in and of itself. I used to see him on yahoo and AIM all the time, but I hadn't seen him on either in months, and I started thinking that maybe he had silently changed his screen names when he'd dropped me as a friend. This made me smile, to see him on. We talked about the election as we watched highlights on tv and CNN. It was nice.

This morning, still not having a reply to my myspace message, and still feeling confused about where we stood, I sent him another message. I was excited to show him a project that he had a hand in inspiring; I thought he'd be amused. But I didn't want to pretend that the other message hadn't been sent (and read). This is the message that I sent this morning:

Nov 9, 2008 5:52 AM

So you never responded to my message, though you read it, so I'm assuming you don't want to be friends with me anymore; at least on myspace and facebook, as you did talk to me about the election on Tuesday - which would imply that you don't hate me or anything. That's completely your choice and that's fine I guess. It would have been nice for a heads-up though.

So far so good right? I mean I wasn't bitching, or cruel. The last sentence is a bit edgy, but there were circumstances. I mean the guy dropped me from his friend lists with no warning, and then didn't respond when I asked what was going on. So I thought I was still taking the high road.

In the next section of the myspace message, I told him about the project he'd helped create and the rave reviews the project has gotten. There is absolutly nothing negative in this section, but I can't include it as to do so would break a confidence with a friend, which I won't do. But it was all polite and cheerful.

I closed the message with:

I hope you are well.

None of this strikes me as a problem. I didn't really expect a reply after the last message, but I sort of wished I'd get one. I guess I should have been more careful about that wish. A few hours later I got this response:

Nov 9, 2008 11:35 AM

nice of you to send me this negative message on my birthday... thanks.

-mike-

Ok. Now, first of all, I didn't think the message was negative at all; in fact I hoped it would be seen as a positive message. I've been trying to keep this situation, hurtful as it's been, as drama free as possible. 2ndly, I didn't know it was his birthday, because he dropped me from his friends list! And when I broached him about the subject, hoping that it was a mistake that would be corrected I was ignored.

I responded thusly:

Nov 9, 2008 11:52 AM

I didn't realize that any of this was negative. It was your decision to not be friends on here and I haven't badgered you about it. And I did know your birthday was in early November, but one of the reasons I had looked for your myspace page was so it would remind me of your birthday, only to find (frustratingly) that I was no longer listed as a friend.

Happy Birthday. Seriously.

I didn't mean to upset you.

Bald Jason

Hopefully this will clear up the problem. I had not intended for there to be any trouble between us, and I've gone out of my way to show that I still want to be friends without confessing how much his behavior has hurt me. I really did want everything to be ok. I really thought I was doing good here.

I'm so exhausted. And my head just keeps throbbing. I just hope he knows how much I still care about him, and that I didn't intend to upset him. According to myspace he has read this final message, though he hasn't responded. Hopefully he will accept the message in the spirit it was given. And I honestly hope he has a fantastic birthday!

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:32 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I just got a lovely voicemail from my old roomie Roberta. It's the little things I treasure that I need to smile about and set the drama aside. That's been my goal for the last few years. I sometimes forget. This morning has been all about remembering and forgetting to remember, and oddly, remembering to forget.

"and the sky is filled with light
can you see it?
all the black is really white
if you believe it
and the longing that you feel
you know none of this is real
you will find a better place
in this twilight" - NIN

Ok. I think the pain is probably dull enough that I can maybe sleep. I'll give it a try. Wish me luck. But be specific in the wishing.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:48 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Monday, November 10, 2008

I got some sleep last night; got up around 7am. I had a really nice chat with my grandmother. I saw Mark off to work. Mark & I cuddled for a little while last night and talked, and very nearly slept in the same bed. I don't like to do that with Mark though. For 3 years we shared a bed, and when we broke up, I found it nearly intolerable to sleep alone. Now I don't have that problem, and though I sometimes share my bed with others (indeed, one month ago today I was asleep in my bed in Sean's arms), and while I have no troubles sleeping with Mark on a vacation, here, I guess I try to protect myself from ever needing him like that again.

I watched the new 'Brothers & Sisters' and 'Desperate Housewives' which were both good. I also, on impulse, downloaed the first few episodes of "LOST". I've never watched the show, and always planned to wait to see if the show ended well before viewing it. But this morning, finally, I let myself watch that first episode. I didn't get sucked into it the way I probably would have if I'd seen it when it was new, but now that it's over I do want some answers. The question is if they will ever be answered. It's that kind of thing that has prevented me from watching it. It seems an awful lot like the X-Files; not the premise of it, but the whole 'mythology' of it and all the questions...and I'm just afraid no answers will really be given and I'll feel like I wasted my time with it. For now I'm entertained, and that's fine...for now. I need to see the lastest 'True Blood' episode!

There's snow outside. There was snow outside yesterday, but in my hibernation I never saw it. It's cold and damp. It's that time of year where I generally try to stay inside and avoid all that exists outside. The last month or two I'd enjoyed leaving the condo for walks. Hopefully I'll get back to that in the spring time; I'm not really a winter person. I like the beauty of snow, and the cold can be like an exotic vacation, but I get tired of it fast.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:53 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I watched the new 'True Blood' & 3 more episodes of 'Lost'; all of the tv was good. I'm loving 'True Blood' and I'm a little bummed that there are only 2 more episodes this season. With 'Lost', I can see why the show was such a hit now; there are some nice twists and turns, I'm going to keep watching it.

I slept from 4pm-9pm. I didn't intend to. Part of it was my pill, I'm sure. The other part was not sleeping a straight 8 hours last night. It doesn't upset me that I'm on this split shift sort of sleeping cycle; it's just weird. lol

I could go to Necto tonight, but I don't really want to. I feel like staying in. I need to make a doctor's appointment tomorrow. I need to make a dentist appointment tomorrow. I hate making appointments; they kind of stress me out, but it's necessary.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:34 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I just caught up on the last 3 episodes of 'The Sarah Jane Adventures'. I hadn't been enjoying this season as much as the last, but these last 3 episodes were better, and everything I've heard about the final 4 sounds great.

That's a lot of television in one day. I'm going to eat, and get some housework done, to balance that out. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:28 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I watched more 'Will & Grace'; finishing off Season 4, and starting Season 5. I'm still planning on continuing with 'Lost' but I have all this 'Will & Grace' on my computer which I can delete if I just watch it.

I did the dishes this morning, before driving Mark to work. I went to my doctor's office to make an appointment only to find there weren't really any openings and that my doctor is leaving mid-November. Then I went to my dentist's office and updated them on some paperwork concerning my insurance and billing information before making an appointment for tomorrow morning; a cleaning. Then I tracked down the doctor's office where Mark gets treated and made an appointment there for tomorrow afternoon.

Now I'm home. There's some snow outside but it's not terrible. I may go for a walk.

