Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Rough couple of days.

Sunday I randomly found another man Michael had an affair with; this one in the August / September range. #14 was fucked bare in Michael's garage in Taylor. Hello to the pain. I went to Michael's and talked it out. I wept. I cried about the past and the future and all the things that have been bothering me. It was hard, but needed to be done. As I'm sure it will have to be done again.

Monday passed in a daze.

Michael joined me around 1am on Tuesday. We slept a bit, but I woke up around 3:30am feeling hungry and jazzed. Michael won't wake. I'm hoping the morning will be one of cuddles and Whoniverse Episodes.

But after all this sadness, there is joy.

Torchwood is coming back for a 13 episode 4th Season! Will it air in 2010? Probably, but maybe not. Still; it's in the works.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:50 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

woke from dreams of Cynid Lauper, Pee-Wee Herman, and playing a Star Wars / Marvel Comics version of Stratego with real vampires. My brain is fun.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:06 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Wednesday, December 2, 2009

More pain. Some beatiful moments. Lots more crying. So many tears. Confusion. Lonliness.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know what to do.

I feel completely lost.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:24 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Friday, December 4, 2009

Thursday. A specialist told me my jaw may never open beyond what it does right now. No more sex or food for Jason; at least not to the same degree of pleasure; not to the same degree of joy. My simple pleasures have been stolen from me; perhaps forever. I'm very afraid. I'm very afraid. I'm very afraid. Laughter and singing and yawning or coughing - the simple fun of sneezing hurts me now; tires me. I can't imagine lasting that long in such a state, but perhaps I'm stronger than even I know? Or perhaps I'm not. We shall see.

I'm grateful for my book; my friends and family; for Doctor Who and Glee and Caprica. All of the things that distract me from my pain.

"The sweet sound of suffering."

I've shed more tears in the last 3 months, then in the last several years combined. Seriously. I think I've cried every day this week. Sometimes, openly, in front of Mark or Michael, and other times, very alone in the dark of my room. Just 4 months ago I think I wondered if I'd ever shed tears again in my life; I knew sadness and the occasional misting of the eyes...but tears were like some forgotten poetry that would never come when I called...never to return, until they did. Now they refuse to leave, but I'm grateful for them as well. Tears are magic.

I wish I could get in touch with Mollie. I'd tell her to track down this Abarat book; the first of 5, with only 2 currently available. This doesn't trouble me. I see myself rereading this one a year or two from now. And picking up the 2nd volume the next time I'm at the book store.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:37 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [1 Comments]

Watched "The Five Doctors"; thinking of continuing Classic Who from there.

Fell asleep. Many times. Not during the movie. Last dream was an amusement park; went with Janice, just her and me. Woke while on a ride that was the line for another ride, the platform turning; someone asking me how many feet I was holding on with as I was climbing the structure as it started moving. I woke up laughing while saying "I only have the two." - just before that I realized we'd met the the group in front of us on the plane, and the group to the right of them the day before, and they were all together which made us all happy. I was with a transgendered boy (FTM) who was not my boyfriend, as he was in love with a woman that he'd dated when he was a she, and before a nightmare encounter earlier in the night. Strange. Fun to wake up laughing.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:59 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Saturday, December 5, 2009

Michael arrived shortly after 6pm. He went to bed around 6:30pm. I stayed up to watch next Classic Who episode ("Warriors of the Deep, Part I"); #614 by my reckoning; "The Five Doctors constituting numbers 610 - 613. This latest episode brings back the Sea Devils (which I've not seen before, but were introduced in a 3rd Doctor story) while introducing their relatives, the Silurians, who are rumored to feature in the next season of Who (Season 32 of the Whoniverse).

I joined Michael in bed and slept and snuggled. Got up briefly to do the farm thing and take my meds, then back to bed. Had strange dreams. Dreamt I was talking to Andrew Black at my parents' house, which was very different from their real home, and yet somehow the same. I was talking to him about the different ailments I've developed in the last 3 months. Woke up from that one around 1am.

Here's a station identification featuring the 10th Doctor:

And a trailer for upcoming Christmas programing that features scenes from David Dennant's final specials (beware of Spoilers):

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:41 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I have a new pain in my groin area, just to the upper right (my right) of my penis / scrotum. Perhaps my prostitius hasn't been defeated, but merely retreated to another piece of my anatomy? I don't know. But it's been off and on for the last 8 hours or so. I'm telling you, my body is falling apart. I can't get one piece fixed before the next starts ripping to shreds. I'm scared.

