Saturday, July 1, 2006

I was late to work on Friday; a bad day for the dog. I was just dropping Mark off at work, when Jeremy called me. He said that he thought that I worked at 1pm, and it turned out he was at my work, waiting to say hello to me before he went into work himself! ;-0) Well, I got there as fast as I could; walked into work, scanning the room for him, walked up to him with a big smile on my face and kissed him. He couldn't stay, but I introduced him to Bobby & Bryan, and again to DJ. DJ, with a twinkle in his eye, said: "What, now goodbye kiss?" and I dropped my stuff, and walked Jeremy to his car. It was short and sweet, and it made my day!

We were mostly dead. Though Janella stopped in, and I saw Jean Wiggins, and a few other people that I haven't seen in ages. Janella & I chatted for awhile and we might hang out on Thursday, which would be nice as I haven't spent any time with her or Solomon in recent months.

I didn't rent Basic Instinct 2, because it's not availble until next week. I did some work. I talked to Bobby, who is newly promoted (cool) as Jeff is leaving us. Bobby has wanted this promotion for a long time, and I'm glad he finally got it. He also shared a youtube video with me which rocked. I hope Bobby is ok.

I later worried about making Jeremy late to work, and decided I'd get Kim flowers, as I thought that Kim was his boss (only she isn't - in fact, he doesn't really have one. DJ suggested that I just go do that as they had more than enough people working, and more were soon to arrive. I jumped at the chance to help out Jeremy. I went to Kroger and bought some really great flowers, then went to Encore only they had just closed, and Kim was gone. I called Jeremy and he was at WRAP so I took the flowers to him, as he was going to hang out with her later at the Rainbow Room, and he said he would give them to her.

It was great seeing him again so soon. He said I was very sweet, and we had some quality conversation time. We generally do have good strong conversations, which is why I enjoy talking to him. There's always a bit of lust in there too, so...it's really fun. I couldn't stay for long as I had to pick up Mark. Jeremy told me that Danny had made plans for them both for the 4th, which is unusual, I guess. He also said that Danny was going to the Rainbow Room with him & Kim, and that Danny had been thankful for the invite to join us the other night. They're slowly watching DS9... And there was a lot of other talk that I don't need to repeat here. I called Mark to tell him I was leaving from WRAP, and might be a few minutes late picking him up. He told me he needed a hug, and that the other dog at work had attacked Heidi, and they had taken her to a vet. I said my goodbyes to Jeremy, and I was on my way.

The dog didn't look that bad, but I guess there had been a lot of blood earlier, which must have been pretty grusome. Mark really did need a hug, and I gave him one of my best. I drove us to the gas station, and then Mark took us to McDonalds for food, on the way home. I did some writing when I got home, and gave Chad a call. I was tired so I went to bed, and slept for about 3 hours, and called Chad back about 1am. We decided we'd try to hang out tonight.

I cleaned my room up a bit (not that you can tell that from looking at it now). I got some writing done, and scanned a bunch more pictures for my dedications page. That took forever of course. I updated the music on my myspace page. I thought about a lot of stuff, and I went back to bed.

I slept until about 1pm, took a shower, and came back to my room to find that Kim had called so I called her back. She thanked me for the flowers and let me know that she's not Jeremy's boss. I think she was a little disappointed when she found out why I got the flowers for her, which makes me want to get her more flowers, just for the hell of it. She said that Danny didn't go with them last night because he was still helping his friend move, which made me worry about Jeremy. She said that he got really, extremely wasted at the bar(s); they went to an after-party kind of thing at "stingers"? And poor Kim was once again hit on my a multitude of straight/confused boys at the gay bars. She let me go so she could mow her lawn (that's not some kinky code - she was actually cutting the grass) - and I talked to Mark for a little while.

Mark wandered out, and Chad gave me a call. We'll probably hang out here later, which means I should clean my room some more. I slept some more. I'm all about relaxing today. I found a poem that mentioned Jeremy just after I met him in September 2001, so I called him and left him a message about it, and let him know I hoped he was doing ok. I worked on my webpage some more. I wrote this. And now...I'm going to do something else.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:19 PM
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   Sunday, July 2, 2006

post deleted

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:02 PM
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   Tuesday, July 4, 2006

I've decided not to post the sordid details of Saturday night/Sunday morning. Given the number of people whom I know actually read my blog, it seems tacky to shell out all that shit, even if it might help me in the short term. I have other outlets, after all.

But the gist of it is, that Jeremy and I are no longer "dating". We care about each other and we will hopefully be great friends. That sounds stupid, but it's the truth. I'm not even sure all that much will change, at least I hope that it won't. I'm kind of torn up about the whole thing, even though it was my idea. I think it was the right decision, and yet, I really... And I'm going on about it again, aren't I?

Sunday night at Hollywood was beyond busy. I was in no mood for shit, and took none. I also may have stretched the dress code a bit, but it was better than calling in, which I considered, as my stomach was stressed beyond the point of common sense - I just didn't want to make things worse for my coworkers, and I just bit the bullet and went into work.

Chad stopped by to rent some dvds. I was just going on my break so I went in sat in his truck for awhile. I'm not sure what we talked about; I was pretty out of it. I went inside and watched some DS9; not daring to eat anything for fear of the consequences. The customers only got more annoying as the night dragged on. Andrea left around 10pm, and Nate was a real trooper. We talked about some stuff that I needed to talk about, so I'm really glad he was there.

After work I came home, and took a nap on my bed, with my clothes on. Later, I washed my sheets and pillow cases. I slept without them as they were in the dryer when I went to bed. I wrote poetry, and worked on some artwork, before bed. I felt numb, and was nearly grateful for it. I can't really express to you enough how disoriented I was starting Saturday night, and well into Monday.

When I was finally crawling out of bed on Monday it was about 4pm. I felt more centered than I expected to. I got some more writing done, and made some real progress on Jeremy's cd, which I've been working on, and he now knows about so I can talk about it here. One of the songs that I didn't think I could use, looks like it will probably be the first track on the cd - and it pretty much rocks. I have some idea about how and why the cd will end. I have 3 or 4 songs that are perfect for it, and others that are required, and still more that just feel good. It could could be fantastic, if a bit intense, but that's kind of groovy. He had told me that I could scan some pictures of him when he was younger, which I think would be great for the cover, but I don't know if he'll avoid me now, or something. I don't think he will, but one never knows.

Chad just called me. He just got home from Aut Bar, and he wants me to come over, to hang out and talk. I hope that doesn't mean sex, because I'm so not up for it tonight. I actually just got out of the shower before this, after just jacking off, which felt great, but...why am I typing this? Anyways, he wants to hang out. I kind of want to go, because I feel like I've been treating him poorly. And I kind of want to stay home, as I was going to really clean my room. I'd already started, with the sheets, and now my comforter. I also wanted to see if I could get some artwork done for the poetry that's building up in my 2006 section... I'm also kind of tired. But I guess it wouldn't hurt to take a breather and go hang out with Chad for a little while.

But I confess, when the phone rang, that I hoped it was Jeremy.

On a quick side note, the night of July 3 & morning of July 4 marks the 5 year anniversary of the first time I met Travis Kelley in person, and we began dating. It's also been a couple of years since I got a truly amazing blowjob from a George W. Bush lover who (I'm not kidding) wants to get fucked by the president. I never went back for seconds, because even though the pleasure was beyond my expectations, I was afraid of what I might say, if we actually had a conversation.

Alright. I need to get dressed.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:16 AM
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I only stayed at Chad's for about 2hours. We chatted, but not about anything too serious, and he had a headache, and seemed tired. I left soon after hearing the birds chirping, stopping at Meijer for some groceries. My acid isn't horrible, but it's enough that I can't really lay down. I'm afraid I won't be joining my friends at the beach today, as I doubt I'll get much sleep for several more hours, but it was raining quite a lot, so maybe the day is cancelled, and they'll do something a little closer to home, so I won't have to worry about falling asleep while driving. Or...maybe I'll just go. I don't know. I really want to go, because it just seems like I never get to see all my friends at once anymore...

So...I'm watching Smallville, while my comforter dries. And it's fricking warm in my room.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:42 AM
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   Wednesday, July 5, 2006

I watched like 10 episodes of Smallville yesterday. I only have 3 more episodes left in the 3rd Season. Lucky for me we have the 4th Season at work, and the 5th Season comes out in September. I hope it stays as good as it is now.

I didn't make it out to the lake with my friends, but Mollie later called me to talk about it, and I'm kind of glad I wasn't there. Though if I had been, I probably would have left, and brought Mollie home with me. We talked about all sorts of stuff, and it was really great. Before Mollie called me, Jennifer did, and I got to cheer her up, and be there for her. It's fun to be a friend when you can make the crying ones laugh ;-0) We updated each other on the latest boy drama, and Jennifer said she had a dream Saturday night that she met Jeremy. She says she still wants to meet him, which I don't think will be a problem.

I left a voicemail on Jeremy's phone on Monday, and he called me back on Tuesday, but he couldn't talk long, as he & Danny had company. He just didn't want me to read into him not calling me back, and said we'd probably talk today. I have to work today at 1pm; hopefully I won't be late.

I've been working on my webpage for several hours. Most of that has been poetry related; I've been writing a lot lately, which has been nice. I need to get artwork done for 2 of the ones I've written and I'll be all caught up for this year, but I keep writing more.

My throat kind of hurts, and I think it's acid related. I so need to go to bed, but I should put some clothes in the washer so...I can have some to wear to work. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:18 AM
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I woke up on time. My clothes are in the dryer. I'm eating. My throat still hurts, but it's only on the right side; the side I was sleeping on, so it's almost certainly an acid thing. Wish this shit would just stop; really glad I have that appointment. I need to shave (badly) and shower after I finish eating.

My website has been getting a consistant amount of traffic lately. It makes me wonder who these people are... But I don't think there's anyway I can tell. Perhaps I should have opened a guest book back when I started? I guess it doesn't really matter as the really interested parties have e-mailed me their thoughts on the site.

Well, I could write more, but I don't want to be late for work if I can help it.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:57 AM
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   Thursday, July 6, 2006

I was about 5 minutes late to work yesterday, but the store was pretty dead, and DJ and I talked for like 10 minutes before I punched in. Mark dropped me off, as I really didn't want to be late again; I hate falling into a pattern like that, and much prefer to be early. I worked with Bobby, who got promoted after all, which is awesome. DJ was there too, obviously, which was way cool. I later worked with Nate & Joe, and when it came time for my shift to end, I stayed for a bit, as I was going to wait for Mark to pick me, up, but I just felt like walking so I started walking home, and called Mark to let him know he didn't need to pick me up. He called me when he was leaving work, and I was right next to Aut Bar, so I went in to get something to drink, and wait for him to pick me up.

While I had walked I called almost everyone on my phone, but nobody answered! lol I left Jeremy 2 messages. I know I broke up with him... but I miss him. I don't know what that will mean later on. I just... I want my Jeremy Damn It!

That reminds me that I need to call my Grandmother today, to see if she has any news on my Father. I also need to call Solomon & Janella tomorrow to see when we're hanging out. I'll try to remember that.

While in Aut Bar, I ordered a sprite, and chatted with a few people. I like the people I meet there, and I always seem to run into people I've met at other places, and this was no exception. The bartender and I had met before. I spoke with Junlian, the waiter, briefly. And before I knew it, and before my sprite was was gone, Mark had arrived.

When we got home, I accidentally stabbed myself in the eye with my sunglasses! It hurt like a bitch! But I took a long shower and all was right in the world. Bryan had called earlier in the day as it was his son Robert's birthday, and he wanted Mollie, Mark & I to come. Mollie couldn't make it as she was...well...unable to be there; trust me. I got ready to go back to Aut Bar, to see if I could see Jeremy as the not seeing him was making me go all stalker boy, and I remembered Robert's party. I told Mark about it, and he said he'd like to go if we didn't have to go right away, and I said that worked for me as I was going to the bar for awhile, and Bryan said it wasn't that big a deal if we came later.

I saw that Jeremy was in a WRAP meeting outside the bar when I got there, but it felt weird watching him, so I just went off and chatted up some more people. I'm good at that. Plus this time I wasn't sweaty from walking across town in the sun. When I looked back to where Jeremy had been he was gone, so I thought I had missed him and he was probably on his way home. I went out in the parking lot to go home defeated, but then I spyed Kim standing behind what I thought was Common Language, but was really the WRAP building. I shouted her name and we got big hugs! ;-0) That was great! I met her friend Megan/Meagan(?); I never know how to spell names - who was really nice, and we hit it off, and I got even more hugs. I also met Rocky, and Megan's hubby who gives free massages on Wednesdays so he can learn his trade. He had just given Kim a massage. I called Jeremy to say hello, as I figured he wouldn't be that busy while driving home, but he was in fact about to get a massage of his very own, and said he'd call me back when he was finished.

