Saturday, August 1, 2009
I slept well. I woke up around 7am, but went backt to sleep and got up around 9. I read some news. I had a snack. Said hello to Mark. I got an amazingly sweet voicemail from Jennifer about my eating and health issues that I've been dealing with, and how this made her nearly cry with joy...and then when I tried to play it for Mark I accidentally deleted it. That was the first of many things that have gone wrong today. Lots of little things piling up, and it's really annoying me. But it was still a nice message. I left her another one.
Later I tried calling gay.com to deal with the unwarned billing of my much-in-demand bank card, but the number is no longer in service; you have to e-mail them, which I did. But I'm annoyed that I can't just talk to somebody. Ugh.
Later I burned a disc (which I'm running low on, and I desperately need for this project) - checked to make sure it worked; deleted the file it sprang from, and when I went to lable it my clumsy hands flipped it and the marker marked the readable side, destroying it. Ugh. That's like 3 hours work down the tubes!!!
My stomach is sending me weird signals. Not sure if it's going to be a problem or not. I'm hoping for NOT.
I shaved and showered; it feels weird not to have hair now. How odd is that? I'd like to jog again today, but I'm thinking that having just shaved my head the sweat will burn me like a mutherfucker.
I spoke to Janice on the phone; she still might go to Cedar Point on Thursday, but isn't sure. We're going to meet up with Dad in the week after my party, which means Mollie will be here, and she knows everyone so that's cool. I want Janice to try some of the non-dairy frozen treats I've been having, as she's got troubles with dairy too. ;-0) I'll have to buy them with what money I have as I'm not supposed to share my food stamp food. Hmmm.
I saw Carrie yesterday. She'll most likely be staying with us for a day or two around the time that Mollie is here so it will be like a party! :-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 01:10 PM
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I'm in between stages of the burning process. Plugging away. I was going to try some new tea today, but since my stomach was feeling rumbly, I decided to drink some ginger tea instead, as it's said to help with such things. I still want to go for a jog, and might do that soon. I just took a call from my honey; he had one of his teeth pulled today and the painkiller is wearing off, so he's not having a great day, but he called to wish me happy anniversary (4 months today, and counting) and I told him to take care of himself and not to feel pressured to spend time with me; not to rush anything cause I don't want him to have any stress at all right now. He started his vaction today too I think; like 9 days off or something. Or maybe I'm wrong and it starts later? I'm not sure. Anyways...I should continue the burning.
Even though things have gone badly today, I'm still happy. I'll soon see Michael. I'll soon see Mollie. I'll soon see Amber (she's coming to Michigan in September). I'll soon have Mollie & Carrie here together. I'll soon turn 35. I'll soon have my party. I'll soon be trying more new foods. Life is far from perfect right now, but I'm making the most out of what I have...and that feels good.
posted by Bald Jason at 02:38 PM
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Well, I went for my jog. I was tired very fast this time, and my legs ached very quickly as well. But I got my heart rate up, and it didn't kill me, so hopefully this is the beginning of a healthier me. ;-0)
Mark helped me make the rice that I bought, but I didn't like it. Mark tried it and he didn't like it either, although he does like rice. I didn't really like the texture of it; all the little pieces pressed together; like maggots in my mouth. It was gross. But I tried it. And it wasn't just one bite. I had several mouthfulls. The flavor didn't seem bad at first but then it had kind of a kick I guess. Mark didn't like the flavor at all. I might try it again, but not right away. I'm going to have a shake now, and we're going to the store for some stuff. I'm going to get som parm cheese for the pasta I'm having later. Hopefully that turns out better for me. But even if it doesn't...I've already found so many new healthy foods, and I'm not done trying new stuff. :-0)
And I want a juicer. I like fresh apple juice and carrot juice. But juicers are so expensive. Hmm.
posted by Bald Jason at 06:23 PM
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Sunday, August 2, 2009
I did a bunch of stuff after the last entry. More discs. Took a nap. Read. Ate. Talked to Michael on the phone. He was coming over, and then Mark wanted to go to Meijer for this sale, and I needed some stuff for my pasta and shakes, so we ran to Meijer and then met Michael at the house. We chatted a bit, but went to bed soon after. I had a bit of a headache, and it took me long while to get to sleep. I woke up early but stayed in bed with Michael to cuddle. Later after snoozing a bit I woke up with a bit of a sore throat and my stomach was cramped. Michael left to work on his yard and pack some stuff. He's coming back tomorrow night. I'm trying to work through the stomach pain. My bathwater should be ready about now.
posted by Bald Jason at 11:22 AM
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I just finished my book, which brought the recent Mirror Universe storyline to a satisfying close. There were several lesbian characters in the book; yay! There was lots of continuity between this book and previous volumes, and the series that spawned them, so that was another big plus. The ending of the book tied this Mirror Universe detour into the building story of the Ascendants, which was a neat twist, though it will be interesting to see what the twist ending will mean to further volumes. A very enjoyable read. I was shocked by several plot twists, and enjoyed the symmetry of the closure for several characters. There were only 2 things I didn't like. 1 was that we didn't learn what happened between Kira and the Prophets, but that could come up in a later book. 2nd was that the twist ending, while cool, is somewhat annoying in that we most likely won't be seeing a followup to this story unitl 2011 at the earliest. :-0( Though there will be a new DS9 book next month, and several DS9 themed books next year.
posted by Bald Jason at 05:04 PM
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I had too much to eat earlier, and had forgotten to take my 2nd prilosec; a terrible combination. My stomach is not at all happy.
I'm still burning discs. I just read the first 30 pages of "the Garak book", as I've decided it's time to reread the DS9 Relaunch books. But the books are making me ache to see the entire series again. Perhaps I'll start that now. It will be a good to see all the old episodes again. It's been nearly 16 years since DS9 first aired. Amazing.
I'm tired.
posted by Bald Jason at 11:48 PM
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Monday, August 3, 2009
One of my favorite authors has this blog, and since reading it I've found that we had a lot of odd, random connections. I'm not stalking her or anything...I don't comment, and I don't say "hey, we have a lot in common" cause I don't want to bother her. I just want to enjoy her writing. But it's not uncommon for me to say something to my roomie, and then a few days later see the same thing said in her blog. It's become kind of a joke between us.
One week ago today I posted about a happy memory with Jeremy with a link in that entry to an older entry, in which I mentioned that I was "Fade Into You" by Mazzy Star stuck in my head. In the new entry I put that in the 'currently listening to' section. I posted about it on Facebook. Then yesterday in her blog she posted the video to the song, saying it was stuck in her head. Nice.
She also posted the Belly video for "Feed the Tree" the other day. I still own that CD. I bought it when it was new, but she apparently liked it way more than I did. I still love that song though. AND the only other song on the CD that I did like was "Low Red Moon", which should used as the title for one of her books. When I first read the title, I thought of that song, and then sure enough, that's where it was from. A lot of her stuff is connected to music I love. It's probably something that lots of people share with her; I'm not suggesting we some special connection or anything...it just amuses me. lol
posted by Bald Jason at 09:32 AM
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Tuesday, August 4, 2009
I finished working on my Facebook farm yesterday; my friends & I now live in a giant Farm Town mansion! Later, Michael joined me. We had amazing sex. 3 Times. Then lots of serious chats, with LOTS of emotion; it wasn't exactly fun, but it was important, and I so glad we had that communication. We went to Pizza House, and in the spirit of trying new things, I had a Raspberry Daiquiri, which was interesting, though I'm not a big drinker. I also bought some Chipati(?) sauce for home use.