Last night I got a message on facebook from my friend Pat, who's now living in New York. He said that he read in my blog that I've started watching 'Lost'. I didn't even know that he read my blog, so that was a nice surprise. I just kind of write stuff here, not really expecting anyone to read it. The only people that really leave me comments are Mark & Mollie, and that's fine. But it appears I have more readers than I knew...which is cool.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:40 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [2 Comments]

I watched more 'Will & Grace' season 5. I delete them from my computer as I watch them; making room for 'Lost'. I'm just under halfway through Season 5 of W&G. Pat & Mike both offered to loan me Season 3 of 'Lost', but I'll get it from Mike. It will be easier to get and return that way, and it will also be easier to watch it in my room, as Pat's copy is BluRay and I'd have to watch it downstairs.

I was a little late picking Mark up from work, which was fine as he was busy. I spoke to my older sister on the phone. She's doing well, and is enjoying teaching, though she doesn't have a lot of time. She also wants to hang on to the Doctor Who dvds I've loaned her; she sounds like she truly wants to watch them, which makes me smile. She's giving back the disc with 'Blink' on it so that Mike can borrow it, but she's already seen those episodes anyways. She also told me that our Great Aunt Laura, who was fine yesterday morning, is in a coma. I'll have to call our grandmother and find out what's going on there. I like Laura; she's always been kind to me.

Mark & I went to the bank, and LC. We were both getting headaches. I took my meds, but it's getting worse. Lately, my headaches, when I have them, have been far worse than they usually are. Hopefully this one will be gone soon enough.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:47 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Wednesday, November 12, 2008

I tried to sleep last night, but I didn't have any luck. My stomach was upset most of the night, for no apparent reason. Maybe it just wanted to piss me off.

I drove Mark to work this morning, then headed back home, where I had a snack and watched still more 'Will & Grace'. I spoke to my grandma on the phone, and apparently the big scare concerning my Great Aunt Laura was a big nothing; she's fine; that was good news. I made it to my dentist appointment on time. The cleaning went well. And my dentist (who always sounds really, really stoned) nearly wept when he heard about the condition that has kept me from going to the office. He, and his assitants, helped me plan out this great battle strategy so that I could get all my dental work done by February, in case the sugery's a bust and I go back to being severely fucked up... Only thing is, the insurance doesn't seem to work the way Mark thought it did, and this means I most likely won't be able to get the stuff done. I'm so beyond disappointed at the moment.

I was going to get pizza between my dentist and doctor's appointment, but by the time I left I didn't feel I had the time so I came home for another snack and wrote this. My doctor's appointment is in less than an hour. Maybe I'll get pizza on the way home, but I'm thinking it would probably be best to just come home and sleep at that point since I have to be awake to pick up Mark, and we have to go this stupid video store.

I'm glad I got my teeth cleaned; I love the way they feel just after... But a good portion of my day seems to be sucking.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:40 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Just got off the phone with Mark. Things are different than we thought...and worse. I probably won't be able to get my dental work done, and if I do...Mark won't be able to get his done. Part of me thinks I should get it done if I can because in February things might go back to how they were before and I won't be able to go to the dentist anyways. But another part of me thinks that if things are gonna suck for me then, they might as well start now. And I want Mark to be able to go to the dentist too, otherwise I'll feel guilty.

I could so easily curl up and go to sleep right now.

I need to go to my doctor's appointment.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:56 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Just got home from my doc appointment. I'm so exhausted...and I had a bright light shined into my eyes by the resident so now I've got a blinding migrain. I took my midrin as soon as I walked into the door. I'm going to lay down and see if I can't get a quick nap in before I have to pick up Mark at 6pm. Blah.

But my doctor's visit, long and annoying as it was held good news. They did some tests though. Hopefully that's all clear too. A hot (& I'm guessing severely gay) man took my blood and urine - that's kind of like a date, isn't it?

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:46 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Thursday, November 13, 2008

Today is Mollie's birthday! Happy Birthday Mollie!

I only got about 40 minutes of sleep between my last entry and when I went to pick up Mark. It mostly got rid of my headache though. We went to LC again; this time I actually got Pizza. Yum. While waiting for a food I left a message with this cute boy I have a crush on; hopefully that goes well. We came home and watched an episode of 'Batman Beyond'. Then I went to bed around 7:30pm. I woke up a little after 1am. I chatted online to much amusement, but I left my fun people so I could write this. I'm gonna bake some cookies now and mow on them while I read or watch 'Lost' or something.

Oh. I also came to the conclusion that I couldn't continue reading 'Cry to Heaven'. I'm not really reliving the book itself so much as my life while reading it. I don't know how to separate the two. And that's not what I was hoping for. I might read 'Son of a Witch' now...or some Star Trek or Star Wars book. I'm really not sure. Whatever I pick up I suppose.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:06 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I slept some after the last entry. Mark actually woke me up. I drove Mark to work, then came back home and started doing laundry. I made my bed. My room still looks messy though. I need to clean it some more. Get rid of all this clutter.

I chatted online for awhile. I got lost reading the news when this guys pvted me. His screen name was "Tinman77". He was on my hotlist, so I'd definitely chatted with him before, and I'd liked him - which seems pretty amazing to me now. He told me that he wanted to fuck me. BAD <- in all caps just like that. He said that he felt like I had changed my mind about him or something. And he seemed upset about this. Now, bear in mind that I couldn't remember the last time I'd chatted with this guy (aside from a brief hello a few days ago), so I felt no connection to him at this point, and was slightly disturbed at the implication that we'd had somekind of ongoing online romance, and I have a huge crush on someone else. I told him about the crush...and he persisted in asking if I was interested in him. I told him that I wasn't and I asked if that was a problem? He told me that he'd just wasted a year of his life trying to get into my pants (a clear sign that cared about me) and that I had just changed my mind out of the blue so yeah, that's a problem. He said that he hoped that I'd find what I was looking for, but in the context of all the other things he said it didn't seem like a positive. I told him I hoped he'd fuck off. Then things got scary. He told me that he hoped that the boy I want to fuck me gives me AIDS(!?!). He said more, but I kept closing the window. I blocked him from messaging me and brought it up in open chat, thinking that he'd be less likelly to insult me in open chat, but instead he claimed he hadn't said those things - he lied. Thankfully someone came to my defense and said he was unstable. They also said some other stuff about him that I can't reprint here, but suffice it to say - the guy is a liar and would have hurt me if he could have. And I don't know what he must have said to me in the past to get me to like him. He's kind of ugly. And now that I've seen what he's really like...he's a lot ugly. He's an ugly person. And he scares me. I made a note on his profile for myself to remind me of this if I ever forget, but now that I've written it all out I'm guessing I won't.

Anyways...I needed to write that out. I'm still shaking.

I'm gonna take a nap. Try to get some sleep before I have to pick up Mark, so I can be awake to visit my family.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:16 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Friday, November 14, 2008

My nap was brief after the last message, yet I only woke up based on luck as I forgot to turn on my alarm clock. But all went well and Mark & I got to visit with Gradma & Grandpa, Great-Aunt Laura & Great-Uncle Ed, Mom, Janice, Jamie, Jillian, Jonathan, and later on we saw Justin and Jordan for a minute. We went to the video store after that to return Mark's movies; we rented 3 more, all for $2-something. We rented "Gangs of New York", "Closer" & "Star Wars: Clone Wars".