I hung out with Kim and M for awhile longer, then drove Kim back to her car, where we talked so more. I'm very glad that I've met this woman. I wrote a poem for her a few days ago, and I told her it was posted on my webpage. And I also made plans to return her shirt to her tomorrow, as she left it in my bedroom a few weeks ago. She told me she was sorry that things weren't going with between me & Jeremy, and that was good to hear... But it made me want to see him even more.

I called Mark to make sure he was ready to go, then drove home to pick him up, but he needed to walk the dog. erg. We made it to the new apartment, and go to spend some time with Bryan, Chris, Chris's mom, Bryan's mom Diana, and Robert (now 17!) and his very pregnant girlfriend Kayla; it was nice, but I was waiting for the call from Jeremy. Kim said his massage would probably be over around 9pm, and it was after 10, so I figured he wasn't going to call. I left him a final message, feeling...sad, but ready to give up, but he called me back later and made plans with me for 1on1 conversation tomorrow, which cheered me up, because I could hear the smile in his voice.

Bryan & Chris have 3 cats, so my allergies were kicking my ass, but I got some soda and some Benadryl, which helped a bit, though my eyes were still really scratchy. We played several hands of euchre, and then a game of uno. Earlier, I browsed through Bryan's pictures...many of them of me, Mark & Mollie! He's going to burn all those (plus some cute ones of Bryan and family) onto a disc for me! I love getting new pictures, and some of those are so cute! There were pictures from Mark's surprise party last year, and we have so few pictures from that day, so that rocked! We headed home a little after 1am.

I started watching Smallville when I got home and finished one episode, before starting the penultimate 3rd Season episode. Bryan is now watching the show, and he's getting into it as well. Cool. While watching the beginning of this episode, Mollie called me freaking out about something I had posted in my blog, only what I posted wasn't all that terrible as she quickly learned. She called me back, and apologised for freaking out, but apparently some stuff was taken out of context by other people and she got reamed for it! I don't even want to say more about it for fear of pissing off other people who might be reading this. I'm censoring my own fricking blog, just so I won't be misunderstood again. It kind of sucks, and it kind of pisses me off. But I'm just gonna tell those involved that I'm sorry if what I posted hurt you, but it wasn't intended to, and I'm sorry that Mollie got the short end of the stick, when she didn't deserve it.

I got several messages all at once on my phone today. I've had my phone for a long while now, and it's been through a lot, so sometimes it fucks up, but I love my phone. I got messages from Carrie, Mollie, Bryan, Mark, & Janice. Some of these messages were from days ago. Carrie wanted to know if I was going to the lake, and she also said she had a juicy story to tell me, so I'm wanting to know what that's about. Mollie also wanted to know about the lake, and then there was a message from the lake, and then still another one. Bryan was calling about Robert's party. Mark wanted to know about what time he needed to pick me up for work, and Janice's message was kind of vague.

I started up Smallville again, but I started falling asleep so I stopped it and went to bed. I slept until about 5:30am. I'll probably sleep more later, but I need to take my pills. I need to get more of that stuff today. Oh, and I got an e-mail from Kim telling me the poem made her cry! She said that she was amazed how well I understood who she is, and that she's really glad she met me! :-0) yay!

Well, I'm gonna go take my pills and then...not sure what I'm doing.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:23 AM
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I've been doing tons of laundry today. I also managed to return Kim's shirt, and hang out with Jeremy a bit, which was perhaps a mistake, or more accurately a silly stumble on my part, as he obviously needs his time. I got it this time. I won't be bothering him unless Mollie really pushes for Laser Tag, or there's a chance he could meet someone special to me, and even then I'll be gentle. ;-0) Plus I can still write everything I'm feeling out, which is cool, as I was kind of annoyed that I've been writing less in the last few years. lol (That's me, looking at the bright side.) He did get to talk to Mollie on the phone during our visit and he said she sounded cool, so that rocked. Mollie's having another horrible day; when will it end!?!

I guess the pictures I was planning for the cover for Jeremy's cd will have to wait, which is actually ok, because now I don't have to worry about that part. I can do the cover as a seperate gift...or just a bonus later on, or something. Unless he hates the disc, which is always possible when wrangling through emotional turmoil.

I'm thinking of getting a manicure/pedicure combo at Encore, as everyone there seems to think it would be nice for me. I've never done anything like that, so I hope that if I do it, I don't freak anybody out! lol Who knows what's lurking underneath the nails. I'll just make sure I'm extra clean if I do...

Oh, and I might be getting a massage next week, as a friend of Kim & Jeremy's is doing them for free as he learns his craft. I met his wife, and really hit it off with her; her name is Magan, which I'm pretty sure I misspelled when I wrote about her before. She had asked me at the time if I was old school goth, or new... And I told her I'd be 32 next month and that I was old school. lol She liked that. Kim plugged my website and she sent me an e-mail today telling me all the cool things we have in common, which amused me greatly. Oh, and she's a Catherine Wheel fan!!! I knew I couldn't be the only one! ;-0)

Oh My Joss! I used this great Michelle Featherstone song for one of Shawn's cd's years ago (though he's never heard that one), and I never listened to the rest of her stuff, but it's so awesome! I found her on myspace and I've been grooving to her all day. You can hear one of her songs, now playing in my profile, but hurry because I've been changing my songs really often. I'm trying to get it from itunes but I'm having tech problems! Oh, and Mark ordered me a shirt that says something like: "Joss Whedon is my master now.", Love it.

Smallville continues to entertain. I thought the 2nd Season Finale was horrible, but the 3rd was a huge improvment, and season 4 is starting with a bang, just as season 3 did. Cool.

I really want to get those pictures from Bryan ASAP! I probably work with him tomorrow so I'll try to set something up then. I'm really proud of all the work I've been getting done on my webpage; I hardly updated it at all last year, or the year before. The website is this year's project, and it's going pretty well.

I slept for 3 more hours after the Jeremy visit, then wrote some poetry, before going to Meijer for Prilosec, and then picking up Mark. We went to McDonald's again, which I find oddly comforting. While he drove, I talked, and talked, and it's good to have Mark in my life. He's talking about dating people again, which would probably be good for him; hope that pans out...though I'm not sure if that makes any sense at the moment.

When we got home, I finished the art icons for the 2 new poems and posted them, then wrote this so the site would be updated as fully as possible for now. I need to do some more laundry, and get some other stuff done.

Oh, and I cleaned my room & took out the trash today too. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:54 PM
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   Friday, July 7, 2006

I slept after the last entry, until about 1am. I woke up, did some more laundry, watched some Smallville, and then did some truly inspired work on Jeremy's cd. Things that I thought would be really hard, actually aren't, so that's cool, but I really don't know if he'll actually like the results. Of course I didn't think Shawn would like his, but he's really embraced the tracks that he's heard, and even Travis loved his, which I had thought was intentionally harsh with him. Maybe people just appreciate honesty, but this one's got some pretty personal Jeremy info on it, or at least my interpretation of it, and that's where I could be wrong about something, and that will be recorded. So I'm nervous, but I'm trying to frame it in such a way, that it will be fine even if I'm wrong. Some of it is based on dreams, which takes away some of that stress. ;-0)

Mark tried to fix itunes for me, but there's a new firewall on itunes or comcast which is preventing me from getting my music, which I'm way pissed about. Mark doesn't know what to do, which seldom happens, but maybe he'll get it later.

I went back to bed around 6am, but didn't really fall asleep til about 7:30am as the neighbors were fucking - quiet for them actually, but still...and then I just couldn't stop moving. Does that ever happen to other people? Where you're tired, and comfy, but before you can drift off to sleep, you just have to move? It's really annoying.

Mark woke me up from a dream about taking him to a piercing parlor, for moral support. I was to hold his hand while he was pierced, but he passed out when he saw the artist, and I told them what he wanted done, but woke up before I got to see what was pierced. I tried to say as little as possible and kept my eyes closed, in hopes of getting back into the dream and finding out what Mark got pierced, but while I got back to sleep quickly, I don't remember what I dreamt.

I answered the phone at 9:53, and it was Jeremy, which I really didn't expect. He was surprised that I answered the phone, but when I saw the time, I knew I'd be staying up now, so I could finish the laundry that I needed for today, and get ready so I could be on time for work. He was just calling to thank me for my patience, and my poetry, which he said he really appreciated. Aaaahhhh. And he sounded like he was smiling, and like he was less troubled, which was a nice sound to wake up to. He wants to get together and talk again soon. Hopefully I can keep my hormones in check this time. I'm sure I can; it will just take some practice, and possibly a lot of masturbation before hand. lol We'll see how that goes, but the phone call was nice.

I called Mark to tell him about my dream, and the call from Jeremy. We talked for awhile, and set up a time for him to pick me up for work. I told him I was grateful for him, and glad that he was in my life, and he said the same to me, and that he especially liked that I called, and that he enjoyed the talking. ;-0) We don't always trade insults. lol

So I got some clothes out of the dryer, put some more in the dryer, put still more in the washer, and hung up the clothes I got out of the dryer. Then I wrote this. I need to take some prilosec, as my stomach is unhappy; I hate that part of my life. I really do. I sometimes feel like just ripping out my stomach...or I have minor fantasies about dying. They are minor in that I quickly think about my friends and loved ones, and realize there's just no way that I can do that; at least not now. I'm not opposed to suicide; I'd just like it to be on my terms, and a good time, where I don't fuck up a ton of other people, you know? I'm sure several people reading that will be disturbed, but I'm just being honest, and if your stomach was upset all the time, for 5 years, you'd probably feel the same way.

So, yeah, I'm gonna take the prilosec, shave and shower, and later...eat something, and try to get myself prepped for Hollywood. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:42 AM
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I was ontime for work. Matt, Bobby & Bryan were there. The store was mostly dead, but we were having fun. There's this woman that comes in fairly often, and loves our Foreign, Classic, & Criterion sections. She's an older woman who's very opinionated...but horribly condescending about it. She rips into people without even trying. Well, I don't usually have a problem with her...but she was trying to tell us that a movie didn't belong in the Classics section, when it obviously did. And then when she learned that I don't love comedies, said that all young people like tragic films, but that when they get as old as her, they will grow to love the comic. I told her that I may very well learn to love comedy with age, but that I hoped I wouldn't learn to make grand generalizations about people based on their age. And then I had to walk away. The thing is, she does know a lot about film, but it's the way she chooses to express it that ruins it all.

They were going to send someone home early, and I was next in line, so off I went. I called Jeremy to let him know, as he mentioned he might have time to stop by, and I didn't want him to make the trip and then find that I wasn't there; I left him a voicemail. I went home, and started watching Basic Instinct 2, which will be released Tuesday. I stopped the movie about an hour in and took a nap. I can't sleep more than 3 or 4 hours at a time lately because of my acid reflux, so I catch sleep whenever I can.

I got up around 5:30 to go pick up Mark. I went to Meijer first to get some cranberry juice and some earplugs. I went to Mark's work, where we stayed for 40 minutes or so, because Mark was on the phone with an important client. I called Janice to find out if she had heard anything from dad. I had called our grandmother earlier in the week, and she told me dad got an apartment in Ypsi aobut a month ago, and he said he'd get in touch with her once he was settled, but he never did. I might try to tack him down tomorrow, and Mark wants to take me to Best Buy to look at my new monitor. I'm getting a new computer for my birthday, and it's got all kinds of things that I've really needed for YEARS. Mark drove us home, and I took another nap, before finished BI2, which wasn't horrible; it had some great moments, but most of it was sub par.

I ate. I set some more stuff up for Jeremy's cd. I talked to my friend Paul on the phone about recent events. He's got a lot of experience with mpd through our mutual friend Michelle, and says he has a great book for me, and will get info for me that could shed some light for me, or maybe a friend of mine, though it's too early to tell. That was really great to hear though; I knew he'd be able to hook me up.

I thought I might go out tonight, but I'm not sure now. I'll see if I can sleep first.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:40 PM
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   Saturday, July 8, 2006

I slept until about 5:15am, which was really great! ;-0) Then I found an e-mail from my friend Paul, which will hopefully help out a friend of mine; awesome. I replied to a bunch of e-mail, took my prilosec, scanned some pictures (not a lot, though), and I might watch some Lord Of The Rings later, or not. I'm not certain.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:01 AM
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   Sunday, July 9, 2006

I watched the first disc of the extended Two Towers Saturday morning. I slept some more, which was great. I really cherish my sleep these days. We went to Best Buy and Comp USA to check out monitors, but it mostly sucked, though I got a great cd binder for my photo cds. We went to Hollywood to return BI2, and mark rented a movie. I saw Andrea, Joe, Kyle, Nate & Pat(!) there. Andrea said she had read the poem I wrote for Heidi on my webpage and she seemed to really like it. My stomach was a bit cranky so Mark dropped me off at home before he went to get icecream.

I watched some Smallville. Parts of it are amazing this season, but other parts are really stupid. The stupid parts could have been great if they produced them better, but they make them really hokey, which is a shame. Still, the episodes have been mostly good.