Michael got me to open the present he got brought me this weekend; it was the Director's Cut of Watchmen. I want to see it. Mark says he really liked the theatrical version. But I want to watch the Motion Comic first. I have to wait until after my birthday party for that because someone might buy it for me, which is going to drive me crazy, with this sitting on my shelf.
Michael & cuddled most of the night. It was great. It was a really good night for us I think. We're leaving for Sandusky tomorrow. We'll be staying in a hotel 6 miles from Cedar Point, and might go to the park tomorrow, but we'll be there all day on Thursday. So will my sister Janice and her family, which rocks. The kids don't know though. She's gonna call me about half way through the day and have me surprise them; that way I get alone time with Micahel and the kids get time with their dad before Uncle Jason takes the stage. ;-0)
Then we're all coming home on Friday. Janice & company are staying at a Holiday Inn like 30 miles from the park so it's unlikely that I'll see them after we leave the park.
I need to do my laundry and pack today. I'm back on fritos and cookies to save my stomach from any troubles...but oddly enough, I no longer find them all that apppealing. The fritos and really saulty and greasy and the cookies are like...like something that would survive WWIII for us to snack on. I don't know. That's probably a really good thing, because I'm embracing all this other food, but it kind of sucks, because this is what I have to eat the next 3 days. Or at the very least, the next 2.
Michael is laying on my bed. He just commented that I'm writing a lot, but I don't think I am. lol. I'm gonna go spend more time with my boyfriend.
Michael has an appointment at 2. Mark has to be at work at 2.
posted by Bald Jason at 11:59 AM
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It's been confirmed that there will be a gay male character on Caprica (and he sounds very interesting), while there was some footage in the pilot (which I assume will be cut for television) which demonstrated that lesbians are in existance as well. This is good to hear. There were gay / bi / lesbian characters on BSG but you had to either pick up on signals or watch extras ("BSG: Razor", "BSG: The Face of the Enemy") to really get that you weren't just imagining stuff. We had Admiral Cain who was apparently a lesbian, involved with Gina Iviere (a Cylon model Six). We had Felix Gaeta who was apparently bi, involved with a Cylon model Eight, and later Louis Hoshi (who may be gay or bi; we don't know enough about him to know which). Gaeta is a fairly big character through the show. It's implied that he had an infatuation with and a possible offscreen encounter with Gaius Baltar. Hoshi is introduced in Season 2, and keeps a low profile through much of the show, though he has some nice moments at the end. Caprica Six, Baltar & D'Anna (a Cylon model Three) have a 3-way relationship though it's unknown how that works exactly. We've seen two Six's kiss on the mouth before one of them killed the other (a very complex scene that seemed to move beyond the gender of those involved IMO). There are some guys standing close together in "A Disquiet Follows My Soul" though people interpret this differently, and basically see what they want to see. Some LGBT fans of the series were upset that the LGBT stuff wasn't more prominant, but from my perspective it was enough; they didn't have to include any, and the characters we did get were mostly, extremely complex. Caprica sounds like it's going to continue this, with possibly even more blatant content, and that sounds really interesting to me, when I would have been watching the show anyways.
posted by Bald Jason at 06:17 PM
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I was worried earlier about our trip to Cedar Point, but I feel a lot calmer now. Maybe because Michael gave me a nice back rub, or maybe because I slept a little, or maybe because I had some tea. I don't know why. I was tempted to take some of my Midrin earlier when I was uber stressed, but it didn't come to that. We have the directions printed. I'm mostly packed I think. I have enough clothes I think, though I keep thinking of things to bring. I feel ok about the trip now. Hopefully it goes well.
I forgot to mention that I got to visit an old friend yesterday. Varian Waller and I used to work together at Meijer from July 1996-August 1998. For years after I left I'd go visit her at work and talk for hours; often about Star Trek or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Then she was gone and I had no way of contacting her. Another friend of ours, Karen Edwards ran into Varian at her latest job, and gave me the heads up. I've tried to visit her twice before but she was on medical leave, having some serious GI troubles (which I can relate to), but I finally got to see her today. She still lives with her brother, who's not doing so well; she's a meat eater; she loved the new Star Trek movie; she thinks my boyfriend is cute and was happy to hear all the news about Mark, Mollie & Carrie. It was a good time, but very short as she was busy with clients. I have her phone # in my phone now though and I need to find time to call her. Maybe I could invite her to my party. Then she could see Mollie and Michael and Mark, and meet some other friends? It's a thought.
Ooh. The new Dune & Kiernan books came out today. I'd have had them preordered, but they're on my wishlist so I've been forbidden until after the party. ;-0)
Mark's friend from work gave him a copy of the Motion Comic that was free to download a long while back. I watched a bit of it; it's very interesting. I think Mark will enjoy it. I kind of want to follow along with the graphic novel while I watch it. lol. Or possibly read a chapter, then watch the movtion comic version. Then when I'm done, watch the movie. That's what I'm considering doing now. The grapic novel isn't on my wishlist, so I could order that with no problem. I'd like to own the Motion Comic on dvd too, as I'm sure the picture would be better, and there are probably some other cool things, but that's on my wishlist too. Damn it. lol
posted by Bald Jason at 11:24 PM
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Wednesday, August 5, 2009
I just ordered the Watchmen graphic novel, and the most recent Doctor Who Christmas Special (which comes out on DVD this Fall). Michael been asleep a few hours now. I'll join him soon I think. I just want to chill for a bit and make sure I have everything. I might shave and shower just before bed.
Michael has been watching Superman: The Animated Series lately. I catch bits of it when he's watching it; makes me remember how good it is. Some of my friends that like the shows dislike Superman, but I think it's actually very dark in places, and it's integral to the rest of the universe with crossovers to Batman & Static Shock & Batman Beyond - and introducing tons of characters for Justice Leauge & Justice League Unlimited. It's one of the DCAU shows that actually makes sense when you watch it in the order it aired. I'd change the order of 1 installment, but even without that change it makes sense. I've worked out in my DCAU guide what year each of the installments air and what # episode they are in the grand scheme of the entire DCAU (save for 1, which is the final chronological episode of the entire DCAU).
I'm going to list them here because it will calm me down and I think it's fun, I'm sure this doesn't interest anyone else so feel free to skip it. If you do find it at all interesting the first # is the number overall (all DCAU series in chronological order); the 2nd # is the boxed set you'll find it in and the next number is the episode # in that set. So like this:
088 1x01 The Last Son of Krypton 1
88th episode overall. Boxed Set 1, episode 01. Got it? Ok. Here goes.
1996:
088 1x01 The Last Son of Krypton, Part I
089 1x02 The Last Son of Krypton, Part II
090 1x03 The Last Son of Krypton, Part III
091 1x04 Fun and Games
092 1x05 A Little Piece of Home
093 1x06 Feeding Time
094 1x07 The Way of All Flesh
095 1x08 Stolen Memories
096 1x09 The Main Man, Part I
097 1x10 The Main Man, Part II
098 1x11 My Girl
099 1x12 Tools of the Trade
100 1x13 Two's a Crowd
101 1x14 The Prometheon
102 1x15 Blasts From the Past, Part I
103 1x16 Blasts From the Past, Part II
104 1x17 Livewire
105 1x18 Speed Demons
In 1997 & 1998 (the years the episodes take place in) Superman & Batman have their own shows and adventures that sometimes crossover - only the Superman episodes are listed here.
