Saturday, May 2, 2009

Most of Thursday I stayed in bed with Michael. We slept well together for once. It was fantastic. Later that night we went to his work (where we had a sort of argument when he introduced me to some customers as his "friend"); I got to meet some of his coworkers in passing + I got some curley fries. ;-0)

We stopped by his place to get his glasses and hair products, headed back to our place - after stopping to get LC, because he realized that he'd left his wallet behind. We picked up his wallet and headed to Chris and Bryans where we had lots of conversation with Chris before Bryan showed up. I needed my pills so I could eat so we went back to the condo again, then to a gas station for snacks, then back to Bryan & Chris's for pizza, random movie clips and eventually euchre. Bryan & I were partners and won 2 out of 3. It was a fun night, with everyone getting along. I loaned 'Caprica' to Bryan & Chris. We came home...and slept together again. Lovely.

While we were at Bryan & Chris's the time turned to midnight and we acknowledged that our 1 month anniversary arrived. Later in the night he spoke of marriage at some later date. It could happen. I don't know. Maybe it will and maybe it won't. But what we have right now is pretty amazing.

Friday I really didn't want Michael to leave but he had too for work. :-0( Later my stomach started bothering me so I tried to get more sleep. Much later, Mark and I went to get some food and then some groceries. We played 'Mario Kart' which I didn't hate, but didn't enjoy either. Mark didn't like it either (he usually likes driving games) and we're thinking of trading it in. We played some Wii Bowling. Then Mark headed to his room and I headed to mine.

Michael and I later traded some texts, before said goodnight. I watched recent clips of the Rachel Maddow show and then played Zelda. I got passed the bit that had me stuck last time, but it's an extended kind of thing, and I got stuck again at another annoying spot. I'm wondering if this is the part that my friend Pat told me inspired him to a punch a hole in his wall.

I'm tired. It's warm in my room and I'm tired...and slightly horny. I miss Michael. Not for sex, though that would be nice. I really enjoyed sleeping in the same bed with him, which takes me awhile to get used to...but now I'm used to him...I think. And I wish he was in my bed behind me, waiting for me to crawl in bed and snuggle with him.

I'm going to get ready for bed, and turn down the air.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:42 AM
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   Sunday, May 3, 2009

It took me forever to get to bed Saturday morning, but when I did I slept fairly well. I woke up with a headache, but I struggled to not take any of my meds as I'd taken it 2 days in a row and it's not good for the liver. I managed to hold off for about 12 hours, but then gave in and I'm so glad I did as I feel 100% better. My stomach isn't bothering me, and my butt feels about 90% better than it has been, so I'm doing pretty well.

Michael started watching Battlestar Galactica Saturday night. And he's not stopped watching it; he's watching it right now. He's finishing up episode 9 "Flesh & Bone" in which Kara tortures Leoben. In retrospect this episode is essential viewing. I'd talk about why, but Michael reads my blog and I don't want to spoil anything for him.

Hearing about Michael watching BSG inspired me to rewatch huge sections of the finale, which I liked a lot better this time. I think that when I rewatch the series, knowing what's to come, and then see the extended cut of the finale that I will probably love it. I also like that there is a nice reference to 'Caprica, before the fall' in the finale, which means that future viewers will be able to see the entire series someday and Caprica the series will be referenced in the finale as well. I'm very excited right now about "The Plan" & "Caprica". I wish I had them here on DVD and just watch them all right now. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:37 AM
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   Monday, May 4, 2009

Slept until about 5pm on Sunday. I stayed up all night doing laundry, burning discs for Mollie, reading, and playing Wii Tennis. I spoke to Michael briefly. He finished the first season of BSG, and he's upset about the ending and not having the next episode to watch. He's coming over in the wee hours of Tuesday morning - probably around 2am.

I can't sleep. I've tried. Don't know what's up with me. I had to post a response to more bigotry on a Trek site. Blah. I hate writing those replies; they stress me out. But they have to be written.

Mark can't feel one of his legs. I'm trying to get him to see a doctor, but he has a bad history with the medical profession in relation to him reporting symptoms and them ignoring him. He doesn't want them to think he's crazy, but I know that he's not.

I got an e-mail from Shawn Foreman. It didn't 'sound' like him, and it has me slightly worried. I hope he's ok.

I'm back to loving BSG. I'm uber-excited about Caprica and The Plan. And I really want to see the extended cut of the finale.

I've read some more Doctor Who RUMORS.

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Ok. Firstly, I've read this before, but there's a rumor that Gillian Anderson will play the Rani in the first season for the 11th Doctor.

It's also rumored (this one sounds real) that famous actress Claire Bloom will be appearing in David Tennant's final story as The Doctor's Mother!!!

There are also rumors of a possible UNIT spin-off series, but I can't imagine that airing when they're already having a hard time keeping the highly rated The Sarah Jane Adventures on air - plus they still have Doctor Who, Torchwood, and new series K-9. I've been wrong before though.

It's rumored that the 10th Doctor will fight the Master and some other Time Lords who are now evil. I've wondered if the Time War might be undone in some way in this finale. That would set up the Rani appearance in the new season. Hmmmm.

The interior of the TARDIS will be destroyed. Probably true. We know that there will be a new interior design in the 2010 series.

Martha Jones will return. Probably true. It seems that everyone but Rose & her family are returning, which they have an excuse for.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:26 PM
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Still awake. Exhausted. More bigots on Trek Forums. Blah Blah Blah. More rumors about Doctor Who. I need to sleep. NOW.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:56 PM
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Slept for 4.5 hours. Finished Mollie's Discs!!!! Well, this batch anyways. Then next batch I send will mostly likely be a bit smaller. I just woke up Mark for work. I'll try to go back to sleep.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:43 PM
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   Tuesday, May 5, 2009

I went back to sleep and woke up around 1am, with HORRIBLE migrain...and a text from Michael. He came over, while I took my pills and ate. He's here now. After the pills and food and a hot shower that ran out of hot water before I was done soaking my poor miserable head, my headache is less than it was, but more than I'd like. Blah.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:29 AM
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Hours later, Michael is sleeping. My headache is mostly gone...

There are now rumors that besides Sarah Jane guesting in one of the 10th Doctor's final specials, that he'll also be appearing on her series. Nice. I had suspected as much.

Wacky:

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:01 AM
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   Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Tuesday was hard. There was the headache. There were problems between Michael and I. The first major problems that we've had actually. I spent most of the day and the following night in shock. I slept a lot. It seemed to help. I've still not fully recovered from my war wounds. Perhaps I never will. Perhaps that's why even when awake, most of Tuesday felt like a terrible dream.

Michael and I have spoken about these issues and intend to work through them if we can. We're going to try. That's all any of us can ever do.

Michael borrowed Season 2.0 of BSG, which is to say that he borrowed the first 9 episodes of Season 2. There are actually 10 episodes in that set, but I'd instructed him to not watch the 10 episode (the spectacular "Pegasus" installment) as the even better Extended Cut of the episode is part of the Season 2.5 set. He had told me that he wouldn't be able to watch it until Wednesday, but last night I learned that instead of cleaning up his garage he'd been sucked into the series and had all but watched every episode. lol. I understand that experience. It worries me that he'll get to the end of Series 4.0 and want to charge on into 4.5, when the DVD's don't come out until the end of July (another 12 weeks). I do have those episodes on my computer, but at least 3 of those episodes will have extended cuts on the dvds and I was hoping he'd be able to see those versions first. But I also worry about taking a break in a series that is far more enjoyable when taken in the shortest amount of time possible. I think long breaks between installments of a series like this is actually detrimental to the enjoyment factor, IMO. And though I've enjoyed BSG for years now, I wish I could have exerienced the entire series as a whole on dvd in a span of weeks. Something that won't be possible until the release of "The Plan" (with a probable extended dvd cut) which might not even happen until early 2010 (though it will probably air around November). And even then, there is Caprica. If Caprica remains as good as it's pilot episode, then I'd extend my wish to have seen all of Caprica before BSG. Yet, Caprica is also well experienced after BSG, as knowing Caprica's fate gives everything a further sense of gravity.

I just watched a 3rd Season episode of BSG. "Maelstrom". I want to talk about it, and how it made me weep. I want to talk about how the end of the series changed the way I view this episode, but I can't. I have friends who haven't seen the end of the series yet, and I don't want to spoil things for them. Suffice it to say, that while I loved this episode the first time around, that I now see even more within it, and am moved to an even greater degree.

I guess that even with Swine Flue scares, a leak online, and some bad reviews, the new Wolverine movie did great business. This means that a sequel is already in the works, which will center on the Samurai storyline, which most Wolverine fans that I know say is their favorite; hopefully this will lead to a better a film. I'm also hearing reviews now from people that actually enjoyed the new movie, which is nice to hear. Also, the character of Deadpool, who features in the Wolverine movie is getting his own spin-off, with Ryan Reynolds already signed to reprise the role. Gambit is being talked about as a possible spin-off. Magneto is also in discussion. I like the idea of all these spin-offs from the original X-Men movies, which are my favorite super-hero series of films.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:44 AM
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I just read more reviews of 'Caprica', and found a new rumor online about a possible cameo in final 10th Doctor story. If it's true...please be true!

Um...I started this entry, and never finished it. It's now been hours. lol

The new Doctor Who Rumor follows:

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The new rumor is that Rose will appear in a single scene with 'the other Doctor' - also she's listed as Rose Smith! ;-0) Hope this is true!