I went right to bed when I got home. I was tired, and I hadn't felt very good all day. I woke up about an hour later with some major cramping. My stomach, which has mostly been really good lately, seems to have decided that it needs to be a bitch about now. I'm in pain, and I'm tired, and I'm sort of grumpy.

During our visit, Janice openly badgered me about getting a job. I talked to Mark about this in the car. A serious talk. There is a lot of stuff going on that I'm not ready to talk about yet. Suffice it to say that things are not ok with me at the moment, and they could potentially be far worse in the near future. It meant a lot to me that I could talk about these things with Mark, who has stood by me in so very many stressing times.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:07 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I slept for about 4 hours. I had a bizarre dream about masturbating. lol. Like I couldn't stop. I woke up amused. And a bit dehydrated. I'm drinking water now, and I'm going to eat in a few minutes. I need make sure I eat at least 3 meals today; I haven't been doing that lately.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:23 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Saturday, November 15, 2008

I watched "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" yesterday. It was ok. It was like the new series, which is understandable, as it's just the first 3 episodes of that series edited together and then released theatrically. I think it's mostly lame though, and I can see why it bombed. And it was annoying that the Hutt villain was made to seem gay. He had a weird lisp thing going on, and he wore some kind of feathery head thing. Whatever.

Yesterday was ok. Not much to report. I slept really well in the evening. I went to Necto to see Sarry, but it was mostly lame, and I sort of regret going.

The highlight of my night was chatting with Trevor. That's the guy I have a crush on. He's so cute, sexy, funny, yummy, and we get along really well so far. Of course we've not met in person yet so this might all be for nothing. But I'm enjoying it so far. Crushes are fun. We seem to have a good amount of stuff in common. Plus he's 28 I think, which is way closer to my age than I've been dating, and that could be very helpful too. He's a great guy. I hope it works out.

The final book in the Destiny Trilogy shipped today, so I'm guessing it will be here on Tuesday. Doctor Who Season 30 (or 4) shipped too. Yay. I'm going to start reading 'Debt of Bones' tonight. It's a prequel to Terry Goodkind's "Sword of Truth" series, which Sean & his father (Ted) used to rave about. So, I'm giving it a shot. If I like it, I'll get the next book and see how I like that, and so on. There are 12 books in the series, all together. We'll see how I like it. I've only enjoyed a handful of fantasy series (Velgarth, Xanth, Harry Potter); I'm kind of picky about stuff that I read. But the prequel book is really a novella and is quite short. I figured this would be a harmless way to check out the series.

Speaking of Velgarth, there are 2 new books in the series coming out this year; the first of which is already out in hardcover ("Collegium Chronicles, Book 1: Foundation", but given the reviews I'm gonna wait for paperback. The 2nd is a 4th collection of stories: "Moving Targets and other Tales of Valdemar". To read about how I came to this series of stories, check out this link.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:13 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I just updated a bunch of pages on my website. Some of it was minor, while a lot of it was stuff I should have updated ages ago but never thought to do it. I like it when I get to update my site like that. I've been considering other updates. It makes me smile. I'm such a geek. lol

I saw a bootleg copy of the new Star Trek Trailer - I originally posted a link to it here, but it's been removed from the site. It looks enjoyable enough; the movie. As long as it follows the story outline that I've read about I'm pretty sure I'll enjoy it. Oh. Here's a new link to the youtube bootleg trailer.

Did I mention that Trevor is a Star Trek fan? Because he is. :-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:49 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I didn't sleep much today.

I did however talk on the phone with Trevor, which went very well.

And now I'm chatting with him. Which is going very well.

And I watched more 'Will & Grace'; got 3 episodes left in Season 5.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:24 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Sunday, November 16, 2008

Just got done chatting with Trevor. All things are good. But I need to sleep.

I want to see this movie

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:56 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I went right to sleep after the last entry, but I only slept for about 4 hours. I had scary nightmares, but they didn't haunt me after I woke. Sometimes when I have nightmares they freak me out for awhile after I wake up, but these just seemed silly afterwards.

When I realized I couldn't back to sleep, I had a snack and organized stuff on my computer. Then I wrote this. I'm gonna take another crack at sleep, but if it doesn't seem like it's gonna happy I think I'll probably clean a bit.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:01 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Still awake. I watched another 'Will & Grace'; 2 more episodes left in Season 5. I did some more laundry. I worked on my room collage for the first time in months; I put up 7 more pictures and may do more after I get some cleaning done... Probably not though. I do need to sleep at some point. I have my music playing at random and 'The Hanging Garden' by the Cute just started playing. :-0)

It snowed this morning. There's snow outside. But so far this morning, aside from some annoying stomach problems, has been good. I took my half a zombie pill, so I might start feeling weird soon. Hopefully it takes care of my stomach troubles though.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:00 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Just after the last entry, I got up to get some more cleaning done, but Trevor messaged me on yahoo. I was invisible mode so I didn't know how he saw me, but then he was just leaving me a message. lol. I told him what I was up to, and then he let me go so I could get stuff done. He's so sweet.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:16 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Monday, November 17, 2008

So I cleaned much of my room yesterday. I emptied the trash. I did more laundry. Mark cleaned the shower. I watched the new X-Men episode, and finished off season 5 of Will & Grace. I went to bed around 4:30pm and woke up around 10:30pm. I chatted with Trevor for over an hour, even though he had intended to go to bed earlier. He told me that I'm easy to talk to and that he's told me things in our conversations that he's never told people before. I used to get that a lot, but it's actually been a long while since anyone has said that to me. It felt good. I went back to bed aroun 1:30am. I woke up around 4:30am. I read the news. And I found a new Harry Potter 6 Trailer. I'm really excited about this movie, but the trailer didn't make me more excited. In fact I think they probably should have waited a few months before releasing this one, unless there will be more between now & JULY, when the movie will actually be released.

The entire time I slept, both times, I was listening to my music on random play; that's over 12,000 songs. It's always fun to hear what I have, and it often surprises me. It makes my dreams amusing too.

Trevor is interested in watching an episode of "Doctor Who". I currenty have the disc with "Blink" on it, and I think that's the best Doctor Who episode to get someone to watch the show, because not only is it a fantastic, stand-alone episode - it's also from the perspective of someone who isn't familiar with The Doctor, and so it explains all that stuff to the audience as the episode goes on. But...I'll probably be giving this disc to Michael Anderson some time this week, so maybe I'll have Trevor over sometime this week? I'm thinking about it.

My copy of the new Star Trek Book, and Season 4 (or 30) of Doctor Who should be here on Tuesday. The animated Doctor Who adventure, "The Infinite Quest" should also be here this week.