1997:
107 2x01 Identity Crisis
109 2x02 Target
111 2x03 Action Figures
113 2x04 Mxyzpixilated
115 2x05 Double Dose
117 2x06 Solar Power
119 2x13 Father's Day
121 2x07 Monkey Fun
123 2x08 Brave New Metropolis
125 2x09 Ghost in the Machine
126 2x10 World's Finest, Part I
127 2x11 World's Finest, Part II
128 2x12 World's Finest, Part III
129 2x14 The Hand of Fate
131 2x15 Biazrro's World
133 2x16 Prototype1998:
135 2x17 The Late Mr. Kent
137 2x18 Heavy Metal
139 3x01 Warrior Queen
141 3x02 Apokolips...Now! Part I
142 3x03 Apokolips...Now! Part II
144 3x04 Little Girl Lost, Part I
145 3x05 Little Girl Lost, Part II
147 3x06 Where There's Smoke
148 3x07 Knight Time
149 3x09 Obsession
151 3x10 Little Big Head Man
153 3x11 Absolute Power
155 3x12 In Brightest Day
157 3x13 Superman's Pal
159 3x14 Fish Story
161 3x15 Unity
162 3x16 The Demon Reborn
163 3x17 Legacy, Part I
164 3x18 Legacy, Part II2979:
3x08 New Kids in Town
Nifty. I'm such a geek!
Mark just got home. I need to tell him some Watchmen related stuff, and see if he has a toothbrush I can use.
posted by Bald Jason at 12:51 AM
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I didn't go to Cedar Point with Michael and his friends today. I couldn't sleep last night; I just couldn't shut my brain off, and I was struggling through this massive panic attack. I was shaking and stressed out and it tied into my eating. My sister, who is tied into my eating disorder will be there at the park tomorrow. The last time I went to Cedar Point is when my stomach became paralyized. So tomorrow would see me facing some HUGE things in relation to my eating. I couldn't bring myself to eat anything and I was wigging out.
Michael did not take this well. He seems to have chilled since. Mark has been supportive. Michael has been supportive, but I disappointed him. If Mark can get tomorrow off of work he's going to drive us down and stay the day at Cedar Point with us, but if he can't he'll just drive me down there and drop me off at Michael's hotel. So I am still going (that's the plan). I just have to chill until then.
I'm thinking about going into therapy for my eating. I've been making really big strides in a lot of areas but it's happening so fast and my psyche is having trouble keeping pace. I've had 2 really big scary panic attacks in relation to all this; perhaps there's a medication for those? I don't know. But they really freak me out.
This didn't prevent me from getting still more new food stuffs to try today. I picked up some Romain Lettice Leaves...some Pecans (which Michael told me he likes, and which I've never had), and some Almond Milk - which is a non-dairy milk type stuff that I thought I could use in my shakes instead of Boost.
Mark took me to LC and they messed up Mark's order, only they didn't realize this until after we left, and Mark didn't notice until he was at work already; it was so bad he couldn't eat it. I called LC and set him up with a free replacement the next time he stops in. I guess we should have checked it when we were there. That's happened to me before too, and I used to always check my food but I've stopped doing it all the time. I feel responsible for not doublechecking his stuff.
I'm tempted to watch Watchmen as it's sitting right in front of me. Perhaps I will. I don't know.
posted by Bald Jason at 02:52 PM
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I put in the Watchmen disc; looked at the opening menu, and then put it back in it's case. I want to watch it, but it's something I want to build toward by reading the graphic novel and watching the motion comic. The extra extended version comes out in December; a 5 disc set. If I like the movie I'll look into getting that on bluray. Until I watch it I'll put it on my LGBT Inclusive DVD shelf. There. It fits in great there. Another comic-book themed movie to + to my LGBT genres. V for Vendetta is on there as well.
I'm bored.
Maybe I'll work on my DCAU page.
Maybe I'll read more of the Garak book. I'm planning on rereading the entire DS9 Relaunch, and make note of all the LGBT stuff this time around for a LGBT inclusive Trek page I'm working on.
posted by Bald Jason at 02:59 PM
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I did end up working on my DCAU pages. I finally finished my DCAU: 1992 page, which lists the episodes that I think take place in that year and why and all that. I also did some major work on my DCAU Timeline page, and started a DCAU 1993 page as well. My years of work are finally starting to pay off on this project. ;-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 09:00 PM
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Thursday, August 6, 2009
I got some sleep last night. We have to leave in about an hour; I just woke up; Mark is still asleep. It's chilly in my room; I should get dressed. I made sure I got some sleep last night; I wore my earplugs and took some Tylenol PM. For a long while I didn't think they would work, but they did in the end. I feel far less stressed today than I did yesterday. Oh. And I tried Pecans last night; I like them! ;-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 07:04 AM
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I was wrong; we were supposed to leave at 7am! Mark had his clock set for 6pm on accident. We have to go!!! lol. It never rains but it pours.
posted by Bald Jason at 07:29 AM
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Friday, August 7, 2009
Mark & I made it out to the hotel that Michael & his friends were staying at. We all made it to the park around 10:30am I'm guessing. We rode the Raptor right away; 45 minute wait; got a cute dvd of me & Michael holding hands on the ride. We rode Ocean Motion. I hooked up with Janice & the kids while Michael went with his friends (lots of drama ensuing - but it all worked out in the end so I'd rather not rehash it all here); I had a small something to nibble on before that became a problem. I chilled with the family, then Justin, Jordan, Jerry & I rode the Blue Streak; I sat with Jordan. Later I caught up with Michael & company. I rode the Witch's Wheel by myself, then rode in the 2nd seat of the Magnum with Michael; front seat of Gemini & Mine Ride. Rode the Swings. Met back up with Janice and rode the Iron Dragon in the front seat with my youngest nephew Jonathan (who screamed how much he loved it), then rode the Magnum front seat with Justin, and the Raptor with Justin / Jordan & Mark. Janice & crew were leaving soon so we left them (after I had an amazing Blue Raspberry Icey thing). I was having trouble breathing and Mark noticed that I'd been stung by something right above my right eye so we went to First Aid where they gave me some meds after checking me out, which helped. Michael & everyone joined us and we rode the Raptor again. We ate some elephant ear, drank more icey (which Michael got me); also got a Raptor shirt and some bling. And that was it. It was fun. The rides were fun. I didn't ride anything new; I would have but the lines for Millennium Force & Maverick were both over 2 hours and I didn't want to wait that long. Back to the hotel...I stayed with Michael and Mark drove home (though there was an open bed that he could have used). Showered. Slept. Showered. Dressed and left. Nice car ride back. With Michael's friend Jen & I talking about gender identity. Home. Mark. News. This. A good trip. My tummy troubles were there, but they weren't as problematic as they could have been and I was very careful. There was about half a day of drama but I didn't let it get to me and managed to have a great time. And though the rides are fun, and I'm not ruling out future trips to the park, I find the idea of rides kind of pointless these days, and not necessarily 'worth it'. It's more about the company you're keeping I think.
I just found a BSG: The Plan interview clip which said we'll find out who left the note for Adama explaining that there are 12 Cylon models. I always just assumed it was Baltar, though I've known lots of people who have questioned who it was. Glad we're getting answers to some questions. As it stands The Plan should tie into several great BSG episodes:
Tied into the Miniseries, how 'The Fall' was planned and carried out; who did Caprica Six meet? Who left the note about there being 12 models?
I'm hoping we'll also see whoever planted the Cylon Transponder discovered in the miniseries.
There's at least 1 scene set during "33", between Ellen & Cavil.
There seems to be a scene set during "Water".
There's a scene setting up the opening of "Litums".
Scenes set before & after (and possibly during) "Six Degrees of Separation" explaining why Shelly Godfrey was on Galactica and how she escaped.
Ellen's introduction in "Tigh Me Up, Tigh Me Down" will be set up.
There's a scene between Boomer & Cavil set in Galactica's brig, so between "Scattered" (2x01) & "Resistance" (2x04).