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:10 AM
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   Thursday, May 7, 2009

Yesterday, I watched the newest Graham Norton. Later I watched "Battlestar Galactica: Razor". I tried to sleep a little around 5pm, but couldn't get to sleep. Michael stopped by to pick up more BSG, and that was supposed to be all. I pulled him in bed with me for some afternoon action. I just craved it, right then, and he gave it in spades. We showered, and he left. I slept.

I woke briefly when Mark said goodbye as he left for work, then woke again a bit after midnight. I read the news.

I feel a bit lonely tonight. Not sure why.

Oh. And I downloaded a new Tori Amos song yesterday ("Maybe California"), which I like a lot.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:32 AM
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I talked to Michael on the phone. He has to be at work super early today to clean the store for some big deal at work. I'd kind of love to visit him today (and not just for the curely fries) but if something big is going on at his work I don't want to interfere. Better to go on a day when nothing's going on.

I watched the latest Brothers and Sisters. It made me cry. Nice episode. ;-0)

I tried downloading the season 1 soundtrack to BSG but about half the tracks didn't download. I have the 2nd & 3rd Seasons. I still need the remainder of Season 1 & the miniseries. The 4th Season will be out later this year; Caprica will be out in a in a few months.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:50 AM
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Mark helped me get the BSG soundtrack. Yay! Now I need the miniseries and I'll have all that's available at the moment. Caprica comes out next month.

I'm tired. Exhausted really. And I have been for hours. I tried going back to bed this morning and it didn't work. Why am I still awake?

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:08 PM
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   Friday, May 8, 2009

To get Mark to stop talking to me while I was writing this he wanted me to write that I love him to death. Of course later he shouted out to me anyways...and later still attempted to come into my room (Me: "Get out.", Mark: smile. "Fine.") I don't mind talking to Mark (and I often love it), but when I'm writing in my blog I like to not be distracted. And I know that he knows me well enough that he probably won't be offended when I tell him I'm writing and I need to be on my own...which is nice - and something I like about our friendship.

I got to sleep around 3pm on Thursday. I woke up several times but always went back to bed, determined to get 8 full hours. I did get 8 hours. I got up around 12:30am today I think.

Michael and I are on a break. Just for me to get my head wrapped around everything I'm feeling. We've been going SO FAST. And my heart is totally there, but my brain hasn't caught up and I need time to get there. I called a time out, which I wouldn't have done if I didn't want this to last...because I'm afraid it will all fall apart if I don't take care of this odd disconnect between my head and my heart. I feel good about this decision; it feels honest and adult.

Only thing is, HUGE DRAMA has broken out in Michael land. His roomie (and ex-bf) Scott, who is generally an asshole anyways, finally crossed the line and got in Michael's face. He wouldn't get out of Michael's way so Michael tried to push passed him, and Scott punched him. Michael called the cops. Scott fled the scene. Then Scott called Michael's boss and lied to them saying that Michael has been stealing from work (but if that's true then his bank account would surely show this activity and Michael's bills, which Scott seldom helps with though he's the cause of much of them, would be paid - but they're not). Now everything is in disarray. Scott's car is in Michael's name - meaning that Scott probably just lost his car and his place to live - I knew he was stupid, but does he have to be that stupid? But Scott probably has squatter's rights, so Michael should be giving him a 30 days notice of eviction in writing...right? And Michael has to work (Scott hasn't worked in 2 years while Michael has supported him) - and Scott can totally fuck with things while he's at work. Michael is having trouble walking (Scott punched him in the side - fucking coward). If Michael needs character witnesses he just needs to call in his friends who mostly hate Scott. Michael's sister hates Scott. And while I didn't hate him until now, Mark & I have both seen the way he behaves and I've heard so much from so many people that I suspected that trouble was on the horizon. He's just an idiotic asshole. And...did I mention that he's really unattractive? Not ugly per say, but on the cusp of creepy, and dragged over the edge by his horrible personality.

All of this leaves me feeling pretty helpless though. I don't know that there's anything that I can do. I keep thinking of him alone in his house and it's killing me. But if I went out there, I can't lock my car cause there's a problem with the locks which means my car would be open on the street with Scott crazy and pissed off. And if I had Michael come over here then the house would be unguarded and I don't trust Scott to not steal stuff or plant evidence against the crazy story he's got going for Michael (because I really do think he's that psychotic). And if Michael does come here and we solve all this I'll still be all confused about us as a couple, but if I don't do anything there might not be anything left of Michael to go back to.

My advice to Michael would be to talk to his manager and let them know that he knows an investigation is happening and that he wants to cooperate; that he has nothing to hide. That his accounts will demontrate that he never stole money, and that his roomie (who some people at his work are friends with) is bitter that he's alone, and just a bitch in general - and that he's lashing out at Michael as a final act of stupidity.

If anything good comes out of this, it will be that Scott is gone. He's been nothing but a stressful annoyance to Michael for years now, with only occasional bits of support coming from him, probably in his saner moments in which he realized that if it weren't for Michael, he'd be on the street. I don't understand that guy. And I doubt he undestands himself. It wouldn't surprise me if he was borderline schizophrenic - which could obviously make him dangerous...and could explain his recent behavior.

I feel I should be cleaning. But I don't have the energy or the direction. Also, just about everyone I know is super excited to see (or has already seen) the new Star Trek movie that opened at 7pm yesterday - which is gettin rave reviews! And I find myself kind of so wrapped up in this other drama that I can't be bothered with it. Paul Bukowski once told me that he wanted to see this movie with me, but I've not heard from him in weeks. Makes me wonder if he had been hoping to date me again, or possibly just fuck me. Oh well.

I've been throwing up today. It's nothing to get worried over, and it's not intentional. But my doctor suggested restricting the number of pills I take, and we decided that I'd not take them when I wasn't planning on going out or didn't have company. That way I wouldn't gross anyone out (but myself) and it would lower the risk of me getting this other horrible condition. It's not fun. It's really disgusting and really uncomfortable, but it's also 2nd nature after suffering that way nearly 24/7 for 7 long years. So there's that.

My ass is still on fire. I had a really horrific encounter earlier in the week that I don't want to discuss...but which made things far worse for me...and I'm not happy about that at all. It was all very...nightmarish. I just want to recover from the whole thing and go back to being fun Jason.

I'm still stuck on Zelda. And I'm stuck in a spot that I find the game play to be extremely NOT fun. So I'm not playing it anymore, or at least not until I change my mind. lol. It's just a terrible spot in the game. If I had friends that played it, who lived near by, and would let them beat this part for me because it hurts my head to think about it. Ugh. I'm back to playing Wii Tennis & Wii Bowling. My bowling average has started to SUCK; I may soon lose my pro status. My tennis playing has gotten better, but I'm nowhere near pro status.

One good thing happened in the last 24 hours, aside from the sleeping. I jacked off today, and had what might be the best orgasm I've had in...ever. That's not to say I haven't had amazing sex, because I have; some of it even recently. But sometimes masturbation is just better. Not all the time. But sometimes it's just perfect...and this time was. And I wouldn't have expected it to be... It was just a random 20 minutes of perfection. And I'm grateful for that. lol

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:58 AM
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   Saturday, May 9, 2009

I cleaned up some of my room yesterday. I watched some ALIAS; skimming through episodes to just watch my favorite scenes. I may watch the rest of the series in this way, or just drop it and get back to the shows that I'm extremely far behind on at this point. We'll see.

I slept from around 3:30pm - a little before 10pm. I tried to get back to sleep, but couldn't. I texted Michael and later called him. It was a good conversation. I'm still worried about him though.

I'm kind of sleepy now, so maybe I'll get that sleep after all? I don't know. We'll see.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:31 AM
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Not feeling that great today, so I'm staying put. I've watched 3 episodes of Desperate Housewives. 10 more to go and I'll be ready for the finale tomorrow. lol. That's so not going to happen right now. I'm tired.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:25 PM
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   Sunday, May 10, 2009

I slept from around 3:30pm - 11pm. Woke up from nightmares about giant spiders with my stomach in knots. I'm in a lot of discomfort. My stomach is killing me. My ass is hurting again. My throat doesn't hurt, but before going to bed it sounded like I was losing my voice. Ow. Ow. I'm in a lot of pain. I don't know how else to say it. This morning sucks.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:02 AM
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My stomach is calming down. My pain levels are lowering. Hope it lasts. I need to get groceries; don't know when I'll make it out though.

I'm seeing Star Trek XI on Monday with Paul. I wish I was feeling better so I could be excited about the movie. I tend to get nervous about going to the theater, rather than get excited about the movies lately. I've had really bad experiences with the theaters. I only saw 2 movies last year; 1 was terrible (AVP:R) and 1 was amusing (Hellboy II). I seem to mostly be interested in sequels.

I miss Michael.

At that thought, I reached for my phone to find texts from Michael. He wanted me to visit him tonight, but I wouldn't have been able to even if I'd gotten the message when I first woke. Ugh. My stomach. I need to start taking my pills more. I think I've been so paranoid about this other condition that I've not been taking them enough. We'll see.

Oh. And from the message it sounds like Michael has finished Season 2 of BSG. He says he needs Season 3. I'm guessing that the new BSG movie "The Plan" will end with the finale of Season 2 from the Cylon perspective.

I need to take my pills.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:11 AM
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I responded to some Trek related threads. I helped Mark out with a youtube project that his brother's family is involved in. I should get ready, and try to go to the store for some groceries, but I don't know if my stomach can take it. I haven't felt this bad in a long while, which I'm grateful for... I used to be like this almost every day. Blah.

