Monday, September 1, 2008
We got slammed at work tonight. Also, LC screwed up my food, and I ended up getting it for free, but it sort of knocked me for a loop. I survived the night, but just barely.
posted by Bald Jason at 12:55 AM
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I spoke to Mollie, Michael & Corey online last night, but I didn't last long as I was exhausted, and went to bed, where I read a chapter of my book and then slept until 10am. I watched Doctor Who's "Last of the Time Lords", as Chris had mentioned that she'd just seen that one, only I didn't stop there and continued with "Time Crash", "Voyage of the Damned", "Partners in Crime", "The Fires of Pompeii" & "Planet of the Ood". Donna is definitely my favorite companion; and it was nice to revisit her early adventures.
I got a call from my dad, wishing me a happy labor day. I called my sister Janice, who isn't feeling well at all. Hopefully she'll get some rest; her kids start school tomorrow. I told her to give me a call if she's feeling better later this week.
I took a shower. I'm about to have a snack. I think I'll try to finish my book now, or at least come close. I haven't decided if I'm going to Necto tonight or not. I might just chill with Michael. Or perhaps we'll play AVP again? I don't know.
I do know, that I'm proud of myself for saving my money this weekend, when almost everyone around me encouraged me to spend. I've only got a bit over $200.00 in the bank, and that scares the hell out of me. But I should be getting a check soon from work, and I'll deposit whatever I have left after groceries this week, and that should help a bit. I've got stuff preordered on Amazon; Star Wars & Star Trek books; Doctor Who / Torchwood / & Sarah Jane dvds. But a lot of that was reduced in price by my amazon birthday gift card, so that's taken care of I think.
I need to organize a new Mollie care package. ;-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 03:13 PM
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I started reading, but fell asleep before even a page was read. I'd taken some pain killer for a potentially killer migrain, and when I woke up there was no pain, so I'm counting it as a win. So I haven't gotten any reading done today. But I'm not worried about that, I got a lot done yesterday. The thing is, there is the upcoming trilogy of Trek books, which spans several different series of Trek books, and is said to shakeup the status quo, and I've been reading books all year to prepare for it. I've got 5 more books, plus the one I'm reading now, to finish before I'm ready for the trilogy. The first book of the trilogy is set to come out in October, though we may get it in late September. The next volume comes out in October/November, and the final book comes out in November/December. As long as I have all the books read before the final volume of the trilogy comes out I'll be happy. The books in question are:
Titan #02: The Red King (reading now)
Articles of the Federation
Titan #03: Orion's Hounds
Titan #04: Sword of Damocles
Next Gen: Greater Than the Sum
Enterprise: Kobayashi Maru
Destiny #01: Gods of Night
Destiny #02: Mere Mortals
Destiny #03: Lost SoulsThere will also be several followup novels to the trilogy in 2009, so that's another reason I want to read these as they become available.
posted by Bald Jason at 08:41 PM
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Tuesday, September 2, 2008
I finished my book Monday night, before getting ready for the bar. The crowd was a bit different tonight, but it was still fun. Though there has been an annoying trend lately, where they play only half a song before switching to the next, and Yoda keeps SHOUTING out to the dancers, which he's mostly only done at the end of the night - which I find fucking annnoying. If it continues, I may have to give up Monday nights. I managed to have fun though, by chatting with Jeremy & Kelsey (whom I met Sunday night at Hollywood), their friends, my bar friend Dwayne, and my other bar friend Charles, who I got to kiss and grope. ;-0)
I'm home now, obviously. I have a new voicemail from Mark...which says he'll try calling me again later, only that seems unlikely. Michael couldn't come to the bar because he's got class at 9am. I don't know if I'll start reading the next Trek before I sleep, or if I'll just pass out. I work today at 1pm.
posted by Bald Jason at 02:23 AM
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Just woke up. And I was wrong; Mark did try to call me back, and 3:55am. Why he thought I'd be awake at that time when I've been sleeping at night for over a week is beyond me, but it's just the time difference; is there one? lol My back is killing me. I'm going to have to make a concious effort to sleep differently; position wise, I mean.
I just called in my perscription of Midrin. I still have over half a bottle of my last refill, but today is the last day I could order my final one, so I made the call.
I still feel tired. Perhaps I should nap for another hour or something?
I did start the next Trek book. It's a political novel that follows the trials of a new Federation President throughout the year 2380. It's often praised and compared to the West Wing, which I never watched. Hopefully it doesn't bore me. I won't be reading it straight through. There are other Trek novels that I haven't read yet that also take place in this year, and I know at what points I'm supposed to read them...there are at least 3 novels set within that year that I've already read, not having been aware of this order, and I'd like to reread them actually, but I don't have the time if I want to be ready for that cross series Destiny trilogy. Maybe next time. ;-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 10:16 AM
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I got a call while I was eating this morning, asking if I could come in an hour later than normal on account of our labor woes. That worked fine for me. Later, during my lunch, Bryan said it would be fine if I go home, as we were getting chewed out about labor, again, and so I left. Meaning I worked like 2 hours today. Still, better than nothing...just kind of a waste. The economy sucks. And Hollywood is becoming less fun as a result.
I talked to Mark on my break; said his vaction has been fun, and that he's been relaxing, which is just what I wanted to hear. I have to pick him up from the airport tonight; hopefully that goes smoothly.
I want another AVP LAN party NOW! ;-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 05:18 PM
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Wednesday, September 3, 2008
The Sarah Jane Adventures begins in just 26 days!!! Just 26 Days and we'll be back in the Whoniverse, for another 12 weeks of episodes...with returning villains such as the Sontarans, the Graske and the Bane! And with the return of The Brig, and a rumored appearance by The Doctor himself! But even if that proves to not be true, The Doctor will return in this year's Christmas Special just over a week after the finale of Sarah Jane! 13 Adventures in the Whoniverse coming our way, starting in just 26 days!
Ok. I'm ok now. :0)
Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along-Blog is now available for download on Itunes; the soundtrack I mean. ;-0)
Word is trickling down, and Heroes, Volume 3 sounds amazing - and the final episodes of BSG are said to be "brutal"; I wouldn't expect anything less. ;-0)
Ok. So now that the geeky stuff is out of the way. Michael, Chris & Erica came over last night to play AVP, which was loads of fun. I guess that's still geeky stuff. I even got some Michael/Jason moments of bliss. The game was a bit odd, as they started playing the different races this time, and they all wanted to play aliens, which meant that I couldn't, as they can't really kill each other (as facehuggers), so that was odd. Now I understand why you can limit how many aliens are in a game, and will take advantage of that feature next time.
We played until Mark called from the airport, having landed back in Detroit quite a bit earlier than expected. All my pals left, with a very nice hug goodbye, and then I picked up Mark. It was great to see him, and hug him, and he drove us home. I'd forgotten to take my prilosec, so my tummy was slightly upset. Mark had several adventures on his trip, which sound exciting, but like things I wouldn't have enjoyed, which makes me even happier with my choice to remain home. Still, Mark is home, and last night was good.
I had a lot of trouble getting to sleep last night, but once I did, I slept well, and had good dreams, if slightly scary dreams. I mean...they were kind of nightmarish, but I dealt well with them in the dreams, so I'm rating them as good dreams.
I decided to put the political Trek book on hold, and dive into the next Titan book instead. It's seems better to me, to just read all 4 available Titan books, chronology be damned...which isn't like me at all, but I'm cool with that.
posted by Bald Jason at 10:44 AM
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Thursday, September 4, 2008
Good news first. 25 Days until Sarah Jane. I'm loving my Trek book. I got my drugs and groceries. I got to talk to Mollie & Karen. Had a fun day with Mark. Got to see Bryan & Chris. And last (but not least), a member of my extended family came out, though I can't say who it is, or when it happened, as not everyone knows yet, and might not know for a long time, though several key people now do. I'm very proud of this person, and will love them forever.
Bad news. We had a flat tire today. $600.00 for new tires. DJ, the best manager I've ever had, was fired. I'm now 2nd to only Bryan in the amount of time, currently employed by Hollywood. I don't see myself staying there after this. I've already put in a change in my availability to only Sunday nights, and I'll start looking for work, and possibly pick up some slack working for Mark. I just don't want to work there anymore. The politics and backstabbing have reached a new low, and while I've enjoyed my time at Hollywood for the most part, that has been on the decline for some time now (as my close friends can attest). I don't care if I have to work at Kroger or Blockbuster or whatever...I fucking want out. I can't imagine enjoying another job as much as I've enjoyed this one, but the fun times have soured in the last year or so, and I know I'm not the only one that feels that way.
I'm tired. I'm slightly depressed. I'm very angry. And I'm a lot confused. I'm tempted to wander up to Aut Bar, but I'm not convinced that I'd enjoy talking to anyone so what's the point?
posted by Bald Jason at 12:37 AM
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I did end up wandering up to Aut Bar...very slowly. I didn't get there until after 1am. But I saw some bar friends (Keith, Patrick, Michael, Robert & Redcloud) and made a new one (Richard), whom I'd met a few years before, but not in such detail. It was a nice distraction from my shock. Still shocked that DJ's gone from Hollywood. It's just not Hollywood without him. Or should I say that its just Hollywood without him, as I feel he mostly kept the corporate shitheads at bay. Oh well.
After I got home, I chatted and cuddled with Mark some more. We had watched "Meet the Robinsons" on Wednesday. While out and about I picked up a copy of "The Last Unicorn", which I started watching, and then paused while I tumbled into sleep.
I've been awake for a few hours now but haven't really accomplished anything. Though I did see the trailer for "MILK", which I'm greatly anticipating. It's definitely the highest profile GLBT movie since Brokeback Mountain.
posted by Bald Jason at 01:24 PM
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I'm doing laundry (still). Mark is watching a movie, "Doomsday". I read the new issues of Buffy & Angel today. Buffy is almost always fantastic, while Angel is often so...odd as to be rendered incomprehensible; the art is weird; I have a hard time telling who's who at times, and the dialogue often doesn't sound like the characters. Buffy was less than satisfying though, as it's Part III of IV and didn't provide any of the answers I was looking for. If I had any self control I'd wait for the graphic novels every few months just so I could read the series without the gaps. Oh Well.
So for those of you who don't remember (or missed) the Preston drama, you can now CLICK HERE to read about this mid-July - early-August blip on the map of my life. Everyone caught up? Good.
So I saw that Preston was online on AIM & Yahoo, so I left him a hello, and said that I hoped he was well. That's it. A polite hello and a well wishing. And what did I get for that? Well no response there, but he later called 5 times, and didn't leave a message. This worried me, as I thought maybe he was in trouble or something, so I gave him a call back, he answered, said "Hey" and then hung up on me. Then a few minutes later he called back and hung up before my phone had even completed ringing. I picture him doing this in front of his friends, laughing, like what he's done is so cool, when all he did was slightly amuse a guy who actually cared about him. He's obviously still completely insane. I thought maybe it was just a phase that was heightened by his then heavy drug use. Oh well. No one can say I didn't try. People are scary.
I read some more of my Titan book, which continues to entertain. I think it's the best of the 3 I've read so far. They've actually gotten better with each volume, which is great. I've decided I'm skipping the political Trek book all together at the moment. I know a lot of folks really love it, but politics in general bore me to tears, or disgust me, and I'm pretty sure I'm getting enough background on the political figures in the books I've been reading. I can always read it later, with the "A Time To..." series, which I also skipped. I've now heard that the trilogy I've been preparing for will have elements of the New Frontier series, which I love, but haven't finished. Once I'm done with the books I planned to read first (4 more to go) I might read some New Frontier if I have the time. ;-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 10:23 PM
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Friday, September 5, 2008
It's come to my attention that I'm a rather slow reader, unless I'm reading a new Harry Potter book, in which case I read very, very quickly for fear of being spoiled. Yet I enjoy reading, slow as I am. lol.