The introduction of Anders ("Resistance") & Tory ("The Captain's Hand") will be set up, as will the introduction to Tigh.
It's possible the cut scenes from Daybreak which relate to the intro of Boomer will be included.
Cavil's introduction in "Lay Down Your Burdens, Part 1" will be set up, and his airlock scene in "Lay Down Your Burdens, Part 2" (only ever spoken of) will most likely be seen.
All Good Things!
The cover art was also released; you can see it below:
posted by Bald Jason at 03:46 PM
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Mark & I went to GameStop; we traded in 3 games (including Zelda) for 24.99 or something like that; used that towards a new copy of Mario Party 8. I bought the latest(?) Spyro game; I didn't even know you could play Spyro on the Wii! ;-0)
Then we hit the storage place for boxes; K-Mart for underwear, the bank, Rite Aid for Prilosec, and LC for food. My Watchmen graphic novel arrived (along with Michael's very late birthday presents), and I'm excited to read it and watch the motion comic.
Michael wanted me to call him when I wasn't busy, and I did while we were out and about and I had 20 minutes or so to myself (because I didn't go into the storage place or K-Mart) but he didn't answer. I'll try again now.
Mollie will be here in less than a week!!!
posted by Bald Jason at 07:56 PM
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I got ahold of Michael. He'd gone shopping and forgotten his phone. He bought like 4 tv on dvd boxed sets...maybe more. He's a collector. He bought me a D.C. thing (the Green Lantern movie) but it's not connected to the DCAU that I collect and he doesn't mind returning it. I might go to a cousin's birthday party with him tomorrow (his cousin, not mine). Even if I don't, he's probably spending the night tomorrow, which would be nice.
I read a bit of Watchmen; the art and the animated comic are pretty straight on - it's really cool. I showed a comparison of them to Mark so he could give his opinion, and he deemed it: cool. He's trying to get me a better versiono of the animated one though. I'm very excited about reading Watchmen tonight, though I'm already missing Garak. I'll get back to him soon. ;-0)
I just took a break from this entry and talked to Mark about roller coasters, Watchmen, cleaning his room (which he plans to do this weekend), and my plans with Michael. It was nice. I also had a really cool conversation with Mollie earlier; can't remember if I mentioned that before. I'm kind of sleepy. I might try those Wii games while I'm waiting for the motion comic to boot up...or not.
I know that one of the gifts that Michael is giving me is "Paul of Dune" and I'm looking forward to reading that as well.
posted by Bald Jason at 09:15 PM
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Saturday, August 8, 2009
Just woke up. I could probably go right back to sleep. I had good dreams. Those odd crazy dreams that I love so much. No point and going over them now...but they were good.
I didn't get to read much Watchmen last night as Michael and I had a long phone conversation in which we both cried and laughed and yelled and I'm not sure we're going to survive much longer. I don't want it to end, but he's crazy jealous of Mark. He's upset that Mark was at Cedar Point, but I asked if Mark could come (as he'd already driven me to Sandusky Ohio and it didn't seem fair to just have him leave, though Mark had no problem with going) and he said it was fine - only he was lying, so as not to be rude. Because lying isn't rude apparently. He's mad that I asked Mark (who was closer to me and had sunblock on his hands) to put sunblock on my back (which to both Mark & I is completely non-sexual act), even though, before Mark did so, I offered the job to Michael (which he refused on the grounds that I had asked Mark first) - but he says he was forced to watch Mark "feel me up" when he'd just turned down the job himself. He thinks Mark is in love with me. He thinks the reason Mark is always looking at me is because Mark is head over heels in love with me. He thinks the reason Mark has pictures of him & I on his myspace page is because he's in love with me. He feels like Mark & I should be together and he's not good enough for me. I don't think any of that is accurate. I think Mark & I have a very special relationship that transcends that bullshit, and Michael is a very jealous person who wants me to be all his all of the time, and I am. I'm his boyfriend. We sleep in the same bed. We have sex. We laugh and talk. I tell him things I've never told anyone before (like the fact that I hate surprise parties and why I hate them - and then he tries to throw me one. Or I tell him I had a suicidal thought during a spaz attack, not having told anyone else, and he yells at me for not telling him sooner) But he doesn't see it that way because the closest friend I've ever had just happened to have sex with me YEARS ago. Mark is jealous of Michael because if things between Mark & I had been different we could be a couple - but they weren't and they never will be and he accepts that. I understand that because I've experienced that with more than one ex-bf and it didn't mean I was in love with them anymore, it just meant that I saw what they had and recognized that that's something I could have had with them and that made me jealous. Michael is jealous of Mark because he sees him as a threat (I think), that maybe Mark & I have the closeness that Michael wants us to have right now - and that's impossible. That kind of closeness takes a long time, and Michael and I can totally make it there if he just chills...but the reverse isn't true for Mark - he and I will never be together as a couple ever again. We've both acknowledged that and discussed that many times. We are affectionate though, and it's just something that we don't think about because we've been so much to each other. We used to shower together (completely non-sexual) but that bothered Michael so I stopped and I was ok with that. Apparently Mark rubbed my shoulders one day and gave me a kiss (like you would give your grandma) and this really upset Michael (only he's just telling me now) and I'm sure it was something Mark and I didn't think of as anything at all, and if he'd said something at the time we would have apologised; we weren't trying to flaunt anything or disrespect him. I told Michael I'd talk to Mark about limiting our affectionate kisses in the future; that our touching would be reduced... But I'm not sure this will change the core of this. I mean...I don't like to go out. I just don't. And Michael wants to go for a walk sometime and I don't. And then the one day I feel like walking, Michael isn't here (because he's not here 24/7) and Mark is and he walks with me, and this translates to Michael as that I'd rather walk with Mark than him - when what it really means is that when I wanted to walk I did, and when I didn't want to walk I didn't. And that's all it means. It doesn't have anything to do with Mark. It doesn't have anything to do with Michael. And if Michael had been around he could have walked with me, and if Mark didn't want to go I'd have walked by myself. I just wonder what the next thing to bother Michael will be... Because I don't think he believes me when I tell him the Mark / Jason couple has been forever severed. I will not abandon Mark. He's closer than family and friend; that's something rare and something to be treasured and I know that. But I'm not complete with him. And while I'd be fine on my own I want a partner that can complete aspects of me that Mark can't. I want a boyfriend; a lover and confidante and a partner. Someone who understands me. And if that someone could understand that Mark isn't a threat to them in any way at all - that would be really cool.
My phone is dead and I don't know where my phone charger is.
It's raining.
posted by Bald Jason at 11:03 AM
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Sunday, August 9, 2009
Michael & I talked more yesterday. I went with him to his cousin's first birthday; his name's Lucas. Lucas's mom Michelle is also Michael's cousin. Her mom Kathy (Michael's Aunt) was the one throwing the party. Michael's mother Vicky & his sister Sarah were there as well; his older sister Rhonda, and his father Gary didn't make it. His other aunts were there (I can remember Terry) except for the youngest one, Peggy, who lives 5 hours away in the middle of nowhere, because her husband who's into contruction got this great deal on a house and is making it a very special place. Kathy & Terry and Michelle all seemed to rock. Michael's mom doesn't approve of the gay thing. Kathy & Michelle don't care and it was Kathy who told Michael that he could bring me, and Michelle introduced us as a couple at one point without blinking. I also met Jim (Terry's husband), and Michael's maternal grandparents who were visiting from Arizona, who both were friendly.