Michael texted me. Says he's been thinking about a lot and we need to talk. That sounds ominous. He's told me over and over that he'll never leave me and that he loves me and that he's mine for as long as I'll have him... but I've known so many men that said those things and then hurt me that it's hard to believe him, even though I want to. Part of me is starting to believe him. I'd just really like to avoid being hurt if I can. I have enough pain in my life already.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:53 AM
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   Monday, May 11, 2009

So I did talk to Michael yesterday. He was feeling some disconnect as well, but in a different way than me, and we talked it out and I think we're better for it. He's coming over later today.

Looks like I won't be able to play the game that DJ & Bryan wanted me to join in on today. At first I thought I wouldn't be able to as I'd be asleep, but then I figured I might be able to work around it, except they've scheduled it for when the Star Trek movie starts, so I'm sure to miss it now. This saddens me. I hate missing any opportunity to see my Hollywood peeps.

I played more Wii Tennis & Bowling yesterday, raising my standing in both. Mark & I played doubles Tennis. I also did the Wii Fitness test thing again and I'm at 26yo level now; last time I was at 87 or something like that. lol. So I'm improving.

I stayed up later than usual because I was watching Desperate Housewives. Including the finale that aired last night I have 5 episodes left this season. There was 1 episode that was sort of a stand alone with Beau Bridges that I especially loved, but over all the show still has it's original charm, keeping the quality up. The only season that really felt weak was Season 2, but thankfully they found their way out of that slump.

I have 4 episodes of Smallville to watch (including the not aired Thursday Finale). I have 1 episode of Brothers and Sisters to watch. If I give Heroes another shot I have 2 Volumes to watch, but that's another show that I enjoyed more when I can watch all the episodes together in a short amount of time, so maybe I'll like that more. I still have 3 seasons of LOST to watch. I never got around to watching the rest of Clone Wars, so I have about a season of that to watch. I have to finish Dollhouse and Pushing Daisies and Ugly Betty. I have a lot to watch. I'm hoping to catch up on my television over the summer. Desperate Housewives is just the first one I picked to watch.

I slept until around 2:30am I think. I woke up with a headache, which wasn't unexpected as my jaw has been troubling me the last 2 days, and I've also not eaten much as I never went grocery shopping. I took some Midrin and made sure to eat something and now it's gone. While waiting for the pain to go away I spoke to Michael, and played some Spider Solitaire (which I play rather often, actually). I had this craving for S Club's 'Don't Stop Moving', so I've been listening to that, and the 2 mashups I have of the song. I also added a post to the LGBT Trek Characters thread that I started on my Trek forum - which continues to get some really great responses. You can see this thread here.

My headach is gone, and I feel like I have some energy, so I'm going to pick up my room a bit, do the dishes, the trash, and shave. That's my goal anyways. Wish me luck.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:51 AM
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I did the dishes. I bagged up the trash. I shaved, which is actually a long process for me when I've not shaved in weeks - it feels so amazing to be shaved again. It always makes me feel better, though I have razor burn. I showered. I made my bed. I picked up some of the clutter in my room, but there's definitely more I could get done. My stomach seems to be behaving normally. My ass feels better than it has in almost a week. I'm excited to see the new Star Trek movie today with Paul, and to see Michael. Finally the horrible weekend has ended!

Today is my nephew Jordan's 14th birthday. Happy Birthday Jordan!!! ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:07 AM
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I called my sister Janice's house to wish Jordan a happy birthday, but he was already on the bus to school. She had to let me go so she could get Jill & John up for school. We haven't had any long conversations in a while she's been so busy. I need to make time to have a vist with them. I'm missing them a lot.

I called Jordan's cell phone and left him a birthday message. I'll have to give Mark the number later so he can leave him a message or something.

I feel so much better today than I have in a long time. I hope it lasts.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:15 AM
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I cleaned up my room a bit more, and played some Wii; starting to suck at Tennis again, but I've raised my points on Bowling. Mark is picking up some groceries on his way home from work. I thought I might take a nap but Paul should be here in about an hour. I guess I should just get ready.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:13 AM
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Paul & I made it to the movie on time. It was nice to see him again. The movie was fantastic; my favorite film in the series. It accomplished so much, and in such a classy way. Color me impressed. I highly recommend it!

After the movie Paul brought me home while we talked some more. He came in to see how my room had changed and we talked some more; all of it good. When Paul was leaving Michael arrived and we went to bed. We got up around 10:20pm. We're playfully bitchy. Michael is playing Wii while I pay attention to the computer and snack to avoid a headache. I'm gonna get dressed and join him. It's so nice having him here. The weekend sucked, but so far, the week is going great. I just wish things were going better for the people I love.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:51 PM
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   Tuesday, May 12, 2009

After the last entry, Michael and I fooled around, then played Wii, then fooled around again. He had to leave, and he wasn't feeling very well. He borrowed Season 3 of BSG. He texted me shortly after leaving (around 4:30am I think) saying that he was so ill that he wished he'd stayed. I slept some more after he left; until a about 9:30am. Mark was working late so he wasn't home yet.

I started working on a spoiler filled BSG timeline, which I'm mostly finished with until 'The Plan' airs in November. While working on this, Mark came home and complained about the hickeys that Michael left on me, saying they were abusive, even though I myself enjoy them a great deal (not the marks themselves, but the pleasure I get when they're being left). I told Michael this and he has now said he won't do it anymore...which leaves me feeling slighted by both of them. Mark for not respecting my feelings, and Michael for worrying more about what Mark thinks than I do. Later, Mark also told me that we have to see if I can get food stamps as we're so broke that we need help - or I'll lose my health insurance.

So...today is sucking for different reasons than the weekend. But I don't feel ill, and I'm trying to keep my spirits up; trying to look at the bright side of things.

Mark & I will attempt to get me set up for food stamps on Friday. I tried doing it on my own about 10 years ago and it was a horrific experience, that left me feeling humiliated and dirty. Hopefully with him there it will be less freaky, plus with the economy the way it is, I feel less stupid for needing them. Michael has offered to help in any way that he can, but I don't really know what he could do. It's nice that he offered though.

Here's a preview for Season 2 of True Blood:

(if you haven't seen Season 1, it's probably best you skip this)

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:40 PM
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About BSG: The Plan, here are two videos I found. There are spoilers for Season 4.5, so unless you've seen ALL of the BSG episodes (and the Caprica pilot) you should skip these, and come back to them when you're finished (That means you: Michael & Mollie!!!) lol

Trailer #1:

Behind the Scenes Questions:

For those of you who've seen all of BSG and want to know more about The Plan, there is a page on my website that lists all that I've learned about it from various interviews and websites. You can find that -> here <-.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:21 PM
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My nephew Jordan (aka JJ); he's the one with the shaved head, playing the drums - he has a good part at the end:

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:45 PM
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I watched the season finale of Brothers and Sisters. I was annoyed by one scene that was a rip-off of another scene in Buffy the Vampire Slayer; never excpected to have to say that. lol. The rest of it was just so so with an ok goodbye to Tommy - the stand out scene for me was Saul speaking to Holly - everything else was just...lacking somehow as a Season Finale, but it did expose me to Ryan Adams's cover of Wonderwall, which I love. Mashup, remixes and covers. My favorites. And actually, musically, this Wonderwall cover balances out last season's finale episode's use of "Can't Find My Way Home" by Ellen McIlwaine - the two songs seem like they belong together. I like it.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:57 PM
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I'm tired. I've been reading the news, listening to some new Depeche Mode, and making random lists.

Turns out that my 5 least favorite episodes of BSG are as follows:

01 Deadlock (Season 4)
02 Hero (Season 3)
03 A Day in the Life (Season 3)
04 The Woman King (Season 3)
05 Black Market (Season 2)

My 10 favorite episodes (or 12, depending on how you look at it):

01 Sometimes a Great Notion (Season 4)
02 Downloaded (Season 2)
03 No Exit (Season 4)
04 Unfinished Business (Season 3)
05 Act of Contrition (Season 1)
06 Maelstrom (Season 3)
07 Revelations (Season 4)
08 Pegasus Trilogy (Season 2)
09 Someone To Watch Over Me (Season 4)
10 Crossroads, Part 2 (Season 3)

And it should be noted that I prefer the extended cuts of "Unfinished Business" & "Pegasus".

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:03 PM
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I think I'm going to bed.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:34 PM
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   Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I woke up around 1:40am. I'd missed a text from Michael at 1am asking if I was up so I asked him what was up, but he said he was hanging with a friend; he didn't say which one; and said he hoped that was ok. I remembered how ill he'd felt when he left last night; told him I was glad he was feeling better and that I love him, and that I hope he and his friend have fun.

I had a dream that Mark got a raise. Only he was 82 years old! lol. He could finally afford new teeth. lol. It's sad really because Mark asked for a long overdue raise last year, in August I believe. His boss told him that he would give Mark this raise in 2 months time, in October. Now another cost of living raise is past due, and Mark still hasn't gotten his first raise - and it's been SEVEN MONTHS. Mark was having money troubles back in August, but he's pretty much broke now... And it's not because they don't have money to give him these raises; they've given at least 2 other employees raises; one of them recently, which Mark's boss Ted told him about to his face - how cruel is that? I honestly think that the raise for Mark has just slipped his mind, or that he feels that since Mark hasn't followedup on it that he doesn't need it that badly or something. But he's wrong. Mark just trusted his boss to do the right thing...and he hasn't. Mark has been with the company since very nearly the beginning; back when they were working out of Ted's basement - and now people that have less seniority and who have contributed less and have less responsibility are getting raises while Mark's is at least a year overdue and Mark is broke. It's not right.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:29 AM
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I got a text from Michael, on his friend Melissa's phone. Apparently his phone bill needs to be paid so he can't text or call me; but I can call him. Bummer. His texts are a big part of my every day life of late.