24 days until Sarah Jane!
I just saw a manip of Elijah Wood in which his 'wood' was surprisingly large. I'd post it here, but as I don't own it, I can't. lol
Mollie should skip this next paragraph as it may kill her with illness or giggles - and force her to leave violent commentary on this blog. lol
My Trek book continues to surprise. I just read a loving moment between Riker & Troi, that bordered on erotic, without making me want to retch, and I'd say it's because the actors involved in such scenes aren't on display in the book, but I picture them that way, so they kind of are. All I know, is that I'm gay and at this point I actually want to fuck councilor Troi (we don't call her councilor botox unless she's being forced to pretend she's 10 years younger than she actually is in a travesty of a finale for Enterprise - here she's acting her proper age and is all the hotter for it). Still not excited about Riker though. If it helps, there are at least 3 gay crewmembers, and I'm cheering for all of them as well. :-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 02:05 AM
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I'm reading all kinds of fun info and rumors about upcoming Whoniverse episodes. It makes me smile. We're not getting as many episodes between now and 2010, but what we are getting sounds great so far. Hope it's awesome! It's gonna be hell collecting all those Sarah Jane episodes and not sending them to Mollie until I have them all in December. She'll probably watch them on YouTube though, despite the lack of quality there. Ooh...and I read somewhere that we'll be getting lots of Ianto goodness in the 5 Torchwood episodes this season, but lots of people are saying these 5 episodes are the end of the show, which is coming from people who wouldn't know, so I'm assuming they're just speculating...badly.
As far as I can tell, we'll be getting 23 or 24 episodes in Season 31 of the Whoniverse. That's 12 Sarah Jane episodes, 5 Torchwood episodes, at least 6 Doctor Who episodes, with a possible mini-episode for the Doctor to bring the total up to 24. And we'll be getting at least 14 episodes (of Who) in Season 32 - with an unknown # of Torchwood and Sarah Jane episodes. Even if Sarah Jane & Torchwood were to end their runs, Doctor Who seems set to continue for years to come.
I'm tired, but not sleepy. Blah.
Of the New Who characters (not including the Doctor), Jack has made the most appearaces (40 Episodes), Rose Tyler comes in 2nd with (34 Episodes), Gwen Cooper & Ianto Jones tie for 3rd (with 28 episodes each), Tosh comes in 4th (with 27 episodes), & Owen Harper (the only Torchwood main character to never appear in Who) comes in 5th place (with 26 episodes). If this were a top 10 the list would go like this:
10 Maria Jackson (11 Episodes)
09 Luke Smith (13 Episodes)
08 Jackie Tyler (14 Episodes)
07 Donna / Mickey (15 Episodes)
06 Martha Jones (22 Episodes)
05 Owen Harper (26 Episodes)
04 Toshiko "Tosh" Sato (27 Episodes)
03 Gwen / Ianto (28 Episodes)
02 Rose Tyler (34 Episodes)
01 Jack Harkness (40 Episodes)
posted by Bald Jason at 02:38 AM
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I'm awake now. That's the name of a Goo Goo Dolls song. DJ loves the Goo Goo Dolls. I don't want to go to work. The thought of going in on a Friday, on which he would have worked and been smiling, and given me a hug (he was always doing that) just kind of kills me now.
*is depressed*
posted by Bald Jason at 11:10 AM
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After I got up and around, showered, shaved, set up a ride to work, Bryan called to let me know Dennis was going to be in the store today. Dennis fired DJ. I'm not going into work, which helps them with labor, and helps me not say something I want to say to Dennis and get fired.
Feeling more depressed I called my Grandmother. I don't talk about her a lot here, but I try to call every week and see how she's doing. She had an Endoscopy yesterday. I spoke to her last night and she seemed tired; if I'd had known about the procedure, I'd have walked up to the hospital to be there for her, but she doesn't like to worry me. They found she had an ulcer. I called today to check up on her, and I guess I just missed Janice (who I'd called just before calling Grandma), and Grandma sounds lots better and that made me smile... And then I asked about Jamie, my younger sister, who's been cruel to me for over a year now with no explanation... I always ask my Grandmother & family how she's doing, because I can't stop caring about her even though she's been a total bitch to me... And she told me that my little sister got married on Saturday, and I was the only member of the family not invited. Janice, my grandparents, my parents, they were all there. I'm sure no one told me in advance because they didn't want to hurt me... And now I'm crying again, because of her. I've asked her why she treats me this way, and the only answer I got from her was "Because you're you." - like - what the fuck does that mean? None of my family members understand it either. And there's this little voice at the back of my head, that says they must not care about me either, because they don't question her actions towards me directly. I had the car all weekend, and could have made it to her wedding...but instead I was home, alone.
posted by Bald Jason at 12:36 PM
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I talked to my sister Janice on the phone for about an hour and I feel a lot better. She always helps me feel better about the Jamie situation. I still feel weird about my job, job hunting, all of that... When I got hired at Hollywood the job market wasn't that great, and now it's worse. But I'll be ok for now, and there's no use worrying about what's to come; that won't help me or anybody else. I also talked with Janice about her troubles, and that helped too. Plus we talked about stuff that we really needed to talk about, or at least stuff that I really had to say, and it went well I think.
posted by Bald Jason at 02:06 PM
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I should get ready. Mark & I are going to Best Buy when he gets home from work, then going to see my Grandma.
That Star Trek trilogy that I've been preparing to read (for like 2 years now), Star Trek: Destiny - well the first volume (which should come out either late this month or next month) has gotten it's first review, and it's a good one. Yay! There is also a good interview with the author David Mack (who I've traded barbs and praise with in the past) here.
posted by Bald Jason at 05:39 PM
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Saturday, September 6, 2008
So Mark & I went to Hollywood after he got home from work on Friday, where we returned our movies, and Mark rented more while I went in back to collect DJ's photographs so I could give them to him. Mike & Bill were back there and they broke the news to me that they're cutting hours beyond what anyone expected, with 1 person opening the store, and 1 person closing the store (as opposed to 2 or 3) between Sunday & Thursday, with 2 closing on Friday & Saturday. This is gonna bite them in the ass in the worst way. Sometimes on Sunday nights, even with 3 of us we get overwhelmed, and often times with 2 of us it's also happened...with 1, it's gonna suck for the closer, and it's going to suck for the customers who have to wait in line. It's pretty horrible. This also means my change in availability will most likely result in me not working at all, unless I work something out with Bryan or something. We'll see.
After that horror, we went to DJ's where I let him know everything that was going on, hung out, made plans for a DJ inclusive AVP session, and got lots of hugs (plus arts & crafts from one of his sons). It was very cool.
After that we visited my Grandparents, and my little sister and new husband were there. Instead of calling her a bitch and giving her the satisfaction of knowing she'd deeply hurt me by not iviting me to her wedding, I simply said "Congratulations Mrs. Scott" and then congratulated her husband and shook his hand, before sitting with Grandma and chatting her up. At first Jamie ignored me and Mark, but later she actually looked at me and spoke to me. And when Jamie & Paul took their leave, I made sure to get a hug from Jamie, and a handshake from Paul, who started talking to me about Doctor Who & Star Trek. After she & Paul left, Grandma smiled as we dicussed Jamie's talk with me; both of us happy that she'd been civil to me for the first time in over a year. It doesn't excuse her past behavior, but perhaps in my taking the high road I've finally prevented this randome and nonsensical war? I'm not holding my breath. But it was nice to be treated like family for once. The visit with Grandma & Grandpa, beyond just the Jamie stuff, went very well. I love them so much, and it was great to sit and talk with them, and have Mark there; they love him too.
We had originally envisioned going out to eat, but I was getting a headache so we came home instead. I was also planning on going to Necto, as several friends of mine were going, but I was tired too. Also, I cut my head shaving earlier, and Mark said it was way worse than I thought so he bandaged it up, and I settled in to finish watching "The Last Unicorn", which has aged very well.
I'll probably read a bit before I sleep, assuming I can get to sleep.
posted by Bald Jason at 01:49 AM
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Ohhh. :-0) I just bought the Torchwood soundtrack from Itunes. It's the score music from the first 2 seasons of the show, and I'm swooning at all the memories...especially "Jack's Love Theme" - the music played near the end of the episode "Captain Jack Harkness". Argh. I love soundtracks, and this one just made my night!!! :-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 02:53 AM
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I slept extremely well. Actually, I woke up all sweaty and irratable as the Central Air was turned up to 75; I turned it down to 70 and went back to sleep to more pleasant dreams. I dreamt that I applied at a bunch of jobs and they all wanted me. I also dreamed about fucking my cousin Michael, which was surprisingly hot; just the position was beyond odd. lol.
I don't want to go downtown as there's a football game on and the minute it breaks out the traffic will be killer!
I set up some stuff for Mollie on my webpage, and updated some other stuff.
I have my Doctor Whoniverse music files playing on random, and it's dreamy. 23 days until Sarah Jane!
posted by Bald Jason at 03:33 PM
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--> New Sarah Jane Adventures Trailer <---
posted by Bald Jason at 04:44 PM
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I ate. And slept as a result; my pills still make me sleepy. I woke up with the phone ringing. I don't remember what I was dreaming about, but I remember being upset that I'd left my ringer on. Actually my phone was almost dead. It was Preston calling. I didn't answer. After the call ended (without leaving a message of course) I clicked on his name, deciding to give his number a silent ring tone so it wouldn't bother me in the future, but the phone rang again and when I was pressing buttons it picked up. I could just here "I Kissed a Girl" which he loves, I was still woozy and didn't know what to do until he said hello, and I said hello back, expecting him to hang up, only he didn't. He asked me to come to Aut Bar because he & his friends are going there and he wants to talk to me about 'stuff'. I told him I might come. I asked him why he called a million times the other night and hung up, but he said something was wrong with his phone, which he just got fixed. I'm not sure I believe him at this point. Most of me wants to just ignore it, but what if he's telling the truth? And it's not like I hadn't considered going to the Aut Bar tonight anyways. Though...I have this shaving accident on my head; this huge scratch on my scalp - it looks like Freddy Kruger gave me the finger. lol Well...I'm probably going to go.
posted by Bald Jason at 09:46 PM
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Sunday, September 7, 2008
I did go to the Aut Bar, and Preston was there, and he was sincere, and everything's ok now. In fact he doesn't remember saying the horrible things that I was told that he said. He's got an apartment now and he's cut way back on the drugs; he looked a lot better.
Jeremy Merklinger was also at the bar and we caught up. I told him all about the drama at work, my happy eating pills, and about my sister and my newly out relative, which he & I had suspected years ago. He told me that he and Danny split up (finally); that he's moved out and is living on his own, in Ann Arbor (on 1st & Anne?), and has done well the last 3 weeks. He still cuts hair. He doesn't work at WRAP anymore, and the Metro Cafe closed down? It was a great visit. Jeremy was the last boy I was in love with, and it was an interesting encounter tonight, as I realized I didn't want to have sex with him. I have very happy memories of fucking him, and us being together, but I doubt we'd ever be together in the form we were before and I don't want to settle. Or...I don't even think that it's that per say, as that we've both moved on, and what we had was perfect for the time, and I don't regret it at all...and it's of the past. Still, it's always fantastic to see him.