We came home after that a slept a bit, but Mark was cleaning and it was loud and I was hungry, so we got up. Later we wrestled and played and had a good day. Michael eventually left. I chilled. I listend to the BSG Season 4 soundtrack and relaxed. I read some more Watchmen. I slept.
I had awesome dreams again. That often happens when I'm reading good books and watching cool movies. I remember bits and pieces. Mollie & Adam & I at Meijer getting groceries; a cashier offending Adam and him running into the warzone of a parking lot; Mollie chasing him...me getting lost and finding a freezing to death Heath Ledger in an abandoned bus; and me trying to warm him up but knowing he was dying...with him crying on me and Michael trying to calm him. Watching a movie about insane lovers; one laying almost completely submerged in rain water in the gutter. Cat People fucking. A random ghetto dessert. Me sleeping in my old bedroom at my parents house, only it was in the jungle. And finally waking up under the covers and thinking I was still in that room.
I'm all acidy. I forgot to take my prilosec last night which means I can't eat anything for about 12 hours, which sucks because I'm hungry and I wanted to hang out with Michael, Danny & Marc today....Only I don't think I can if I can't eat.
I kind of want to work on my DCAU page. I need to figure out the order for about 17 episodes in the 1993 section and that will help quite a lot. It would be cool if once I have this figured out I could have them print me copies with them in this order, because it's almost nothing like how they were released on DVD. A complete boxed set of the Superman series is coming out this Fall; I have all the sets, but the complete set comes with a bonus disc and it would save me some trouble. If I got the new set I could give the old one to Bryan or someone who likes the DCAU, except that Bryan doesn't like the Superman section as much as me. I don't know why.
Mollie will be here in 5 days.
Oh. Michael & Mark both work on my birthday. They're both upset about this, but I'm fine with it. My party is on Saturday and I'm fine with that. My actual birthday might be a nice time for me to chill on my own. I hope they don't stress too much about it.
posted by Bald Jason at 12:00 PM
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I read more of Watchmen; finished Part IV. I'm really enjoying it. It's slow reading because you have to look at all the details in the pictures while you're reading, and much of the story is very complex. I can see why so many people have come to love it.
posted by Bald Jason at 02:43 PM
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My jaw is giving me trouble today. I can't open my mouth all the way. Didn't notice until now as I was avoiding food...but I was risking a snack. Ouch. A lot. :-0( I took my not worth much muscle relaxers; hopefully they help. I'll start the hot & cold soon.
Having now seen the trailers for "The Lovely Bones" & "The Imaginarium for Doctor Parnassus" I can now confirm I want to see both. I recommend people track down the trailers and see what they think. ;-)
posted by Bald Jason at 03:19 PM
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I watched a LOST webisode. I'm probably not supposed to be watching such material until later in the series, but I have no way of knowing if these will be available when I get to the last season. This new set of webisodes they're doing are interesting; not part of the show so much as...well, it's a fake tv show that supposedly aired on ABC in the 80's. It's kind of cool.
posted by Bald Jason at 07:02 PM
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The trailers I mentioned earlier:
The song in the 2nd trailer is "Alice" by Cocteau Twins; haven't heard that in forever!
posted by Bald Jason at 08:33 PM
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I'm reading chapter VIII of Watchmen; there are 12 chapters all together I think, so I'm over half way through. Really geeked about watching the movie when I'm done.
I just burned another disc for my Lost project; 4 more to go in this session. This will pay off soon I think.
My jaw is no longer locked.
I need to clip my nails. It drives me crazy to not have them cut...except for my right index finger which I keep longer for scratching. I'm odd. lol
I'll be 35 in less than 3 days. Mollie will be here in less than five days.
I'm hoping to finish Watchmen in the next 24 hours and watch the movie. Then get to working on the DCAU page again, which will involve watching several Batman episodes.
I'm going to take more prilosec soon, and try a almond milk non dairy shake.
posted by Bald Jason at 10:54 PM
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Monday, August 10, 2009
On chapter X of Watchmen. Less than 3 chapters left; very gay inclusive, though I'm told the movie isn't as much. It's not unexpected as the gay characters aren't the central characters of the story. I'm impressed that any of them made it into the film; not to mention the full frontal male nudity.
Also have 3 discs left to burn and I'll be done for at least a few days.
I doubt I'll be able to stay up to watch the Watchmen movie if I manage to finish the graphic novel tonight; the extended cut is 186 minutes long; 3 hours and 6 minutes.
posted by Bald Jason at 01:02 AM
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2 chapters left in Watchmen...but I think I need to sleep now.
posted by Bald Jason at 02:34 AM
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1 chapter left. Can I stay awake?
posted by Bald Jason at 03:29 AM
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Started the last chapter of Watchmen but fell asleep. Woke up hours later with terrible headache.
posted by Bald Jason at 09:42 AM
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Took some ibuprofin; head feels a bit better already. Finished reading Watchmen. 1 disc left to burn. Might watch the extended cut of Watchmen this morning. I know some aspects of the ending are changed in the movie, but I'm curious how that change translates on the screen; very interested in seeing how it all ends on film. Very dark story.
Underworld 4 will be filmed in 3D.
Scream 4 is on the way.
Resident Evil 4 coming soon (also in 3D).
Spider-Man 4 is in the works.I'll probably see all of those at one point or another. Underworld 3 was my least favorite in that series and has some bits that annoyed me; there's no word yet on what the story for 4 will be; perhaps it will be better. Scream 4 could be good; just the fun of seeing old characters return could be nice...but if it sucks it could taint the original 3 which ended when they needed to. Resident Evil 3 was kind of pointless, but the ending set something cool up, and Part IV is said to have the biggest budget of the first 4 films which is promising...and Mila's back so I'll watch it - she's just yummy. I think Spider-Man is annoying to some degree; I don't like him as a character and wouldn't rate any of the first 3 films as winners, but the last one was such a mess (parts of it were really good, but the parts that sucked were worse than anything in the other films). Perhaps Part IV will get it right?
How many part 4's are actually good?
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace was horrible. Halloween 4 (The Return of Michael Myers) is my favorite in that series. Bride of Chucky (Child's Play 4) was the best in that series. I enjoy A Nightmare on Elm Street 4 (The Dream Master), though I wouldn't call it the best. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (Part IV) is kind of the best of those movies up to that point. Alien: Resurrection was good (though with the upcoming Alien prequel and Aliens vs. Predator movies, the orginal Alien will be the 4th Alien installment, which is even better. The 4th Predator movie (AVP2) was horrible, but the upcoming Predators movie might change where that movie falls in line. The 4th Omen movie was a tv movie and was pretty good. With the 4th Exorcist movie being a prequel (no matter which version you've seen) #3 becomes the 4th film, in which case it's an ok outing; almost an epilogue to that series. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home is well liked, but not even in the top 5 of that series if you ask me. The 4th Star Wars movie could be 'Phantom Menace' or "A New Hope" depending on how you're looking at it, and I don't love either one. Harry Potter 4 was the best in the movie series until the 5th one arrived. Hellraiser IV was the worst in the series (until further sequels arrived). Saw IV took a continuity rich series and screwed it, making further sequels (that never fixed this mistake) almost pointless. The new Hobbit film will be the 4th Middle Earth movie, though when the 2 are finished The Two Towers will stand as Part IV; the extended cut of which is pretty damned good. If you count the original theatrical version of Casino Royale then Goldfinger is the 4th James Bond movie - which is excellent, but if not then you have Thunderball as number 4 which is merely ok. Or perhaps you split those films up by actor in which case Thunderball is Sean's 4th, Moonraker is Moore's, & Die Another Day is Brosnan's - all ok movies; none of them fantastic, but none of them terrible, IMO. I don't remember enough of Critters IV to really comment on it, but I remember not loving it. The Howling Part IV (The Original Nightmare) was perhaps the worst movie sequel I've ever seen. Even 'Batman and Robin' had stuff happen in it, though the stuff that happend was incredibly stupid. I have vague memories of 'The Next Karate Kid' being lame, but it might have been better than Part III. The 2 Scorpion King movies make The Mummy Returns the 4th movie in that series (which I think is actually the best only rewatchable film in that series). Rocky IV was ok though I never need to see it again. With the new Wolverine movie X-Men 3 is the 4th in that series and though many loathe it I actually liked that one. This argument seems pointless though, as there will be another Wolverine movie and probably a Magneto prequel as well (and possibly other prequels and sequels) making it hard to classify which is the 4th film in the series. Jaws: The Revenge (Jaws 4) was the worst in that series; one of the worst sequels ever made. I never saw Rambo (First Blood Part IV) or Phantasm IV (Oblivion) or Beyond Re-Animator so I can't comment on those. House IV was crap. I never saw anything in the Amityville Horror series beyond the original film. Never made it past 2 or 3 of the Texis Chainsaws. That's all the Part IV's I can think of at the moment.