I couldn't get in touch with my Grandma so I didn't try to track down my dad. I'm still geeked about a new computer for my b-day, as I'll be able to do recordings in my room, and I'll finally have some hard drive space! ;-0)

I went to Aut Bar for a few hours. I watched people play pool, which always relaxes me. Sam White was there, and I think he was trying to hit on me, but I wasn't having any of it. This guy Tony was there; I wrote about him years ago, when I first met him. He was so closeted back then that it really hurt me; it was just so beyond sad, the lengths he went to, just to be himself at the Aut Bar. He came up to me and said that he has since come out to everyone, and that it went very well with everyone, and I congratulated him. I also told him I'd write a sequel. lol

Chad & Rodger were there, and I hung out with them for a while. I wanted to bring Chad over to hang out in my room, like we meant to do last week, but I didn't want to drag him away from Rodger. As it stands now, I only intend to be friends with Chad. I don't even really want to think about dating anyone right now, which is fine with me. I left after saying goodbye to everybody.

I called Steven Ball in the car, while I sat in the parking lot. He is back in Ann Arbor, just as he said he would be. We're going to try to get together sometime after Thursday, as he's uber-busy. That would rock. He said my calls were always welcomed. ;-0)

My cousin Joy, posted a comment on my myspace profile. She said I was amazing, and she wants to catch up with me in person, sometime soon. I'll see if I can swing that sometime this week. We'll see. I have a lot of stuff to do, actually.

I've been scanning old photos; they're really cool to see. I just scanned some really old Mark/Jason photos; we were so cute back then. lol I was 21 in those pictures; Mark was 24. ;-0) I also scanned some pix of me when I was very young, and others of my relatives. It's really tedious work, but it's fun to see all the faces.

Kim sent me an e-mail asking if I could make a wallpaper for her computer, using some artwork I'd done, and her poetry. I'll be working on that this week. Hope she likes the end results. She's so adorable!

I'm aching for that Michelle Featherstone cd. Maybe I could get that from Bryan tomorrow before work. I'd like to listen to it there, it's very calming. I close the store tomorrow night. I have Monday, Tuesday, Thursday & Saturday off. The store has been mostly dead lately, or extremely busy - with no middle ground. I'm being sent home early fairly often, just because business has been so slow, which is common in the summer.

I need to sleep.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:03 AM
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I couldn't sleep. I watched Smallville. I only have 10 more episodes left in the 4th season - but those episodes are on discs I don't currently have. Hopefully Mark will watch the movie he rented, before I go to work, so I can rent the final 3 discs. I love tv shows on dvd. ;-0) I'm going to bed soon though.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:50 AM
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   Monday, July 10, 2006

I slept well Sunday. I was on time for work. Work was mostly good, with a side of great. Solomon & Janella stopped in; they are both looking so fit! ;-0) I got to see Heidi when I first got there, which was fantastic! Andrea and Joe were also there, and tons of fun. We were mostly dead, yet again, but I got several bundles, which was nice. I was really tired when I left work.

When I got home, Mark was upset that I lost my borders reward zone card. Only I didn't. I gave it to him ages ago, with the gift card they sent us, with the completely wrong dollar amount on it. I've been after him for months and months to have it fixed, but he didn't get around to it until today. Hopefully it can be rectified, but if not, it's not my fault, and I'm not going to worry about it.

I got a myspace message from my old friend Jason Brooks, saying that he missed me like crazy and that he was really fucked up. I wrote him back right away and then he sent me 3 messages all in a row. I called him and he was drunk. We talked for a few hours, about the past and the present, and renewed our friendship and love. It was all very cool. We're going to attempt to hang out soon. This guy, knew me when I had hair! We met in church, when we were kids, and he was my best friend for years and years! We just drifted apart around 1996, and we've never been very close since then, though there were a few visits in there. Our mom's didn't get along, but our families were both really fucked up; though people wouldn't know it to look at us, exactly. It's neat that we became friends, and it was a lot of fun talking to him. He told me he loved me, and it was all good. He also said that if I ever offed myself he'd haunt me in my afterlife and I'd be sorry! lol ;-0)

I talked to Mark about Jason for a bit, and then let him get to sleep, while I ate and finished an episode of Smallville I started watching at work. Now I'm going to work on Jeremy's cd. I haven't heard from him since Friday morning; that's only a couple days; I'm sure he's fine. He works at the club Sunday nights, so he's probably in bed now, or not. He has Mondays off. He said that we needed to talk again when we talked on Friday, and I have Monday off too so maybe he'll call me later today?

I want to go to Nate's birthday party tonight at Goodtime Charly's! I want to go to Necto too. I want to get Mark and take a trip to my grandmother's house and get a bunch of pictures of her! I want to hang out with Jason Brooks, and my cousin Joy, and my ex Catherine, and Elvis, and Jeremy, & Steven. I want a lot - but none if it can be bought in a store. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:09 AM
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They've been working on the vacant condo next door most of the day, so I couldn't get any recording done, which pissed me off. I need to record a bunch of stuff, and then I have to edit that, before mixing it with music, which is a long process that I don't really love. But the end result is almost always worth it. I would like to get that done, but everytime I have the time set aside, something fucks it up. I got some sleep today; go me; I'm on a roll.

I haven't heard from Jeremy. Friday morning, he seemed to want to get together soon to talk, but maybe something's changed, or he's just exhausted, or something. I'm trying not to call him though. erg. This sucks. lol

"Gay Sex In The 70s" arrived today. lol Paul told me it was great, so I ordered it weeks ago. I haven't been buying a lot of movies lately. This one looks like it BELONGS on my shelf though. Maybe I'll watch it this week. I watched another episode of Smallville while I ate, at around 6pm; that leave 5 more before I've seen all the episodes that are currently available on dvd.

Nate's 22nd Birthday Party is tonight, at around 9pm. A couple of weeks ago I'd have invited Jeremy so he could meet everybody. I guess I still could; he does still want to meet my people. But it's kind of short notice, and with all the recent stuff...maybe I shouldn't. I sense my resolve is weakening. lol It's just that I've been working on editing this track for several days now, and if it works, it's going to kick all kinds of ass, and so I'm mixing all this stuff, and it's all about him... It's probably good therapy, but it means I have to think about him. BLAH!

I should maybe shave. I've been really lax about shaving lately. It's been getting a great response from people. I usually grow it out every 3 months for about about a week, and then shave it, but lately, I shave it and then go right back to letting it grow out again. Part of that was because Jeremy really dug it, but I'm starting to like it a lot too.

It was really great talking with Jason Brooks last night. It's been fun meeting a lot of people lately. I really do enjoy getting to know people, and becoming friends with them, and getting to catch up with them. That probably sounds stupid, because I bet most people are like that, but I just wanted that out there, for the record. New friends Kim, Magan, & Chad have been such a nice change. I'm grateful.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:36 PM
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So, I just tried to call Mollie. Only I didn't call her. I called Jeremy. I just hit talk on my phone because she's always the last person I've called. Only she wasn't. And I'm officially stupid. I left a lame message, rather than hangup; I try to always leave a message, because people who don't are often annoying. lol

And on the random, annoying trouble side of things:

Our bathroom sink doesn't work. It's clogged. It's been shut off for over a week because we don't have cash for a plumber. I forget that it's off and I when I use my listerine I spit down the drain and then try to turn the water on, only there isn't any. I don't do this every day, but fairly often. I noticed there was something weird in the sink today, and Mark all but accused me of creating a problem, on purpose, and that the fumes from this, whatever it is in the sink, is going to kill him. It doesn't look like anything that came out of my mouth. He even stated that it looks like the remnants from my razor, which I used to empty in the sink, but I haven't done that since the water was shut off, as I usually rinse it out before I use it - so I know there's not water blah blah blah. He just keeps glaring at me, and when I ask him to stop...he doesn't. I had to ask him to leave my room, and then said that I wanted him to die alone. People don't see this side of Mark, but I'm not the only drama queen living in this house.

He was talking to me earlier about what he wants to do to get even with a company that's screwing us over. When he talks like this it makes me worry about him. When I worry, my stomach gets upset, and I get sick. I try not to worry about stuff. I try not to get angry or depressed because I don't like to feel sick. I told him that I was on his side, but that I just don't agree with his ideas of solving the problems - because they're more trouble than they are worth; they could potentially be quite a hassle for us, and most likely wouldn't be much of anything to those he's intending to annoy. He said that I wasn't on his side then. I told him that if he does anything like what he was planning that I didn't want to know about it because it would only stress me out and I don't want that in my life. We have arguments like this fairly often. It's one of the negatives of our relationship.

But there are a lot of positives also. We're not always like that. Mark forgets stuff all the time, and I get left with the blame for all sorts of things that no person with a memory would be blaming me for...but as annoying as that is, it's not the majority of our very close friendship. We have our jokes, and our cuddles, and our support and kindness...and our problems. It's almost always worth it. And I'm pretty sure anyone who sees us understands that. I just wish...

I don't know.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:16 PM
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Ooh. Something else. I just remembered, that Sunday night I was in a fantastic mood, and I was talking to Heidi, and she said that I looked younger... Usually my facial hair makes me look older, I think, but Heidi said she thought I looked younger. Maybe it was just because I was smiling so much.

I just wanted to add that. I'm not always ill. And I'm not always whining. And I'm not always sad. Sometimes I'm very happy. And as long as that's true, then no one need worry. ;-0)

I need to shave and shower and stuff, and arrive late to the party, as is my nature.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:42 PM
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   Tuesday, July 11, 2006

I had a great night! Jeremy called me back, and he agreed to record something for his cd, which rocks, as I was wondering how I was going to do that. I'll see him sometime this week, before he goes off for a week with Danny to Danny's parents up North; they're also going to Mackinack, where Jeremy has never been! That's so funny! I told Mark that and he lauged too. We had been planning to go this summer with our friends, but the trip still hasn't happened. It would have been freaky if we'd all gone with out telling each other and then ran into each other there. Mark says he wishes we'd gone before now, so they wouldn't think we were copying them!?! lol That just makes me laugh harder. I also want to go to Greenfield Village; I haven't been there since I was a kid, and I think it would be fun.

So I shaved (all the fur is gone for now, but don't worry it will be back very soon) and showered and then Jeremy called, and I called him back, and we talked - then I got dressed and went to Nate's party. Nate, Bobby, Bryan, Sarah, & Lindsy were all there. Heidi and her roomie showed up later, and I finally got to meet her, which was fabulous. Nate's friends Erich and Andy showed up later. I stayed until a little after midnight, then went to Necto, where I also had a blast. I danced a lot, and got some good pictures (I hope). I saw a lot of people I knew, and I met this really cool girl named Freedom, who danced with me all night long. It was like dancing with my ex-gf Jennifer; people who didn't know me, thought I was straight!?! lol That's so funny! Matt Renck, and other Aut people (Michael, and Michael) were there. Angela, online gothgirl was there. Vince, Brian Cagle, Becky, Scott, Dan/Jinx, and other were there. It was really packed because one of the guys from VNV NATION was DJing, but I had no clue; I just wanted to dance, and I fricking danced a lot.

Now I'm home, and I've showered, and I ate (while watching Smallville - 4 more to go), and brushed my teeth, and I wrote this... I want to work on the JCD, but I also want to go to Meijer. I want to see if Frank is working because I haven't seen him in weeks, but I also need body wash, boost, and a containing for all the photos I've scanned; I need more film too. ;-0) I have no clue what I'll end up doing.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:17 AM
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So I worked on the cd some more. I didn't go to Meijer. I tried to get some recording done today, because I now have the first chronolgical track (though I may + an intro of sorts later) all planned out, but I had problems with the recording, which Mark has since fixed, but I can't record while he & the dog watch tv. Ugh!

I did sleep today, which was nice. I've been chatting on gay.com for awhile. I met a boy named Matthew, who used to date Steve Ball. I swear, everyone I know has dated him or wanted to date him, which I didn't know about until after I got in touch with him again. CRAZY! It looks like I'll be going out with Matthew on Thursday.

I've also been chatting with this guy Jim, who met me once a long time ago, and is friends with Polly; Kelli's ex-gf. He is still close with Kelli, while I am not. He's cute, and he's funny. Perhaps we'll hang out sometime. I don't know. It could be fun. He works right next door to where Mollie works.

The thing is, I'm trying to date. I really am. I'm trying to make this summer fun. I'm trying to take LOTS of pictures, and have good times with my friends - and I'm not taking anything too seriously. And even with some physical problems, and some bumps along the road, I'm mostly getting the job done, which is great! I feel really good about that. I took Jeremy seriously, but it was getting pretty serious. And it still is, on many levels, but what would have sent me packing a few years ago... I've just decided to not let the bad stuff get to me as much. And I think that's healthy.