The only weird part of seeing Jeremy was when he told me lurid details about my cousin Jeremy, whom this Jeremy had slept with - all kinds of details that I had no need to ever know! Ugh. lol. Jeremy also told me that he had met Preston before online a few years before and that Preston had lied about his age, but that they ended up not hooking up anyways.
After the bar, Preston wanted me to see his place so I followed his directions and met him there. It was a nice apartment, that's been kind of trashed, by him and his roomie; a cute lesbian named Chris/Kris(?). Their friend Lucy, that I'd met downtown ages ago, in the Diag, was also there. Preston wanted me to stay the night, and told me that he loved me; that he loved everything he knew about me; that when we were apart that he missed me and spent a lot of time on my website. I told him that it wasn't a good idea. That I have issues, and that he has issues. He talked about how he wanted his life to be complete and I talked to him about how people have to make their lives complete on their own; they can't just couple with someone and look to another person to do it for them. I think I could be a very positive influence in Preston's life. And he's very cute, friendly, and I know from his attack on me that he gives killer head. lol. I just think we'd make much better friends than lovers.
After I left the apartment and it's assorted peeps behind, I went to Kroger, left Mollie a message on her cell, and did some fast shopping. I tried to get an application from Kroger, but they said I have to go online. I came home, told Mark about my night, and came to room to write this. I'll probably take a shower, read, and eat before I eventually sleep.
posted by Bald Jason at 02:11 AM
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I woke up several times this morning, but still felt I slept well. I finally got up around 1pm. I read. I had a slight headache so I ate and read some more, but my headache just got worse. I eventually took some Midrin. My stomach was also feeling weird, but I think it's calming down. Not sure what's going on. I assumed it was just my body being weird, but Mark said he's feeling the same way. My headache is NOT gone, at all, despite the Midrin; that's odd.
I have less than 50 pages left in my book. I'll probably finish it tonight.
I did something today I've been meaning to do for ages. I took the scant few Live Journal entries I had from years ago, and posted them here. I couldn't bring the comments over without a lot of trouble, but it was the entries I wanted anyways. Then I deleted my live journal account. I still have another Live Journal account that was dedicated to slash art, which may still be useful if I get back into that, but the other one, the one I just deleted has been completely replaced with this one.
I think I'm gonna take another midrin (it's been over an hour so that's allowed, per the directions) a hot shower to try to kill this headache. I need to shave anyways, as I work at 7pm.
posted by Bald Jason at 04:36 PM
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That 3rd Midrin plus a hot shower has at least zoned out much of the headache, which I'm very happy about. I need to get ready for work, and eat if I have time. This is the last night that I'm scheduled to close at Hollywood, and might be my last shift if nothing is worked out. Wacky.
posted by Bald Jason at 05:55 PM
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Monday, September 8, 2008
I went into work ontime yesterday...only I was no longer on the schedule!?! The new cog in the machine (aka our new manager) posted a new schedule that didn't include me. I worked a few hours anyways, with Bill & Amanda, and it was like going to a funeral. The death of Hollywood. I took Amanda's 4 hours shift on Tuesday, but besides that I'm work free this week. Bill & Mike are planning on leaving Hollywood by this Saturday. Everyone else is looking for work too. It's a sad state of affairs.
After work I got my grocery money out of the bank, but then didn't get groceries. I came home, read my e-mail, and found a virus on my computer which Mark fixed while I finished my Trek book, which I really enjoyed. I started the final (for now) Titan novel, which I'm also enjoying. I'm currently chatting gay.com as I write this, and listening to Torchwood tunes...with David Bowie begging to "let the children boogie". :-0)
These little moments are fantastic!
posted by Bald Jason at 03:52 AM
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Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Monday mostly sucked.
I had a headache and couldn't sleep, and all kinds of other annoyances. And when I finally felt ok...well...nothing happened. lol. I wanted to hook up with Michael, but he was working; he said he'd get me an application though, and he later invited me to dinner, but I'd just eaten.
I spoke to my sister Janice and my nephew Jordan earlier, which was fun. I feel like I'm bonding more and more with him, which is really cool. I've always loved my sister and her kids, but lately Jordan and I seem to be connecting on a person to person level which isn't something I ever expected, but it's really nice.
Preston called and wanted me to go to Necto but I was watching "The Spiderwick Chronicles" with Mark, which was ok, but not great. Preston called again later, wanting me to come over to his house if I couldn't make it to Necto, but I just felt like staying in...and it felt good to do that. Sometimes when you stay in it feels like you're missing something else, even if you didn't want to go, but tonight I was satisfied to be right where I was.
I watched the new 90210, which didn't impress me. In fact, it kind of did the oposite. It's wasn't all the sex, and swearing and all that - it was just so glam that it was hard to take it seriously. I never loved the original, but I thought I'd give this one a chance...and I just don't think it's for me, despite the cute stars.
Then I watched the first episode of "True Blood", which I didn't expect to like, but I fell in love with it. It's so fucking funny! I'm pretty sure I've guessed a major plot twist, but maybe I'm wrong. I think Mollie might enjoy this one, which I felt compelled to call and tell her half way through the program. We had a nice chat.
20 days until Sarah Jane!
The 4th Titan book is good...but I'm not sure I'm enjoying as much as the last one. It's very kind of...smaller scale & it's oddly paced, but I'm trying to go with the flow, and I'm enjoying it...it's just very different than what what's come before. Once I'm through with this book I'll be all caught up on the Titan books. Then I've 1 Enterprise book to read, and 1 Next Generation book. If I had the time, I'd also read 3 I.K.S. Gorkon books, and a half dozen New Frontier books, but I'm hoping those are less important than the others, and that I can catch up with those later. Still, about 2 years ago, my Trek book shelf was packed with books I'd never read, but now I've read more than half of them, and I've added new books almost every month! So I'm accomplishing a long term goal. Go me!
So, I'm looking for work today, and somehow I'm covering a shift later. I wonder if it will be my last? I keep thinking about that and it's sad...but the magic is gone. Mark wants me to stick it out...but it feels like it's already over, you know? My job was cool because of the people that I worked with, and for the most part, that's all over now.
posted by Bald Jason at 02:19 AM
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Wednesday, September 10, 2008
I'm done working at Hollywood Video. It's sad because I really enjoyed that job, but the Hollywood that I enjoyed so much is probably gone forever. DJ was fired. Bryan & John put in their 2 week notices. Mike's last night was last night. Bill's last night is on Saturday. And I guess my last shift was yesterday as well. It's not just that DJ was fired and that I love him. That's not why so many people are jumping ship. It's the corporate cogs that are dragging Hollywood Video down into the muck. It's disgusting. The new policies are stupid, deceptive (to the public), offensive (to anyone with a brain), and I can't work in a place that has so little respect for both it's employees and the community that it serves. I can't. I won't.
posted by Bald Jason at 01:05 AM
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So...there are 2 new DS9 books coming out next year. The first of which is called "The Soul Key" (for now anyways) and is a direct followup on the last volume in the DS9 Relaunch, which means it's a part of Season 9 of DS9.
The 2nd novel is called "The Never Ending Sacrifice", which is also the name of a famous Cardassian novel, within Star Trek, that Garak mentioned on the show. It's just been revealed that this novel: "actually begins in Season 2 of Deep Space Nine, and continues through the current post-TV novels, moving some months beyond Fearful Symmetry and The Soul Key...the decision to begin the story in Season 2 is not a random one, and that readers will learn for the first time what it was like to be on the ground on Cardassia in the years before, during, and after the Klingon invasion, the destruction of the Obsidian Order, the rise of Dukat as Union leader under the Dominion, the Dominion War itself, and the postwar years--all from the perspective of someone who isn't Garak."
That the book isn't from Garak's point of view makes sense, as we've already seen his point of view on many of those events, and he was on DS9 during that time. But this does not preclude him from being part of the post DS9 story in the novel, as Garak IS on Cardassia for that period of time, and I've read previously that Garak is one of the author's favorite characters, which is supported by the fact that the other 2 novels I've read by her heavily featured Garak. Though I have to say that one of these novels I ended up not liking, so I'm slightly nervous about this title. But I'm extremely jazzed about The Soul Key as I loved the book just prior to that one (Fearful Symmetry) which was written by the same author.
posted by Bald Jason at 03:19 PM
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I just updated some Sarah Jane stuff on my website.
And in case you missed it before, I want to see this movie:
It's based on the life of Harvey Milk. I ate in a cafe named after him in San Francisco, "Harvey's". I think Milk was the first openly gay mayor to be elected in the United States, and though he was assassinated, he opened a lot of doors. Sean Penn stars, and James Franco is in the movie as his lover. And I've just read that James Franco is attached to star in "Howl", based on the life of Allen Ginsberg; another famous gay man. Go James! Emile Hirsch is also in the movie, who won me over when he played gay in "The Mudge Boy". :-0)
I should have posted this entry an hour ago, but was distracted by the news, and this article.
posted by Bald Jason at 03:47 PM
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Michael's planning (if he's not too tired) to come over after he gets out of class. Then, if he's not too tired after visiting with me, we might have his roomie Chris over for some AVP.
I rewatched the 4th Season finale of Who. It's so good! It's so packed with continuity, and the ending is so devastating. I love it.
I need to get groceries. And take a shower. Probably not in that order.
posted by Bald Jason at 06:23 PM
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"I know you feel betrayed..."
"Yes, well that's one of the unfortunate side effects of betrayal."
I hear ya, Joss.
I just lost my job & my lover in less than 24 hours. Possibly a friend, or friends.
I'm feeling extremely broken at the moment.
And I was listening to "My Skin" by Natalie Merchant when it all collided. Perfect. My life is a tv show, with a dramatic tv show soundtrack.
What does this all mean? I have no answers.
posted by Bald Jason at 08:52 PM
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Thursday, September 11, 2008
I added a new section to my webpage to cover the 2 collages I've done. The first one was in the bedroom where I came of age. The most recent one is in the bedroom I live in now. I've only posted a few pictures of the new one, and none of the old (I have to scan all of those), but for those who want to see pictures of my collages you can see them here. Bookmark the page, as I'll be updating it soon... Or if you just read my blog all the time, then I'll make a note of the updates here and you can just click over and see them. ;-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 05:35 AM
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I mixed a new cd for myself called -
ZeroSexTearsTwilight
01 Where is Everybody? - Nine Inch Nails
02 Demons - Macy Gray & Fatboy Slim
03 Teardrop - Massive Attack
04 Zero Sum - Nine Inch Nails
05 Hidden Place - Bjork
06 DJ - David Bowie
07 In This Twilight - Nine Inch Nails
08 It Ain't Easy - David Bowie
09 Goodnight Lovers - Depeche Mode
10 People Are Still Having Sex [Edit] - La Tour
11 Where Is Everybody? [Remix] - Nine Inch Nails
12 Demon Teardrops - Macy Gray & Fatboy Slim vs. Massive Attack
13 Tear Zero - Nine Inch Nails vs. Massive Attack
14 Hidden Sum - Nine Inch Nails vs. Bjork
15 DJ Twilight - Nine Inch Nails vs. David Bowie
16 Easy Twilight - Nine Inch Nails vs. David Bowie
17 Where Lovers Have Sex - Nine Inch Nails vs. Depeche Mode vs. La Tour
I might give copies to my friends. I like the flow of it, and it feels the way I feel at the moment. Been listening to it on repeat. I wrote a poem to go with the cd, which is dedicated to Michael.ZeroSexTearsTwilight
We saw the lies
We saw the pain
For so long pleasure our refrain
But songs must end
For people die
In spite of never knowing why
In spite of all we never know
Wounds will heal
Sky will snow
World will freeze
World will end
Doesn't mean we won't be friends
Doesn't mean we will forget
Doesn't mean we know regret
For we fought hard
As passion swirled
Bombarded by the lies we hurled
Took all inside as our toes curled
In the twilight of our world.Written By Jason Wright
September 11, 2008I'm shivering.