Again - anyone who has not seen ALL of BSG should avoid the following link as it will spoil most of the series for you. So Don't Do That!!! ;-0)

I was updating my "BSG: The Plan" page yet again, as I found still more info (I'm so excited about this movie) - and I finally figured out how to embed content from youtube and the like. So those two videos I posted to my blog yesterday are now on the page. Score!

I'm having a nice chat with Mark at the moment. I told him about my dream, in more detail than I mentioned here. I guess I should update that section of my blog, but I don't feel like it. It involved elderly Mark buying newly fashionable teeth that were this freaky neon green. lol. Mark says he's going to ask about his raise soon, so hopefully that goes well. Because otherwise his boss is gonna piss me off even more.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:34 AM
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I'm getting tired.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:09 AM
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Still awake. I chatted online for awhile, while listening to Depeche Mode, and that Ryan Adams cover of Wonderwall; love that. Played Wii bowling, which I was sucking at. I made up for that though by raising my points in Wii Tennis 827, or somethng like that. Why am I not asleep?

And Mark is still at work. He's been there for over 13 hours! Hopefully this means that his employer will see how much Mark is worth and give him that raise he needs so bad. Mark is supposed to be back at work in 9 hours. If he stays any longer, then he might as well stay there until tomorrow morning.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:08 PM
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Still awake. I watched some BSG. I watched "Downloaded" and "Lay Down Your Burdens, Parts I & II". "Razor" takes place between those stories but I watched it last week. I also commented on the Trek forums and worked on my Facebook farm, though it made my Facebook go all wonky.

I'm going to bed. Or I'm trying too. I'm kind of acidy.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:03 PM
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   Thursday, May 14, 2009

I slept late. Michael came over last night, but I was in a haze from not having eaten. It's just a patch of oddly formed memories and dreams. I remember Supergirl (the movie), a mystery solved and walking into a bell tower with strange almost invisible stairs in slippery shoes. I managed to get a lot of sleep. I feel much better today. The acid seems to have been fought off. I shaved and showered. Michael's in the shower; we're going to LC to try some stuff I've never tried before. Stuffed Crazy Bread? Or possibly a different kind of cheese bread, though I'm not sure this store sells that. We'll see.

There's no entertainment news that interests me. There's a lot about the finale of Lost, but since I'm still seasons behind on that I have to avoid all that. I'm probably going to a doctor's appointment with Mark later, then I plan on watching lots of tv shows - finishing off Desperate Housewives, and maybe Smallville (the finale is on tonight) - and I also need to watch Dollhouse, United States of Tara, LOST, Dexter, WEEDS. Tons of stuff to watch. It's just a question of actually watching it.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:07 PM
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Went to LC. The food was over-rated. And upset my stomach in spite of me taking my pills. I knew that was a risk, but expected my stomach to be settled by the time Mark needed to go to his 3 o'clock appointment...

HOURS LATER

My stomach wasn't settled at the time; food was coming back up...Mark saw this and said he would go without me. I insisted on going because I knew he needed me to speak up for him with his doctor - my stomach was settled by the time we were waiting for his appointment.

I did speak up for Mark a couple of times, but his doc seemed to know what he was talking about. A lot of what he said demonstrated real physical proof of some of the pain that Mark has suffered for years, without anyone confirming it before, so I thought that was great progress. But the doctor didn't seem to have much to say about the numbness in Mark's right leg, which is very obviously distressing Mark a great deal. I told Mark the doc sounded like he was going to help with the other stuff, and suggested this might help with his leg, but he wasn't sure - so why don't we try to get him more help for his leg; more information and more options are always good. This way he has a better chance of feeling well, and won't have to feel like he's doing nothing. He seemed to like that, and was grateful for my input and my support. Mark & I don't always get along, but a lot of the time we're there for each other. I was glad I could be there for him today.

We then went to the post office and the bank. And now home. It's really beautiful out today. I wish Michael could be here.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:12 PM
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   Friday, May 15, 2009

Mark & I talked about visiting Michael at worked; I brought it up and Mark agreed. We decided we'd go later in the evening (on Thursday), but Mark went to sleep and I figured he'd changed his mind or something. Then later I went to sleep. Mark woke me up at one point saying he was sorry he'd slept so long, but I wasn't upset. I continued to sleep until 1:17am, when I got a text that my bleary eyes that was from my nephew Jordan. Thinking it was an emergency I replied that I was up, and I got a call but it was from my good friend Tony wanting to know if I'd seen the new Trek movie. I would have let him go to go back to sleep, but I rarely hear from Tony, and he's someone that comes in and out of my life, so I cherish everything with him, even if I'm really tired. lol. We had a good conversation about Trek and upcoming movies. He's going to be in town tonight (he was on a train approaching Grand Central Station during our conversation), but we're not sure we'll have time for one another. It would be great to see him, but I'm not sure what's going on or how I'll be feeling.

I'm going back to bed.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:07 AM
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I slept until about 5:30am. Good dreams. Felt rested.

Mark was awake.

My stomach was a bit upset

My ass is hurting again. It's never been like this before, where I have this pain for days and then it goes away and then returns. I have the number for a specialist, but I was told he probably wouldn't be able to help me unless my problems were more severe. My problems have become more severe since then, but probably not as severe as they need to be.

I ate.

Mark reminded me we're going to see about getting me food stamps today. He's very positive about it. I once tried to get food stamps around 1998 and the experience was so horrible that I never wanted to go back. Mark will be with me this time, so it might be better. But my stomach is upset from thinking about it. I threw up in the shower. That's 3 days in a row that I've been vomiting again, even though I've been taking the magic pills. I'm starting to feel worn down again, after only 3 days, though I think part of that is I simply haven't been able to just chill on my own. This will most likely change by Sunday. Then I can catch up on TV, read, and chill until the storm passes.

There are messages on my phone from Michael who got out of work around the time I went back to bed last night. He's probably getting off early today before he comes over. I have no idea how I'll be feeling when he comes over - I've been keeping my spirits up even though my symptoms of late haven't been that great; I don't know how long I can keep that up though.

Not sure what we're doing tonight. I'd consider cancelling and just chilling in the dark in my room, but Michael & I have very few chances to see one another, and to see him today & tomorrow is a rare gift that I feel I must take advantage of while I have the chance. My health can wait a few days. And perhaps I'll feel better as we go.

I'm starting to feel like I did those 7 years when I was constantly feeling ill. I don't like it. It haunts me. What if the pills have stopped working? What if my brief relief is all I'll get?

Michael is going away for Memorial Day Weekend and he really wants me to go, but I don't do lakes; I don't do sun; I don't do anything that has to do with that kind of vacation. And I don't want to hang out somewhere (I don't want to be) while everyone around me is doing the things they actually DO want to be doing. I don't want to bring everyone down. And I think it will help for me, in my current state at least, to chill here where I'm comfortable and don't have to worry about anything or suffer long car trips. I considered going for a few weeks, but the timing is really bad for me...which makes me feel guilty because Michael won't let it drop - and obviously wants me by his side. It's this constant pressure, though every time he brings it up he says there's no pressure. I think that because I've been so good at putting a happy face on how I'm feeling that he thinks I'd be fine up there, when really...I wouldn't be, and I know it. It's become this thing that I just want to be over with. The trip I mean. And I hate feeling like a disappointment, when I already feel disappointed enough that I can't just go and do whatever because of my stomach. It's really, really depressing when I think about it, so I just try to put it out of my mind.

So, my friend Tony is in town tonight. I'd like to see him, but I don't know if that will happen. I got most of my sleep last night, and it doesn't look like I'll be getting any more today - or probably not. Meaning I'll most likely be tired tonight.

I guess I feel good, yet I'm also weary and kind of frayed around the edges. Broken. But trying to enjoy my life. But sometimes I have moments of exhaustion that make the enjoyment part a lot harder. I hope this segment of my life will pass quickly. I just want to lay down and cry sometimes.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:21 AM
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I now have financial aid. Foodstamps. $200.00 a month ($109 for this month). And they'll pay my medical premiums (I think). This helps us out a LOT. So that's good. But it creeps me out that I'm basically making more than I did when I was working at Hollywood Video. I'm not complaining, because I need this help, but it's still kind of fucked up. Mark is really happy with the result as this will take a LOT of pressure off of him, which will hopefully spare him some stress. Our car will be paid off in August, which should give him some more cash as well, plus hopefully he'll get a raise at some point.

The experience of going to that place and getting the help was not fun, yet it was in most ways, the complete oppoisite of my previous experience of a about a decade ago, in which I was so humiliated that I never went back to confirm and get my help. I just wanted to die. This time, everyone was friendly (I met a BSG fan in the waiting room), and the worst parts were the waiting in the crowded place, and hearing so many sad stories...and seeing some people treated very badly.

I'm glad it's done with for now.

We went to LC afterwards, and so far my stomach is doing pretty well. Hope it lasts. Michael will be getting off work around 6pm.