Go me! ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:10 PM
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   Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Last night, around 8:30pm, I remembered that Bryan had said Tuesday night would be a good time to stop by and get my Michelle Featherstone CD, along with loads of pictures that Bryan had on his computer. I showered and dressed, and was aboutt o call him as I walked out the door, when the phone rang. It was Carrie. She asked if Adam or Mollie had called me, and when I told her they hadn't she let me know that my best friend Mollie is in the ER. They thought it was kidney stone related as Mollie was supposed to have surgery for one of those in a few weeks anyways - but it wasn't. I went directly to the ER, and got there shortly before Carrie. Mollie looked horrible, but at least she was on some nice meds, and she was kind of in & out. They were preping her for a pelvic. I didn't think that I could do anything for her, and I didn't want to get in the way (plus I still had errands to run before I could get home & work), so I told her I loved her, and I went to Bryan's.

I thought getting the pix from Bryan's computer would be simple as pie. Well, apparently, I don't know how to make pie. Or maybe I was aiming for pie, and it was really cake or something. Point is, it sucked, and took forever. And Bryan's apartment was HOT, but then so was Bryan in his shorts, flaunting his hot bod. ;-0) I got the pix & the cd around 11:30, then headed to Hollywood to drop off some DVDs. Carrie called me when I got there, and told me a horror story about Mollie's pelvic exam, which apparently involved scissors, and then sending Mollie to stumble back to her room, crying, alone!?! Then I wished I had stayed so I could have yelled and people! Mollie was hyperventilating and a nurse came in and told her to calm down or it would get worse. After Mollie had calmed down from her trauma in the ER, they said they were going to hook her up to a catheter, and gave her more meds. That's the last that I heard. Carrie picked up Mollie's brother Kenny, and dropped him back off at the ER, and then called me on her way home. Adam and Kenny are supposed to get the word out if something changes...and I'm super worried about her now. erg.

I went to the Saline Ann Arbor Road Meijer to get a storage container for pix I've scanned, and for boost and stuff, but they didn't have some of the stuff I needed, so I just flirted with Frank (who has dyed his hair, and has a crush on some guy named Brad I think), and then went to the Zeeb Rd. Meijer & got everything I needed, except water, which I got from Kroger on the way home. I was beat.

Mark was asleep on the couch when I got home, around 1:10am. I got undressed, ate, and got the Michelle Featherstone tunes on my computer, along with the Bryan Pix - only they were filed in such a way that it has taken me over 3 hours!?! I finished that, and went to gay.com. Karen was chatting and I wished her a happy birthday (she's 33 today), and then told her about Mollie.

I didn't stay long on gay.com because I'm so exhausted, but I want to get some recording done. I think I'm gonna take a shower, and see if that wakes me up any. I need to get this recording done, but maybe I should just do it tomorrow night? I have to work tonight, and if I don't sleep, I won't be happy - but what I really need is to get away from the fricking computer.

I checked my e-mail before writing this, and the Matt boy I met had e-mailed me saying he checked out my webpage and enjoyed chatting with me, and looks forward to meeting me on Thursday. That's cool. I just wish I had a billion hours of studio time to get this damned cd in bed. roar.

I'm out of here.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:19 AM
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I did the shower thing, got some recording and mixing done, and I now have a nearly finished, first draft of track 02. It was meant to be track zero one, but I realize now that I want there to be some kind of pre-prologue introduction. This project is shaping up in my mind. I wish Laurie was still in touch, because I think she'd love this one! ;-0) Hopefully Jeremy will enjoy it, or at least understand the artistic scope that was intended, if I fail. lol ;-0)

Ok. I should get some sleep. But now I'm tempted to work on some more. I don't know which will win out.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:16 AM
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   Thursday, July 13, 2006

I got very little sleep Wednesday morning. I later found out that Mollie may have cancer, which she's not worried about, but I am. She'll know for certain in 2 weeks. She has a growth on one of her fallopian tubes. But she has drugs and chocolate, so she says she's ok for now. I hope that's true, in a deeper sense as well.

erg.

I worked with DJ, Bobby, Andrea & Joe. That was mostly good. I started rewatching "Love! Valour! Compassion!", on my break, which I've meant to do for some time now, but never found the time. Bryan & Jeremy both told me that Jeremy had opened an account at the store, so I put a note on there letting everyone know that he prefers to be called Jeremy, and that they should be extra nice to him. lol And I noticed he had "10 Attitudes" checked out. Sadly, I own that movie; it sucks. If I'm ever working when he stops in, I'll give him some good ones, or point him to my top movie shelf.

I left work on time, got some food, and ate in the car, while I waited for Mark. I was told to get him out on time because he had a condo association meeting to go to, but he screwed up, as the meeting is actually tonight. I'm supposed to have a date tonight, but I'll be without the car now, which annoys me. I went to bed when we got home, and I slept until around 12:30am. I did the e-mail/chat thing for a while. I read. I spent some time just thinking. And then I finished of season 4 of Smallville.

Mark's getting ready to leave for work. I'm going to take a nap, and then get some more cd stuff done (I hope). That book I ordered for Jeremy arrived, but I'm not sure when I'll see him next. He said he'd visit me sometime before he & Danny go on their trip, and I believe they leave on Sunday. I haven't heard from Kim lately; I should call her or something.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:03 AM
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I was going to do some recording today, but I somehow deleted a bunch of stuff I needed, and now I have to start from scratch. It's pretty frustrating. I was hoping to talk to Jeremy about it; that and a lot of things, but he's probably in a meeting or at work or something. I miss him. For some reason, I thought that even though he's going through something huge, and even though we're no longer a couple, that I'd still see him all the time. I'm often stupid in that way. I've finished some tracks for his cd, but they're all kind of abstract; they aren't about us per say, and maybe aren't about him, but an idea or dream of him. The stuff I have to record now, is about us, and I don't even know what we are now. I mean...I know we're friends. I just don't know what's going on in his head, and I want to know. And there are things going on in my head, that I wish I could share with him, but he hasn't even returned any of my e-mails in over 2 weeks. He told me not to read into anything, but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. I mean...if I'm not suppsoed to interpret what's NOT being said, what else do I have? I have him saying that I shouldn't. But I wish I had him telling me what was happening...in detail. I've never been good at the vague or the subtle. I need blatant, direct, honesty.

I think I'm crying. lol All of these things that have been happening (or not happening) lately are just catching up to me and I just need to get this out. But I'm not depressed, or unhappy per say. I just; there's been so much STUFF in the last few weeks, and so much pressure and doubt and disappointment, and worry, and there are so many things that I want to say to so many people, but I can't because of circumstances that are bigger than my need to talk it out. And I can't write about that stuff here, because they read this blog.

A Jeremy cuddle would kick ass about now.

I'm supposed to go out tonight. I'm looking forward to it, and here I am, crying. This is so my life lately. I need to take a shower anyways. Mark will be off work soon, and he has to come home to drop off the dog, and then I'm driving him to his condo meeting.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:44 PM
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   Friday, July 14, 2006

So I got stood up last night, but I don't really care. Seriously. I finally got that long talk with Jeremy that has been denied me since July 2. I felt so much better after that, and nothing could phase me. Things are back on track. We're not a couple anymore, but we're friends with benefits. That's not my usual ideal, but it seems like the right choice for now. As long as we're both honest about what we're feeling, and what we're doing it should be fine. Or at least that's the current theory. lol He going to come see me at work today, for which I'm super excited. He's also going to stop by tomorrow to record a tiny bit for his cd, which I discussed with him and he totally gets it!!! ;-0) Very cool. So, tonight I've got to get cracking on that one track, so it's ready for him, which should be a lot more fun now, than it was earlier.

I went to bed around 4am, and woke up around 7:20am. What's up with that? I don't know, but I'm super wide awake. I checked my e-mail, and there was a new myspace message from Mollie, whom I also talked to last night (which was also super cool). I went to check the message though, and the myspace mail is down!?! Fuck. I went to her myspace blog, and she had an entry about waking up around 1:15am, and having a panic attack, and crying! So now I'm super worried, and wondering what the message said. But on a side note, her blog entry for this entry was called "Why does everything have to have a name?" - which is something of a joke, based on a bad acid trip some friends of mine had. lol They got caught in this kind of conversational loop, and it always came back to that question! It was so insane, yet funny. And I'm pretty sure Mollie is referencing that on purpose, because she's just that cool.

I love my Mollie.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:46 AM
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Oh, and I don't think I mentioned that the 2nd Season of Batman Beyond (that's 26 episodes) and the 1st & 2nd seasons of Justice League Unlimited (that's also 26 episodes - and includes the massive Cadmus Arc) will be released on DVD October 24! I'm hyped about those releases. That means that each of those shows can finish their releases with a final 13 episode set (26 episodes combined). Hopefully Static Shock and The Zeta Project won't be far behind! ;-0) Batman Beyond appears in 1 episode of Static Shock, and 1 episode of The Zeta Project, so Batman Beyond won't be complete without them. Batman, Robin, Joker, Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, Sinestro, Green Lantern, Flash, Brainiac, Hawkgirl, Martian Manhunter, Superman, Toyman, & Darcy all made appearances on Static Shock. While Zeta appeared in 2 Batman Beyond episodes - and the Zeta type androids, or related type droids were seen throughout the run of Justice League. I love continuity.

I'm also psyched by upcoming Trek fiction reports, but I don't feel like going into those just yet. Besides, I need to put my work clothes in the dryer, and at least attempt to get a little more sleep.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:55 AM
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No more sleep for me. I have to drive Mark to work. He didn't get up for work either. I had to drag him out of bed, twice, and he's supposed to be there in 10 minutes. He's in the shower now. The dog is watching me type this. Mark's parents will be back on Sunday, so the dog will be leaving us soon. I don't hate the dog, but it will be nice not worrying about it, or having to deal with it barking any time that Mark's not around. I think Mark will miss her a lot, which makes me sad for him.

So, I'll probably get home from driving Mark to work (and putting gas in the car) and take a nap. Everything is set for me to get to work on time. My bag is ready, my clothes are clean; I shaved my head last night, and showered this morning. ;-0) I'm good - in a very good mood. I'm going to check to see if I can read that myspace message from Mollie yet.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:58 AM
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   Saturday, July 15, 2006

I was early to work yesterday. Business was slow. I got to work with Heidi, for the first time in months, which was great. Lindsy, Matt's former roomie, stopped in; always nice to see her. Gloria, the DM stopped in, and gave me & Bryan Exceptional Guest Service pins. ;-0) She was only going to give me one, but I revealed that Bryan had helped me out. Go me! Jeremy stopped by to return his crappy gay movie. We walked over to the gas station where Mollie used to work to get gum or something; I wasn't really paying attention to that part. He'd changed his hair, and it was nice to see him, but it was odd too. I don't know what that was exactly. I guess that will take time. We hugged a couple of times, and he gave me a quick kiss. He said he'd call me that night to let me know if he'd be coming over that night or tonight. He never called; I hope he's ok.

Art Fair is coming fast. Yuck. I hate Art Fair. But maybe I'll wander the streets regardless. I don't know. Usually I hibernate that week. I work a lot more this week than usual though, and one of my dr. appointments is this week. We'll see that all plays out.

I worked on Jeremy's cd last night. I'm happy with what I've finished, and what I've started working on, but this one track is kicking my ass. I like everything I've done, but it's going to be pretty long, so I want to find some way to jazz it up a bit, and I'm not sure how I'm going to do that. I'll most likely have to remix it again. Blah.

I watched Return of the King last night. I've got the 5th Season of Smallville now to watch. Soon I'll be completely caught up and ready for the upcoming Season 6.

Mark, Mollie & I were all supposed to attend the Baby Shower for Robert & Kayla, but we all missed it. We're hopeing to go later tonight. Mollie had long standing plans with Carrie and didn't want to cancel them, as she and Carrie had been looking forward to them for some time, and they both really NEEDED that time. I didn't know what time Jeremy was coming over, so that was one thing. Then, after working on the cd for most of the night, I was exhausted, and wanted to sleep. Then Mark's dad came over to get his dog (yay!), and stayed for HOURS helping Mark fix the bathroom sink - and taking Mark to the ER when Mark sprained his ankle!?! I've been cleaning my room; doing laundry, and reoganizing my room since I woke up around 4:30pm. I hope the turn out for the Baby Shower was good, excluding us - and that they know that we'll still be supporting them, and that we were thinking of them.

Jeremy said if he came over tonight it would be after he got off work. I'm assuming that meant the salon and WRAP, and I have no clue what time that would be. I don't even know if he's still planning on coming over, as he didn't call last night. I'm going to respond to some e-mail and then get back to work.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:53 PM
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   Sunday, July 16, 2006

Jeremy called me around a quarter after 7pm (Saturday night) to let me know he was still working at the salon, dying his friend's hair black & pink! He said that after they were done, she was taking him to the Aut Bar for a drink, but that he'd come over after that. Well, I was still cleaning my room and going through old photos and stuff, so I figured I could wait that long with no problem. My stomach was really upset, and I thought it might have something to do with being nervous about seeing him again. His visit to Hollywood the day before had been oddly tense, and I was worried that things would be different between us to the point of not being worth it anymore.