posted by Bald Jason at 03:27 PM
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Thanks to a quirk of UK Television we'll actually be able to see the first 2 episodes of Sarah Jane on Semptember 29th. This means if we get them as soon as they air, there will be 16 days of nothing new between Sarah Jane & Doctor Who...and that the longest we'll go with no Whonvierse episodes between now and Christmas is 18 days, which is how long we have to wait before Sarah Jane starts up. Here's a schedule of when all this airs:
The Sarah Jane Adventures
2x01 The Last Sontaran, Part I
2x02 The Last Sontaran, Part II
Monday, September 292x03 Day of the Clown, Part I
Monday, October 62x04 Day of the Clown, Part II
Monday, October 132x05 Secrets of the Stars, Part I
Monday, October 202x06 Secrets of the Stars, Part II
Monday, October 272x07 The Mark of the Berserker, Part I
Monday, November 32x08 The Mark of the Berserker, Part II
Monday, November 102x09 The Temptation of Sarah Jane Smith, Part I
Monday, November 172x10 The Temptation of Sarah Jane Smith, Part II
Monday, November 242x11 Enemy of the Bane, Part I
Monday, December 12x12 Enemy of the Bane, Part II
Monday, December 8Doctor Who - 2008 Christmas Special
Wednesday, December 24Also, yesterday there was an audio episode of Torchwood broadcast, which can be downloaded here (right click on 'here' then select 'save target as'). The title of this special auido episode of Torchwood is "Lost Souls" and it features Jack, Gwen, Ianto & Martha Jones! It's a nice bit of fun.
posted by Bald Jason at 05:46 PM
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Can I just stand up and say how much I love Matt Damon?
posted by Bald Jason at 06:37 PM
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Friday, September 12, 2008
I woke up hot. I had a dream, in which I was late for work at Hollywood Video. I was pushing myself on little more than a sleed on wheels, through traffic, though I was doing so with some skill. I eventually made back behind the store, where it was obvious the location had become a ghetto. I had to climb a barbed wire fence to get in, and it was very late; dark. There was a drive through McDonalds that was little more than a gate with a security guard inside, and I considered stopping for a snack but hurried into work instead...and then I woke up feeling feverish.
I stumbled downstairs and got a cold cherry pepsi from the fridge. I haven't been drinking them, because they sometimes upset my stomach, but I didn't care at this point. I wanted something cold. It did the trick. It brought me out of the dream, back to waking world. I took some prilosec and reglan just to be safe with the stomach trouble.
I read about 100 pages of my book last night. I have about 140 left I think. The book is itelf, like an odd dream. I don't like it as much as the last 2, and I'm eager to finish this one, and read the latest Next Generation volume.
posted by Bald Jason at 07:04 AM
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34 years & 1 month old today.
Ooh. I just read there's a 1-off Torchwood / Doctor Who Children in Need special in the works. This is news to me, as I'd heard they weren't doing one this year, and if it's true that's just fab. That's 1 more episode of Who / Torchwood, and we seriously don't have enough of those running around at the moment. The Children in Need Telethon has hosted 2 recent mini-episodes of Who, and I believe the they usually air in November (I just checked and this year's program is on Friday, November 14). This may explain the comment that though there are only 5 episodes of Torchwood next season, there may be more episodes - which has always struck me as odd - like why & how would they come back to film an extra episode or two without some MAJOR plans being cooked up? Anyways - It looks like we may be getting 14 more adventures this year after all...24 (or possibly 25) episodes in Season 31 of the Whoniverse. These episodes would include the 12 upcoming episodes of Sarah Jane, Doctor Who's 'Music of the Spheres', 2008 Children in Need, 2008 Who Christmas Special, 4 2009 Who Specials, 5 2009 Torchwood episodes, and a possible 2009 Children in Need Special.
Season 32 of the Whoniverse will feature at least 13 episodes of Doctor Who (in 2010). It's unknown at this time if a 4th series of Torchwood, a 3rd series of Sarah Jane, or any other specials will be greenlit to join the Doctor at that time. But there are also rampant rumors of an upcoming FILM version of the series, which would be fine with me, as long as it's a continuation of the show, and not just an adaptation of the series.
My Wild Cherry Pepsi is now gone.
17 Days until Sarah Jane.
78 Days between The Christmas Special and the Easter Special. Why do these figures get stuck in my brain?
posted by Bald Jason at 07:33 AM
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I watched the first 2 NEW episodes of "The Secret Diary of a Call Girl", with Billie Piper; nice to be entertained by Hannah Belle again. ;-0) Then I updated a bunch of stuff on my site, and got Mark up for work. He wants to (weather permitting) get a picture of us in the park or something this weekend, to give to his parents, who want a photo of me & Mark to put on their wall. They've been really accepting of me in the last year or so. It just took about 13 years to wear them down. lol
And I finally finished watching 'Gay Sex in the 70s', which I've been watching in spurts (no pun intended), since I bought it last year. I don't know why I never devoted the time to watch it in one sitting, except that maybe it was slightly painful to see so much joy given life, when I knew it was about to be snuffed out. It was very informative though.
posted by Bald Jason at 09:41 AM
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Ooh. Also, various rumors are circulating, that the 8th Doctor might return in flashback during one of the specials next year - a flashback to the Time War, which the 8th Doctor fought in. It was hinted in the first episode of the new series ("Rose"), that the Doctor had recently regenerated. I would pretend to kill, to see the 8th Doctor, in the Time War, regenerating into the 9th Doctor!!! ;-0)
111 pages left in my book.
I spoke to my sister Janice on the phone about her crazy week. I love her.
I need to get some more sleep, but it's just not happening. I think the neighbors have their heat on or something.
posted by Bald Jason at 11:17 AM
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I did eventually sleep, but it was kind of hit or miss, and when I did wake up for good, it felt like it took a long time to come out of it, which is never a good sign in my opinion. I should scan pictures, or clean, or something. I should read.
I feel isolated.
posted by Bald Jason at 04:15 PM
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I cleaned up the kitchen, and did the remaining dishes (including some I found in Mark's room). I got a lot of stuff cleaned in the kitchen that I didn't realize was dirty; it was kind of dusgusting. And I killed 2 spiders. We have a lot of spiders here; not very scary ones. All the homes around here do. I think it's because we live so near the water, that there are just lots of insects, which is what spiders eat, so there you go. lol They don't bother me when they're outside, but I don't like having them indoors. Though there was a spider that lived in our doorway for awhile that I actually grew attached to; Mollie named him Herman. It felt like he was guarding our home from bugs, and he knew not to come inside. I think the landscape people killed him, because one day after they were here his web was completely torn away and he was gone forever.
I have some laundry I could do...
posted by Bald Jason at 04:45 PM
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I started my laundry, sorted some recyclabels, bagged up the trash, and did some spot cleaning downstairs...and something inside me just sort of snapped into place.
I've been kind of down the last few days, what with the losing my favorite job to a bunch of lying corporate asses... and on top of all that I found out I was lied to about something by Michael, my ex, and up until then, lover. Only I think I know what's bothering me so much about it, and it's probably a good thing for all involved that this all happened...
See. Michael and I started dating back in November, and that lasted until March. 4 months. He was in many ways, a fantastic boyfriend; in many of the most important ways... but something just wasn't clicking. I wasn't in love with him. I knew this because I've been in love before and while what we had was nice, and I would have continued it, I had the strong impression that he was falling in love with me, which turned out to be true; he was planning on telling me, but then I broke up with him.
But I broke up with him, not because he was mean to me, or did anything wrong - but because I thought I might end up hurting him more later on if I wasn't honest with him about my feeling in the then-here-and-now. He accepted this, though it hurt for awhile and we continued our friendship...and our sex life, feeling that as long as we were honest with how things were going, we'd be ok. Only we weren't. Honest I mean.
It went well for the next 4 or 5 months. I ended up dating (or something like dating) a boy named Jordan, who is very cool, and very sweet and all that, but his work schedule is so insane that I've only ever seen him a handful of times, which makes dating him problematic. Michael and I continued hanging out, and having sex. Michael began hanging out with this guy Christopher Reynolds, whom I met briefly at a New Year's Eve party that I attended while dating Michael. I asked Michael many times if he was attracted to Chris, as Chris seemed to be in love with him, but Michael always said he wasn't attracted to him at all. I just wanted to know because if Michael was interested in Chris I wanted to back off, so as not to feel...jilted. lol. For lack of a better word.
Things got more complicated when Chris confided in me that he was in love with Michael, and it became apparent that he didn't know that Michael and I were still sleeping together. I told Michael that if we were to continue sleeping together that he had to tell Chris the truth, because covering for Michael was (and felt) very dishonest, and was now putting me in a difficult position. Michael told Chris. Chris accepted this. He later told me that he was attracted to me too, which he assumed that Michael had told me, only he never had. Chris expressed interest in a 3some, that would have been fine with me actually, if Chris didn't seem to be in love with Michael, which just made me feel like it would have to hurt him on some level, as Michael had told me that he wasn't attracted to Chris at all and I figured that was bound to come out in a 3 way setting. It was just...uncomfortable for awhile.
Oh. About this time, it came to light that Chris, who apparently has some money, was spending a lot of cash on Michael. I knew this somewhat, but didn't really catch on to it until one of them asked me (I can't remember which one was which in this part) if I'd used an assumed screen name or e-mail address to tell (it must have been Michael that asked me) Chris that Michel was using him for his money. This struck me as rather insulting (both to me, and to them), but oddly funny, so I mostly just let it slide. I did start noticing though that Chris was spending a lot of money on Michael, which worried me, as I knew that Chris had very deep feelings for Michael, and I'd been told by Michael that Chris wasn't an option for him - in fact he often told me stories about Chris hitting on him in private and making sexual references - and shooting those options down. I think the stories were told to impress me, or to make me feel safer or something, but they always made me feel sad for Chris.
Anyways. Michael moved in with Chris; they got a place together. Chris chatted with me again, telling me that he was unpacking all of Michael's stuff, as he wasn't doing it, which struck me as odd. Then Michael told me he got a new computer, which shortly thereafter, Chris told me he bought it for Michael (that was this week actually). I told Chris that I liked him, and that it worried me that he spent so much money on Michael, when Michael had made it more than obvious to him that he wasn't interested. Chris then told me that Michael had never said any such thing, and that Michael had said that they could go on some dates!?! This was after hearing Michael deny there was anything between them; the last time he said this was after they had gone away together, to a hotel, for the weekend. lol. I mean, I should have known...but I didn't, and that hurt.
We were all supposed to hang out that night, and I cancelled the plans and had an angry conversation with Michael, in which he backpeddled and tried to make everything ok, and acted as though he were the injured party. ["I'm sorry; did my back hurt your knife?" - Friends] And it sucked even more, on a very shallow side, because Michael and I had planned to hook up that night. Physically. lol. And to lose that right before I was going to have it was very disappointing.
But there's a bright side. And a kind of synergy here that I hadn't considered. And now that I see it, it actually amuses me a great deal. I like symbolism and synergy, though I seldom if ever see that kind of thing in real life.