I watched an episode of Smallville while I ate. I had 3 more left. I'd watch them, but I feel really tired.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:23 PM
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   Saturday, May 16, 2009

I just woke up and took a shower, and shaved. My stomach is upset again, which is odd as it's been like 8 hours since I ate, which says that my pill didn't work, though that wasn't uncommon with pizza in the past, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. I just took another pill. I'm supposed to call Michael if I'm going to the club, but I honestly don't know if I'm going or not, though I would like to. I just want my stomach to settle damn it.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:08 AM
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I called Michael, and he was on his way to the Adam's Apple with his friends Danny & Jesse. He changed his plans to come with me to Necto, which I didn't really expect him to do, and is picking me up to go to the bar. But now my stomach is feeling even more upset and I won't be able to just leave the bar if I feel ill. I know I should speak up about this and say it would be better for me to just meet them there, but there's a part of me that doesn't want people to know that I'm ill all the time; I don't want to seem like a burden to anyone, and I know that's crazy...but I'm a bit crazy, so it shouldn't be that surprising I feel that way. Hopefully this will all pass.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:44 AM
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My stomach didn't ruin the night after all. Michael arrived and we went to the bar, Danny & Jesse in the backseat. Jesse is staying at Michael's house now, though it's not known if he will move in or not. I guess Scott is NOT moving back in, and David might be moving in with Scott.

Anyways, the bar was fun. Ran into lots of friends: Jinx, Leon, Dug, Jesse (who I'd not recognized with my glasses off), Erica (Wendy's friend), Keevan (who watched our coats) Becky, and others I'm sure. We all had fun I think. There was this one guy that scoped Michael out all night long, which amused me.

After the bar, I wanted to go home, but Micahel wanted me with him, so off we went on some crazy car trip in the rain, with Michael mostly blind, and having to go here and there, and everywhere. It took over 2 hours to get back to my place - we showered the smoke off and I took my prilosec.

In the car I amused myself with texts to and from Mollie.

I have to remember to go to my facebook farm today.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:03 AM
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After the last entry, I took my prilosec. I was starving but wanted to wait before eating, so my meds could kick in. I slept for a few hours, happily entangled with my boyfriend. I woke up around 9 I think. I ate, taking one of my magic pills to assure that I wouldn't be ill, but it again didn't work. All the food came back up. I took a bath. When I got out I was shakey, and Mark was awake so I told him my pills had stopped working; that I've been sick to my stomach every day for several days in a row. My IBS which hasn't been bad in months has also returned, and I'm certain the 2 are connected. He got up and hugged me while I tried not to cry. He told me we'd make an appointment with my GI doctor on Monday. I could tell Mark was worried. When things got bad, shortly before I got my magic pills I was on the verge of suicide. I felt lost as I returned to my room.

I woke up Michael and told him what was going on. I cried. I talked about what my life was like before; about how I was sick all the time, and didn't like people to touch me most of the time; that I couldn't go out very often, and that the trips that he'd planned for us would have to be made without me. I told him I'd been close to suicide before, because of my condition, and how afraid I was that nothing could be done. He handled all this extremely well, saying all the right things, and taking it all in stride. This led to cuddles, and some hot sex. lol. But that so wasn't the point. Mark made sure he was there for me, and making the call, and then Michael let me fall apart, and put the pieces back together. I felt very loved. I'm very, very lucky.

I've been working on they cyber farm on facebook. Mollie & Chris, my nephew Justin, and several other people also have them. It's fun, but I'm slow to learn these kind of sim games, as I have very little experience with them. I'm getting better, I think. I've been doing stuff with that today.

Michael and I slept some more, and he had to get going, so he could get stuff done at his house. Sad to see him go. I won't be seeing him for over a week. He told me he wants to know when my appointment is, because he wants to be there, and if I have the surgery I suspect will be the next step he wants to be there too.

The morning, before I felt sick, was a happy one. I found confirmation pictures of 3 more beloved characters appearing in the final 3 Doctor Who specials for the 10th Doctor - set to air around November, Christmas & New Years.

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Ood Sigma (who made the prophecy of the Doctor's song ending soon in "Planet of the Ood") is said to appear in the next special "The Waters of Mars"; I've seen a photo of this. Also, many fans have sighted John Simm (The Master) in various disguises; I've seen at least 1 picture that I'd say is him. He doesn't seem to appear until the final 2 specials, but more than one fan has noted that the title of this special could be rearranged into the "The Master of Wars" or "Wars of the Master". Though from the trailer for the episode, it would seem to pertain to water and possibly Mars, so I'm not sure that matters.

The lineup for the final 2 specials are what interest me the most:

I've seen pictures of all of these characters:

10
10.5 (the other 10th Doctor)
Captain Jack Harkness
The Master (in some form or another)
Wilfred Mott
Verity Newman / Nurse Joan Redfern
Donna Noble
Sylvia Noble
Luke Smith
Sarah Jane Smith
Jackie Tyler
Rose Tyler

I've not seen pictures of these, but they were reported as having been seen:

Midshipman Frame ("Voyage of the Damned")
A Graske
A Slitheen

It's also been said that Martha Jones returns, and why wouldn't she? But there have been no pictures of this, so it's hard to say one way or the other.

The finale is also said to involve another wedding for Donna (I've seen pictures), the destruction of the inner TARDIS (various reports, including early reports that the 11th Doctor would have a new TARDIS design), the 10th Doctor regenerating into the 11th (various reports and kind of a no-brainer as these are the last installments for the 10th Doctor), & the Journal of Impossible Things (I've seen pictures).

It's also been said that while these actors appear in the finale that it's hard to say in what capacity as there are dreams and such in the finale pertaining to the 10th Doctor's regeneration - some of the previous regenerations have been pretty TRIPPY (See 4th / 5th - and - 5th / 6th).

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:44 PM
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Harry Potter 6 - TV Spots!

How cool are these!?!

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:58 PM
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Short Films I like:

Agent Orange:

Reach:

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:12 PM
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I watched the last 3 episodes of Season 8 of Smallville. It was pretty good. A bit confusing at times; a bit rushed in others, but overall this season was the best one yet IMO. Hopefully next season will be as good.

Michael texted me while I was watching, letting me know that his roomie David actually owns Season 1 of Doctor Who, so he'll be able to watch that when he's done with Season 3 of BSG. Though I'm not sure he's going to want to stop when he finishes Season 3 of BSG.

I ate earlier and didn't get sick; I didn't even take a pill. I think part of my problems lately could be from eating too much. Not sure though, and it's too soon to be sure. But so far, I seem to be ok, and that's good news.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:58 PM
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   Sunday, May 17, 2009

After the last entry, I watched 2 episodes of Desperate Housewives; I've now seen more than I sent to Mollie. I was struck by the fact that the last episode that I sent her, which was part 2 of a 2-parter that was separated by weeks of reruns was a really nice place for her break in episodes to happen as it's more a closure kind of episode and not one that leaves you hanging. Nice.

I slept after that 2nd DH episode until about 6am.

As far as television to send Mollie, I have 3 episodes of Desperate Housewives, 3 episodes of Dollhouse, and a few Grahm Norton episodes... + 3 DS9 discs. I'll soon have more to share. I can't remember if she watched Dexter or not, but we have all 3 seasons of that (which I've not watched yet).

Mark came in to talk to me for a bit. He said he watched and liked "Underworld: Rise of the Lycans" - saying he liked it better than the 2nd one, when I kind of like the 2nd one more than the first, if not than just as much as the first one. So I'm not sure what that means for me. He also watched the videos on my blog from yesterday, saying he liked "Reach" but that I only like "Agent Orange" because it's about Shawn Foreman - which I'd never thought about, and disagree with - I love the direction and the look of it. That it now reminds me of Shawn is completely because of Mark. lol

I read the news and my e-mail. I sent some friend requests on Facebook & Myspace...and I worked on my cyber facebook farm. Friends that read this, that have been sent Farm requests - please join up and send me fruit trees. Friends that already have farms - send me fruit trees! They seem like a good farm thing to have. :-0)

The pilot episode for the remake of my favorite childhood series "V" (which stars Wash & Inara from Firefly) has been greenlit is a limited tv series!!! I hope it's good!

----

I'm fine on my own; I really am...I feel better than I have in days, but I wish Michael was here to share it with me.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:17 AM
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Chris helped me out with my Cyber Farm. She gave me lots of pointers, and also let me harvest her massive crops. This makes sense for her, because you get more money for your crops if you hire someone to harvest them, and it made sense for me, because I get like 50% of the prophets when she sells them, so I made a BUNCH of cash. When my arm is in order and I have a lot of crops I'll return the favor. ;-0)

My stomach feels odd, but not exactly upset. I'm hoping it just me being paranoid and everything is fine. We'll see.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:59 AM
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I had a really nice chat with this girl I went to school with, Joelle G*u*r*n*o*e*. She commented on something of mine on facebook that was pretty graphic, and we went from there. Turns out she's very gay friendly, and a lawyer. Nice. She even suggested we hang out sometime this summer. Sounds cool.

Also traded messages with Stacy Groff. Another name from the past. And again with the gay friendly theme. Nice.

Sadly, I have a bit of a headache. I'm gonna try to shake that.

I wonder how much BSG Michael watched last night?

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:10 PM
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   Monday, May 18, 2009

I worked on the cyber farm today. I also watched 2 new episodes of Graham Norton (all caught up on that for now). I talked on the phone with Michael; his friend Jesse spent the night in his bed, which made me slightly uncomfortable so that's going to stop. And that's about all that happened yesterday. I'm exhausted though, and thankfully I didn't feel ill.