I played some Euchre & Safari Majong on Pogo to distract me. Now I'm downloading the 2 latest Dollhouse episodes, though I've not watched the previous 3. They're airing 2 episodes a night for the first 3 Friday's of December. The final 3 episodes will air in January; my guess is they'll skip Christmas & New Year's Day, and come back 1 episode a night until the 22nd, which is when Dollhouse is scheduled to end (with "Epitaph II: Return"), and Caprica is set to begin.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:58 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I random shooting pain in my groin switched sides before disappearing beneath the surface of me. My belly is upset; possibly just gassy. I don't want to feel anything pressed against it; even clothing, so my final HIV test was cancelled for now. Michael will be tested this week anyways, and he comes up negative, then surely I am as well, as I've not been with anyone other than him since January.

We watched Torchwood, Doctor Who, and Torchwood again. A good mix of stories and characters. In the last 2 episodes alone we got 10, Donna, Rose, Martha & the death of Owen...or the first death as the case may be. Michael is now very into the shows, and only 4 episodes behind where my friends Mike & Emily got with my DVD's. I'll return the DVDs to them when my Michael is finished with them, with even more episodes for them to devour.

Michael did his best to cheer me, and he did. Being around him is fun, but maddening, as I want him inside me, but can't have him. My throat aches to be filled, yet my jaws refuse him entry. Michael raised my interest with a new procedure; new for him, and I made him moan and writhe and cum. It amused me.

The shower afterwards was sweet; kind; loving. Later we read chapters of our book while Mark showered and dressed. Mark & Michael left to go to the storage unit, and then to LC to get me crazy bread. I type this out, waiting for food, farmtown crops, and the finished version of Dreamland, which has yet to be posted.

I need to harvest my crops in about an hour.

I got the 2 new episodes of Dollhouse last night. I was right about the upcoming schedule. 7 episodes remain. It sounds like the series will have an actual finale; an ending; finality. That's all that I ask. Dollhouse isn't as good as Firefly, or Buffy or Angel, but it has moments where you can see what Joss was trying to tell us, and those moments are brilliant. I almost wish I hadn't started watching it until I had them all so I could watch it in one long stream as I intended to do with BSG (though I was twarted by Season 4 being split in two, plus "The Plan", plus "Caprica"); as I intend to do with LOST.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:56 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Michael returned with crazy bread and demands for more Who so we watched 'The Fires of Pompeii', 'Dead Man Walking' and 'Planet of the Ood'. Michael is trying to give me space to find my happiness without him around, so he headed home. We chatted online and had some sexy fun. Then he watched 'Eye of the Gorgon, Parts I & II' and is now watching 'The Sontaran Stratagem' (Part I of III), and intends to watch the other 2 parts.

Our online sexual activity is taking an odd turn, which might be extremely hot, or extremely upsetting. It could go either way at this point, so we're trying to ease into it. I've never been afraid to explore my sexuality, but this depends greatly on another person's actions...to a much larger degree than anything else I've ever attempted, which is both exciting and scary. I'll have to take it slow I think.

Anyways...Michael is watching telly; I'm drinking water as I fear I'm a bit dehydrated...Mark is working on E-Bay stuff...and my friend Mark just said hello to me on yahoo so I might chat with him for a bit before reading, or taking a nap.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:45 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Sunday, December 6, 2009

I said hello to Mark Guzman. Continued to chat with Michael for a bit. I worked on Michael's Farm Town. Then read the next 2 chapters of my book before taking a short nap. Woke up...saw my cute boyfriend on cam and chatted him up some more. He's still watching Season 30 of the Whoniverse. He's over half way through the season now. In the last 24 hours or so he's watched an impressive amount:

30x08 Adam
30x09 Partners in Crime
30x10 Reset
30x11 The Fires of Pompeii
30x12 Dead Man Walking
30x13 Planet of the Ood
30x14 A Day in the Death
30x15 Eye of the Gorgon 1
30x16 Eye of the Gorgon 2
30x17 The Sontaran Stratagem [1]
30x18 The Poison Sky [2]
30x19 The Doctor's Daughter [3]
30x20 Something Borrowed
30x21 Warriors of Kudlak 1
30x22 Warriors of Kudlak 2
30x23 From Out of the Rain

He'll finish with that list tonight.