Ok. So in the back of my mind for the last few months I've been considering getting back together with Michael. I mean, it never really felt like we'd stopped seeing each other anyways. And he had proven that he was bigger than a lot of other guys would or could be, and I was starting to think that maybe I was insane to let him go, and the only 2 reasons I hadn't said anything, was that I wanted Chris to have some time to get over the fact that nothing was going to happen, and I wanted to be really sure, so that when I spoke to Michael again, I could tell him I love him. Because I do love Michael, and I don't see that ever changing and that's a beautiful thing. He made me feel safe and loved and he was awesome. lol
I'm laughing right now. I don't know why I'm laughing. But it all just seems so perfect.
Anyways... So either Michael was lying to me about his feelings for Chris (which would be the best thing in my opinion), or he was lying to Chris (which would suck beyond the telling of it). If he was lying to me, because he felt uncomfortable telling me these things, I can understand and forgive that, because I've had to tell these kinds of things to partners and it's never easy...and Michael is young and not as experienced as I am. If he was lying to me, then you know, part of me was lying too, because I wasn't telling him all that I was feeling, and there is a balance in that. And my ego (I do have one) kind of likes the idea of him lying to me to keep sleeping with me, because even though the lie is painful, it's also very flattering. But if he was lying to Chris this whole time, it gets a lot messier. Because why would he lie to Chris, unless he's trying to spare his feelings (which Michael doesn't usually do), or does it really have something to do with the money that Chris spends on him on a constant basis? I choose to think that if he is lying to Chris, then it's not about the money, so much as the feel of someone loving him, and caring enough to spend that kind of money on him - you know? It's not the money itself, it's the reason the money is being spent. Anything else is just too ugly to contemplate, and knowing Michael as I like to think that I do, my mind rejects such base notions.
Now...the sad beauty of this, is that this all settles something that was going on in my mind before all this erupted. Michael really isn't the boy for me. And this revelation came right before I was going to claim that he might be (just like Michael was going to tell me he loved me, and then I ruined that by breaking up with him); it's very balanced. But it's not just that. I mean, I know that I can forgive him for whatever it is that he's done, because he's demontrated more than once, that he deserves to be forgiven; nothing that he's done can outweigh all the wonderfullness he's given me. Michael is a very good friend. I have another very close friend, who lies to me every so often, and I love him more than anyone else in the world. So...why not Michael? People lie. They just do. I do.
This of course means that I need to stop sleeping with Michael, which is gonna suck, because we're very good in that capactiy. Seriously. Very good. lol.
This also means that I can start really looking for a boyfriend. Or if not look for one, that I'm ok with having one, as I was about to propose such a thing to Michael. Which also feels right (and like a weight has been lifted). Like the time has come and all that. I might not actually find anyone...but I'm ready if it happens.
And this makes the Chris/Michael thing a lot less complicated from where I'm sitting, because now if they hook up and live happily ever after, more power to them. And whatever truths or lies they spill to one another won't have me in the middle of them, which has got to be better for everyone involved. Of course, until this week I never really considered them as a couple, but now that I have all the facts, or something resembling facts, I think they'd be great together, as long as they truly dig each other.
And hopefully we'll be able to salvage a friendship out of all this. That's what I want. But that's not completely up to me, so I'll just put the word out about where I'm at, and what I'm feeling, and time will have to sort the rest out. But this feels kind of great. Sort of terrible (change always feels terrible to me), but great. Great in that it seems to flow...like it solves a lot of problems. At least that's how it feels.
"I'm sorry; was I raving?" - Exorcist III
About the job thing. I'm almost glad that it happened. Don't get me wrong. I loved working at Hollwood Video, and I worked with the best crew, and with some of the best customers... But I don't NEED a job to survive at the moment. And I kind of feel like I need time to decide where I'm going next. I mean, jobs are great, but I tend to buy into whatever job I have and forget to look at the big picture of my life, and I'm afraid of doing that. I mean, I've got the boy thing sorted (to a degree), but the rest of my life is kind of blurry. There is so much I'd like to get done - just little things like spots on my website, and my collage and things... And there's big stuff too. I've never been to college. And I want to go. I've always been afraid to go; afraid that I'd fail. And I'm very directionless; I have no idea what I want to study or why...and that's always felt kind of like a character flaw to me, but maybe it's just the way I am, and I have to dive into the school thing to find out what I want? I don't know. That's one of the big questions I need to figure out... There's so much rattling inside my head, and I need to sort some of that out, and maybe this time isn't such a bad thing after all, in the bigger picture sense. I just have to use it, instead of letting it use me.
And another thing. I've been taking my eating for granted. After 7 years of hell, I've already started taking eating for granted. And while that almost seems like a good thing, I don't want to do that. Every meal that stays inside me should be a reason to celebrate! lol. I know that there are many other people that aren't that lucky. I'm actually a very, very lucky guy. And I need to acknowledge that, and thank everyone who has stuck by me, and given me every chance to get to this place.
posted by Bald Jason at 05:44 PM
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Shaved & Showered. Feeling good. I'd see about talking to Michael about all this, but I'm pretty sure he's away for the weekend, for his mother's wedding. I texted him, let him know I forgive him, I miss him, and to wish his mom congrats from me. ;-0)
Now if only Mark could get home so I could hug him. Mark's been down lately too, and suggests that it's even worse than what I've been feeling, which is probably true after today. That's part of why I cleaned the kitchen up and stuff; he likes it when I do that. ;-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 06:17 PM
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I rewatched "Prom Queen". Mark is home now, and we've done the hugging thing. I'm in a good mood. I might go to Necto or something. Or I might stay in and read. I can't believe it's Friday.
Oh, and my mom called me earlier, which she rarely does, to invite me to my little sister's reception, as we're apparently on good terms again. ;-0) Cool. She also let slip that the credit union, which owns the building that Hollywood is housed in, wants the building back, and is getting rid of Hollywood - I so hope that's true. I'd rather Hollywood lose the whole thing than let it go on in the form it's taking now!
posted by Bald Jason at 09:22 PM
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Saturday, September 13, 2008
I went into Hollywood Video around 10pm (Friday Night), to turn in my official resignation, which says:
Hollywood Video
2360 Stadium Blvd.
Ann Arbor, MI 48103ATTENTION: Store Manager
David,
This is my official two-weeks notice. Unfortunately, I can't be scheduled in that time thanks to the new Hollywood rules. I truly loved working at Hollywood Video for over six years but the company is changing in such a way that I find it impossible to continue working in such an environment. I wish it didn't have to end this way but there are no other options open to me.
Sincerely,
Jason Wright
----------------------When I got there, there was this woman there named Michelle, who used to rent movies from Hollywood all the time; we used to talk and joke. Well, she became a Hollywood employee a while back, and even thanked me for inspiring her to work there...only she's now the assisstant manager of my store! She was all excited to work with me, only I handed her my resignation. And when I did that, I found out that all but 2 of my coworkers have quit!
A few weeks ago the lineup was:
Jeff
Alex
Jason (me)
Pat
Bill
Michael
Jonathan
Laura
Amanda
Brad
DJ
& BryanOf all those people, only Jeff & Alex remain. Jeff is retarded and will probably cause more havok than not. It's crazy!
Anyways, Michelle is really cool; really funny. She & I, and Bill (who's last day is tomorrow, I think) chatted for about a half an hour. It was a good time. And I sincerely hope things work out for her. She said that if she gets to be the manager of that store that she will call me to work for her...but I'm not sure I could work there again. We'll see. It's all very strange.
I stopped at Aut Bar on my way home. When I made it home, through the rain, I changed my clothes and went to Necto. I saw some friends Nick & Ben (who are roomies) - and Perris, and made new friends, James, Jordan & his roomie Caleb. I made out with Caleb for a good portion of the night; cute, hot, 19. I hung out with them after the bar for as long as I could, came home, had a snack and wrote this.
Mark & I are having our picture taken later today, and I have to go to my little sister's wedding reception at 4:40pm. Out Fest is tomorrow night. Oh, and my online friend Paul is in town this weekend. We'll see what's up with that; maybe I'll get to meet him.
posted by Bald Jason at 03:13 AM
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I just got out of the shower; getting ready for Jamie & Paul's reception. Hopefully that goes well. Mark & I aren't taking pictures in the park on account of the weather; it's raining, and supposed to continue in this fashion until Tuesday. We're gonna try to take pictures in my room later; possibly tomorrow, as I do want to check out OutFest. We'll see.
I have about 50 pages left in my book, and I'd be very happy to have this one finished. It had some great moments, but too few of them in my opinion. The next book looks awesome, as does the one after it. ;-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 04:03 PM
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Sunday, September 14, 2008
So, Mark got those pictures of us taken. The taking of them took place during my optimum window of attending Out Fest, and after we were finished, I just didn't feel up to braving the crowds...which is fine with me, actually. I'm feeling kind of...like I need a break. I'm not exhausted, but I feel like being alone for a little while, and getting everything in order. I can't really describe it (apparently). But I'm where I need to be, and that's good. ;-0)
I have a song from the Shortbus soundtrack stuck in my head, which makes me think that it might be time to watch it again.
Oh. And I keep thinking of all these cool movies that I think my nephew would enjoy, but I don't think his mom would let him watch them, which sucks.
posted by Bald Jason at 01:21 AM
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I chatted online with my online friend, who was supposed to be in Ann Arbor this weekend, only he's not; he's home with a cold, and with much work to do. Oh well. I'll most likely meet him someday soon.
I also chatted with Preston, who was doing really well a few weeks ago, having found a place to live. But apparently, he was staying with this girl, which I thought was legit, but her dad found out and kicked Preston out, so now he's back with his folks, which is NOT a good thing.
Before chatting with these guys I rewatched the gay favorite "Get Real", which I think would be relevent to a young friend of mine if only his mum would let him watch it... not much luck for that happening though.
After chatting up the blokes, I had a snack, and I finished the final (for now) Titan book. Now I'm about to start reading the final (for now) Next Generation book; it's called 'Greater Than The Sum', and I've been aching to read it for weeks, so it's nice that I'm finally ready for that.
15 days until Sarah Jane. :-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 04:38 AM
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I'm still awake. I have no explanation for this. I read the first 57 pages of my new Trek book, but that was at least an hour ago. It's really good so far; lots of continuity, and it's covering all the bases, getting it all right as far as I can tell. But in this state, perhaps I'm wrong. lol
posted by Bald Jason at 08:27 AM
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I don't know when I finally passed out, but it was late this morning. I slept well. It was raining, and I love to sleep when it's raining. I like rain a lot actually.
I didn't return to Milan as I had intended to do. Mark took a lot of the fun of that idea and drowned in expensive gasoline. I was going to pick up a birthday gift from my mom, and a computer from my aunt & uncle, but Mark also ruled out the computer being that effective for us, which means, 1 of my reasons for using the said expensive gas was also gutted. I was looking forward to going, but the baloon was deflated...and I still feel slightly bruised.
I'm enjoy my Next Generation book though. I'm just under half way through it. Go me!
posted by Bald Jason at 08:07 PM
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Monday, September 15, 2008
Film makes me vulnerable...
that's what it does...
and I am grateful.So many ideas
thoughts
whispers
emotions...Movies used to keep me alive.
posted by Bald Jason at 12:17 AM
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posted by Bald Jason at 02:37 AM
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Oh. Before all this introspection and recrimination...I got to talk to Mollie on the phone and laughed and laughed. It was so good to chat with her. ;-)
'Concentrate on the positive, Jason'
posted by Bald Jason at 02:37 AM
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posted by Bald Jason at 10:24 AM
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posted by Bald Jason at 10:28 AM
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I just finished the book I started Saturday night. Wow. Just...Wow. 1 more book to go and I'll be ready for "Destiny". It can't come soon enough. ;-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 11:14 AM
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14 days until Sarah Jane! Two Weeks to go!