I haven't heard from Mollie in over a week. I should try to get in touch with her today. Sounds good.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:13 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I watched the new episodes of 'True Blood' & 'Brothers & Sisters'. I'm probably gonna eat soon. I might take a nap. But I'd really like to get some more cleaning done today.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:42 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I watched the movie "Closer". I enjoyed it a great deal. A guy once told me that he didn't like the film because he couldn't imagine anyone being that cruel to another person. To which I responded that from his statement, that he'd never dated a man. The statement stands. The truth hurts. And so does my head; I need some fucking pain killer. lol

Oh. I didn't end up reading 'Debt of Bones' this weekend. It will have to wait until I finish the new Trek book.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:09 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I've been cleaning. I sorted a bunch of e-mail (my computer is almost as cluttered as the rest of the condo). I scrubbed the toilet and the bathroom sink. I picked up some of the clutter in the living room. I did some laundry. I emptied the dishwasher, rinsed the dirty dishes we have and loaded them into the dishwasher. And now I'm writing this; listening to my lovely mixed music ('Shell Shock' by New Order) & trying to decide what to tackle next.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:25 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I took a break from cleaning. I played Marvel Ultimate Alliance. I've beat the game a dozen times, but I've always kind of wandered though it; this time I'm trying to beat it as quickly as possible to see how fast I can finish it. I'm in the last world and I'm 3 hours under the last game I played.

I've got more towels in the dryer and I'm starting another load of clothes in the washer. I've picked up more trash and sorted some more clutter downstairs. I confirmed my dentist appointment for Wednesday (10:30am). My eyes hurt despite the visine I used, and I'm getting tired.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:12 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I think I'm mostly done for the day. Everywhere I cleaned is much improved. I should take out the trash, but I just shaved and showered... I didn't shave my face though; Trevor has a thing for facial hair. I'm tempted to crawl into bed and plummet into dreams. I'm also tempted to call Trevor and see what he's doing tonight; maybe we can do the Doctor Who thing. Or maybe tomorrow would be better? I don't know. I don't think I'm thinking clearly. lol

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:58 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I talked to Trevor last night, on the phone, and later online. He told me more about his job. We're still getting to know each other. I invited him over for Doctor Who and he's planning to come over tonight after he gets out of work, so sometime around 5pm.

I went to bed between 9 & 10pm I think. I woke up around 3:30am. I read my e-mail, read the news, and beat my Marvel Ultimate Alliance game. The previous time I beat it it took 8 hours & 12 minutes. This time, while trying to faster, I beat it in 4 hours and 35 minutes. Nice. ;-0)

I left Mollie a voicemail yesterday, but I haven't heard back from her. I hope alls well with Mollie. Most likely we've both just got nothing going on to talk about. lol

Oh. And Trevor likes games, so I might invite him to our next Alien vs. Predator LAN party.

To see the official release of the new Star Trek trailer, head over here.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:54 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

My jaw is bugging me. And I'm sort of sleepy. I think I might go back to bed. I just don't want to be tired tomorrow when I have to drive Mark to work in the morning and then go to the dentist.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:07 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I watched the latest Sarah Jane epsiode, which mostly rocked, and then I went to sleep. I woke up around 10am. Mark was gone, but he apparently cleaned the ceiling in the bathroom before he went to work. Good for him! :-)

I'm going to attempt to eat. Wish me luck.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:39 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

The latest season of Doctor Who arrived at my door today. It was a treat to watch the special features. The deleted scenes were great, and there's this really amazing documentary about the 4 year run of the new series with lots of attention paid to the first season - I choked up a couple of times. I'm not hanging on to the season though. DJ & Mike are both gonna borrow it right off.

I vacumed the hallway, a bit of my room again, the stairs and part of the living room. I cleaned off my desk, and a bit more of the clutter in my room. I did more laundry. My last load is in the dryer right now.

I chatted with Mark briefly.

Still grooving on my tunes.

I've been sneezing from the dust. I'll take a shower when I'm finished with everything. I still need to finish that laundry, clean off my dresser, make my bed, and start a load of dishes. I think that's all I'm to. Then a shower, and I'll shave my head.

Hopefully see Trevor later.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:39 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I got everything done. Well, my whites are in the dryer, but everything is finished. My room looks good. Everything looks good. I'm all mellow, cause I felt the stirrings of a headache and stamped it out but good. I'm shaven and showered. And it's all for nothing. Trevor had to cancel because of a work snafu. Damn those working people...and their stupid work. lol.

Oh well.

Now I'm sitting here, feeling sort of stoned. Horny. Disappointed. He felt bad, which helps. lol. I probably wouldn't be able to see him tomorrow night because I'm gonna be on major pain killer because of the dental work and my jaw being a total bitch. Maybe Thursday or Friday?

My new Star Trek book should be here today. Maybe I'll just dive into that. Don't know. I'll be fine. I was just looking forward to seeing the guy in person is all. :-0(

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:53 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Actually, I checked, and though my Trek book was supposed to be here today. It might not be. Damn it.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:33 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I've been chatting on gay.com for the last hour or so...to distract me. And I swear I've never been hit on by so many guys so quickly. I turned them all down though. Most of them just wanted to fuck. And while some may have wanted something more, I'm not in the mood. I find it hard to 'play the field' even when I'm single. It's just not for me. I meet a guy. I try things out with him. If it works that's great. If it doesn't I wait for the next guy. But I find it hard to try out more than one guy at a time. I've learned I'm rather odd in this regard...and I'm ok with that. lol. Ugh. Here's another one. Still, it's very flattering and is making me feel good.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:56 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Yay! My book just arrived!

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:10 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I read the first 85 pages of my book before Mark got home with food. We ate as I showed Mark the Doctor Who extras. Then I got a phone call from Trevor. I don't know how long we talked but Mark said it was about 3 hours; not sure if he was kidding or not; we did seem to chat a long time. We're gonna try for Saturday night now. I really enjoy talking to him; I learn more and more about him every time.

I went to bed shortly after finishing our conversation, and reading a few more chapters in my book. I don't know what time it was. I think it was around 10pm, but I'm not really sure. I woke up around 1am with severe abdominal pain. I think I'm just rally really constipated. I get that way sometimes on my own, and then my Cymbalta (which I took half of the other day) also causes that. And I had some cheese bread last night. Add to that discomfort that I missed a dose of prilosec and I'm heaving loads of pure acid and you get how tonight has morphed into a truly hellish experience.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:53 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [1 Comments]

I got back to sleep, for 2 hours, woke up in pain again. I'm feeling better now though. Hopefully I can get enough sleep that I can be awake in the morning.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:57 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

After the last entry, I slept for a few more hours. Woke up hungry. Ate. Drove Mark to work. Went to my dentist appointment to work out some financial drama, solved then, then spent 2&1/2 hours getting old silver fillings replaced with new white porcelain. And I finally got to put dental dams to the purpose they were created for. lol. They had to give me about 10 shots, so my face is still very numb. My eye is numb. It's weird. And I think I'm warming to my dentist. He's odd. But it's ok.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:20 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Nearly 3 hours after my last post, my face is still numb. It's better than it was, but damn. lol

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:52 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Thursday, November 20, 2008

Wenesday evening, I picked up Mark from work ontime (6pm). The left side of my face was still numb at that point. Mark wasn't ready to leave work, so I called my sister Janice and talked to her about us visiting our father next month. Then I called Michael Anderson and left him a message about some Doctor Who DVDS. Then I called DJ, who is always a joy to talk to! He's stopping by today to pick up Season 4 of Doctor Who. And finally I called Trevor. I'd missed some messages from him, as my phone had nearly died earlier and I had to charge it. We talked for a few hours, as we seem to do everytime we talk. It's nice. It's a simple joy that provides much laughter, and stirs other emotions. I let him go around 9pm I think. I had a light snack, spoke to Mark for a bit, and then went to bed. My face was no longer numb at that point, but my jaw ached from being held fully open for so long. Just before going to bed I watched "Silence in the Library [Part I]".