I'm downloading the full version of the latest Doctor Who Animated Special; when it's done I'll have all available Whoniverse episodes until the Christmas & New Year's Day Specials.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:46 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Michael & I just said goodnight. He's going to bed. I have random energy. Not sure what I'll get up to.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:03 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I watched "Turn Left". I read a bit. I slept a bit. I had a nightmare that I delivered roses to Michael's aparment and found him with another man. I woke shaking. I wanted to go see him, to scare away the nightmare traces from the waking world, but worried that I might be going to see him just to make sure he wasn't with another guy. I don't want to have to do that all the time...but I really wish I was in his arms right now. It's always so lovely.

I responded to an e-mail from my cousin Jennifer; it was sent through Facebook. I checked on the farm. I read more of my book. It's getting stranger as it goes; I hope I can keep up with all the oddities.

The church bells were just ringing, and I was struck that it's dawn.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:34 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I had a snack. I watched the combined 'Dreamland' episode; still enjoyed it. I wonder what time Michael is getting up; he has to be at work at 3pm. When he has to be in at 1 he gets up at 10, so I'm guessing noon. I have to be at the dentist at this time tomorrow, so even though I'm tired I'm gonna try to stay up so I won't be tired tomorrow. I wish I had a wider variety of food to eat, but my jaw problems are mostly to blame for that. :-0(

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:53 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Monday, December 7, 2009

I finally went to bed around 11:30am I think. I slept well. The phone ringing woke me up around 7pm; I missed the call; it was Michael. I didn't want to wake up but knew I needed to harvest our farms so I started that, and called Michael back; leaving him a message, letting him know I was going back to sleep. Mark was having a bit of an emergency, so I helped with that, and then went to sleep as soon as the planting was finished, apparently missing another call from Michael. Oh, and he'd texted me around 2pm to tell me he loves me. It's sort of a double edged sword, those texts from him...see, they're sweet, but at the same time, he used to text me sweet sounding texts right after he'd fucked some other guy, so it makes me feel good to get them, but then makes me wonder if I've missed something. It's odd, and hopefully that goes away someday.

I had beautiful dreams about family; life in the city; working on art and crafts...windy summer days in the sun. It was wonderful. Waking wasn't terrible though, because the wonderful feeling came with me. I called Michael back; left a message. I need to shave and shower. I'd like to go to the store and get some more food. Stop by Michael and get a great big hug. I have to leave for the dentist in less than 8 hours.

Mark is going to sleep as I get up.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:05 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I talked to Michael on the phone. Nice. I shaved and showered, and visited Michael while he finished up his laundry, and the fantastic Doctor Who episode "Forest of the Dead"; he had watched "The Unicorn and the Wasp" & "Adrift" before going to work. Then Michael went with me to the gas station, and I spent some time chatting with him at his apartment before heading home. My stomach was troubling me, but a snack, and watching a bit of news seems to have calmed it down. Michael watched the next 2 episodes of Sarah Jane ("Whatever Happened To Sarah Jane?"), then went to bed. That leaves him with only 10 more episodes in Season 30, before entering Season 31 (the currently airing Season) with it's 35 episodes (2 not aired yet. Actually, there may be a 36th episode if I can find an episode that fits nicely into place at a later date, but for now, there are 35. lol. I could ramble about that for hours...but I won't. I worked on Farm Town a bit; there will be more of that tonight. I may go bowling with Michael tomorrow afternoon... And Mark & I have to leave for my dentist appointment in about 1 hour and 15 minutes; getting my jaw measured for my new bite guard, which should be ready in 3 weeks time; so between Christmas & New Year's (or between "The End of Time, Part I" & "The End of Time, Part II"). Speaking of the 10th Doctor's finale...I feel strangly underwhelmed by the trailers for it, but I think they're holding back on a lot...in fact I know they are, so we'll see how it plays out.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:31 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Mark & I made it to my 9:20am dentist appointment a few minutes early, despite several dramatic detours involving missed exits, snow, a stop at a gas station to save our car, and random directions through back roads. We managed to keep our sense of humor for most of it, and my appointment went well (though my jaws have been more sensitive since the stretching they got at the office - and not in a kinky way). I should be able to pick up my bite splint a week from Wednesday.