Oh. And the upcoming "The Thing" remake that once announced, annoyed the hell out of me...is not a remake, but a prequel, which actually interests me; hopefully it won't suck.
posted by Bald Jason at 01:31 PM
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Tuesday, September 16, 2008
I traded some e-mails with my nephew Jordan yesterday, which was cool. He wanted to chat on facebook, but I didn't get his message in time; maybe we'll chat today.
It feels disturbingly warm in my room. Damned neighbors.
My stomach gave me a little bit of trouble yesterday, but it had mostly cleared up by the time Mark got home from work, with pizza. After eating, and watching an episode of Next Generation, we went to Hillards to get bottled water. Michael was there, though I didn't expect him to be; he works there. I had brought a contact lense case, just in case we did run into him, as I'm pretty sure his friend Erica left them at our house, and I let him know that Torchwood Season 2 should be arriving on dvd this Thursday. Well, to say that he was frosty was a bit of an understatement. I asked about the wedding, and why he was working, and he answered both questions, but I'm not certain he would have spoken to me if he hadn't been behind the counter. It me kind of hard, though I sort of laughed it off with Mark. Less than a week ago I was thinking I'd be probably be back with Michael soon, and now...well, it's like he hates me or something...for telling the truth, which both hurts and revolts me. Especially since I'd sent him a text telling him I forgave him. And I do. I mean, except for this one, admittedly traitorous thing, he's been sort of wonderful, and I don't want or need to hold a grudge with him. Especially since the damage that was done has been more significant than even he realizes; at least on my end. It's just making things worse...when I'd just like to put the whole thing behind us, and be friends, if not lovers.
We went to Meijer too, where we got almost everything we needed, and then home. I got ready to go to Necto, and went, though I was extremely tired. I did manage to have fun, and met some really cool people, Corrine(??? Who Rocked ???), Paul, Ashley, & Edie. Edie was on her own, 31 and a huge Cure fan. The other 3 all came and left together, and were a riot. Adam (straight, often shirtless, friends with Pat & Liz) was there, with another gay named Donny, who got a bite on the neck from me at his request, and then insisted on my phone number. There was also a boy there, who I want to say was also named Adam, who I'd see with Jesse on Friday - we talked for quite a bit in the mens room. Rob Ward was there as well. Dwayne too. Lots of familiar faces. And a cute drunk boy named Michael (I think) who said he recognized me from Hollywood Video, and I had to explain that I don't work there anymore. It's still shocking for me.
I left early enough not to hear Yoda shouting to the crowd, or at least not as often as he has in recent visits. I came home, and I fell asleep almost instantly. I was just exhausted. I woke up a little after six, took one of my pills, and drank some Wild Cherry Pepsi, which is becoming a staple of mine of late. I just wake up with this craving for it...and I can't believe I already drank it! So amazing to be able to drink this stuff again, even if it's not that great for me. ;-0)
So that was my night.
Oh. And I started the latest Star Trek Enterprise novel. ;-0)
Today is my friend Paul's 34th Birthday. I don't think that I've spoken to him this year, or if I had it was only in brief. He wanted me to make copies of Doctor Who for him; like ALL of Doctor Who, but I just didn't have the enery or the resources to do so. I think he was very disappointed by this. I hope he has a fantastic birthday though. ;-0)
13 Days Until Sarah Jane!!!!
posted by Bald Jason at 07:21 AM
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I stayed up. I worked on my website, updating Michael's dedication page with all the photos I have of him that I can display there, and posting the latest poetry, which required me to update other sections as well. It turned out nicely I think. I still have to write something up on the page itself, and I still might do that today, though I'm in no rush.
While I was doing that, I got Mark up for work, he showered and left. Before he left he told me he woke up with Dr. Horrible songs stuck in his head, as I was listening to them in the car last night. lol
posted by Bald Jason at 09:51 AM
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I slept well today, having fantastic dreams. I dreamt about roaming the countryside near my parents' home, but instead of the fairly small country estate it became this massive mountain of adventure. It was very beautiful and calming.
I awoke in time to chat with my nephew Jordan on facebook.
posted by Bald Jason at 05:29 PM
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I scanned some pictures and worked on my webpage. I tried a few different things on my site but didn't really love any of them. Sometimes I work for hours just to end up with nothing to show for it. Oh well.
I think I might skip the new Enterprise book for now. It's not that it's bad, because it's not; it's actually very good. But it follows up on the last book so closely that I kind of want to reread that one first...and rewatch the series. The parts that lead into Destiny can be a surprise for later, as you're supposed to be able to read the new trilogy without having read any of the other books. I'm not certain what I'll read instead. I'm tempted to read the 5th Harry Potter book, or the next New Frontier novel. I just haven't decided yet.
I e-mailed Michael awhile ago. Hopefully he was just a bit off yesterday and isn't hating me or someting because that would suck, as I'm ready to just move on and be friends.
posted by Bald Jason at 09:45 PM
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Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Politics are depressing. I don't want to get my hopes up, and then get them crushed. That's happened twice, every 4 years now. Ugh. And then the suffering continues throughout that 4 year term. It's just horrible.
posted by Bald Jason at 01:37 AM
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I caught up on 'True Blood' and 'The Closer' and both had terrible cliffhanger episodes!?! Ugh. But before they ended, they both made me laugh a lot, which was very cool. I know the autopsy scene (from 'The Closer') that made me laugh would have made Mollie's night. And 'True Blood' continues to impress. lol
posted by Bald Jason at 06:28 AM
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I slept well today, but I woke up feeling ill. Hopefully that will pass soon enough. Just after the last entry I was also hit over the head with a migrain that dragged me, head first, through a field of broken glass and pitchforks. It was so painful, and usually before I passout I can feel my meds taking effect, but this time I there was just pain and then sleep.
While I was waiting for the pain to subside I started a new book. Now reading doesn't usually help with migrains, but laying in the dark didn't help either and I was desperate to distract myself, and for awhile it actually worked, before my brain exploded into little pieces of pain. I started reading the next (for me) New Frontier book, which has already welcomed me back into the fold. I love these books. To me they're like a spin-off of Trek & Firefly. They have a lot of characters and references from Trek, but the feel of them is total Firefly. Except there aren't any aliens in Firefly, and New Frontier is packed with them. Still...they are a pure joy to read, and I'm glad that I still have several left to read before I'm caught up. Perhaps I'll be able to read next year's entry when it's new.
The 2nd Season of Torchwood arrived at my door, on DVD today.
posted by Bald Jason at 05:35 PM
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Whoniverse Intallments to air between now and 2010:
The Sarah Jane Adventures
2x01 The Last Sontaran, Part I
2x02 The Last Sontaran, Part II
Monday, September 292x03 Day of the Clown, Part I
Monday, October 62x04 Day of the Clown, Part II
Monday, October 132x05 Secrets of the Stars, Part I
Monday, October 202x06 Secrets of the Stars, Part II
Monday, October 272x07 The Mark of the Berserker, Part I
Monday, November 32x08 The Mark of the Berserker, Part II
Monday, November 10Children in Need mini-episode
Doctor Who / Torchwood crossover
Friday, November 14The Sarah Jane Adventures
2x09 The Temptation of Sarah Jane Smith, Part I
Monday, November 172x10 The Temptation of Sarah Jane Smith, Part II
Monday, November 242x11 Enemy of the Bane, Part I
Monday, December 12x12 Enemy of the Bane, Part II
Monday, December 8Doctor Who - 2008 Christmas Special
Wednesday, December 24Doctor Who 2009 Special 01
Easter 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009Torchwood Season 3, Parts I-V
Will air over 1 week, sometime between Easter & August.Doctor Who 2009 Special 02
rumored to air in AugustThe Sarah Jane Adventures
If a 3rd Season were to follow the same pattern of the first 2, then the 3rd Season would air in late September 2009.Doctor Who 2009 Special 03
rumored to air on Halloween
Saturday, October 31, 2009possible Childrien in Need Mini-Episode
November 2009Doctor Who 2009 Special 04
rumored to air on Christmas
Thursday, December 24, 2009
posted by Bald Jason at 06:06 PM
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Thursday, September 18, 2008
I finished the New Frontier book I started just over 24 hours ago ("Being Human"). That's like...extremely fast for me, but it was just so good to be back with those beloved characters. However, it had a cliffhanger ending, which I believe is resolved (and not just delayed - though I could be wrong) in the next volume, which I'm going to attempt to read before the first Destiny book arrives at my door; that one shipped today. Hmm. Reading is good.
posted by Bald Jason at 02:54 AM
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Did I mentione that I'm in love with Brad Pitt? I know that I didn't, because before today that sentence would have implied that I'd ripped the brain from my skull. lol. ;-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 04:29 AM
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HBO has already ordered a 2nd season of "True Blood" Yay!
posted by Bald Jason at 05:55 AM
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I'm over a quarter way through "Gods Above", the new Trek book I'm reading. It's really good, with lots of surprises. I just love these characters.
posted by Bald Jason at 08:16 AM
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I was just under half way through my latest Trek book when I passed out. I slept well again today. I had dreams that had to do with random horror movies, and probably should have scared me, but did not. lol. I'm doing the dishes now, and thinking about taking a shower.
I've watched that opening SNL clip like 10 times this week, and it's still funny!
And finally some good political news.
posted by Bald Jason at 06:03 PM
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Everytime I eat these days I take a pill which, thankfully allows me to keep the food down. The pill does this by making my stomach contract, which it wouldn't do otherwise. Since my body isn't used to this, each time I eat with one of these pills I get extremely tired. I took a break from reading my book (108 pages left), to eat, and when I was done with that I almost instantly fell asleep (save for a short conversation with Mark). I dreamt I was cleaning the kitchen again, only this time the kitchen counter turned into the edge of a giant swimming pool that took up the entire downstairs of our condo. When I woke up from my drug induced nap, it took me a while to realize that there was no pool downstairs...and that any erotic impulses inspired by the dream (don't ask) would have to be set aside, as I'm not currently seeing anyone. lol
posted by Bald Jason at 09:52 PM
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Friday, September 19, 2008
I just did a major update on my collage page. ;-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 12:01 AM
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I just finished reading "Gods Above", but the novel had another cliffhanger ending, so I'm continuing with the next volume (New Frontier #14: Stone & Anvil), which most likely doesn't have such an ending. I mean, I know that the book that follows this one picks up 3 years later, so a cliffhanger would be kind of pointless...at that point. I just checked, and the first of the Destiny trilogy will be arriving today. I can hold off on that to read this one...I think. Damn it! lol. Maybe I should wait and read the Destiny one first; I've only read the first 3 or 4 pages of 'Stone & Anvil'. Or...I can read this one until Destiny arrives...set this one aside to read 'Destiny' and then dive back into this one? I have no idea what I'm gonna end up doing. lol At least I'm suffering from too many good books, instead of not enough of them.
posted by Bald Jason at 04:54 AM
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I decided to wait for the new book to arrive.
10 days until Sarah Jane!
And it's now been revealed that the series 4 sountrack for Doctor Who will be out in November! I must have it! :-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 01:20 PM
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I was looking into student loans and grants, but it's a mind numbing process! I got some info though. Ugh. This sucks.