Now I'm just waiting a few minutes for my Cyber Grapes to be ready for harvest, then I'll have someone harvest those for me, plow the fields and head to bed. lol

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:21 AM
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I slept until about 6am.

I harvested more grapes and strawberries on my farm. Planted more grapes. Grapes only take 4 hours to harvest. And I'm planting those while I wait for these other crops (Tomatoes, Rice, Wheat) to ripen so I can plant a huge crop that will be ready to harvest in a day or two. I also helped out on peoples' farms, sent a neighbor request to Michael, and left him a note with some helpful tips for the game.

I read the news. Apparently Star Trek came in 2nd at the box office by a slim margin, and did better than expected business. In fact, in it's 2nd weekend, Star Trek took more money than any other Trek did during it's opening weekend. lol.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:17 AM
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Still working on the farm. It's nice. It distracts me from all the drama I'm currently going through for financial aid. The medical coverage is screwy and we're trying to figure that out and I have to wait for a call later, which always makes me nervous because I don't know when I should sleep. And I'm tired.

And I miss Michael.

And I'm horny. lol

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:07 AM
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I have to harvest my farm around 4pm.

I got that call, and I'm pretty sure we're getting the runaround as far as answers are concerned. They should have a website with the answers for this stuff me thinks.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:47 AM
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I'm bored.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:25 PM
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I got some nice Facebook & text messages from Michael.

I got my skill level up to Pro on Wii Tennis!!!

We're getting the runaround on my health benefits with the state saying it's a county thing, and the county saying it's a state thing. Apparently they are assigning me a doctor and if I don't like the doc I can switch. The thing is I only just found a doctor that I like and I don't want to lose him, so I'm fighting to find a way to see him. I don't want to get all stressed out about searching for a doctor again!!!

Ugh.

I'm bored. And I miss Michael way more than I usually do. Usually, I think of him every once in awhile, and I'm fine, but today I miss him really bad. Maybe because I know that he's going away for the weekend, and I won't be seeing him. Maybe that's a good thing though, as Memorial Day Weekend tends to swamp my brain with too many memories to process...

It might also be good to help me get over some trust issues. Michael has this friend named Jesse, who slept in Michael's bed with him the other night...and this boy is going on this trip with Michael this weekend (as are several other friends) - and most of me trusts him when he says nothing happened with this guy and nothing will happen, but the other part of me remembers guys like Gene Warrick and Travis Kelly who screwed me over in such situations numerous times, so all these red flags go up and I feel...insecure and vulnerable, and I've avoided situations where I'll feel that way for some time now, but either he'll cheat or he won't, and there's not much I can do about it. I have to let this happen, yet it hurts part of me; it's painful reliving the past through current circumstances, even if history isn't repeating itself through the actions of my boyfriend - all the feelings that I felt in the previous experiences keep coming back to haunt me and it's very much like having a panic attack; it's this overwhelming tidal wave of emotion that leaves me feeling helpless and overly sensitive. But I don't want to be the boyfriend that's constantly worried about my partner...but at this point that's what I am. And it sucks.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:49 PM
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I watched "Underworld: Rise of the Lycans", which is mostly a prequel to the first Underworld movie, though there are sequel elements to "Underworld: Evolution" in the story of the Werewolves and the birth of the Lycans - and there's an annoying voiceover that pretty much ruins a huge reveal in the first film, so while this one is a prequel, it should be viewed third. But there's a problem with that too, as I don't like this one nearly as much as the other two. I liked the first one and loved the 2nd one. If this one had been a true prequel, then in chronological order they'd get better as they go...only now because of some crappy stylistic choices, it can't be watched in that order. Ugh.

There's another series of films that I like in which they came out in an odd order, but chronilogically they get better as they go:

Hannible Rising (2007)
was barely watchable.

Red Dragon (2002)
was ok.

Silence of the Lambs (1991)
was riveting.

Hannible (2001)
was orgasmic. The best dark romantic comedy I've ever seen.

I always hoped for a final film, with a bit of closure, but maybe it's best that they don't do that - I'd hate for the final film in the series to suck.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:38 PM
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The cyber-farm continues to flourish. I'm helping Michael with his farm today, and he's progressing well. I like it.

Mark's gonna try to sort out the medical bs tomorrow. Apparently the state fucked up. Big surprise. Big headache.

My mom left me a message saying she needed to talk to me. I called her and apparently my grandparents want me to sing at their wedding anniversary, when they renew their vows. I'm to sing with my sister Janice and they've picked a song but I have no clue what it is. It makes me nervous, but at the same time it's kind of blessing as I think it might interest Mark into going, even though he boycotts anything to do with weddings. I'm going to see if Michael can go too, though I don't know if he can get a saturday off - it's June 13th.

I have to finish getting dressed. I'm going grocery shopping, then getting some LC with Mark. I was thinking of going to Necto tonight, but I don't see that happening unless I get some sleep, and I'm running out of time.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:32 PM
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Mark & I just got home from grocery shopping. My bridge card worked perfectly. I also got a book from my childhood (well a book with several books from my childhood inside it) & some wine. Mark paid for the wine; I paid for the book. I'm sleepy.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:21 PM
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   Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I fell asleep last night about 10 minutes before my crops were ready to be harvested. I woke up at 5am, thinking I'd been out for 10 minutes (and not 2 hours & 20 minutes), confused and frustrated over how my crops could be dead...until I noticed the time. Damn it. I'll have to work to get back to where I was in the game. :-0(

But the worst part is I didn't get to talk on the phone with Michael last night. Though I'm not sure I'd have been able to stay awake for that anyways, as he got out of work after 1am, and then had plans to go on an errand for a friend after that, instead of going home like he usually does. He's such a good guy. I texted him as I was drifting off, at 2:40am according to my phone.

Here's another new tv spot for Harry Potter:

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:15 AM
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I've fixed the crop problem, or at least survived it; it was a setback; nothing more. After my next harvest (at around 3) I'm going to plant a cash crop that won't be ready to harvest until Friday. I'll still build up Michael's farm, though maybe not as vigoriously.

I had a headache, but it's gone now.

I also updated a BSG section of my webpage...separating the BSG saga into 3 basic pieces. You can see this page here.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:53 PM
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I've won 7 of the 8 Farm Town trophies! I'm now on level 14. And even though I've just planted a disturbingly expensive cash crop (21,600 coins), I've still got 47,372 in coins (the currency of the game). I've got 11 neighbors, and of those neighbors, the closest one to that amount of cash is Chris, with 19,562 (and she's been playing for a lot longer and is on level 24). Of my 11 neighbors there are only 3 that are on a higher level than me. Mollie is just behind me, but she'll most likely overtake me now that I'm taking a break for 3 days while I wait for my coffee to grow. If I can just remember to harvest my crop on Friday I should make a good amount of coinage. ;-0)

Mark took care of my governmental woes. I should still be able to see my doctor, and get food, and save Mark a bunch of money. Problem solved, for now.

I'm tired, but I'm hungry. I'm going to eat.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:29 PM
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Ok. I can't sleep and I don't know why, as I'm exhausted. I played some Wii Sports to maybe help exhaust me even more. I lost my pro status in Tennis, then got it back, then lost it, then got it back, then lost it. Then, unexpectedly, I beat my record at bowling (255 now) and got my experience points (or whatever they are) up to record numbers as well. I guess these means that I'm playing those 2 sports pretty well. Yay.

Oh. My phone is blinking. Missed some texts from Michael. There. I've now replied. He might be able to stop by tonight. That would be nice, except I'll probably be sleeping. I'm so fucking tired. But I want to see my Michael.

I have the urge to watch Donnie Darko, and Showgirls. This is what sleep deprivation does to you!!! lol.

So...I've wanted to avoid S. Darko (the crappy looking sequel to Donnie Darko) but I just read that Catherine Wheel ("Black Metallic") & Dead Can Dance ("The Carnival is Over"!!!) are on the soundtrack! Why must they use my favorite tunes in crappy movies. Of course the first one had my favorite tunes in a good movie...I seriously had every song on that soundtrack but one - and it was a cover, and I had the original!

My brain needs slumber.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:41 PM
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How cool is this?

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:56 PM
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   Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Michael called me last night around 11:37 and told me I should rest; get some sleep. He's so thoughtful; putting my needs before his own. I went right to sleep after the call; sleeping from around 11:40pm - 7am. The only thing that could have made the night more perfect: Michael cuddles. Even after sleeping so well I just took a short nap so I can be wide awake and ready for Michael, who should be here around 8pm. I can't wait to see him!

Here's the trailer for the new V:

It looks amusing enough. Yet it doesn't look as good as the original, which I guess isn't that surprising - but I was expecting a bit more from this. The original V miniseries stands up today, extremely well. It's sequel ("The Final Battle") slightly less so, and the TV Series that followed barely stood up when it was airing. But the original had a depth to it and the special effects for the time were outstanding and look good even today, 26 years later. This new incarnation feels very sci-fi / Syfy; very crappy movie of the week - with heavier religious themes this time around, which creeped into 'The Final Battle', and made that one seem pretty silly. The religious themes in this one look like they're handled better, but if the rallying cry of the resistance in this new movie is a religious one, I'll be more than a little disappointed. Hopefully the movie is better than the trailer would make it seem.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:36 PM
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I shaved and showered. Michael's here now; he's about to shower. I'm thinking of going to Pizza House. I've not left the house since Monday evening.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:04 PM
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   Thursday, May 21, 2009

Been up since around 9am I think. Michael & I did go to Pizza House last night (after some hot sex) and ate well, and spoke well, and had a lovely time. But stepping back a bit, after we'd parked the car and were walking to Pizza House, we were walking past Good Time Charly's and someone called my name, and I assumed it was Ben or Mike, or Jeff; people that I used to work with at Hollywood, and have all worked at this bar at some point, but it was actually Philip Jacobus!?! I had just been thinking about him on the previous Friday, and it turns out he's living in Ann Arbor not that far from where I live, really. It was great to see him. He was still there when we walked back to the car, and said hello again. I guess he lives with his gf, and he looks good, so hopefully things ARE good with him. I didn't like him when I first met him, as he was kind of an ass, but then we had this moment in Virginia, years ago, and we've gotten on ever since.