After the dentist we headed back to Ann Arbor. We went to Whole Foods, the post office, the bank, and then home. I went to bed about an hour later. I slept extremely well, and has some fantastic dreams - more dreams about family, church trips, and Michael as a sexual werewolf, with nightmarish (but hot) sexual imagery. It was awesome. But I got up around 7:30pm, so I could sleep later, and be up for Bowling with Michael later today.

I sent Michael some friendly / hot e-mails, and messages on his phone, Manhunt accounts, gay.com account, and Facebook. I had a feeling he was having a bad night and wanted to cheer him up. Also sent him so old pix of us. The effort paid off with smiles from the bf, who had a terrible night at work. He watched "Exit Wounds", & "The Lost Boy, Parts I & II". 6 more episodes of Season 30 for him.

I later, quite by accident, stumbled upon one of his ex-lovers (one of the ones he cheated on me with) telling Michael that he missed Michael fucking him, and that if Michael were with him right then, that he'd let Michael do it again. He was made aware that I had seen this and that he had hurt me, as in previous encounters he had said he wanted to be my friend as well. He said he was drunk and didn't mean to hurt anyone; especially me. We'll see how it goes from here, but that did sting quite a lot, though it was handled rather graciously on our part, I think, given the inflamatory words that were typed.

I'm sleepy, but I have the new Graham Norton to watch, and I'm hungry. I may have a snack and watch that and then sleep. Mark will be driving me out to Michael's work this evening and then the 3 of us (or possibly the 2 of us) will be going Michael's work party: bowling. I'm excited I get to meet Michael's coworker Heather after talking to her online for about 8 months!

Oh, and the Abarat book continues to amuse, which I think is why my dreams have been so good lately. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:35 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I feel like someone just walked over my grave. Like I just missed something important. I don't know. I'm losing it.

I've not been able to sleep. It's starting to stress me out. It's my fricking jaw. It's throbbing. Ouch. I took a valium, and that should kick in soon. So sleep is possible. But I'm worried it will upset my stomach, and I really want to be there for Michael; I don't want to disappoint him today. I love him so much. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:14 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Ugh. My acid reflux is in overdrive. Like...I layed down...felt myself drifting off...and then ACID in my mouth / throat / PAIN. Ick. This prilosec version they have me on now just does not work.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:41 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Wednesday, December 9, 2009

I did eventually get to sleep yesterday afternoon (after more 'prilosec' and Zantac); maybe 3 hours. Mark drove me out to the bowling alley to meet Michael & his coworkers. The smoke wasn't bad at first so Mark stayed to bowl a round. After the first the smoking level went up and Mark left, sending us a text when he got home to tell us the snow had returned and was worse, and to be careful.

It was fun chilling with Michael and his crew. I bowled a bit. I drooled on my boyfriend. I'm really enjoying our time together lately. We left in a good mood I think. We had some serious talk in the car. The snow was worse than the other day, and stayed. It made driving annoying, yet memorable. We stopped at Kroger for some non-dairy frozen treats (for Michael) and some lube. We showered the smoke off when we got home, and had some sexy fun. Hopefully Michael is negative, because even when protected it's not 100% and it makes me slightly nervous, though it felt natural and wonderful; like it did before I found out the truth. We're gonna be ok, he & I, I think.

We showered again, then snacked while we watched the last 5 episodes of Season 30 of the Whoniverse. Michael was excited to see Rose again, and seemed sad but satisfied by the season ender; he said it was cool to see all the shows crossover like that. We went to bed directly after and I had nightmares about Daleks. Seriously. Which is sort of odd because I've never (not even once) found them the least bit scary, but my nightmare Daleks were nothing like the tv show's so that explains that. I can't even describe them for you, as they weren't exactly physical in nature, but mental, psychological. I woke up around 7am, cradled in Michael's arms.

I'm starting to trust Michael a little bit more. It's comforting to trust your partner, yet it scares me as well, because I trusted before and it nearly destroyed me. Hopefully that doesn't happen again. Hopefully it doesn't. Because I'd really prefer a happy ending this time. Yesterday marked 3 months that Michael's been faithful to me, while we've been dating now for over 8 months.