I woke up around 5am...so I got at least 6 hours of sleep. That's nice. It seems I've been only getting 4 hours of late. My jaw still aches. I read the news and e-mail. Then I ate and watched "Forest of the Dead [Part II]". Fantastic Doctor Who 2 parter. I hope Michael & DJ love them. I hope we see River Song again. I'm guessing the chances for that are pretty good as the man who wrote the 2 parter will be the showrunner starting in 2010. ;-)

I've also been reading my Trek book. I'm about 200 pages in. This trilogy is massive in it's way. But I've looking forward to it for about 2 years so I suppose I set my expectations a bit high, and so I'm slightly disappointed. It would have been different I think if they had come out and I hadn't been looking forward to them for so long. Still, they do have their moments.

I don't really have any plans for today, except to visit with DJ, probably chat with Trevor, and to rest my jaw. I don't know how long it will be before it stops hurting. When I open my mouth all the way it hurts so bad. Perhaps I should see a specialist. I approached the idea years ago, but back then I was hoping for a surgical solution. My doctor at the time told me that they don't like to work on that joint if they don't have to because it's the most complicated joint in the whole body and they can potentially make any problem much worse...while trying to help. He told me that if I had a problem but felt I could live with it, that it would probably be best to leave it along. I took his words to heart...and I trust those words because they make a certain amount of sense... But I think I'm looking at the problem from a different angle now. I mean...I'm not really looking for a cure now, so much as advice on what to do about damage like this. Perhaps I should be using an ice pack on my jaw or something. I simply don't know.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:01 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

My stomach was little upset this morning. I had to take my half a zombie pill, but that seems to have taken care of everything, so for now I'm good. I'm bored though. I'm listening to Sade, and chatting with this guy. He knows I'm not looking for anything, and he's funny. Haven't heard from DJ; he said he'd call before he stopped by. I hope he doesn't forget.

My jaw is still killing me. It will probably be a few days, maybe even a week or more before it's back to normal. I hope it goes back to normal.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:29 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Friday, November 21, 2008

DJ called me yesterday at 2:52pm. He said that he and his son Jamie could be over to my place in 15-20 minutes. I started a bach of cookies so they could have some when they arrived, and dressed. As the cookies were coming out of the over, Trevor called me. He was bored and waiting to go to his next job. I had to let him go as I saw that DJ & J were arriving; I said I'd call him back when we were done.

DJ & J loved the cookies, and it was such fun to see them, if only for about 10 minutes. Jamie saw my room, and we told him about our AVP games. I gave DJ his Doctor Who discs and we talked about fun stuff and then they had to go. I love spending time with DJ. :-0)

While that was going on, Mark called me with some info about my jaw and how to treat it, but I told him I'd call him back since DJ was there and in a rush. After DJ left I noticed I'd gotten texts from Mark with instructions. It siad it could take up to a week for my jaw to feel normal again, and that I should be on a certain amount of Ibuprofin and have hot & cold compresses. This was good information to have so I left him a voicemail thanking him for his efforts.

I called Trevor back and we chatted for awhile until he got to his new job; he said he'd call me back when he was finished and on his way home. About 20 minutes later he did. We talked through his entire trip home and he let me go again. Then we chatted on yahoo, and I set up my webcam. He had left me some messages last night that I hadn't gotten as I was asleep. 1 of them made me smile...a lot. Seeing me on the webcam he showered me with compliments, and admitted he has a crush on me too. We chatted for several hours I think, and it was all good, but I needed to do my compresses and eat, so I let him go.

I did the compress thing. I had a snack. And I slept. I slept well. From about 10pm to 4:30am. I had a dream that I was having a party and Michael Eisinger came, and I pointed out that it had been ever so long since I'd seen him and I gave him a hug and he smiled. Trevor was there with me. It was a good dream.

I need to take my meds, and do the compress thing again. I'll most likely chat with Trevor again later. I should go to Necto tonight as my old friend Robert is going to be there; I just don't know if I can stay awake to go there, as I've been going to bed pretty early this week.

Pushing Daisies has been cancelled; it will end after the 13th episode this season - with a cliffhanger ending. Bryan Fuller, the show's creater is already talking to D.C. Comics about doing a storyline with them to wrap up the series. None of this is a surprise to me, except the cliffhanger ending part, which sucks. Still. Someday it would be nice to have a boxed set of the 2 seaons of the series, the graphic novel finale and the series WonderFalls, which crosses over with Pushing Daisies. A cute little universe of fun filled stories.

Saturday, Trevor is visiting one of his brothers, then he's planning on visiting me. It will be the first time we've ever spoken face to face. I hope it goes well.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:30 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I just noticed that my jaw is actually far, far worse today than it was yesterday. I can barely open my mouth. And the pain is actually on the opposite side. This happened to me once before. Then I took some pain killer; tried to relax, and I slept...woke up and I was fine. I'll try that again, but this freaks the hell out of me.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:16 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

So...apparently I've only been taking half of the anti-inflamation meds as I was supposed to. And Mark tracked down our actual electric heating pad. So that should be helpful. I'm eating now, so that the meds will hopefully not upset my stomach, as I've now taken the proper dose. And then I'll do the hot & cold thing. I'm dowloading the new Smallville.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:22 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I've been taking the Ibuprofen and doing the compresses. I took a nap, and woke up with my jaw feeling better. Well, it's better than this morning. I can now actually open my mouth all the way. It's back to hurting on the one side like it did yesterday, and only when I open all the way. That's a relief. Hopefully I'll be back to normal this time next week.

I'm watching 'Gotham Girls'.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:19 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Saturday, November 22, 2008

Friday night I chatted with Trevor again, on the phone and online. Mark fixed my webcam up in style and there's now a link to it on my webpage; you can see the cam here, though it's not always open. The chat got very sexual. I'm really into this guy. I'm seeing him today for the first time in person. Hopefully it goes well.