Nearly 3 hours later, Jeremy hadn't arrived and I decided I would go up to the bar and get him myself. I got dressed, went to the door and opened it to find Jeremy standing there - and all the tension was gone. All of it. We talked, and talked, and talked some more, and cuddled, and talked. It was fantastic. It was just like it had been before. We talked about all the things that we couldn't talk about in the 2 weeks since we broke up.

He told me he had been crushed. That he almost cried at work a couple of times, and he NEVER does that. That made me feel good. lol I showed him some of the stuff I'm working on for his cd, and he really liked it, which also made me feel great. He told me again that he doesn't use the word love, and that he doesn't believe it, and I told him I'd convince him, but he said that Danny has been trying for years. He later told me he had seen that I was falling for him (everyone could) - but I pointed out that if he could see that I was falling in love with him, then why couldn't he believe that I loved him. ;-0) And I pointed out that Seth had told me that he loved me. When I asked him about the other boys he has sex with, he told me that it wasn't like this, and that there was 1 guy that might be different from the others too (someone he's been flirting with lately, who's younger than him), but that it still wouldn't be what we had, and when I asked him why it wouldn't be the same, he almost seemed to want to use the L word, but of course he changed the subject. lol

After lots of serious talk, we were going to do the actual recording, but while he was trying to distract me from certain conversations, we ended up fucking. It was really hot! Really safe, and really great. And I loved every second of it. Afterwards, we took a shower, and got the recording done, and he said goodbye at nearly 2am. I came upstairs and started writing this, and he called me around 2:18am, to tell me that he'd heard a song on the radio that really struck a chord with him; something that could be used on his cd. I've never really collaborated with someone on a cd for them in this fashion, and it's actually a great way to work. The tension of wondering what they will think of the cd is lessened, and I get all this positive feedback, and thanks throughout the process instead of just one big burst at the end.

I should get dressed and go get some groceries. Maybe relax and watch Smallville, or maybe work on the cd some more. I won't be seeing Jeremy for at least a week; he's leaving for up North today, and won't be back until Sunday the 23rd. Erg. I want this friendship to last.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:31 AM
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I went to Kroger after the last entry. I felt like eating things that I don't eat that often, and shopped accordingly. I had some strawberries when I got home. Then I had bread and soup. I slept fairly well. I woke up around 2pm, when the voicemail went off on my phone. Jennifer is driving home from Washington; she's in Montana, but seldom has a signal. I got up, and ate an apple while I talked to Mark about stuff, and then got some cranberry juice, before leaving Jennifer a message.

I feel good today, so far.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:54 PM
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   Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Work was really busy Sunday night, and I was exhausted afterwards. Monday, I mostly just relaxed and slept, which was great. I also rewatched the Underworld movies, so I could get some of the backstory down for Bryan. I talked to my cousin Joy, and both of my sisters on the phone. I ate some more random things that I don't eat that often (this is fun) - bacon. I also snacked on some Mini Rainbow Marshmallows; I used to like those when I was a kid, and they really haven't changed. lol

Our power flickered out as I was getting ready for Necto & I lost some of the Underworld info, which sucks. But at least the power came back on. I shaved my head, but not my face. I think the facial hair looks really cool, but it makes me look more butch, which I don't FEEL at all. lol The parking lot lights were out, as were all the lights on Pontiac Trail. Some of the traffic lights were out downtown. Everything downtown is geared towards Art Fair; blah. It can't end fast enough.

I had a blast at Necto. I mostly danced with this girl Rachel, who met me once before. She & DJ Jinx (Dan) used to be an item, and might be in the future; she's really cool. After the bar (at which I got zero pictures), it was raining and Sam White is just standing outside the bar, which was kind of creepy. Rachel's car was parked right across the street from mine, and I climbed into her car and we talked about all kinds of stuff. I had to cut it short around 3am, as that's when our cars were parked where they shouldn't be - plus I was super hungry.

When I got home, I ate a hotdog, on a bun. That probably doesn't sound all that exciting, but I've never had a hotdog on a bun before! It was good. I also had some baked Doritos, which don't really taste anything like regular Doritos. I want to eat some more stuff, but I'm afraid to push it. I should take a shower. I think I might get some reading done.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:22 AM
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   Wednesday, July 19, 2006

I watched Ultraviolet last night before going to bed around 7am. Mark asked if I could drive him to work around 9am, but I begged off that, and I drove him to work on my way to Hollywood, around 12:30pm. Work was slow. I worked with Bryan, Bobby, Bill, & Jeff. Matt & Nate stopped by briefly; they were going to a baseball game. I was going to request some days off of work next week, which is common, as DJ seldom has the schedule done until Friday, but DJ's on vacation, and the schedule was already finished. Tuesday I have a doctor's appointment, so I need that off. Wednesday I may be going to Cedar Point. Thursday is Jeremy's birthday (though I have no clue if I'd actually get to see him that day). Well, I was scheduled off for Thursday, and I got Jeff to cover Wednesday, but I still need to see if I can get someone to cover me on Tuesday; I'm hoping I can switch with someone on Monday. I'm not really that worried about it though.

Jennifer called me on my break. She was driving through North Dakota. Her phone is about to be shut off. The job she had set up here fell through. She's broke; in some serious debt, and the ride she's driving doesn't have any insurance. She doesn't have any more gas money than what she has on her either, so she might not even make it to Michigan, though she has a house all her own in Dearborn. I love her, and I'm worried about her, but soon I won't be able to get in touch with her. :-0(

I was on time for work, but I forgot to punch in. Bryan mostly fixed that, and I left on time. Before Bryan left, I went out and chatted with Di, who was his ride. After work, I went to Meijer to pick up some stuff I needed and I called Mark to see if he needed anything, and he wanted some insect killer. I couldn't find what he wanted, but being in that aisle so long made me not feel well, and I left the store empty handed. Mark & I went to McDonald's. He paid, but I drove. Mark can't drive with his foot all fucked up. We went home after that & I went to bed. My neighbors have got a new bed, or pillow, or headboard, or position, and their fucking is louder than it's ever been before; they woke me up again. Maybe they've just heard me and Jeremy going at it, and just feel no need to restrain themselves anymore? lol

I went to the Aut Bar around 1am, but it was beyond dead. I came home, but then remembered I didn't get what I needed from Meijer so I went to Kroger, but they had just closed for a 6 hour period to do something to the floors. Mollie hasn't answered her phone in like 24 hours. Jennifer & I are about to lose contact for Joss knows how long... Jeremy's out of town. I e-mailed Kim, but I haven't heard back from her. I'm not really having a great night. Hopefully that will change. I'm going to sleep some more, then maybe eat, and do some webpage based stuff. I've been lagging on that.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:53 AM
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I couldn't get to sleep last night. I did get some webpage stuff done. 4 new poems, with art, plus I gave my friend Andrea her own page, and reworked the Hollywood People altogether. It still has a long way to go, but I like it a lot more. I'm super tired, and cranky, but I have to get my medical stuff filled out before I head to the doctor. The appointment is at 2pm, but I need to be there 15 minutes early. It's near Briarwood Mall, and I just know traffic is going to suck because of Art Fair. I just want to go to sleep, but I've been waiting for this appointment for like a month!

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:57 AM
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My appointment was like a nightmare. I arrived 15 minutes early, as instructed. But the woman at the desk said my appointment had been moved to this coming Monday!?! Lucky for me, I'd brought everything they'd sent me concerning the appointment, including 2 reminders they'd sent me; one of them even had this date highlited in yellow marker. They said it kind of worked out because they had a cancellation, and took me to a room where I waited for a half an hour. Since I hadn't slept, my acid reflux was bad, which was ok since that's why I was there. I was also getting a migrain, but I didn't want to take my meds before seeing the doctor or I wouldn't be able to drive home.

When the doctor came in, I was already a bit grouchy from lack of sleep, and the crap about the change in appointment. The doctor was looking at X-Rays, which I didn't understand, since I haven't had any X-Rays taken in Joss knows how long. Then he said he had another patient he needed to see, and if I minded. I told him that I kind of did; that I was getting a migrain, and that I'd already been kept waiting 45 minutes. The Doctor, who is new there, said he'd check to see what the staff said about seeing patients out of order. I didn't understand this, since I had been ontime and had proven to them that my appointment hadn't bee rescheduled, while this person was there after me. He must have seen the other patient, because it was after 3pm when he finally got back to me.

He seemed to be in a rush to leave. I had to jump into his closing statements a few times. I told him about my problems with food, and he prescribed me a new medication for that. That made sense to me, as some people respond better to different meds for the same problem. I told him about how food affected my stomach; about having diarrhea really bad sometimes, while being constipated the other times - and having stomach cramps. He said I have IBS. Now I have considered this before, but he didn't do any fricking tests before he came to this conclusion; nothing. I probably do have IBS, but I want to KNOW that I do, you know? Then he proscribed me something for when I have diarrhea, and something for the cramps. He said it was kind of like men having periods, which I had often thought myself. He seemed ready for me to leave, and I had already told him about the severity of my acid reflux, so I jumped in again, and told him that it's been really bad for nearly 5 years, and I want to know what's going on inside me - is it causing damage - is it hurting me - I WANT TO KNOW. He's setting up an appointment for an Esophagogastroduodenoscopy - where they knock me out, and stick a camera down my throat into my stomack, and maybe take some biopsies. This is what I wanted, so that was cool. I want answers. If the meds he proscribed help, that's great, but I think I might get a 2nd oppion on the IBS or at least ask for some tests of some kind - I want to be sure that what's going on inside of me, is what I'm being told that it is. I want proof, and I want ideas and alternatives and the whole shebang! I've put this off for years, and I don't want the brush off now that I've finally done something about it.

After that, he said he wanted to examine me, which was odd, because don't they usually do that first? He had me lay down and listened to me breathe in 4 spots, but didn't tell me to breathe deeply or anything, then he felt my stomach for a second in like two spots (didn't even cover the whole thing) and then said he was done. I said: "That was fast." and he replied that I was a healthy man. Maybe I am, but I've got some problems here, and he figured I was healthy without asking any major questions, and without any kinds of tests. I don't trust this. He wants me to get a blood test sometime soon, to find out if I'm allergic to some kind of wheat germ? I can't even find that written anywhere. Ugh.

I took my midrin once I got to the car, and I'm super spacy now, which is actually a relief, cause my headache was fucking killing me. I have to pick up Mark at 6pm. I need to get my perscriptions filled. We need to get plastic cups, real dishes, toilet paper, listerine, bug killer, and other random stuff...

And I need to go to bed for awhile.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:11 PM
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   Thursday, July 20, 2006

I was a little late to Mark's work, getting there around 6:10pm. I called to let him know I was outside; he said he'd be out in 5. The last time I looked at the clock before he finally arrived it was 6:43. We went on some errands. We went to Meijer to get my drugs, and groceries and stuff. Kelli Parker & her dad Rusty were there. Kelli didn't talk to me, and she looked like she'd been crying; it was surreal. I took out the trash when I got home, and watched some Smallville until I finally fell asleep. I woke up a little after 2am. I ate, and read my e-mail, and the news and stuff. I changed my myspace music to Dandy Warhols ("You Were The Last High") which sounds weird without the Beach Boys playing along; it's one of those really good mashups.

I may scan some pictures, or convert some other ones. I'm not sure. I've been in a daze lately, and that's ok. Oh, they didn't have one of my drugs at Meijer so I have to go to Walgreens to get that; maybe I'll feel up to doing that later.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:34 AM
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   Friday, July 21, 2006

Work was dead on Thursday; so dead that they asked me to come in 2 hours late, and then let me go early. I finally finished taking a roll of film. I haven't felt like having pictures taken lately, but I'm trying to carry on with that, as it was this whole summer plan thing, to take tons of pictures all summer through the end of October. I really like my facial hair; a lot. But it's starting it itch, and that sucks. I went to Walgreens a few hours ago, but the drug they were supposed to have for me, was set up at the wrong location, and that one was closed. I told them I could pick it up on Saturday. Mollie was supposed to hang out with us Thursday night but cancelled, which is fine, as I slept for a couple hours when I got home from work. I rented some porn from Video Hut, which I can take back Saturday, when I get my drug, and pick up Mollie, as she's up for hanging out this weekend.

I want to sleep, and scan pictures. Maybe take some more pictures. I have 1 more roll in my camera, and another of the black & white on Mark's camera, which I'd like to have ready for developing by the end of July at the latest. Blah. I feel like I'm stoned, but I haven't taken any pills or anything; what's up with that?

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:34 AM
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   Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Ok. This will most likely be a very long post, as I've been putting this off for days now.

Friday, we were dead at work, again. But my coworkers, as usual, were fun to be with. I got a roll of film developed, which turned out great; lots of pix of coworkers, some friends from Necto & Aut bar. Friday night, I stayed in; Art Fair sucks. Over the weekend I reread "Magic's Pawn" by Mercedes Lackey, almost without trying; and just like all the other times I've read it, I cried a lot.