I was hungry when I woke so I had another snack, and started reading the news. I sent Michael some fun messages. He got up for a bit, and said he wasn't feeling well, but he's slumbering peacefully now. I'll crawl back in bed with him when this entry is complete.

I just read an interesting interview with my childhood crush, Geroge Michael. I never stood a chance with him, but I still wish I could have met him back in the day. ;-0)

I look forward to cuddling with Michael for a bit, and then getting up to clean the snow off his car. Seriously. I look forward to Farm Town today, and reading my book, which is really, really weird, but I'm enjoying it. If I wasn't broke, I'd send a copy to Mollie. My jaw seems to be hurting a little less than yesterday (when it hurt really terribly), but that might just be because I've not used it much today. We'll see.

Michael has just 33 episodes of the New Whoniverse to see before Christmas, 2 of which are 5 minute type mini-episodes, while most of the others are 25 minute long Sarah Jane Adventures. I'm certain he'll be done by Christmas, which means we'll be able to watch the final 10th Doctor Specials together. I'll then give avi discs to friends. I told Mollie I'd send them to her, for example. She wants more DS9, but I don't have the discs I need, and I can't afford them at the moment. I miss her a lot.

Anyways. I'm off.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:21 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Cuddled with Michael. Got him off...gladly. Went to clean his car off, but the snow was mostly gone and his car was clean. Walked him to his car and he was off. I'm sore.

:-0( Oh well. It was worth it. ;-0)

Traded some texts with Michael. Showed a cool Rachel Maddow excerpt to Mark, and helped him with his e-bay stuff. Mark's playing rockback while I wait for my farm to be ready to harvest.

I'm realizing that I didn't sleep much last night. After I do the Farm Town thing I think I'm gonna cuddle up with my book, and sleep as it hits me. That's the plan anyways.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:19 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Thursday, December 10, 2009

I read a chapter of my book and went to sleep around 4pm, sleeping about 7 hours, getting up a bit after 11pm. I forgot my dreams, but my waking moments were wrapped up in what I'd do if I could make Terminator 5. lol. I pulled myself out of bed when I saw that I'd just missed a call from Michael. I called him back and we talked as he drove home. He let me go shortly after that as he had to do the dishes, and wanted to watch some Sarah Jane before bed (he has to be up EARLY. He has tomorrow night and & Friday morning off, so we might get together tomorrow night. I sent him another e-mail. It's fun sending him stuff online, but it's weird too, because he so seldom goes online anymore that I'm never sure when he'll actually get the messages! lol

Looking at Doctor Who stuff now.

31x33 The Waters of Mars
31x34 The End of Time, Part I
31x35 The End of Time, Part II

All 3 of those specials will be available on DVD & BluRay on February 10, 2010; that will make 22 of the 35 episodes that comprise Season 31 of the Whoniverse. Hopefully I'll have some sort of income by then, as I like having the new stuff on DVD. There are so many older installments that I'm behind on. :-0( Oh Well. I do have access to all the available stories in one format or another, so I'm not being denied anything really; I just like having the DVD's in my collection; I have a folder of DVD's comprising the Classic Series (Doctors 1-8) and a smaller folder for New Who (Doctors 9-11, Sarah Jane, Torchwood & K9).

Anyways. I just realized I'm very hungry. I'm gonna take my meds. Have something to eat. And probably start the next section of my book.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:27 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Slept about 3 hours this morning. Got up, and stayed up randomly. Watched the mid-season finale of Glee. Showered. Ate. Had some issues there, so couldn't sleep after that. Did the Farm Town Thing. I'm so exhausted. I want to sleep, but I need to clean my room. Michael might be coming over tonight. Maybe he'd be up to just crawling in bed with me and sleeping? I don't know.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:13 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Trying to keep my distance from Mark to not piss him off in my sleep deprived state, I've managed to piss him off just the same. I didn't mean to...just everything annoys me when I'm tired. I know this. I tell Mark this, and it upsets him that I'm upset, taking it personally, when I tell him it's not. I'm just exhausted, but can't sleep, and my eyes are burning up in my head, but I can't sleep. My head is pounding. The painkiller not working. Ugh.