I slept last night. I went to bed around 9pm I think. I woke up at 2am, brushed my teeth, and closed my cam down, then went back to sleep. I dreamed that Mark, Mollie, Carrie, Trevor and I were on a flight to Vegas for vacation. On the flight I had a dream (within the dream) that we were on a boat, and Carrie was Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & the City. I called Carrie over to my seat on the plane to tell her all about the dream and how she ended the dream movie hooking up with Owen Wilson, having stolen him from the same woman that she stole Luke Wilson from. lol. When we got to Vegas it was an ocean side paradise. lol Trevor wanted to do all these exciting, scary, athletic things...like repelling off cliffs. I didn't really want to, but I played along, made an ass of myself, and he loved me anyways. lol. I woke up happy around 7am.

I played some video games. I ate. I watched some Whoniverse episodes. I did my compreses and took my Ibuprofin. I got online and started updating my website. I got a cyber morning kiss from Trevor on Yahoo; he left it for me around 9am something, but I didn't get it until around 11:30am. It was still cute.

I have no idea what time Trevor is planning on coming over. He and his mother (I think) were planning on visiting his brother today, and then Trevor was going to visit me afterwards... but last I'd heard, Trevor hadn't heard back from his brother...and said if he doesn't hear from him, he might come by earlier. I know that Trevor also had an appointment today to get his hair cut. Ah...hair cuts. lol. How I...don't really miss them. lol Anyways - yeah - no clue when Trevor might be here.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:41 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I worked on my website some more. I added 2 more pages of photos to my albums; pages 32 & 33. They're very graphic, so avoid them if that's going to freak you out. lol

While I was working on the first page, Trevor called me while waiting for his hair appointment, which was cancelled at the last second. We had a short but sweet conversation about hair. lol. He let me go so he could shop for phones, and blow his money. I took a shower. Trevor said he'd call when he's planning on coming over.

I just finished working on my website, and now I'm going to clean up my room; it gets messy so fast. Mark just left...he wanted to get out before losing the sun. He was going to the video store and the Sprint store. Well...I better get to it.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:15 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I was wrong about Mark leaving before. He just took the recyclables out, and put the winter windshield wipers on the car. He'll be going later though. Trevor and I chatted a bit. He's doing laundry, then getting pretty and coming over. Around 6pm at the latest. We're planning on watching the "Blink" episode of Doctor Who, hanging out, getting to know each other in person, possibly going to Pizza House. He's on call tonight for his job and if he gets called he's invited me to tag along. We might be having 'The Sex', but I'm not certain of that yet. If we do it will be after quite the buildup. If we don't, that's fine too. I just want to spend some time with him and see where we stand.

Last night Trevor told me such sweet things. He had gone out to eat with his mom and couldn't stop thinking about me. He was supposed to go on a date with another guy and cancelled so he could chat with me instead. He's got a crush on me, and he's scared because he doesn't usally have crushes without even having met the person. All of these things melted my heart.

Well...I'm gonna get dressed and wait for the fun to start.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:18 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I got dressed. I took some Midrin as I felt a headache coming on; I saw spots and everything. I probably caught it early enough that it won't be too much trouble, still I should eat something. I put the dishes in the dishwasher and started a load. While I was rinsing the dishes off for that, Mark came into the kitchen with my phone; I'd missed a call from Trevor but Mark got it. Trevor's clothes and stuff were done early so he's coming out now. Yay!

Mark is about to leave. I took extra prilosec. The condo looks pretty good. Everything would seem to be set.

Wish me luck.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:36 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Trevor arrived around 5:20pm. He looked just as cute in person as he did online; cuter when he was naked. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I gave him the tour of the condo. He took the normal amount of time to get used to my bedroom collage. He liked my music. He asked me to massage his neck, which I did to the strains of Cibbo Matto's "Sugar Water" and Counting Crows' "Colorblind". It was perfect. There was a bit of cuddling...and soon we were going at it hardcore. It was hot. Rough around the edges. But hot. Like you expect a first time to be. There's room for improvement, but we both got off and it was fun.

We took a shower and went to Pizza House. We were both tired. He told me about his fathers and how they died. He told me about his odd sense of smell. He ate with gusto; he really digs food, and it was fun to watch him eat. We both paid for the bill, though I insisted on paying more than my share as he'd driven out to see me. He drove me home and said goodnight with a hug and a kiss.

It was a nice date. Mark was bummed that he didn't get to meet him. Trevor said there would be a next time. I hope there will be. I'm tired...but I'm not. Not sure what I'm going to do now.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:45 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Sunday, November 23, 2008

I fell asleep around 9pm. I woke up at 3am from frustrating dreams...hot and sweaty. I drank some water. Took some Echinacea & Vitamin C that Mark left me. Had a snack. And read the news. Feeling a bit better now.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:12 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Went back to sleep after last message. Just woke up again.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:57 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I'm bored. And I don't know what to do with myself. It's like a milder case of what I felt after Sean's visit last month. I guess Mollie was right. She said she felt that way after anyone visited. She also said the secret was to have more people visit more often. I'll have to try that.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:33 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I had a dream last night that I ventured down to this old tree fort that my friends and I built. Actually the history of it is more complex than that. Anyways... it got all dark and dramatic and exciting (like an adventure movie, not a porn). My whole family was involved. We found out that the twins (Robert & Ronnie) had died, and that their brother Kevin was posing as both of them in some sick mental breakdown. It was bizarre.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:32 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I've got about 100 pages left in my book. Perhaps I'll finish it today. The sun is out, though it's cold. Perhaps I'll go for a walk.

Some of my pillows smell like Trevor. It's been nearly 20 hours since he arrived yesterday. Why does my mind go in circles like that?

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:12 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I miss my job. Whenever I used to feel conflicted about anything, and I had a shift to work, it distracted me from any problems I had, and helped me work through them. But all I really know how to do is retail. I can't stand Kmart & Wal*Mart. I've worked at Meijer and Target. I was thinking of applying at Target but that seems depressing all on it's own. I mean, I started working there in November of 1993. And here I am in November or 2008 and 15 years have passed and Target still seems like an acceptable job? Does that say something about me? Have I not accomplished anything?

I know that it isn't that simple. That nobody is the same, and everyone has to go their own way. And I've had real medical problems that have held me back...and that I'm lucky to have survived at all, considering that large numbers of my friends were dead and buried before I even had a job. It's just...frustrating me today.

I feel like a failure.

I tried to talk to Mark about this. I pointed out that the condo is his. The car is really his. Everything is really his. I don't really have anything; not really. I mean I own stuff, but what have I accomplished. Mark doesn't feel he's accomplished much, but he has 2 real jobs and I've never even had 1. The only 1 that I had that I loved involved me telling people what movies to rent. But Mark said that everything he's accomplished has been at least partially because I was there to help him, and I can believe that. I just wish I had something that was mine.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:07 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I left a message for Trevor. He had mentioned that he goes out with guys all the time who then never call him. I didn't want to be one of those guys and now I'm not.