posted by Bald Jason at 10:18 AM
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Just got off the phone with Chris after a conversation about my party, BSG, Lost, Watchmen, nudity in film, and the non sexual nature of erections. Fun. Had to let her go as we were on Mark's phone and he had to leave for work. If I'd been thinking about it I'd have gotten ready and driven him so I could get my BSG discs back from Carrie and give them to Chris.
posted by Bald Jason at 12:38 PM
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I watched "Watchmen". It's not a perfect movie, but it's good; probably the best superhero movie. Some of the music choices were annoying. I think I would have liked it better if I'd seen it before reading the novel. They take a lot of the gay stuff out and it seems less balanced; there's no truly positive gay stuff in the movie, while the novel felt more balanced - good and bad, for everyone. The changes to the ending worked. The blue penis that most straight guys seemed to make a big deal about was nothing at all. Straight guys are weird.
posted by Bald Jason at 06:20 PM
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Left Jennifer a voicemail; I missed a call from her earlier. I had a great conversation with Mollie. We stopped so we could eat. I had some heart of romain leaves dunked in some sauce; yum. Now I'm having a shake made with almond milk and non dairy ice stuff. ;-0)
I miss Michael.
posted by Bald Jason at 07:39 PM
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Tuesday, August 11, 2009
I can't seem to sleep.
posted by Bald Jason at 03:33 AM
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Chatted on gay.com for a bit. Now that I have a boyfriend, I find myself chatting with other guys with boyfriends. It helps us to avoid getting hit up for sex all the time I think. I'm super sleepy. I should go to bed.
posted by Bald Jason at 04:37 AM
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Finally going to bed...or trying to. My stomach was upset most of yesterday evening into this morning. My fault; hadn't taken my Reglan, but my doc has told me to avoid it when I can, so I did. I'll take it tomorrow though. I feel kind of subdued.
Travis & I talked last night. He was drunk. He said wild things that made me laugh. Funny how things turn out.
I'm sooooooooooo exhausted, but I feel like I should be doing more.
posted by Bald Jason at 06:09 AM
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I didn't get to bed this morning until around 8am. I got up around noon. I meant to get a lot of cleaning done today, but I didn't get nearly as much done as I'd hoped. I took the plastic & glass out to the recycle bins. I washed my bedding and made my bed. I cleaned up my room a bit. But that's about it. I had a short visit with Carrie today, which was nice, and she returned my BSG discs which I can now loan to Chris and Bryan. I ate. Even with my pills it's hard to keep salad down; it's not painful coming back up, but it's annoying; not sure what's up with that. I'm currently working on a possible DCAU continuity flaw, but I think it's just one of those cases where information was given on screen that was never expected to be poured over the way I'm doing right now. Wish me luck figuring this stuff out; I'm going to need it! lol
I'm tired. And apparently I'm tired a lot (which isn't that shocking with my meds). I can do a search for particular words in my blog, and I looked for 'tire' the other day and wow, am I ever tired. lol
posted by Bald Jason at 09:53 PM
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Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Mark got home last night at like 1 to midnight and wished me happy birthday with a card. He'd gotten me some shirts too, which were more his style than mine, but we're working something out on those. lol. It amused me. I slept extremely well.
I woke up from good dreams. Dreams involving family (my cousin Mike White, my sister Jamie & I running from a funny zombie, defending my sister's Janice's honor by beating up a guy I went to school with that took some misleading pictures of her) and school and church friends. It was all very strange but highly enjoyable. I had a slight headache though so I took some ibuprofen and slept another hour, waking up feeling great, well rested, relaxed and ready to drive Mark to work so I could get some groceries.
I shaved and showered. I have some nice facial hair right now; I think it looks pretty good. I dressed. Felt like a million buck. I drove Mark to work and he took some pictures of me to document my 35th birthday. I went to Whole Foods and got my groceries, staying within my budget. I tried some of the new stuff when I got home (kiwi, walnuts and spinach, and some whole mushrooms - I liked all of it); gonna have a non-dairy shake soon. I wanted to try some form of tofu & some cheese substitutes but I couldn't find any - Carrie might have to help me track some down. I answered birthday wishes from friends and family on facebook. And I called to thank my grandma for the card she sent me.
I need to call Janice later and get ahold of Mollie. I may work on my DCAU thing later, or go for a walk. I want to get some more pictures. Michael will be here later too. So far I'm having a very nice birthday.
posted by Bald Jason at 03:07 PM
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Saturday, August 15, 2009
Thank you Mark, for fixing my computer. I couldn't reach the ball on my mouse to turn on any sound files and I would never leave anything out to intentionaly hurt you. You know that. Mollie was there and saw the whole thing. I think you were tired and exhausted and upset. I'm so happy to have a working computer; my computer with all my info to work on all my projects. Thank you!
Michael. Thank you for coming out to help me clean on Thursday! Thank you for throwing me this party! You sounded sad on the phone but wouldn't tell me why. I'm very grateful for you bringing Mollie out here; she's been back with me for less than 24 hours and I've already had so much fun!!! It means everything to me...
Mollie. It's so good to see you and be near you again. Thank you for making me laugh so much. You make me so happy without even trying and I don't know anyone else who can do that. You listen and I'm blessed to have you in my life no matter how long between visits.
In the last few days, my computer has been thought dead, only to now return. I had a great visit with Michael (he made me feel extra good), but then he ate and got sick. I was worried about him. He went home while I was out getting food and picking up Mark from work.
Michael joined me on Friday to help me clean. I cleaned the shower and the toilet, and did laundry - and did dishes. Michael cleaned the kitchen, touched up the bathroom, took out the trash, and all sorts of things. Michael left me feeling saner than I'd been in hours (having my computer 'die' on me was more stressful than anyone knew - I kept it together pretty well). Mark came home early from work to clean up his room for Mollie. I went to bed around 9pm and slept until 1am. We picked up Mollie from the bus station at 6:30am on Friday morning, came home and went to sleep.
We all got up around 1:30pm. Mollie & I went to Whole Foods and Kroger, then back home. I tried a bunch of new stuff, and will be trying more new stuff today & tomorrow. Later we 3 went to the storage place, Little Caesars and Taco Bell on the way to Mark's work to play poker; I left them there to go to my grandma's. Grandma took some clothes that don't fit me or Mark, and fixed my shorts and shirt, then I came back to the poker game - I don't play, but it was fun to laugh and watch them play. Mollie one a few hands and got like $17.00. We went to Whole Foods again and I got some more stuff; frozen stuff. I got Tofu Dogs, and fake cheese products, and flatbread, and these cool vegie chips. It was a good time.