Anyways, I did some Facebook stuff when we got home, and then we went to bed. Woke up early this morning. Michael had to leave for work. Hope he's having a great day. Our internet connection has been screwy since this morning, but it finally seems to have calmed down.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:16 PM
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On the list of extras for BSG 4.5 there is no sign of the "The Face of the Enemy" webisodes. I'd noticed this last week, or the week before, whenever the news arrived in my inbox, but I assumed it was a mistake. I mean, when the press release for Season 3 was released there was no mention of the webisodes for that season, but they still appeared on the DVDs. Hopefully this is also the case. Not including them would suck.

I've done almost nothing today. I feel sort of crabby about that, but I'm not sure what I should be doing.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:23 PM
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   Friday, May 22, 2009

Slept well last night. Having an odd day. I watched what I thought were the final 2 episodes of Season 5 Desperate Housewives, only to find out there are 2 more I don't have - at first thinking that the end of the season was very anti-climactic! lol I have them now. Perhaps I'll watch them, but I'm really tired...not sure I can stay awake watching them. We'll see.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:15 PM
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My memory is a curse sometimes. It traps me, and torments me...yet I remember good times just as well. 15 years ago today I was working at Target; I shaved my head for the first time, met my cousin Mike's girlfriend (now his wife); outed him in front of many of our relatives, and went to the bar where I met my friend Paul Ferguson. 9 years ago today Mollie, Carrie & Adam & I got a flat tire on the way to some cabin up state and were trapped in historical christian hell; at least the hot tub was fun. And...I don't remember the year, but it was after 1986 & before 1991, my cousin Jeff was in an accident this weekend and while he survived he's never been the same...and I lost the guy that gave me my first kiss. All of these memories are swirling in my head. Some of them are funny. Some of them are erotic. Some of them are painful. When I remember those times, I remember who I was then, and the early memories are...like being thrown down in a basement that once held you prisoner. This is all mixed together with my usual wishy washy lack of ability to plan things, and skipping out on the weekend with Michael, even though I did want to spend the weekend with him. So many ghosts are haunting me at once that it's overwhelming me. I was just laying in my bed, crying. And I know it's beautiful outside, and that people are out enjoying the holiday weekend, but...I feel trapped in the past...and I'm not sure how to escape. Part of me even likes being trapped and visiting these old times. I have a bottle of wine that I got the other day and I have this romantic image of me drinking this wine and toasting Jeff & my 1994 self, and my fun memories of Mollie & Carrie & Adam. But I could do that with Michael, couldn't I? Except I don't have any clothes to wear, and I haven't packed or shaved or showered or planned for any of this... I feel...sad. I feel...it's hard to explain, but I used to feel this way, a lot, when I was younger and had very little control over my life, and now...it's like I'm stuck in my mind...and I'm drifting. I'm not depressed exactly; just caught in this current of memory. It will pass. I just wish I could have avoided it altogether.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:12 PM
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I'm not going on the trip with Michael. That's fine. If it was meant to happen it wouldn't be that difficult. I think. lol. And I've decided to chill with the drama. I'm going to relax and finish Desperate Housewives.

Here's a random bit of Riker / Picard slash to scare Mollie:

And some Kirk / Spock:

While these are youtube videos I found them on this guy's blog, who really likes dishes. I tried to find his e-mail address to contact him, but I had no luck. He seems cool though.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:43 PM
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   Saturday, May 23, 2009

Michael & his friends (2 of his roomies ended up going) all made it up to their camping trip. Michael got drunk, left me several texts, a message on Facebook (delivered by his roomie David), and a phone call. The last message said he was going to bed. Something I'm surprised I haven't done, as I've been in bed by this time every night this week.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:49 AM
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   Sunday, May 24, 2009

Saturday, I woke up with a slight headache, that got worse and worse as the day went on. In that time I read a bunch of reviews for 'Caprica' making me want to watch it again, but I'd loaned it out to Bryan, so I gave him a call to see if I could drop by and pick it up. He was out with his Dad (who's visiting Michigan for the first time since 1976) & Chris, but said he'd call me when they were close to home.

The headache got MUCH worse. I had taken some generic pain killer earlier (I've been hoarding my Midrin), but was forced to bring out the big guns, as looking at any bright light was killing me. I slept for about an hour, in which I missed the call from Bryan.

Eventually my painkiller kicked in, even though I could still feel that the headache was there, it wasn't as troublesome; this was a monster migrain. I was so doped up that I could no longer drive, which I was disappointed by as I still wanted to get 'Caprica' so Mark offered to drive me. Bryan was no longer home though, so we needed to kill some time, so we got some minor grocery items and then went to Little Caesars where I ate the best pizza I've had in ages. I took a final Midrin during my meal and that eventually killed the headache, thank Joss!!!

After LC, we drove out to Bryan's apartment complex to wait as according to his timetable we'd be getting there about the same time, or shortly after them. They weren't there though, and I left him a message. Mark & I talked to our friend Carrie on speaker phone while we waited. My headache was completely gone by this time, though I was still flying high. Eventually Carrie had to go, but right then Bryan & company got home so that was fine.

Bryan was in good spirits, as not only is his dad in town, but he has 5 days off from his job, which he loathes. I didn't want to intrude on his visit, and only meant to get 'Caprica' and leave, but Robert had supposed to have joined them for Euchre, but had backed out at the last second, so they needed a fourth player, and invited us to stay.

Bryan's father Fico(? - he's Peruvian) was cool. He took the gay thing in stride and we all got along very well. The Eurchre and the friendship and conversation were just what I needed, and left me feeling like the day which had started out feeling stolen and wasted was working out after all. It was great to see Bryan in such a good mood, and Mark & Chris and Bryan's dad...it was just a perfect moment.

I texted Michael to share this moment with him, so he wouldn't worry that I was on my own, or that my headache was still bothering me (we spoke briefly, earlier that day); he responded that he was jealous. I thought he was being playful. I took a break from the cards, so I could jump on Chris's computer to harvest my farm, and that's when Michael texted me back, going into this mad jealous rant (that I won't go into detail about here per his request:) ending with him asking me to keep this to myself - only I was reading the message outloud to Chris and Bryan, expecting the message to read as something about how much he loves me. So that was upsetting, and embarassing, and very nearly killed my fun for the night. Bryan & Chris were cool and handled it as true friends would, supporting me, Michael, and Mark, and not judging, and this brought me back from the brink of a staggering depression. It haunted my thoughts now & again the rest of the evening / morning, but for the most part I didn't let it spoil my mood.

When we eventually called it a night after much fun, with tired irritated (from Cats) eyes - Bryan mentioned a BBQ at his mothers today, and invited us to join. When we got home, I read some messages and then went to bed. I had some messages on my phone from Michael, but wasn't sure I could respond, so put it off.

I woke up around 6am. My stomach was slightly upset, but not terribly so. That passed in due course. There was another text from Michael, but it was at about 3am or something, so I figured he was probably asleep now. I contemplated taking a bath. I could hear Mark playing his video game downstairs (which he'd started playing when we got home) and worried that I'd woken him, but it turned out that he played it all night.

I read the news, and worked on my farm, and found this cool Doctor Who thing that you can see at the end of this entry. Mark was getting ready for bed, and asked if Michael was joining us for the BBQ, but Michael had texted that he wouldn't be back until 5 or 6, and the BBQ is at 2, so I told Mark that he couldn't make it. Mark asked me to wake him up about 1pm. But he has an alarm clock, which I pointed out, and I'm just planning on sleeping as long as I can, and if I wake up in time we'll got to the BBQ and if not, then we'll skip it.

I don't know what I'm going to say to Michael. We obviously have to talk, but I don't feel like talking at the moment, and I didn't feel like it last night. I can understand his feelings to a degree, and in many respects I share them - and we both have reasons for the way we feel. But at some point you have to allow for the fact that your partner is going to do things without you and if you can't trust them then it's pointless being together. I mean, thinking about Michael going away for the weekend with a bunch of other gay men (some of whom harbor desires for him) wasn't easy for me with my history of men that cheat while telling me they won't, but I came to the conclusion that either he will or he won't, and I have to be there with him at all times making sure that he won't, that I'd be better off alone; that's not the kind of relationship I want. He will cheat or he won't cheat and there's nothing I can do about it. And the reverse is also true, but last night we were off kilter, with his jealous streak throwing us off balance, because I was trusting him, and he wasn't trusting me - and he almost ruined a night of joyful friendship... And his reaction is making me question some of things he has told me... I don't blame him for having certain feelings, but what he chooses to do with them in relation to me is now irking me. I don't feel like writing about this anymore. I'm going back to bed.