I talked to Mark about the last entry. About how frustrating things are right now. How I want to be doing stuff, but I've got this crushing weight hanging over me, which is my surgery in February. My whole life will change in February. And it just feels pointless to start something like school or a job when it could come crashing to a halt in February - I could lose all of that again and that terrifies me. Mark had some good suggestions though. I need look into working at UofM because that would rock. He also suggested we get a 2nd or 3rd opinion this surgery and the pills I'm taking. And he also suggested I volunteer at HARC or something; something to give my time meaning, until I can get back to work and school. Assuming I can ever. (see what I mean - there's always this voice in my head telling me that February is a death sentence). I need to conquer that voice somehow.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:28 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Mark & I went to the bank. We went to Target, which left me with the strong impression that I never want to work there again...which oddly, helped. We went to Meijer for Boost, Hillards for water, and Kroger for other groceries. Michael Eisinger was working at Hillards, but we didn't talk to him. I just feel like he doesn't want to see me or talk to me, so why force myself on him, you know? Best to just let it go.

Mark brought the camera with us and took several shots of me sporting the beard I grew out for Trevor. I'm doing laundry now and shaving off the beard after I write this. Then later I'll get some pictures of what I look like after the shave.

I bought some books at Kroger. I finally gave into the 'peer pressure' and bought 'Twilight'. I also got what I thought was a standalone novel from Laurel K. Hamilton (having remembered that both Mollie & Bryan enjoyed her books at one time) only it turns out that it's book 7 of a series. I might still read it though. We'll see.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:26 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Trevor just called me back. We talked about some of the rough patches of our date, and we're still talking, and still planning on hanging out...working on things to see if we can make them work. It seems like we're being very honest with one another and that helps things along nicely.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:04 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Monday, November 24, 2008

I read all but the epilogue in my Trek book, which I suppose I'll finish now. I slept from around 7pm to 1:30am. We didn't take the followup pictures, though I did shave. I was waiting until my laundry was done, and then Mark went to bed just as I was getting up. Perhaps I'll take them on my own.

Here are the pictures of my beard taken yesterday evening:

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:50 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [2 Comments]

I just had a snack & finished the Destiny Trilogy. I had some minor quibbles with the storytelling, and 1 major problem with a single story strand, which on later reflection didn't bother me overly much. If that strand had been told in the same manner in a DS9 novel I would have been annoyed, but as it featured Next Gen characters...well, the outcome was very Next Gen, so I can't really complain I guess.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:17 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I'm downloading the latest 'Wolverine' & 'True Blood' episodes, the latter of which is the first season finale. Other than that, I'm not really doing much. Mollie had left me a voicemail message while I was asleep, and I just left one for her in response. While driving with Mark yesterday I pointed out that it's been over a year since I've seen Mollie or Jennifer...and Mark said that they don't need us anymore. Mollie still needs us though. Or she wants us at least. lol. Jennifer, I don't really know. I've probably left her 20 or more messages in the last year, and the only message I've gotten was a brief voicemail on my birthday. It actually hurts.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:14 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [1 Comments]

I had a dream last night that I was back in High School. And I was there with all my old classmates. There were some bullies and I kicked their asses. There was a school dance coming up that was free for seniors, but was $150.00 for everyone else. I wasn't sure if I was a senior because of my grades but it turned out I was. I also dreamed that one of kids at school was gay (I'm pretty sure he wasn't), and I kept asking people about him, and whatever happened to him, and it turned out he had died in a motorcycle accident. It was really odd. I was bummed because I wanted to ask him to the dance. And then I thought maybe I could get Michael to go with me...and I woke up.

1 year ago today, I took Michael Eisinger as my date to the surprise party I threw for my younger sister Jamie. And despite how cold it was, and how my little sister didn't even thank me for all the trouble I went through, and the money that I'd spent, and the party that I'd planned...I had fun with him there. I miss that Michael.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:13 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I slept last night, from about 10pm-7am. I'd only meant to take a nap, but I messed up my alarm. Oh well. I slept well at least. No intense dreams. I'm guessing that means that the half a zombie pill I took on Thursday is out of my system. I'll probably take the other half later today.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:54 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Alright. Here's some strangeness. The other night I had a dream. In the dream, I had wanted to take a boy to my high school prom. The boy was a real boy that I went to school with. I didn't mention his name in the post the first time around as I didn't want it to pop up in a search engine, because I never really had any interest in the boy, but in my dream I did. And actually, in the dream when I tried to find him he was dead; having died in a motorcycle accident. Anyways - his name was Matt Wilkinson. Alright. There it is. Ok. So here's where it gets stranger. I got a message on a gay site today from a mwilkinson, 35. My birthday is in August, so almost everyone in my class in school was a year older than me, which means the Matt in my dream would most likely be 35 now. If it's just a random thing, that's freaky enough. If it's actually him...that would just be...kind of neat, actually. lol

But now that I think about it I might be confusing to people I went to school with. I mean...I definitely went to school with a Wilkinson boy, and some Matts, but maybe there wasn't a Matt Wilkinson? I don't know. And the Matt in my dream, though he was definitely a real student, might not have been the same Matt that I'm thinking of now. lol. Oh well. It amused me for 20 minutes.

I watched the latest Sarah Jane episode. It had a really cute scene in it, that I think Mollie will like. 2 more episodes and this season of Sarah Jane will be over. I saw the finale of True Blood yesterday, which didn't disappoint. But I want the 2nd Season NOW. It will be back in the summer though.

I chatted with Trevor last night. Things seem to be going well there, but it feels different now that we've met. I'm not sure it will ever get back to what it was. We'll see.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:19 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

The Sarah Jane Adventures has been renewed for a 3rd Series! It's being rumored that this 3rd series will be the last, and that a 4th series of Torchwood will bring a close to that series. Basically what this all means is that we'll get these episodes:

Enemy of the Bane, Part I
Enemy of the Bane, Part II
Final 2 episodes of Sarah Jane Series 2.

The Next Doctor
2008 Doctor Who Christmas Special

Doctor Who 2009 Specials
4 hour long specials to air throughout 2009. The first is set to air around Easter.

Torchwood Series 3
A 5 part 2009 mini-series event.

Sarah Jane Series 3
3rd and final 2009 series.

2009 Children in Need
Possible Mini-Episode.

Torchwood Series 4
A full final season in early 2010.

Doctor Who Series 5
A new beginning for New Who, with a new Doctor, new Companions, New Showrunner, lead writers, producers - and no spin-offs to get in the way - coming in 2010.

Works for me. If the rumors prove true, then I'll be sad to see Torchwood & Sarah Jane leave us, but they'll have had good runs, and they'll always be part of the Whoniverse, with the possibility of returning in new stories at a later date. I just hope that by the end of Torchwood we find out why Jack's memories were stolen (as referenced in his first appearances on Who), what Jack's real name is, and it wouldn't hurt if we learned a bit more about the Face of Boe! :0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:02 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I did a lot of chatting online today. And that's basically all I did. I was going to go to bed earlier tonight, as I've been going to bed rather early, but then I remembered I needed to take my half a zombie capsule tonight so I had to get some things out of the way first. Now that I've got those pills sorted I sort of love them. About 3 days after I take them my dreams get really intense, but usually in a good way. I wish they were like that all the time.

Now I'm tired, but feel kind of awake.