Saturday morning I tried to watch "Mallrats", and failed. My cousin Joy had suggested we see "Clerks II" together, and I had to tell her that I saw the prescreening of "Clerks" for free, and walked out of the theater, 3 quarters of the way through the movie out of boredom. I'd never seen the prequel "Mallrats" (which takes place 1 day before "Clerks") though I own "Chasing Amy" & loved "Dogma" (both of which take place 2 years after "Clerks"). "Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back" (which takes place 3 years after "Dogma" )was mostly stupid, but in a fun kind of way - and their cameo in "Scream 3" was perfectly cool. Anyways, I've come to the conclusion, that I don't need to be a fan of the entire series; I'll just stick to the ones that I love. I slept all day, which was FABULOUS. When I woke, there was a voicemail from Jeremy who was still up North, but had some minutes and a signal, and could now tell me how bored he was, as everyone else was out 'log splitting'; lol. Later, I picked up Mollie, bought Jeremy his frivolous, but sweet birthday gift (which he hopefully understands and doesn't hate), picked up a perscription, returned the porn I rented Thursday night, went to McDonalds (where I bought Mollie a Jack Sparrow Plushy, which she loves far too much), and then headed home, where we played Jenga & Poker, until 5:30am. lol I left Jeremy as we were setting up the poker, to tell him that his earlier message made me smile, and that I wish could be playing games with us.

Sunday. Hmmm. I slept. I worked. Work was busy, but then slow at other times; we got everything done (I think). After work, I headed to Club Divine to see if I could maybe get a glimpse of Jeremy, but he wasn't there, and I headed home.

All through the weekend, I worked on my webpage and scanned pictures - mostly at random. I've been writing more poetry this year than in the last few, which pleases me. And I like that I'm putting so much work into the webpage; it's one of those projects that will never be finished, but that isn't the point. ;-0)

Monday morning I drove Mark to work, as he still can't drive; he tried, and failed. ("They tried and failed?" "They tried and died.") As we were about to leave, Jeremy called me. I'd left him a message the night before, telling him of my attempted Jeremy viewing, and he was calling me back. Mark talked to him while I drove Mark to work, then he said goodbye to me, as he had arrived at his destination (a chiropractic appointment); he called me back, about 18 minutes later, and we talked while we drove home. We both had the day off (mostly) but he was really busy. I had an omellette while I finished the Aquaman episode of Smallville; I've been watching the 5th season a lot slower than the previous ones. The Omellette was yummy; made just right, and while they sometimes bother my stomach, this one did not - even when I fell asleep shortly thereafter. I didn't intend to sleep; I just lay down while I was deciding what to do, and I was out like a light, and awoke shortly before it was time to pick up Mark. Nice.

I picked up Mark, and I didn't have to wait for him, which was nice. He wanted to go to Kroger, so we went, and it was all good. He also wanted to go to Best Buy so I could use my gift certificates, but I didn't really want anything, so we headed home. When we got home we took out the trash, and Mark talked to Mollie on the phone; helping her with a computer problem, I think. I got the mail, which included the new Entertainment Weekly, The Advocate, and a letter from my lawyer, telling me that he negotiated a plea bargain on my speeding ticket, from 40 in a 25, to 60 in a 55, which means I won't get any points on my licence (they could have given me up to 3!), and my insurance won't go up at all!!! I still have to pay my ticket tomorrow ($120.00), but that doesn't bother me, as I don't doubt that I was speeding - but the situation called for it, I think, and I didn't deserve the horrible treatment I received as a result thereof by the local police squad.

Mark asked me why I'd put the pan I used for my omelette in with the clean dishes in the dishwasher, and I told him that I thought the dishes were dirty because the washer hadn't been locked, but he insisted that it had been locked. He wasn't there, so how he presumes to know that, I don't know. So I go off and talk to Mollie for awhile on Mark's phone, to tell her about my ticket, and let her tell me about her computer and how it's going to kick ass for games now - and that she's now on the rag, and Cedar Point is mostly out of the question, which I can deal with, as we can maybe set a date, when Mollie is well, and Mark can walk (and drive) - and maybe Jeremy can go too; I like including him in things - I want him to meet my friends and he gets along with Mark really well. It would actually be cool if Danny could go. ;-0)

So after my Mollie conversation, I head downstairs, and Mark is making a salad with one of the bowls he recently bought (which I love), and I tell him that one of the bowls in the dish washer was used to make the omelette, which really pisses him off, he gives me the bowl and when I ask why, he tells me to dump it, which I do, then I sit it on the counter and turn to leave. He asked me if I was going to rinse it out, and I told him no, because I didn't make that mess; shouts after met that: "Yes you did!!!". And shortly there after there is a loud smashing of glass. I tried not to let his behavior upset me, because when I get upset, I get sick; sometimes for hours, sometimes for longer. I was able to not get sick, or upset, and that was a good feeling. Shortly after I got to my room there was another loud glass shattering noise. I didn't let it bother me. Mark later slammed his bedroom door. Something that I'm forbidden to do, as he says that it really hurts his ears - in fact he once told me that since I wasn't sorry for slamming my door that he was going to hit me. But I didn't let any of that get to me. Later when I went downstairs, I found that he had smashed both of the bowls, which I so loved. And again, I didn't let it get to me. I said to myself, that those were his bowls, and if he wants to smash them, that's fine. It was childish and stupid, and could have hurt him, or me - but whatever. What if I had walked into the kitchen in my bare feet, without flipping on the light? There were huge shards of glass all over the place. I figured he wasn't going to clean it up, as to do so would hurt him because of his ankle - and also because he was being a dick. I ate the apple I got at the store earlier, then cleaned up all the glass I could find, before going to Meijer, and buying the same bowls, this time for me; if he breaks these ones, I'll be pissed. lol

He answered a question for me later, but you could tell he didn't want to speak to me, and he kept his door closed the rest of the night, which he doesn't often do. I read, and cleaned my room a bit, and tried to get things ready for today. I slept for an hour and a half, then got Mark out of bed.

We had to be up early as I had a dermatology apointment at 8:35. Turned out that the appointment was at UofM Hospital, and not Briarwood Practices as I had first thought, so I didn't have time to drive Mark to work, and headed out on my own. The appointment went well, I guess. If you're not a fan of TMI, then you wouldn't be reading this, so I'll just continue on I guess. I've had these patches of discoloration on my penis for about a year. I thought it might be an STD and got tested for everything, but it wasn't an STD. I was given a cream to use, but it didn't help. The spots are getting worse. They aren't painful, and I'd been told they wouldn't hurt me or anyone else. And while it's obvious to me that my dick looks different, other people (i.e. - men who see my cock up close and personal) don't seem to be bothered by it. But I'm a bit nervous of having my cock photographed, as it will be apparent that it's changed, when compared to my other photos. It turns out that I have Vitiligo, which I've seen other people have on their bodies; but it's only on my dick, which seems weird. lol I had some blood drawn, as this condition is sometimes linked to those with Thyroid problems, and they gave me A perscription for a cream ("Protopic"), which may help if taken twice a day for 3 to 6 months. The cream is not required, as I'm not in any danger, nor are any people who come into contact with me, but I'm considering it.

I have to work at 1 to 5pm. It turns out I won't be going to Cedar Point tomorrow, which I covered, but that's fine, since I can pay my ticket tomorrow (the last day to do so) and then sleep when I'm done, before I pick up Mark. I have Thursday off as well, which is Jeremy's birthday; I'll have to see if I can get his gift to him.

Alright. I'm going to take a short nap. Oh, and I trimmed my beard this morning, which was good, because it was getting kind of scary. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:00 AM
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   Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I didn't get any sleep before work yesterday, so my stomach was a little troubled, and still is, but it will pass soon enough I'm sure. This time of year, it's really slow at work, and everyone was talking about how slow the day was going by. I just wanted to sleep. I rented "Gattaca" which I've been watching on my breaks at work, but only have about 30 minutes left to watch. I saw bits of it years ago when it was first released on dvd, when Mark rented it and watched it; I remember the ending. I've always wanted to see the entire film, and recently read that Joss Whedon wrote "Serenity" while listening to the "Gattaca" soundtrack. I also rented "The Fury", which I've always enjoyed, but haven't seen in many years.

I picked up Mark from work, and helped him carry in the parts for my new computer; not all the parts have arrived yet though. I was really looking forward to our internet connection being fixed on Thursday, but Mark forgot about the appointment and won't be able to keep it now. :-0( It takes forever to check my e-mail - and update my webpage right now.

I went to bed right after I got home, and slept until around 12:30am. I worked on my weppage a bit, and something to eat. I read, and watched an episode of Trek ("The Tholian Web"). And now...I'm not sure what I'm going to be up to. Especially since I'm not going to Cedar Point today. Erg.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:00 AM
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I drove Mark to work this morning, then came home. I was going to drive to the court house, but then decided to walk, which didn't work out as I assumed I'd need my old ticket (even though it wasn't really valid anymore, as it was still part of the case), only I didn't need it after all. After walking there & back I drove and parked near the Aut Bar. I had to go through the metal detecter at the court house, and I had to take off a bunch of jewelry and then my boots too. I was wearing an older pair which are a bitch to get on again, so it took me forever to actually get to the place I needed to go, but when I did there wasn't a line, and my horrible ticket case was officially closed.

I walked back to my car, but then headed over the Farmer's Market. I wanted an apple, but decided I'd visit Jeremy & Kim first at Encore. They were both at the front of the salon, which was conveniant, and it was a nice visit. Jeremy had to go cut hair, and I was going to leave, but one of his coworker's had brought her little boy to work, and he started playing with me and asking me questions, and I didn't really need to be anywhere else, so I just played along. I told him about growing up on a farm, and all the animals; and my favorite pet, the raccoons. He was very impressed. He was adorable, not annoying at all; 4 years old, named Dominique. I took a walk up to the toy store to get some things for a friend that I'd been eyeing for awhile, and saw that they had a raccoon puppet, which I bought for the kid, which he really liked, and everyone else just...beamed at me. It was just this impulsive thing, but it felt good. ;-0)

Kim, Dominique & I were going down to the market; I'd been vocal about my desire for an apple, and Jeremy decided he could join us as well. When we got to the actual market though he told me to wait for him and ran back inside. When he returned he told me that he had forgotten his money and he wanted to buy me an apple. Awwww. We toured the little market area, and Jeremy learned about some plants he has in his yard, and others that he wants to have in his yard. He told me interesting things from his recent vacation, that were both surprising and vague, but we weren't in the best forum for a graphic discussion. lol

I told Jeremy about my mother. I don't know if I mentioned this before, but Tuesday I had this weird feeling that I needed to call my mom. I did but she wasn't home. I asked my younger sister Jamie how mom was and she said that she seemed fime, and I left it at that. Mom called me when she got home from work, and asked me how much I had heard, which confused me, since I hadn't heard anything really. She told me that she was told by a doctor that she might be going blind!?! I told her that was horrible, but she said that she didn't really trust the doctor that told her this and that she was getting a 2nd opinion on Friday. We didn't get to talk more because I had to go...

So I told Jeremy about that, and he asked some questions, and I mentioned that she was probably at work right then, and that she worked in Ann Arbor, and where she worked, and Jeremy told me that his brother and a cousin of his had both worked there too! His very Christian brother's name is Josh. My little sister dated an annoying Christian boy named Josh who worked there as well!?! We were all freaked that my little sister might have dated his little brother!?! lol How weird/cool would that be? lol I talked to my Grandmother about it though and she seems to think that the boy's name was Josh Hill. Even if it's not the same boy, it's still pretty weird to me. And it's possible that mother knew Jeremy's relatives. Wacky.

Grandma also gave me some info about my Dad. I need to track him down, because he want's us to hang out for his birthday (which is also his daughter's birthday - August 23). I called Doug (my step-father) as well, and we had a funny little chat. I miss him.

Jeremy bought me an apple from inside the Kerry Town Shops, and also bought some cheese, cherries and raspberries. We ate in the salon, and talked. It sounds corny, but it's always fun to hang out with Jeremy. I was parked at a parking meter, and I put way too much money in that thing today! lol Jeremy couldn't find his keys so I drove him to his car (which he did have keys to), and then we went to WRAP so could get some work done there. It was still fun hanging out, and having random moments of smiles, and conversations, and flirtations, but he was really busy, and I was really tired, so he gave me a hug goodbye, and then gave me some good kisses. ;-0) I went home and went to sleep.

My alarm woke me to pick up Mark. I finished a cd for Magan, and dropped that off on the way, so I wouldn't miss her. I picked up Mark, and we went to Lowes, as Mark needed some stuff for my new computer, and I didn't want to have to go there tomorrow. Tony Flint, my old boss from Meijer (10 years ago now), was there! He's been working there for 2 years, and sees Mark all the time, and always tells him to tell me hello, and he never has!!! I was so happy to see him. We exchanged phone #s, and even though I was very tired, I asked him if he wanted to hang out tonight, but he has to work early tomorrow and couldn't do it. He's about 10 years older than me (he's 42), which he would never tell us back in the day. He has a person he sleeps with, and he lives in Ann Arbor, and seems happy with his job - and we might hang out sometime tomorrow, which would be great.