When we got home Mollie & I played Wii (sports and boom blox), while Mark worked on my computer. So much laughter. So much fun. Mark fixed the computer, despite my clumsy disaster ridden nature. It was all good until it was bedtime. Then exhaustion was setting in, and it got kind of ugly. Hopefully it all blows over.
We're going to the party at Michael's tomorrow. We're taking Chris & Adam. My cousin Joy is supposed to be there too. I hope it goes well.
I'm tired.
There's been some movie news in the last few days. The new Predator movie "Predators" is hoping to start filming on September 28; good news. Also, Kate Beckinsale is rumored to be returning for Underworld 4. A new Godzilla movie is in the works. Bryan Singer is doing yet another new version of Battlestar Galactica. I think it's a mistake so soon after the recent tv version; it will be confusing for the audience, and it seems rude to make a remake less than a year after the recent one ended - with at least 1 tv movie and a spin-off series coming soon.
I've seen interresting movie trailers for "The Fourth Kind" & "Legion". New images from James Cameron's "Avatar" are awesome.
posted by Bald Jason at 04:02 AM
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Woke up early. Took a shower and shaved. Spoke to Mark. Woke Mollie up. The party was delayed an hour, but we headed out. We went to the candy store for a hat, the comic shop, Meijer, Adam's, Chris's and off to the party. We were late, but it was nice. Jennifer arrived after us. The whole party; the whole day was beautiful; so good to see Michael. So good to see everyone. So good to hear new Jennifer / Mollie / Adam / Chris stories...but it was hot and I hadn't gotten enough sleep so it was exhausting too, but I deeply appreciated all of it. It was a great day.
After the party we headed back to Ann Arbor (which Chris driving as I'd mixed Midrin with alcohol), and then stopped at GameStop to get some Wii controllers and a game - dropped Chris off, where I got my BSG discs back (and borrowed Lost Season 4) and then headed back to our place, where Michael also arrived. I took a shower and wrote this; everyone else is playing Wii downstairs. I need to get dressed.
I'm tired. And though I'm very, very happy to see everyone, it was nice to have a bit of alone time, as I cherish that too. I'll be happy when I have a day this week when I can work on my DCAU page again. Maybe I can do some of that tonight, but I'm afraid Michael will be annoyed if I don't pay complete attention to him...I just need something to wind me down.
posted by Bald Jason at 09:08 PM
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Sunday, August 16, 2009
Adam, Mollie, Michael & I played Mario Party 8. I came in 2nd Place. It's a strange game and it went on a long time. Mark watched most of the game. Afterwards we were all mostly tired. Just before we played I tried a tofu dog, but it had no flavor so I added mustard on a multigrain bun, which were all new things. I want to try relish. I'm tired, but I had a shake after the game to keep me awake on the drive to drop Adam off, only Mark volunteered to do that at the last minute. I would have joined them, but Mark mentioned going to the store for some things, and while I'm sitting awake...I don't think I'm awake enough to go to the store.
Friday & Saturday were good days. Michael is sleeping in my bed right now. I'd like to join him and fall away into cuddly sleep, but my tummy won't let me. I'm ok though. I'd work on my DCAU thing but I lack the energy even for that. My life is a lot of fun right now. I hope it lasts. But if not, I'm savoring what I have for the moment.
posted by Bald Jason at 01:39 AM
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Monday, August 17, 2009
I slept well with Michael on Sunday morning, though I did have a nightmare that I had to walk off before going back to bed. We got up a bit after noon. Michael had to leave; he had to work at 5pm and things to do. Mollie & Mark were soon up. We relaxed indoors as it was so hot outside. Adam was supposed to join us but was tired and is coming over tonight instead. We watched some tv, and 2 episodes of Battlestar Galactica (Mollie has 3 episodes left). We played some Wii (Mario Galaxy, Tennis, Wii Games). We played several games of Pandemic. We watched more tv. I had another tofu dog; this one with mustard and banana peppers (the peppers were new for me). I also tried some fauxe cheese with flat bread and have come to the conclusion that flat bread isn't good with anything but flatbread. We were up past 1am. Mollie took a shower and I was going to shower after that, but I had a fairly minor spaz attack over my eating again, and cried myself to sleep. I woke soon after to the phone ringing; it was Michael. He sounded odd and asked if he was ok; if his grandmother was ok and he fell to pieces. His grandmother can't be helped; she's dying and there's nothing anyone can do. He said that he'd be busy with family stuff the next few days and that if he didn't call or anything that I shouldn't feel ignored and I told him I understood. I feel like I should be with him, but I'm not sure he wants me there. He knew that he'd woken me up, for though I'd only been asleep a short while my voice sounded weird; probably from me crying. I went back to sleep wishing I was giving Michael a big hug, and slept until around 8am. I took a shower and read the news and wrote this.
We're supposed to try to track down my dad today, amongst other things, and then hang out with Adam tonight playing more games.
posted by Bald Jason at 10:36 AM
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Tuesday, August 18, 2009
I wasn't feeling well by the time Mark & Mollie got up on Monday so they went to the store and searched for my father without me; leaving a note on his door, just as I had planned on doing. I felt better by the time they returned home. In retrospect I should have slept, instead of using the time to clean my room, and work on my DCAU page, but I had no idea I'd be awake so long.
I spoke to Michael on the phone. His grandmother wasn't doing that well at the time. She's being kept alive by machines and last I heard they were trying to make a life or death decision. It's all very terrible and very stressful. In my heart I think she's probably ready to go, but I don't know her well enough to say. But her quality of life would have to go down from where she is now, and she didn't look like she was in the best of health before. My heart goes out to her though, and her family, especially Michael. They seem like such a good bunch of people; not perfect, but what family is?
We picked up Adam around 7pm, and went to GameStop to return one of the Wii Controllers that we had bought used because it didn't include a strap and we also found a new one online for cheaper. We also went to Whole Foods which has become one of my favorite places in the world. I got some things I'd never had and tried them. Later Mollie made pasta for us all and I liked that too, but I didn't like that it cooled off so fast; I preferred it hot. We had garlic bread as well. It was nice to have a meal prepared at home and we ate together - it was very strange for me.
We played Apples to Apples, and Pandemic, along with some Wii Games. The first game of Pandemic was fun, but around that point I started getting extremely tired and cranky, and Mark & Adam didn't seem to be getting along...and I was worried the night was going to end badly, but that didn't happen. We eventually took Adam home and returned to the condo, but on the way there I started coughing and had a hard time stopping. Mollie later pointed out that she was sneezing around Adam and that it might be that he's from a house that was filled with cats for a long time and maybe our allergies reacted to that. I hope she's right; I hate being sick.
I'm EXHAUSTED. I really would like to work on my DCAU page. I'm very excited to have the time to do that...only I don't have the time that I want. lol I did work on it a bit earlier; fixing some problems that I've found, but I didn't really move the process forward...just worked on what I'd already done.