Oh! DJ Earworm released a new mashup. Nice. I've not been especially impressed with his latest work; nothing has really popped since his United States of Pop, but this new one is pretty good.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:30 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving.

Not a big Thanksgiving person. The holiday's origins are murky. It centers on food. And most of the friends that I would share it with are no longer around.

However, I'm quite thankful that we now only have 4 weeks until 'The Next Doctor' (the 2008 Doctor Who Christmas Special) airs in the UK. :0)

Yesterday I worked on my webpage. That's about all I did. Except just before going to bed I started rereading Harry Potter 6, which I'm enjoying quite a bit, having only read it twice before.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:51 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I watched a bunch of excerpts from 'The Closer' and read the first 100 pages of 'Half-Blood Prince'. I'm thinking of watching some Classic Who. I've got some bad heartburn...but todays seems like the right day for that. lol.

I exchanged 'Happy Thanksgiving' messages with Mark & Shawn Foreman.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:47 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I wished Michael a Happy Thanksgiving on yahoo; his response was "yup". Then I lost the connection so I'm not sure if anything was going to follow that. I tried calling my grandmother but the phone is busy. Mark says he doesn't feel weird about not doing anything for Thanksgiving... that now he's home with me it's perfect. He's sweet.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:57 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [4 Comments]

My blog is weird. And suffering random doubles. This entry is just to fix that. lol Continue.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:14 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Friday, November 28, 2008

I finally got back on yahoo last night, but Michael was no longer there. I left him a message. I chatted with Trevor for a bit.

I read more than a third of 'Half-Blood Prince' yesterday. My acid reflux calmed down enough to let me have some garlic bread late in the evening. I had odd dreams.

The Doctor Who Proms will be broadcast in the UK around Christmas. This is good news as an edited for consumption version of "Music of the Spheres", a fun, if pointless mini-who episode will be broadcast as well, and this 1 off mini is 1 more appearance for the Doctor in Season 31 of the Whoniverse. This gives the Doctor 6 confirmed installments, with a possible Children-in-Need mini next year, and possible guest appearances in the 3rd Series of Sarah Jane, or the 4th Series of Torchwood. I would place 'Music of the Spheres' just after 'The Temptation of Sarah Jane Smith, Part II' - giving 2 stories that don't have a lot in common, a bit of a crossover feel. ;-)

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:26 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

15 years ago today I started working at the Ann Arbor Target store. It was insane. I was happy to be working there, but I was completely lost, and as it's the busiest shopping day of the year I wasn't trained to be a cashier but just thrown out on the floor and told to help as many people as I could. I remember it so clearly. I was jazzed to be working there; my secret boyfriend was an upper level managment person and no one was supposed to know we were dating so we had this whole relationship on the downlow...though people sometimes guessed. lol. It was fun. And I'd just left 'Litte Caesars', which despite the good food, was a terrible place to work, so I really appreciated the new job.

I'd appreciate a new job about now too.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:44 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Saturday, November 29, 2008

I got up this morning and cleaned up the car; I might clean up the car some more; the surfaces are filthy with dust. I took out the trash. I did the dishes. I sorted my dirty laundry. I rearranged the disorganized and messy looking dvd shelf downstairs. I reorganized some of the clutter downstairs, putting stuff where it goes and clearing away some useless bits. I have a horrible headache, so I'm wearing my sunglasses in the house to reduce the light aura bullshit. But I've accomplished quite a bit.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:51 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I started reorganizing the cd rack and found a huge stack of cds...that aren't ours. We're not sure where they came from. My best guess is that Sean Mobley accidentally left them here when he visited in October. I know he had a bunch of cds, and the shelf is right next to the couch, where he'd left his stuff. So...now I'm listening to some really weird music, which will forever mark this day.

Oh. I should empty the trash in the bathroom. I don't really have much laundry to do, so that can wait.

My headache is still bad, but I think it's slightly better. I have the sunglasses off now.

Ok. Listening to a cd labled driving cd or car cd or something...odd music. The 4th track I think is from Kill Bill. An odd assortment of music here. lol

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:30 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I was listening to the cds, which I now suspect were left by Bryan Alfaro, when Mark asked me if I was hungry. We're going to Pizza house.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:11 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

We found a nice parking spot, and had a nice meal at Pizza House. I had taken the last of my Midrin before leaving, and with the food, they kicked in and my headache is gone. I feel weird not having any Midrin on hand though; there was a refill left on the bottle but it expired in September.

Just as Mark was dropping me off so he could go to Kroger, I got a call from Mollie, which was a nice surprise; hearing from her always makes me feel better.

I'm going to chill, and read the new Buffy comic.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:16 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Sunday, November 30, 2008

I finished reading Harry Potter 6 last night, and I read the first few chapters of Harry Potter 7. Then I slept. I slept until about 10:30am. When I got up, it was cloudy out but there was no snow. Now there is snow everywhere.

Between checking the weather outside, I put a whole slew of Adult Fan Art pix in order on my computer and collect a few new ones. I have so much now that it's hard for me to check to see if something is a double of something I already have. It's not that big a deal I suppose; I mean, I am doing this just for fun. lol. Hm. I also exchanged some e-mails with DJ. He and his son were in a terrible car accident last week; they're both ok, but he sent me pictures of the wreckage:

Some nasty business there. Thankfully no one was hurt, though DJ's cell phone was destroyed and now he needs everyone's phone numbers.

I've also been busy updating my sexual history. I used to keep a fairly detailed list of whome I'd been with, but in the last few years I've kind of let that slide...so I was just filling in as many details as I could remember. When I put someone on my list, it doesn't mean that anyone else might include them - I count everything, and I was pretty sure I was at well over a hundred by now, but it turns out, that including everything, I've still got a ways to go before I reach that point. lol. It wouldn't bother me if I had, it's just odd that I've been thinking about myself in those terms, when I'm clearly not there yet. lol

Anyways, that's what I've been up to this morning. I'll probably get some food soon, and read more of my book. The penultimate episode of the Sarah Jane's 2nd season airs tomorrow - looking forward to that. I have so much television to catch up on. I have mutiple episodes of Terminator, Heroes, Chuck, Star Wars, & Ugly Betty to watch. And I'd like to finish Will & Grace if I can find it. And I'd also like to watch some more Classic Who. Plus I want to watch Weeds, Dexter & Lost. I don't think I'll ever catch up on all this. lol

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:54 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [1 Comments]

I chatted online with Trevor for several hours. It was a very good chat. We discussed all kinds of things that had worried or stressed us out, and we're planning on going out again; probably this weekend. Sounds awesome.

Before chatting, I read more of Harry Potter. I'm taking it slower this time around. The last time I read this book was in like 48 hours of reading, and then sleeping while Mark read it, and talking to Mollie to see where she was in the book. All to avoid being spoiled. But there's a lot in this book to take in. I'm just a few chapters in and 2 characters have been killed, others have said their final farewells, and another has been horribly mutilated. Even though I knew these things were coming they were still rather traumatic.

I'm tired and hungry. Not sure if I should eat or sleep.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:53 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]