I'm also, hopefully spending some time with Jeremy tomorrow, who took the day off for his birthday, only to have people insist he do a bunch of stuff that day (as nobody really knows it's his birthday, and he doesn't want to tell them). He's not handling the aging process very well, which is something that I've never had a problem with, so I can't really relate. Like, I'm excited that I'm going to be 32, which seems weird to a lot of people I've told.

I have to drive Mark to & from work tomorrow. I have to see Jeremy at sometime. And maybe see Tony tomorrow as well; he works until 3pm. Oh, and our old friend Yvette Tower will be starting as a cashiere back at Meijer tomorrow after 7pm, and I thought it would be great if we went and saw her, but he doesn't go to that Meijer ever; they let him go where there were a bunch of job cuts a few years ago, and I think it still bothers him. That's all I know about tomorrow.

After we left Lowe's we stopped at Meijer for nothing, and then Aut Bar, so Mark could briefly meet Magan & Gerry, then home. I went right to sleep, and slept until around 10:50pm. Then I had a snack and wrote this. I need to take a shower and get something more substantial to eat.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:37 PM
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   Thursday, July 27, 2006

After the last entry, I took Jeremy's present(s) down to Mark so he could wrap them; I can't wrap things...not if I want them to look good. On the way out of my room one of the gifts got caught in the doorway and sliced my belly open :-0( It's just a scratch, but it hurts.

I took a shower.

Ok, from here, until the last 3 paragraphs or so, this post is about Jeremy, and me figuring stuff out - or just getting it out there, so for anybody not interested in that - feel free to stop now, and skip to the end, or just wait for the next entry. ;-0)

I was thinking about the day, and Jeremy. I miss dating Jeremy, back before meeting Seth; before the lie was known, and before... Just before. Our time together is fun; it really is, and I enjoy it, but it's different. Everything changes of course. But there are walls between us now; at least there seem to be. Those walls are there for a reason; to protect us, and keep us from falling into each other when we're not ready - but I'm starting to feel like I did when I first met Jeremy. Back then I could look at him but not touch him. Now there is TOUCHING going on, but there are parts of him that I can't reach, and I'm not supposed to, and it's distracting and annoying. Perhaps I'll get used to this, and it won't be a big deal. But I liked it when he referred to me as his boyfriend, and told people we were dating - even if that isn't what we planned on. I liked seeing him get so excited to see me and spend time with me - and it's not like he doesn't seem happy to spend time with me now - but there was this whole GLOW factor which seems slightly less bright of late. We're friends now because I broke up with him, and then said I wanted to be friends. I'm not whining exactly, I'm just trying sort out what I'm feeling, because it's very confusing. It's complicated; like all relationships I suppose. But I feel very close to him, and I care about him. But I've never felt this way for anyone who had a "boyfriend". It's true that their relationship mirrors my relationship with Mark (maybe this is Karma at work?), and part of my feeling of closeness with Jeremy even stems from that, but they still refer to each other as boyfriends, while Mark & I made that separation when it first became apparent that we couldn't be that to each other. And yet, Jeremy being close with Danny doesn't bother me either, just because I know what it's like to date someone for a very long time, and then still live with them, and still be close to them, and still have all the same problems, even while slipping up now and again and trying to make it work. I know all of that stuff intimately! So, I get it. The ways we're alike have always enthralled me, I think - but sometimes they're a bit overwhelming too.

And I miss him reading my blog. He used to struggle to keep up to date on it, and now I don't think he does. I didn't expect him to before actually; it wasn't ever something that I required, but when he'd tell me that he was actually investing time in reading it; it made me smile, and feel really great.

Hmmmm.

Jeremy is a great guy. He's a really busy guy, who does a lot of great work, helping a great many people. I'm very idle by comparison. I'm very introspective, and I spend a lot of my time sort of dealing with all kinds of issues that plague me, while he helps others and avoids a lot of his problems thusly. He's trying though, which pleases me; I want him to be good. I want him to be able to look at himself; really look at himself, and know himself, and love himself. That's what I want most for him.

Jeremy is hot. Something about his body, and him just being him, really turns me on. Our sex is really great. I think a lot of that has to do with how open we've been with each other; it's challenging to be that open, and there are definite rewards, which we've reaped at every opportunity. There are also all these parts of our lives which are so alike, that a lot of people just don't get - but we both do, because we're virtually the same in those areas that others scoff at. It's very comforting to know that someone else has experienced these things and survived - and I can share that with him. It's very compelling. I think it adds an intensity to all of our more intimate moments.

He's not ready for, and may never be ready for, a commited monogamous relationship. That's been a problem with most of the men that I've dated. But he's struggled to be as honest as possible about this. He did lie about it once. And he did keep other things from me, but the latter was because I wasn't as clear as I meant to be about what I wanted and needed to know. That may sound like an excuse, but it's not; I just get what he means; like always, it seems.

Now, I like the idea of being monogamous; that's something that I've always strived for, and I've never been comfortable having an open relationship, and when I'm dating someone I don't feel very comfortable seeking out other partners, and why that is, I don't know. I cheated once, and I hated it. Of course there's a lie involved in cheating, and guilt. I told my partner the truth as soon as I saw them though, because I knew that I'd made a horrible mistake in not talking about my problems - when that's what I should have done in the first place, but I didn't even realize the problems were there. It was a revelation, and a painful one, for both of us. Would it have made a difference if I'd been open about it? I don't know. And there was a time, much later, when I finally knew exactly who I wanted to be with - that I encouraged that person to explore other partners because I wanted him to be as sure about me as I was about him - but he refused - and said that he already knew. The only thing I required from him, to make that exploration work for me, was his honesty, and his openess where his partners were concerned. Maybe that's what I need now.

Not being mongamous scares me a little. Sexually. I know that Jeremy plays things pretty safe. But we don't have protected oral sex. And where I felt completley safe with him in that arena before; I'm not sure I do now. So that's an issue. It's one thing to accept that risk when you & your partner are dating and you're not seeing anyone else. It's another thing to go down on someone who's had sex with random people the week before, the day before, or the day of...

I'm also worried about him blacking out. What if he had unprotected anal sex with someone in that time? What if he did any number of things? And this isn't just selfish; I don't want him to be hurt! It scares me to think of the trouble he could get into. I care about him, and I don't want anything bad to happen to him.

I love seeing him smile.

And I love our conversations, when we get to have them. Those are usually in my room; when we can talk about anything. That's a huge turn on. For instance, I know that I could talk to him about anything that I've written so far, in this blog, and many things that I haven't. We're just really cool like that. He's seen me when I've felt very vulnerable and during each of those encounters he's been thoughtful, and kind, and respectful. And I very much want to do the same for him, and I think I have in some instances, and I'd like to continue being that for him.

I guess I get the birthay thing. He'll turn 29 before I finish this post. 29 means in a year he'll be 30, which seems like a huge milestone in someone's life. I thought it would be for me, because I never expected to live that long, and then it just...wasn't. I realized, for myself, that all of the things that other people seem to want to have by that time in their lives just doesn't hold the same sway for me. I feel a little bad that I haven't gone to school more, but that's really the only thing. I feel like I'm not really racing other people, or that if I was, I'd already have won, because my course has been so full; emotionally. My memory has kept me very in tune with my past, and how I've dealt with that...and that's been my journey. While most people seem to forget parts of their lives, and just move on; I've explored those paths, and will continue to do so - I'll go where ever I'm called. And that's all I require of myself.

I feel really good having written this out, but I wish Jeremy was here so I could share it with him, and hold him, and kiss him, and...well, you get the idea. I know it would rock beyond the telling of it, after something like this. ;-0)

"I want to feel you from the inside."

Ok. I need to get dressed; go to the grocery store; and get gas in the car. I'm really glad I have this blog, because I feel great now.

Ooh. Mark & I are trying to plan a trip to Mackinack in late August. I know that the two of us would be going, plus Mollie does tend to join us, and I want her there. I don't know if the rest of our friends are up for the trip or not? I know that Karen wants to go. Do Carrie & Adam want to go? I don't know.

We also want to take a trip to Chicago with everybody. I want to take a day and go to Greenfield Village, and Jeremy would like to go too, which sounds like a lot of fun to me. I also want to go to Cedar Point sometime; I miss roller coasters! And we need to play some damned Lazer Tag!

Ok. I'm off.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:43 AM
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After the last entry, I tried to trim my beard into a new style, which turned out to suck a lot. Long story short, I shaved the whole damned thing off by the time I was done, and you know what? I love my face. I love my face when it's devoid of fur. I did like having a beard, and I'm sure I'll enjoy it again soon; but I always feel so much better when I shave it off! This is how Bald Jason is supposed to look! ;-0)

I went to Meijer for stuff. I went to Kroger for food. I filled the gas tank, which was, not surprisingly, a depressing activity. When I got home, Mark helped me out with some stuff, and we talked about the bowl shattering events the other day, and worked that out; love that part. When we saw Tony Flint at the store he said that one day after we've grown old together, Mark & I will get back together. I don't think that's true. I think we'll always be close; very close, and we may live together, but I doubt we'll ever be a couple again. We tried that, and it didn't work.

I worked on stuff, and now have to wait for Mark to get up so I can drive him to work. Then I have to run an errand, and then go to bed for awhile. And hopefully Jeremy can come over later, and maybe I'll see Tony Flint & Yvette Tower? ;-0) But sleep. Sleep would be good. I've got a really bad headache right now...also my back hurts; what's up with that? I should get to it.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:51 AM
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   Friday, July 28, 2006

After the last entry...

I drove Mark to work; I went to Party America to pick up a gift box and some cards. I needed another card though, and I wanted some gay imagery on it, so I went to Common Language, and waited in the parking lot for a half hour for them to open. Got the card really fast, and shot home, where I filled out all the cards, and situated all the gifts. Just as I was about to call Jeremy, he called me. He was on his way to lunch with the Chief of Police for WRAP business. He said he was tired and his stomach was bothering him; things I could easily relate to. He asked me what I was up to today, and I told him that I had just finished setting up his "gift", and that I was going to bed, but that I'd leave the door unlocked, and he could join me at any time. He liked that idea; saying that just crawling into bed with me, and sleeping for awhile together would be great.

I went to bed, with the air turned down low, but they were working on the lawn or something, so I used some of my earplugs. Next thing I knew there was a naked Jeremy crawling into bed with me! lol It felt more like it was my birthday than his. But I couldn't go back to sleep right away because I had some acidy issues. I told him so and we talked. I took out my earplugs before I spoke to him, and he told me that my alarm had been going off when he got there and he thought that I must just really be a heavy sleeper. lol I didn't want to keep him awake, but he said he came there to see me, not sleep. We talked about a lot of stuff, most of it very casual. It was nice; like a dream, what with the surreal lighting, and waking up with him there - and us both being naked and cuddly without being all sexual. It was almost perfect.

I gave him a card, which he liked...then I brought out the presents. I thought he'd be pissed, and he was a little - only not. He just doesn't like admitting he likes attention. The Barbie Dolls I got him (which Mollie helped me track down - while Mark wrapped all the gifts) were a hit; he absolutely loved them! I also got him some survival gear (condoms & lube), and a photo album, for Jason/Jeremy themed pictures, with the first few pages already filled with the pics I have of us, plus some of me that he had told me he really liked. He said he hoped this was the first of many such photo albums. Awwww.

On a side note; I have "Fade Into You" by Mazzy Star, stuck in my head. A few months ago I started tracking people down on MySpace, and I found an old chum named Steve Rink. Steve & I knew each other, and hung out a couple times, and even had a naked encounter or two, but we were never really very close. Anyways, he was recently married, to a man, and they live in Switzerland! Cool. So I read that one of the songs that they danced to was "Fade Into You" by Mazzy Star. I had heard the song before but never really paid attention to it. I downloaded it, lit a candle, and toasted my old friend while listening to the song, and then set the song aside. I try to update my myspace song fairly often, because I'm constantly listening to different things, and I thought it might be neat if my page reflected that. So I added that song the other day, and I find myself kind of moving through my life to that song, at least for now, and that song colored the day as well. ;-0)

So Jeremy, who has never seen an episode of Buffy...says to me that he thinks we should watch the musical episode, which made me smile. ;-0) But we were sidetracked by hunger, which was itself sidetracked by conversation, and the ever approaching time when I would have to pick up Mark and Jeremy would have to head home. But next time: Food, Buffy, Fun For All!