My book hasn't arrived yet. I want it now! I wasn't that excited about it this morning, but the more I think about it...roar. There's a new review of the book; they give it 10 out of 10. I'm looking forward to reading about Dax and her command, and any references to DS9, though all 4 story threads sound interesting. This is volume 1 of 3, so hopefully I'll enjoy them all. We'll see. If the book ever gets here! lol
I didn't sleep as late as I have been, but I went to bed slightly earlier...couldn't tell you why though.
posted by Bald Jason at 02:35 PM
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My book arrived less than a half hour ago. I've read the prologue and chapter one. I've been reunited with Sisco, O'brien, Jadzia, Kira, Ezri, Sam Bowers and Simon Tarses. It's good to be back. :-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 03:56 PM
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I'm well over a quarter way through 'Gods of Night', and it's an interesting read. The book is split into 4 sections, following 4 different crews, which are usually in 4 separate books. All of them are interesting, but so far it feels like I'm reading 4 different book, and just alternating after I finish a chapter. It's odd, but I'm enjoying it. There is a character named Naomi Darrow, that struck me right away as being based on Naomi Watts who played Anne Darrow in the PJ remake of King Kong. And it seems that it's most likely written by a white guy, as he takes the time to describe someone's skin color, unless they're presumably white. But those are small nitpicks when it's giving me so many characters that I love. ;-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 09:24 PM
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Saturday, September 20, 2008
I'm more than half way through 'Gods of Night'; I have 9 chapters left, out of 22. At first I thought the Next Generation sections were boring, but they've been getting more interesting, and even killed off a recurring Voyager character. They just killed off Janeway in a Next Generation book, which the Voyager fans freaked out about in a big way because it wasn't even in a Voyager book, so I'm wondering if they'll be upset about this too, even though it was handled really well, and the character maybe appeared in 2 episodes. We'll see. The Titan section is really cool & is starting to tie the other sections together, while dealing with a serious Riker/Troi problem that I'm interested in seeing play out; it could get ugly really fast (no Mollie comments, thank you). The 'Enterprise' section is getting rather dark and I wish I could just skip to the end of that one, but that's not a knock against the writing. It feels like it's been a long while since I read the 'Dax' section, and that section seems to be going the slowest at the moment, but as it's seemingly tied into the 'Enterprise' section it might have to wait until that one runs it's course? It's an odd read, to be sure. ;-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 03:07 AM
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I watched the latest episode of "Secret Diary of a Call Girl"; as usual, Billie Piper cheered my soul.
I'm tired of reading, but I can't sleep. And I'm having obscene thoughts about someone I shouldn't. I mean...this guy is just someone who I would never tell my friends I was crushing on. Well...maybe Mollie, and Mark if he asked, but maybe not.
Speaking of disturbing erotic visions...enough time has passed that I can talk about my secret shame! About a year ago, I had a hot dream about Kiefer. I know. But it's true. I woke up happy too...only to realize in horror what my brain had conjured. I wanted to rinse my brain out with acid. This new guy isn't as bad as that; at least this one is human on some level. It's just perverse.
Oh well. A little naughty fantasy life never hurt anyone.
;-0)
9 Days until Sarah Jane!
posted by Bald Jason at 05:37 AM
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I went back to reading my book before I finally had to give up and go to sleep. I had 33 pages left. I don't know what time it was, but the sun had been up for awhile. Mark just woke me up because he knows I want to attend a party for my friend Robert, which starts at 5pm and runs until 10pm. My head is killing me and my jaw won't stop popping; I'm gonna have to take some pain killer before I can do anything else. I also need to shave in the worst way, and shower. We'll see what happens after that.
Actually, I just rememebered my dad called just as I was drifting off to sleep, and after we talked for a few minutes I finally got to sleep, and according to my phone my dad called at 8:25am.
posted by Bald Jason at 04:58 PM
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Sunday, September 21, 2008
Mark & I left for the party around 7pm on Saturday. We stopped at our storage unit, Kmart, the bank & a gas station. We got there a little before 8pm I think. It was good to see Robert and meet some of his friends; good to see Di, Bryan, Chris. Good to spend time with Mark, and Michael who joined us.
Michael might come hang out later tonight.
After the party, Mark & I went to Kroger to get groceries and then came home. I'd take a few pain killers at the party, and Michael gave me an amazing massage so I was very relaxed, but I could still feel the heachache a bit. I layed down for an hour, and Mark worked on my computer for a bit. I eventually went to Aut Bar for an hour where I saw Mark, Al, David (who I went out on a date with about 5 years ago), Tracy (who I went out with 2 years ago) - I met lots of people to, such as Doug, Raphael, Felix (who has an amazing ass), &...other people I can't recall at the moment.
I left the bar after 2am, but kind of early for that crowd as I could feel my headache returning in full force. Now I'm going to have a snack and see if that helps at all. If it does, then I'll finish my Star Trek: Destiny book, and if it doesn't...I'll probably lay down for awhile.
8 Days Until Sarah Jane!
posted by Bald Jason at 02:25 AM
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I finished my book, then fell asleep. I was having the most bizarre but interesting dreams. I was helping people at Meijer, and my mother was a cashiere there... and then I was at my old church where the police were investigating something...which involved them mesasuring all kinds of facts involving my Great-Grandfather's high-powered motor chair. 1 of the tests involved my step-father lifting and carrying the chair (with my G-G in it), backwards and I told Doug (my S-F) to be careful. Around that time I realized the voice of the officer that was talking was Mark and I woke up to hear Mark, through my door, talking on his phone. He has this cell phone that doesn't look like a phone, and when he talks on it he talks very loudly - and very rarely closes his door. I was upset, but then I realized it sounded like it was a work related call and wandered back to my room. After he got off the phone he apologised.
posted by Bald Jason at 06:13 AM
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I couldn't get back to sleep, so I wrote a review of that first Destiny book at Trek message board that I go to. Now I think I'll have a snack and start reading a different book; maybe the next New Frontier one.
posted by Bald Jason at 07:25 AM
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I didn't start reading a new book. Instead I watched "Wolverine & the X-Men", a new animated X-Men series. It's the darkest animated incarnation yet and is far better than the last one (I couldn't stand X-Men: Evolution); it has a serialized storyline so far, and I plan to keep watching it. I watched the first 2 episodes with Mark (the only 2 episodes to air - there will be 26 this season) and then went back to sleep. I slept until around 6pm. I told Mark I was ready to learn stuff, as he was gonna teach me about selling stuff on e-bay, but he wasn't ready yet, so I had a snack. Only I forgot to take my pills before the snack and by the time I took them it was too late. The next 2 hours were a terrible reminder of what my life was like before the pills. Now I'm just waiting for my stomach to settle so I can retake my pills and keep them down. Ick.
I did learn some stuff about the e-bay-ing of items...so the lesson wasn't a total waste, but we're now calling that lesson 1, when we'd planned on me learning everything at once. I'm gonna clean my room a bit; it's not that messy; just a bit untidy. And I have to seal this box, which is the official ending of my first lesson.
I'm having a AVP LAN party this Tuesday night with my former Hollywood coworkers: Bryan, DJ, & Mike. I might invite Michael to join us, but there might be another Hollywood member joining us so I don't want to overcrowd the place, so I've got to wait on that one.
8 Days until Sarah Jane Smith! 1 week from tomorrow night we'll (hopefully) have the next 2 episodes of the Whoniverse. :-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 09:09 PM
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Monday, September 22, 2008
Michael's here. He just stepped out for a cigarette, or a phone call or something. It feels nice having him here, though slightly odd. He doesn't feel single anymore; not to me anyways, so I feel weird having lustful thoughts about him. It's odd.
Anyways. I just wanted to note that.
posted by Bald Jason at 01:35 AM
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Michael just left. It was a very nice visit with a lot of laughter and fun, but I was disturbingly turned on so it was kind of hard to think, or concentrate on anything. That will pass I'm sure. I've been through this with other ex-bfs before. Erg. I thought he hadn't been reading my blog so he didn't know stuff...and then he commented on some stuff from my blog, so I'm not sure, but then he didn't know and now is going to read my blog... which makes me nervous all of a sudden. I actually think the entry is hidden though. Maybe I could just copy and paste the gist of it or something. lol
But...even though I was tempted to hook up with him, I didn't. So...go me. Except that means I'm not getting layed, which sucks. lol. Oh well. It sucks to be an adult sometimes...not that I'm an expert or anything.
posted by Bald Jason at 02:59 AM
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I watched the new episode of True Blood; I'm so loving this show! I also watched the season premiere of Smallville, which I didn't expect to enjoy after last season's crapfest, but instead I thought it was the best episode since Season 6; well done. Desperate Housewives and 'Brothers & Sisters' return on Sunday. The Sarah Jane Adventures return a week from today. ;-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 07:06 AM
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I had trouble sleeping this morning, so I finished watching the Voyager episode "Dark Frontier". The Destiny trilogy of books that I've beey hyping here for over a year, (the first of which I just finished reading yesterday) concern the Borg and look to explore their history and their true ending, so I'm reviewing some of the highlights of the Borg. Then later I watched the movie "Prime", which is one of those MANY movies on my GLBT inclusive shelf that I own but had never seen. Michael had talked about it the night before so I figured now was the time. It was ok. I didn't feel stupid for watching it, and I liked the point of the movie. It wasn't perfection, but it wasn't trying to be. I finally fell asleep around 12:30pm.
I woke up around 5:50pm. I felt ill. I don't think it was actual sickness or my stomach problems plaguing me, but something else. I got sick on my comforter though, and put it in the washer before texting Mark and going back to sleep. It took me about 40 minutes to get back to sleep I think; maybe longer. I felt cold, which is odd for me in my room.
I woke up again around 9:30pm. I had strange dreams about old school friends and ATM money encounters gone criminally wrong. Mark was home, and he'd picked up stuff from the store for me...and my comforter was already dry from the dryer. Mark & I chatted a bit...and now I'm writing this.
I usually go to Necto on Mondays, but that moment of feeling horrible makes me wonder if it's not a better idea to stay home and work on some other projects.
Hopefully, 1 week from now I'll be watching, or will already have seen the first 2 episodes of the new Sarah Jane Adventures. ;-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 10:12 PM
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Tuesday, September 23, 2008
About Michael.
So some of this is old news and people may want to skip it. This is a simplified version of events, but I don't feel like writing the whole sorted story out again...
I started dating Michael a little less than a year ago. The date is conjectured, but we know for sure that we started actually dating and not just chatting, sometime in November of 2007. Things went very well, and I was enjoying myself quite a lot. But I felt like Michael was falling in love with me, and I wasn't falling in love back. And since that imbalance would undoubtedly bite us in the ass later, I called it quits; just in time as he was about to confess his love for me. We managed to remain friends, and not long after we decided to continue as lovers.
I tried to date other people, which didn't really work. Michael starting hanging out with this guy Chris, who was hot for him. I asked Michael mutliple times if this was something that could become something more and he shot that down everytime I brought it up. My thinking at the time, was that if he & Chris had a shot I was going to back off so as not to be a problem for them (or myself).
So we continued as we were, and everything seemed fine. About this time I started realizing I had deeper feelings for Michael. But also in this time I found that Chris had deeper feelings for Michael too, and as Chris had confided this in me, I felt weird about pursuing more with Michael. But since Michael had assured me that nothing was going to happen with Chris I felt safe just standing by and waiting for that ship to sail so I could move on with Michael.
Only that ship didn't sail. It's anchored in port, and according to both Chris and Michael now there is a chance for them to date. Michael insists that for now they are only just roomies (they moved in together), but he contsantly talks about Chris now, and he seldom if ever uses the pronouns I or me - it's always us & we, referring to Chris. They go on trips together. They go to hotels together. They are now wearing matching rings. And everytime I hear him say "we" or "us" to casually refer to them, it stings. It actually feels like all the things that I was feeling have been turned inside out and turned into this horrible parody of what I had imagined.