But first...A Doctor Who / Torchwood Treat with absolutely ZERO spoilers for upcoming episodes:

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:48 AM
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   Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Sunday, Mark & I went to a BBQ and Diana's house. We saw Di, Robert, Chris, Bryan, Chris's friend & her daughter (I always forget their names), Bryan's dad, Chris's mom...and an Aunt Sophie? It was all good. I was tired; didn't get much sleep the night before.

Michael came over Sunday night and stayed until Tuesday morning. It was a great visit. I love sleeping with Michael; cuddling and kissing. We watched the first episode of Firefly. Lots of talking. We played Wii Sports. We went to Plymoth where I met his dad (Gary); his mom (Vicky); his younger sister Sarah; his grandmother Thelma; his older sister Rhonda; his niece (I forget her name), and Rhonda's 'mother-in-law' who seemed to rock. We were going to visit Janice & the kids but Janice wasn't feeling well. We also went to LC, Burger King, Dairy Queen, Baskin Robbins... We went to Michael's house, where I got to meet his roomie David, who seems pretty cool (he likes Buffy & Doctor Who), and Jesse was there as well. It was all good. ;-0)

The only down side really, was that Michael had a bad sunburn from his trip up North, and also had a really sore foot from a reaction to the dye in black socks, that he's required to wear for work. He called off of work today and went to the doctor and they ordered him off his feet until Friday - gave him some ointment for the pain, and some advice on how to avoid it in the future. This sucks, but it also means I'll probably get to see more of Michael at some point in the near future.

Today it was confirmed that the 10th Doctor will appear in one of the 6 two-part stories in the 3rd Season of The Sarah Jane Adventures! It was also revealed that the Judoon will appear as well, and that separate from that, the 10th Doctor will also get another animated special, like Season 3's "The Infinite Quest" later in the year. Nice.

My cyber farm continues to expand, but a bit slower than it was.

I'm kind of sleepy now.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:19 PM
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   Wednesday, May 27, 2009

I rewatched "Caprica". I liked it even more the 2nd time, picking up on details I'd missed the first time around. Things like the musical cue when Joseph admits to Willy that their family name is Adama; it's the same music that plays over similar father & son moments between Bill & Lee in BSG. All of the music is beautiful. The performances are breathtaking, and leave me wanting more. To see this piece of BSG history with Pyramid, Caprica, Taurons, Gemenon, Cylons, Joseph & Bill Adama...it's just wonderfully handled in my opinion, and I'm looking forward to the Caprica series very much.

I also read that the Doctor's appearance on Sarah Jane, and the animated Who are just 2 of 3 special 10th Doctor appearances coming up. I'm thinking this probably means a 'Children in Need' charity scene in November, but it might be something else. No matter what it is, that sounds like good news to me.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:21 AM
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I woke up sort of randomly, with my stomach in knots. It seems to have calmed down a bit now. We'll see how it goes from here.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:25 AM
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Today was touch and go, stomach wise. I seem to have mangaged. I had to take my pills today to pull myself out of it, which makes me exhausted, and I slept way more than I should have, which means my sleeping at night pattern, whcih I was enjoying, has now ended.

Jennifer Greiner is dead (her obit). I knew her as Stormy Grieshaber. I met her through my older sister Janice. She came to visit our house once, back when we had a pool. We got along better than I would have expected at that time, and we talked about music; we both loved Arcadia. And that's really the only memory I have of her, except random mentions by Janice. I now learn that my mother once gave her a job, and that I've known her sister in passing (as my cousin Michael's awesome wife) for years without ever knowing it. There's some sort of wake for her, or something, at my family's church. How odd. I smile for her, and hope if she exists, she is well. And if she doesn't, then I'm happy to have met her briefly when she did exist. I enjoy memories of people who have passed through my life. Kind memories are a joy in brain like mine, that seldom forgets.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:38 PM
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   Thursday, May 28, 2009

Michael is coming over. He's bringing BSG Season 3, which he finished. He's started watching Roswell; he bought the first 2 seasons the other day. He's borrowing BSG 4.5. He's going to be going through some money problems soon, so we'll be seeing less of each other, which sucks. Perhaps I'll get more reading done. I've been reading this tiny little Star Trek book for like a month now, when I'd have finished it in one day, or less than a week at most before. I'm getting so far behind on everything.

I've not heard from Mollie. I hope she's enjoying the dvds I sent. She was about to tackle Doctor Who & BSG last we spoke.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:19 AM
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I just started seeing spots, and my right arm just went numb. This is bad. Monster Migrain alert. I've already taken my Midrin. Hopefully it... Hard to type with tunnel vision and a funky acid trip monitor.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:08 AM
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Michael left a bit ago. My midrin saved the day (night?) and we had a very relaxing visit. I probably won't be seeing him again until June 4 (his 37th birthday).

I accidentally read a Doctor Who Spoiler, which if it proves to be true, is the saddest thing I've ever heard!

Also, there are rumors that they are making an Alien prequel. If that's true, it doesn't bother me. But there are other rumors that they're actually remaking Alien, which is not ok. lol It was announched sometime ago that they're remaking the Predator franchise, and that's fine with me, but the ALIEN series are golden.

In better AVP news, the long awaited (by me) 3rd AVP PC game is in the works and will be available next year, apparently. My friend Mollie and I used to play the original. My friends & I still sometimes play the sequel; the expansion pack for that game came out in September 2001. It's about time that a new installment comes out. I was shocked that they didn't put one out while the movies were in the theaters but one never appeared, until now. Here's a link with more info, including AWESOME images from the game. The new game is made by the company that made the first game, which I liked more than the sequel. The sequel had much better graphics, and added fun things to the MP games like the alien lifecycle, but it also reduced the size of the arenas and balanced out the 3 species in such a way that limited the fun in my opinion - plus they got rid of the co-op mode in which 2 or more players could fight off a horde of simulated aliens.

Anyways. I need to eat.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:49 PM
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2 months until the BSG 4.5 DVD's arrive.

There are things that I want to buy that I probably shouldn't waste my money on right now. But I want them. Grrr.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:23 PM
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   Friday, May 29, 2009

I slept well. I need to get ready and go to Stormy's wake. Here's the new trailer for Torchwood Season 3:

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:40 PM
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   Sunday, May 31, 2009

I arrived on time for Stormy's wake on Friday. My sister Janice was there, with her friend Becky Davenport (that's her maiden name; I don't know her married name). Stormy was with Janice & Becky when I met her. My cousin Michael was there as he was Stormy's brother-in-law. Cloudy was there and we spoke. I met Stormy's mother. Jalynn was there, and Dadjer(?). I think it all went well, though I really loathed the religious parts; her Uncle quoted the 23rd Psalm and then bits from Revelations; I almost left. Later people were encouraged to speak about memories of Stormy and I told my story, and was thanked by several family members. It went very well.

Janice told me some disturbing news about Jordan. He ran away from home one day (for 4 hours), with no shoes or shirt, and he let some guy pick him up (a stranger), who thankfully didn't murder Jordan - but when Janice confronted him with how dangerous this could be, Jordan said he didn't care. He's also threatened suicide about some things. I'm so worried about him.

On my way home I stopped at the bank, and LC. Mark called me while I was eating my crazy bread in the car. He was fixing some medical government drama for me, and wanted me to bring him some crazy bread. I was done with mine, but had 3 sticks left; I gave mine to a homeless man hanging out by LC, and then got Mark's and came home.

Friday night I was in a really odd mood. Like I wasn't actually living my life, but just sort of watching it happen. Later Michael came over and it was terrible. I said and did things. Inside I was screaming at myself to shutup, but I couldn't. It was disturbing. The night didn't scare him away, but it scared me plenty.

On Saturday, Mark & I went to LC, game stop, and to visit Michael at work. It was a good day. I napped when we got home. Played some video games. Talked to Michael on the phone. Went to bed around 1am, Sunday morning.

Woke up around 10am I think. I worked on my cyber farm, which continues to amuse me, though my goals have changed. I no longer care about what level I'm at (the things I wanted unlocked all have been), and now I'm just trying to make cash, and not work my whole farm in one sitting (which isn't fun anymore, as my farm is huge and takes a LONG time to work - hours). So my goals there have changed, and so the game is still fun. One thing, Chris used to have me harvest her fields all the time which really helped me out, but the other day she needed some help and harvested my field which took her from $6 to over $1,000 so I was able to give back which was nice. ;-0)

It's been confirmed that "The Face of the Enemy" webisodes are NOT on the upcoming dvds, which is really fracking annoying. And I'm not the only one who thinks so as seen here, here & here. I have copies for me and my friends, but the quality isn't the same. I'm hoping they'll be included on the dvd of "The Plan". They kind of go well together, as both were done after the series; both use flashbacks to give us information that we didn't have before; and both were written by Jane Espenson. So hopefully that happens.

Then I got a text from Michael from last night. Apparently Jesse's friend Caleb (who is also friends with Jesse's now ex-lover Phillip) is the same Caleb that I met at Necto last fall and sometimes randomly chat with. We were supposed to hook up but never did. He's hot; like 18; a top and I thought he was yummy, but the timing thing never worked out. No big. Michael gets jealous though and worries because I know so many people. Where as I worry because Michael doesn't "know' a bunch of guys, so much as he just had sex with them and moved on, which means that potentially he could just have sex with any guy and then think nothing of it, while that's far less likely with me. So...we have trust issues, but we talk about this. We spoke about it 2 minutes after I got the text (which he'd sent while I was asleep), when he called me on his way to work. He's at work now, but is coming over tonight about 1am.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:14 PM
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