The Jeremy interlude in my day still feels like a dream, and I like that. ;-0)

I picked up Mark from work, and I was so tired. I had wanted to see Tony Flint and Yvette Tower today, but I knew if I didn't get some serious sleep soon I'd just wilt away. The rest of my computer parts had arrived. Mark & I took those out to the car, and then went to McDonald's where the cute, soft spoken, eyeliner, nail polish wearing boy served us our food. We actually went through the drive-thru because the line inside was long, then we ate in the car. Then home Home HOME. Brought the computer parts inside, and then went right to sleep.

I would say that I went to sleep around 7:30pm. I woke up at 11pm, and used the bathroom, and went back to sleep. I woke up around 1:10am. It was really cold in the condo, but I didn't want that to change, so I put on my sweats and went downstairs. Mark was working on my new computer! He had told me that morning that he probably wouldn't work on it, as he hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. I told him thank you, but that I was worried he'd make himself sick, not sleeping like this. He's still working on it, but it seems to be working.

I was hungry. I had some soup, and bread, and I ate my McDonald Land cookies. And I had an apple before that. Now I'm good. I answered some myspace e-mail. Linda Riker left me a comment that just said "Hi Love" which put the song "Goodbye Love" from RENT in my head, and now "Fade Into You" and the RENT song are duking it out in my head. We'll see which one wins; maybe they'll get along really well and just share my brain.

If Jeremy is reading this (or anyone else for that matter) my myspace page can be seen here. My gay.com profile can be viewed here.

Oh, and I also used a Amazon Gift Certificate I'd been saving to pre-order the Widescreen Special Edition of "V For Vendetta", which comes out on Tuesday. If Jeremy hasn't seen that, it would be a great movie to watch! It's so cool! ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:33 AM
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Since the last entry...

I watched the 2nd Season Finale of Enterprise, which makes me want to watch more of it. I've seen it all, of course, as this blog has attested...but I miss it. We'll see if I can find the time. I've been having a persistant migrain over the last few days; probably because of the random changes in weather. My meds are doing their job right now, but I know the headache is still there. ugh.

I drove Mark to work. He didn't get much sleep last night. I should probably take a nap before work, but I'm not sure I can sleep.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:31 AM
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   Saturday, July 29, 2006

I didn't sleep before work. I just relaxed, ate, and got ready to go. I was on time. I had considered going early and taking Jeremy's birthday flowers to him, which I had bought for him, but then put in their vase, which kind of precluded him taking them with him. I thought I could drop them off at his work, which is really close to where I live; that way they could be enjoyed, and when they died, he could just keep the vase. But I didn't really have time, so I didn't. I'll probably do it tomorrow morning sometime.

At work, with Bryan and DJ, it was mostly slow; not dead, but not busy. This guy came in that I've had problems with in the past. He's about 6'4"; about 300 pounds; and he's an asshole, and probably mental... I think he's kind of retarded. I've never liked him. He rents on this old man's account, so he can get his discount. This old man, who must be his father or grandfather, is on oxygen, with one foot in the grave, and this guy, who depends on him for stuff, treats the old man like shit. I think the guy must threaten the old man, or the old man is even meaner than him. Typically, the asshole guy comes in, looks for stuff that he wants, while sneering a lot, and then has the old guy come in to pay - as DJ once put a note on the guy's account that he has to be there in order fot the asshole guy to rent on his account. So, this one time, as he was leaving he called me a fag. I told Bryan and DJ what had happened and that I didn't want him in the store, because, firstly, he's a dick, and 2ndly, I'm not allowed to saying anything rude to him, which kind of ties my hands and pisses me off even more. I've only seen him one other time since then, before today, and he was in & out before I could do anything about it. Today he came in, and called me a faggot. DJ was right next to me and asked him what he said, and as he was walking out the front door (in the same cowardly way he did it the first time) he said it again, only louder. DJ dropped everything and chased after him! Bryan followed suit. DJ chased him into the entry alcove of the Credit Union, next door, and asked him to repeat himself to his face - and the asshole guy, who towers over DJ and is HUGE got right up in DJ's face and asked him "Do you have a problem with that?". Which was when DJ's anger was turning to healthy fear... But then Bryan was there to back him up, and even though the guy could probably kill them both, DJ told him that he didn't want him in his store anymore. They came back, without the asshole; the got the licence plate # of the old guy's car, and reported them to the police, and asked that they be barred, but what has to be done, is that when the asshole is in the store again, we need to call 911 and have the police read him this statement which bars him from the store, and then he can be called in on trespassing. That sucks. But I can't tell you how good it made me feel to see Bryan & DJ go ripping after him! I thanked them, and they said I didn't need to, but I told them that I'm well aware that there are gay people that work at a job where what happened might actually have been turned on them, and that I wanted them to know that I appreciate them. It would have been very different if I hadn't been at work. Asshole Guy would have called me a fag, and I would have said "Yeah, and? I am a fag, and I'm hot, while you're a grotesqely fat, disturbingly ugly, retarded fuck, with zero chance of getting any pussy whatsoever. I think I've got the far better deal, ASSHOLE." or many a varient thereof.

After that things were quiet. Bill, Andrea, Joe, and Matt eventually joined us, and Bryan left, and Nate stopped by. I watched the start of "Gay Sex In The 70's" on my break. After my break, this woman who had rented season 3 of Buffy came in with her husband, and confessed that she had watched season 4, without Angel, and that she wanted to go right to season five of Buffy and skip Angel - which I talked her out of, because she's basically just skipped 22 episodes of Buffy! It was so much fun convincing them to watch it, and they rented the first 3 discs of Angel! Then my lesbian gal pal Jennifer came in, as did Linda (this other woman, who's a big favorite at work) and someone asked Linda if she was ok, and she said that she was fine, except that I had obviously fallen in love with another woman! And I said that NO ONE had EVER accused me of that before, which we all laughed about. lol (Only I was, once accused of that by Jennifer Clemente!). I walked this Jennifer outside, as I was leaving too, and I recommended V for Vendetta to her, and told her about the anti-bush, gay/lesbian content, and she got really excited about that. I love it when a new movie is released that I can actually feel good about encouraging people to see. It's not like I encourage them to see the bad ones, but we haven't had anything to encourage in so fucking long! lol

It took awhile for Mark to get out of work, and I was so beat. When we got home, I went right to bed. I woke up several times before I actually got out of bed. I had considered, at one point, going to Aut Bar, and Necto, but I feel a little out of it, and I just think that's a bad idea tonight.

Mark & I have to go to comcast tomorrow sometime before noon to get this thing to fix our internet connection, which had been deadly slow this past week. My new computer is all put together, but Mark has to put it through some tests, and get everything perfect before we set it all up. I'm trying to not be excited, and not be freaky happy about it until I actually have it, and all my stuff has been transferred to it, and it's all good. We'll see how that plays out this weekend.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:42 AM
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   Sunday, July 30, 2006

I'm using my new computer. There are probably some bugs to work out, but I'm using it! Our internet connection is dial-up for now, as the new comcast gizmo didn't fix our problem, and they wouldn't refund our money, so Mark cancelled comcast; so no cable (which I never watched) and no high-speed internet - which I'm going to miss. We're getting DSL in about a week though, which will be better.

So I didn't sleep after the last entry; I just stayed up to run those errands with Mark. We went to comcast and got that aforementioned gizmo, after waiting in a really long line of annoyed people. We dropped of the memory for Mollie's computer with her brother Kenny, who was working at Staples, and then we took Jeremy's birthday flowers to him at work, and chatted with Kim, as Jeremy was really busy.

There are tons more details in those stories, that I just don't care to relive at this moment in time. lol

I slept after we got home. I woke up with a horrible migrain and took 2 midrin right away, and took a hot shower, while I shaved. I took another midrin an hour later (as directed) and it still was letting up. I went to the Aut Bar (looking extremely cute, I might add), for the sole purpose of drinking alcohol, which isn't something you should do on this medication, but I NEEDED this headache to be gone.

The drinks worked...all too well. I bought one for myself, and then several more bought for me, and I was toasted; drunk; gone. My ex-bf Paul was there with his friend Jason, and we chatted for about an hour; it was really nice. Chad was there, and I danced with him. Sam was there, and I tried very hard to ignore him, which wasn't easy the way he was grinding his crotch into my leg. Eventually he wandered off. Jeremy's friend Jeff was there, and he said that Jeremy speaks very highly of me. That was good to hear, as I never really imagined him talking about me at all. lol

I left a lot of drunken messages on peoples voicmails, before driving myself home. I felt ok at that point, and I don't live far from the bar - and I made it home safe and sound. Mark was getting my new computer running, with a few problems, but it's mostly done now. I want to get some DVD discs as soon as possible to burn pictures, and dvds for my friends!!!

When Mark & I were at Encore, Kim was trying to get Mark to go to a club with her; City Club or Necto, and Mark said he might when his ankle is better. I have to drive him to a followup appointment about that on Monday. I close the store tonight, and I have Monday off.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:43 AM
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   Monday, July 31, 2006

I had less than 100 pages left in "Magic's Promise" when I went to sleep around 1pm. When I headed out, I took extra time to go to Walgreens and get my perscription, which wasn't ready, even though it was supposed to be ready last night at 11:30pm. My headache was back, and I only had one midrin left. I went to work, a bit late after having to wait at Walgreens for the drugs that weren't there. It sucked.

Work was super busy tonight; I worked with Nate & Joe, while Bryan & Chris stopped by. It was crazy! It was mostly horrible. But it died down enough towards closing time that we were able to get the stuff done that we needed to get done, even if it didn't have that extra polish that it's had lately thanks to business being so slow. I bought 4 dvds: "Donnie Darko: The Director's Cut", "Imagine Me & You", "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang", and "Underworld: Evolution".

I went to Club Divine after work. I had to go to Ypsi anyways, to get my drugs, which they swore would be ready this time. I also thought I'd stop by Mollie's and get my copy of "Breakfast on Pluto" back from her, but she didn't answer her phone, again. After Mollie didn't answer, I called Jeremy to make sure he was working; I was leaving him a message on his voicemail when he called me back, and I told him I'd see him when I got there. Then I called Mark to let him know I'd be out late, and not to worry about me.

The club was actually a lot of fun tonight. Other Sunday nights that I've gone, have been dead, with sucky music. The music was fun; the company was fun, and the dancing was fun. I met a lot of people, and ran into others that I knew. I saw Jeremy bartending - disturbingly cute. The smiles he flashed me made me want to fuck him right there. And I saw David Grant, who was supposed to meet friends, but they stood him up. Ryan, the gaysion, was also working the bar. We used to talk and stuff years and years ago, and then something happened, and that stopped. I have no memory of what that was, but it always surprises me when he doesn't say hello. I met a guy named Jamie, and I danced with a bunch of other people. James Mitchell was there, and we danced as well. I should remember peoples names but I don't. Ugh. But I had a lot of fun, and I'm planning on going again next Sunday night.

David walked me to my car, and then I drove him to his. He's still living with his parents, but will be going away to school in Chicago, in just about a month. That's rocks! He said he never got my e-mail with the last 2 poems, and that he lost my phone #, and I believe him. He wants me to call him before he leaves; we'll see what he thinks of the poetry, as one of them might be taken badly, while the other one might just explain some stuff.

I went to Walgreens and got my drugs. I knew I was going to Meijer, but I decided to go to the Ann Arbor/Saline store in case Yvette Tower was working...and she was! We talked for about an hour, catching up, and there were at least 2 big hugs! It was fantastic! Frank was there too, and there was cute banter...though no real sparks; I think that ship has passed. He's a top, and after being with someone so versatile, seeing someone who's just one thing, doesn't thrill me so much.

I got home around 4:30am. Ate. Read my e-mail, and wrote this. I have to drive Mark to the doctor's around 11am - then drop him off at work and pick him up at 6pm. I may go to Necto tonight; I'm not sure. We'll see how the day goes. I'm either goint to sleep for awhile, or attempt to finish the damned book.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:22 AM
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I updated some of my GLBT inclusive movie links, and ordered "Third Man Out" with what was left of my amazon gift certificate. I drove Mark to his doctor's appointment, then took him to Wendy's and dropped him off. I went to Kroger for some groceries. I'm not usually one to get everything at once, so I go throughout the week as I need more. Mark was telling me that he found a really cool webpage design system that's better than the one I have now, and he's convinced that when I used it I'll want to restart my page from scratch!?! Well, if he's right, then that update in November might be bigger than I expected. Oh, and the new computer can't use our current scanner, which really sucks, because I've been trying to get my 1,000 plus pictures scanned to save to disc...but I guess we're getting a new scanner; hopefully soon.

I did an update on a list of my GLBT inclusive DVD library, and it seems that I have 585 titles (including the one I have loaned out, and the 2 I have preordered). That probably seems really impressive to some people, but it just seems like a very nice begining to me. There are at least that many that I don't have with more coming out every week; not that I'm complaining. ;-0)

Probably not a shocker to most of you, but it's fricking hot outside. I'm glad to be indoors, in the air conditioning. I'm going to read, and take a nap before I have to pick up Mark.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:58 PM
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