But I don't want to pursue Michael now, because that makes it look like I'm just jumping on him out of jealousy, when that isn't the case at all; I was planning on continuing with Michael once this drama was behind us all. Now everything feels tainted. Even if Michael felt the same way for me, Chris is still his roomie and they're so entrenched in each others lives now that I can't overcome them; it's like Chris is always there, even when he's not - like some kind of deadly infection or weed that my doctor/gardner told me was benign. Not that I dislike Chris as a person...just the situation sucks. And the thing is, I would have backed off and probably not started having these feelings in the first place if Michael had just told me that he was interested in Chris when they first started hanging out. If I'd known that Chris was even the slightest of mild possibilities I would have left Michael Town long before I was infested with love cooties. lol. But now here we are and I'm very jealous, and very hurt, and I don't want to be that guy. I refuse to be that guy.
And the thing is, this isn't a terrible tragedy, no matter how much it sucks. I don't need a boyfriend. I mean, I want one, and feel cheated out of one, but the world isn't going to end because I don't have one. lol. But it hurts, and it hurts everytime I see Michael now. So...I'm leaning towards us not communicating anymore. At least for awhile. I think we need some distance. This way he & Chris can give it their best shot... And I can have the healing time to not want to shoot myself in the face everytime I think of them together.
I don't think any of us went out trying to hurt one another, which I'm proud of. I broke up with Michael with the best of intentions. I remained friends with him, for the same reasons. Chris fell for Michael, not to hurt me; he couldn't help it. Michael was dishonest about certain things, but so was I, and Chris probably was too. If I had been honest we might be together right now, and if Michael had been honest I might never have fallen for him...so maybe it wasn't meant to be anyways. Besides the fact that they seem to go very well together, and are probably a better couple than we'd ever be. So maybe it's best to just let them go about their business in peace while I move on.
I just want to take this moment to acknowledge that I fell in love with Michael Eisinger. And while trying to take the high road, I fell on my face. lol. It's funny in a sad way. I'll survive. We'll all survive. And that's ok. And I just need to say that before I can move on.
Do I regret anything? Sure. Yeah. I do. But assuming there's a next time, I won't wait to say what I'm feeling. Lesson learned.
posted by Bald Jason at 05:13 AM
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I cleaned the toilet. I did some laundry. Sorted some clutter downstairs. I watched more of The Sarah Connor Chronicles. I'd meant to finish the series a long time ago but never got around to it. Now I am. It's kind of stupid, but has some good moments. I got Mark up at 6am so he could work on some Bitserve stuff and help me set up the computers for the AVP LAN party tonight. Michael, Bryan, DJ & Mike should all be here. I might be able to get another player in as well.
I need to sleep. I'd like to clean a bit as well though. We'll see.
I've got this mashup stuck in my head that uses the instrumental of 'Wicked Game' by Chris Isaak and mixes it with a French song, which was said to be Morcheeba, but I've never heard any of their songs in French, and I'm not a big enough fan to know if it's a translated version of one of their songs. Erg. It annoys me when I can't track down all the pieces.
posted by Bald Jason at 08:56 AM
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I was going to clean some more but I got distracted organizing videos on my computer. Now I need sleep. I'll worry about the rest after that.
posted by Bald Jason at 11:16 AM
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Wednesday, September 24, 2008
I've had this constant migrain for the last 48 hours or so. I take meds, and they kill it for a few hours and then it's back. It's starting to piss me off.
I woke up around 5:30pm, Tuesday night. I had a dream about an intruder in my grandmother's house; I kicked his ass! After I woke, I returned a call from DJ and cleaned up a bit; shaved and showered. Mark was home earlier than expected from work and all was going well.
AVP night was a complete success! DJ, Bryan, Mike & Mark all played. Mark got a little testy at the end (as he does) but we just stopped playing at that point and the former Hollywood crew had reunion time. Lots of really good converation. Bryan left around midnight. Mike stayed, and we ended up watching the 'Hush' episode of Buffy. DJ & Mike left around 2am. It was so good to see everyone and hang out.
Mark got us all pizza during the game play, and it was also great. I got a phone call from Mollie and we talked about our great AVP memories and she made me laugh a lot. It would have been great if she'd have made it to the party. ;-0)
Michael couldn't make it as he'd made plans with his other friends. So much unsaid there....
After everyone had left I found that the internet was down, but Mark said he'd fix it in the morning. I passed the hours catching up on the Terminator series; watching the last 8 episodes. I'm completely caught up now, and I can say that some of the show is a really brilliant spin-off of the Terminator movies...while some of it is just really silly. There were a few moments where I teared up, but didn't actually cry. It's an ok show, but I'd rather see T4. I'll probably catch up on Heroes next.
When Mark got up for work he fixed the internet, but he's still not getting ready for work, despite the fact that he needs to be there in 20 minutes. I'm gonna go try to get his butt in gear. He always thanks me for that later. lol.
posted by Bald Jason at 08:40 AM
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I watched 2 episodes of Heroes, Season 2. It does get better. I had stopped watching it right before it got better. I have 8 more episodes to watch (including the first 2 episodes of Season 3). I'll probably do that tonight; it sounds like fun.
After watching the 2 episodes of Heroes I slept. I'm surprised I can sleep with the neighbors tv blaring; they've been doing that a lot lately.
posted by Bald Jason at 08:20 PM
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Thursday, September 25, 2008
I'm all caught up on Heroes.
posted by Bald Jason at 05:37 AM
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Friday, September 26, 2008
I love David Letterman.
I'm over half way through my Trek book.
The new Clone Wars series starts in 1 week.
Nothing else to report. How sad is that?
posted by Bald Jason at 12:58 AM
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I had a really great phone conversation with Mollie...which really cheered me up, though I wasn't depressed...just a little out of it. I'm very smiley now. Introspective but content.
posted by Bald Jason at 04:27 AM
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I've started watching 'Pushing Daisies', which I love.
posted by Bald Jason at 05:14 AM
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So I'm hooked on 'Pushing Daises'.
And I love any article that notices how horrific our country has become under Republican rule. Anything that pokes fun at the Republicans, which in previous years would have made me giggle and move on, has become an event. It's like each time something happens like that, I'm hoping the world is gonna wake up from this horrible nightmare we've been living in for the last 8 years... But I'm scared as hell that the Republican's will fix the election, as they did in 2000. I mean, in 2000 we had George Bush coming out on top despite the facts, and he's become the most hated president in history, while Al Gore, who actually won the election but didn't get to be president has gone on to win the Nobel Peace Prize! It hurts my head.
But articles like this, this, and THIS make me smile and think that things might eventually turn out ok.
posted by Bald Jason at 09:16 PM
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Sarah Palin hurts my head! This is who people want as President? Even as VP she's worthless. As President I literally shudder to think what she would do in office. She talks in circles; doesn't speak from supported fact; and can't give a straight answer. It's pathetic.
"I'm not looking at poll numbers."
She HURTS my brain! Or...it's more like the people that choose her hurt my brain.
She's like Bush (after being injected with estrogen). This has got to stop. I can't be the only one who sees this!?!
Oh. And this John McCain youtube video (with some unfortunate volume problems) documents McCain's outragious flip-flopping on issues. 1 or 2 is fine. But this is hilarious...and scary. To actually see some of McCain's unbelievable flip-flops, click here.
posted by Bald Jason at 10:56 PM
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Saturday, September 27, 2008
I went to Necto last night. Saw a lot of people I know: Brandon, Jeremy, Preston, Becky, Jon, Perris, DJ Mark, DJ Jinx (who's birthday it was), Keevan (though I didn't get to talk to him). I met lots of people too. I ended up hanging out after the bar with this cute, cuddly guy named Rob. I also ran into Dorian downtown. Rob is hanging out here until he sobers up, then I'll take him back to his motorcycle, get groceries, come home and probably eat, watch some stuff, read, and sleep. That's what I'm thinking anyways. I had a fun night.
And round 1 of the presidential debate seems to be leaning more towards Obama than McCain, so good news all around. Though I would have preferred McCain to make an ass of himself, and a more pronounced victory. As it is, this race is still pretty tight, and I don't trust the Republican party to play fairly.
posted by Bald Jason at 06:49 AM
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Sunday, September 28, 2008
I dropped Rob off at the parking struction (where his motorcycle was parked) around 7:30am Saturday. I drove out to Meijer to get groceries, passing a disturbing amount of UofM football traffic. I tried calling Mollie and left her a message. I made short work of the shopping and headed home. I was already tired, but I stayed up. I went to the banks with Mark so he could borrow $450.00 from me, then we came home and did random things before he left to visit family for the day. I watched various youtube political videos demonstrating the ineptitude of the McCain/Palin ticket which both amused and terrified me... until I had to give in and sleep.
After waking I continued reading my Trek book. Mark came home and I briefly considered going to Aut Bar, but I was really enjoying my book, so I stayed home instead. After finishing my book (which was awesome), I finished off the last 2 & 1/2 episodes of 'Pushing Daisies' and started the next New Frontier book, which is a bit different as there's a 3 year gap in the series and this one explains what happened to everyone so I'm looking forward to seeing all the changes in the crew. ;-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 06:33 AM
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I've become addicted youtube videos documenting the lies told by the McCain/Palin ticket...it's like their tired campaign train is jumping off the tracks, but if they get elected we become the crash victims. It's outragious. This just in...
Also...has anyone else noticed that when John McCain gets excited that he sounds like the late Angelo Rossitto (aka the 'Master' half of 'MasterBlaster' from "Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome")? "Who controls bartertown?" It makes me giggle. ;-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 01:38 PM
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Monday, September 29, 2008
Tina Fey & Amy Poehler strike again, this time making fun of whack-job Palin's interview by Katie Couric. Very nice. The SNL video takes some time to load though. If you've seen the original interview you'll understand how insane it was, and how they could have just played the interview itself for laughs, save that Fey's impersonation of some of Palin's most outragious behaviors is just so fricking funny. ;-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 01:41 AM
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Everything is breaking down...so why do I feel more alive?
I said goodbye (for now) to Michael yesterday...which was like talking to a retarded zombie. No reaction. At all. If Mila had been there I would have had to defend him.
My dvd burner is fried, which sucks as I have tons of awesome things to share with Mollie like Chuck (which grows on you), Pusing Daisies (which is awesome right out of the gate), True Blood (which is beyond funny and slightly scary), plus new episodes of old favorites... Which I'd have more of but easynews backlogged so I can't see new episodes of Brothers & Sisters, Desperate Housewives, True Blood, and The Sarah Jane Adventures.
I'd call Mollie about all this upset, but apparently her unlimited roaming minutes have been used up!?! How is that possible? Today sucks.
I did manage to get 11 new pictures up in my room, which doesn't sound like much, but it changes everything. ;-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 11:51 PM
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Tuesday, September 30, 2008
I went to Necto last night. Had a blast! Danced a lot. Drank a bit. Made some friends. Saw other friends. And danced some more. :-0)
After leaving the bar with Christine & Bobby (who's in town visiting) we hung out by my car and the fun kept coming. We made plans for tonight, but I don't know if they're still on or not. We'll see.
It's raining as I type this; I hope it lasts.
I slept when I got home from the bar. I actually got quite a workout. I had good dreams and woke up around 7am. I read the news and did laundry. I got Mark up for work. I watched the new episodes of Ugly Betty, Brothers and Sisters, True Blood & Desperate Housewives.
I read more news.
I don't know if I mentioned this to Mollie or not but they're making a new Pirates movie with Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow. I'm not a huge fan of the series, but as KK (she of the odd jaw) has announced that she isn't returning, perhaps we'll finally get that Jack/Will kiss we've been waiting for.
posted by Bald Jason at 02:27 PM
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