I'm going to bed as soon as I finish my tea, which is supposed to be good for the immune system.
posted by Bald Jason at 04:58 AM
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I went right to sleep after the last entry. I plugged my phone in the charger first, which had died. I forgot that when you plug this phone in and it lights up it's not on; it's just charging. My previous phone was always 'on' when charging; when plugged in. I slept well, with odd memories of movies and a dream about my still living grandmother's funeral. Mark woke me up amidst blinding headache pain to tell me that Michael couldn't get through to me so he'd called Mark to let him know they were taking his grandmother off life support; Mark said that he had asked Michael if he should wake me, but Michael said no. Mark woke me anyways and I called Michael right away but there was no answer. He texted soon after to ask if he could see me later, and I said yes. There was a new text from him from earlier that read "I need you. Where are you?" which broke my heart. Last night I had something close to an argument with Mark because he and Mollie had planned on going to look for a new car today even if I didn't go - a decision that should be shared by Mark & I - but that I wanted to go visit Michael because of what was going on with him and I was worried about him. Mark and Mollie said that tomorrow is probably the only day that Mark can go look at a car on his vacation as we have plans every other day - but I'm not understanding why he needs to go on his vacation. It annoys me. I feel left out, ignored, invisible - and extremely useless. My head hurts so bad! And to add insult to injury...everything I've eaten in the last 24 hours seems to have made me extremely farty. Maybe this is normal? I wouldn't know. The foods I've been eating most of my life seldom had that effect. It's not fun. I just made sure the phone ringer was on full blast...and took my midrin with some tea.
My thoughts are with Michael.
posted by Bald Jason at 02:05 PM
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Wednesday, August 19, 2009
I got up later, and my headache was mostly gone. I hung out with Mark & Mollie. I spoke to Michael before that and he was planning on coming over later to see me. I wanted to stay home to be with him, as he had no way of telling me when he'd be over as he was spending time with his dying grandmother, and I didn't want to pressure him to rush or anything. My midrin didn't kill the headache and it was coming back so I took some ibuprofen which killed it. Mark's parents came over later which was cool except his stepmom was coughing on her hands and all over everything - and basically spit in my new juice which led me to dump that out. Later I went to bed and Mark & Mollie went to look at cars. Right before falling asleep (for about an hour) Michael texted and said he'd be over soon; he arrived shortly after I woke (to find that Mollie & Mark had left). Michael seemed interested in going to Pizza Hut with Mark & Mollie so I went and got him to go though I knew I wouldn't be able to eat anything there. After that we went to Whole Foods for more juice, and to the gas station for candy, as I had a craving for M&Ms (plus we put gas in the car. We played euchre, but the game was interrupted with a call saying things were looking grim for Michael's grandma so he had to go; I went with him. It felt good to be helping in any small way that I could, and his sister Rhonda later thanked me for coming with him. His grandmother started doing better again and Michael wanted to leave, feeling that he'd made his peace with her and she was being well looked after. We came home and showered and got ready for bed but I was hungry so I went down stairs for a snack, chatting with Mollie & Mark, then came upstairs and wrote this. I'll be brushing my teeth and then going to bed probably.
I need to pick up my dad at 1pm tomorrow and meet my sister here at the house at 1:30pm.
posted by Bald Jason at 03:46 AM
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Sunday, August 23, 2009
So much happened in the last few days and I'm too tired to get into all of it. Suffice it to say I mended fences with Mark but pissed off Michael (we're now on a break). Mollie has been in the hospital since Friday, hopefully getting the help that she needs. I spent 7 hours at the hospital with her last night, and will surely spend still more with her later today, which doesn't suck as much as it might seem like it would, as Mollie & I are together and that's almost always a good time.
posted by Bald Jason at 03:46 AM
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Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Watched BSG & Torchwood with Mollie yesterday. Couldn't sleep last night despite being very tired. Will most likely sleep the day away, and I'm ok with that. Mollie will be off with Adam & Karen; Mark will be at work. I can relax, work on my DCAU page and read.
posted by Bald Jason at 08:07 AM
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My stomach has been very hit or miss the last few days; mostly miss. lol. Hopefully it improves. I just had some almonds, chow mein noodles, soy cheese & lemon/mango juice.
And I'm missing Michael.
posted by Bald Jason at 09:14 PM
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Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Woke up a bit ago.
Michael & I had a very serious chat last night. I hope things work out.
Caught up on the 5 most recent True Blood episodes this morning; a week from Sunday and the season will end. It's really good so far, though I think the last episode was a minor misstep; it almost felt like I'd missed an episode - but other than that it's mostly been fangtastic.I have a slight headache, that seems to be getting worse.
I was actually hoping to get up much earlier and drive Mark to work so I could get groceries. I'll just make do until tomorrow I guess.
Mollie should be back here sometime today.
I don't know what her plans are for Thursday, but it looks like Bryan wants to hang out with her, and I know his mother wanted to see her too. Hopefully everyone gets to see her before she goes home on Friday.
posted by Bald Jason at 05:53 PM
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Sunday, August 30, 2009
I've had a good weekend so far.
On Thursday, Mollie & I hung out with Diana, Bryan & Robert. We played cards and talked and had a good time. Thursday night Michael joined me for the best Michael / Jason visit in a long while. Mark & I took Mollie to the bus station on Friday (after I woke up from a fun if extremely random sex dream), but there was some drama with the trains / buses so she ended up staying an extra day, so I got sleep & Michael cuddles + more Mollie - which was awesome. The three of us (minus Mark, who wasn't feeling well) played cards, went to pizza house (I had cinnimon sticks with icing (new) and beer (new). We wandered downtown, stopped at home for a pit-stop, then wandered some more, ending up at Aut Bar for awhile. Jeremy, Jordan, MV, Andy, David (Steve Ball's friend) and others were there; Terry was not there but we saw him earlier at Borders. When we got home we played more games, including Jenga, Rummy(?) and Mario Party 8 before bed. More good sleeping, then Michael left to get some stuff done, and Mark & I again saw Mollie off at the bus station (this time making sure she got on the bus), and headed home. I eventually slept.
When I woke I ate and then joined Carrie at her going away party, at her friend Daniel's house in Dexter, where she's currently staying. I met Daniel, and Mary, and Cheryl, and Meg, and Mel, and Billy, and George, Jen & Ben, encountered Thomas, and I'm probably forgetting some people, but I had a really good time (once I found the place). I came home; texted Michael; ate; played some games and I'll probably pass out soon.
posted by Bald Jason at 07:07 AM
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Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday I caught up on the last 5 episodes of "The Closer". Sunday night I finally started watching more of Dollhouse, starting with the 2nd episode and watching until episode #5. I remembered the first episode being terrible, and the 2nd episode starting out pretty badly. It got better as it went though, and I'm enjoying it now, which is cool as I have all the episodes to watch, plus the new season will most likely start soon.
Between "The Closer" & "Dollhouse" I had a brief chat with Sean Mobley who is moving to Clinton Township soon (he puts his 2 week notice in on Tuesday), which means he'll only be an hour away now and he wants to hang out. October will be a year since I last saw him, and we talked about that. He told me about his recent boyfriend, who was 17, and Sean says he can empathize with me now. lol. I showed him pictures of Michael and Sean was impressed. It was a good conversation. He went to bed and I went to eat the last of my tofu.
Also, around 3am my jaw locked up again. That's been happening more often and it scares me. But my muscle relaxents worked again, and fairly quickly... The thing is, I always suspected such things were related to stress, but as far as I can tell...I haven't had any stress this weekend.
After passing out this morning I woke up around 2:30pm with a HORRIBLE headache. Usually I get a heads up when I'm getting a headache but this one had already arrived in full force with a reminder of why I take my meds at the start of one of these fuckers; the pain was unreal; I wanted to be put down. Thankfully my meds worked within an hour (though it felt like days) and I woke up around 6pm feeling fine.
I'll probably watch more of Dollhouse today, and try to get to the new True Blood (which is the penultimate episode of Season 2). Beyond that, I don't have much going on.
posted by Bald Jason at 06:43 PM
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I read more of Dune: House Atreides, which I'm enjoying, and then slept a bit. I spoke with Michael earlier. Not sure what I'll do now.
posted by Bald Jason at 11:55 PM
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