I'm listening to the same George Michael track over and over again ("Waiting For That Day"). It seems to calm my nerves slightly. I shut it off for awhile, thinking it would help with the headache, but I found that I missed it. It's not loud though so I think it's fine.

Mark asked why the person I was writing online doesn't annoy me if he does. The thing is, the person online isn't 'talking' or standing near me, or any of the things that I become hyper-sensitive to when I'm tired like this. I'm not sure that makes sense, but I could chat with Mark on the computer right now and that would be fine, but seeing him is something else altogether.

I'm feeling kind of out of it. And I'm annoyed that I couldn't sleep earlier...cause I want to see Michael.

He just called while I was typing that. Says I should try to sleep and if I wake up like, say around midnight he can still come over cause he doesn't have to sleep until 4am. I was hoping he'd want to sleep sooner and come over. :-0( Oh well. Not sure I can sleep anyways. He says that even if he doesn't come over tonight he was planning / hoping to come over Friday night and stay until Sunday - if that was ok with me.

Mark wants to go get vaccinated against H1N1 tomorrow. It would be nice to have that vaccine. I could go clubbing in 10 days time without worrying about catching anything worse than a cold - and a cold would be bad enough. Coughing with my jaw fucked up is a new level of hell.

Anywayws...gonna brush my teeth, and lay down now I think. Give this a try.

I love you Michael.

I love you too Mark, and I'm sorry if I pissed you off. I'm just tired and bitchy. Don't take it too personally.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:25 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [1 Comments]

   Saturday, December 12, 2009

I went to sleep around 8:30pm Thursday night, with the instruction that if I woke up by midnight I was to call Michael and he would join me. But in the mean time, he had watced 2 episodes of Sarah Jane ("Secrets of the Stars") and gotten several messages I'd left him recently on several of his accounts - inspiring him to leave his viewing behind and join me in bed at 9:30, which surpised the hell out of me, waking up with a headache, at which point Michael went right to sleep, snoring in my ear, with me unable to sleep for the pounding in my head. Eventually I took some midrin and did get some sleep; later making love with Michael, watching "The Next Doctor",and getting still more sleep, before getting up around 6am.

Mark & I went to get the H1N1 vaccine & some groceries from Kroger around 10:45am. Michael was set to leave the condo for work around noon, so I didn't expect to see him. We got LC on the way home, and Michael ended up leaving, but taking a personal day to save man hours and get some stuff done today (his final HIV test / oil change for the car / bill payments). After eating I got ready and Michael picked me up so I could go with him.

We went and got the HIV test at his doc's office, though he only went to the lab. We then had the oil changed, which took 45 minutes. In that time I spoke to my grandmother, who informed me that my father had spoken to her 4 days before, and is staying in some kind of home near or on Ecorse Road, that he has a broken bone, having apparently been hit by a car! There were no more details. I shared this news with Janice, who gave me some tips for searching out his location. Jordan also talked to me about outing himself to an interviewer for gay rights issue. Cool.

Michael (at my request) took me to the Plymouth cemetery (Riverside?) where he had cheated on me on September 5th, while I had attended a game night with my friends, which he had been invited to. He showed me the spot. It did bring some emotions up, that hit me at random throughout the day, but they weren't overwhelming, and I was glad to have seen the spot, as it took away some of it's power over me.

Later, we got some food, and went to pick up David, who we took to 7 11 to get his bill money, then Borders so he could get Fight Club, while I got the 2nd Abarat book (for just over $8.00!), then to Sam's Club so David could get groceries, only he didn't get anything. We headed back to their apartment to do laundry (at their laundramat type building), which was ok, yet hard on me as my belly was a bit upset & I was growing ever more tired...plus I kept thinking about my dad, and also randomly of Michael's indiscretion - which is complicated by the fact that it sometimes, randomly, turns me on - while simultaniously hurting me deeply. While doing laundry we watched 3 Sarah Jane episodes ("Marker of the Berserker, Parts I & II", "The Temptation of Sarah Jane Smith, Part I"), before going back to the apartment, and then going back to my place.

We watched the next Sarah Jane, the 2 mini-episodes of the season, and started "Enemy of the Bane", when I went to sleep. I woke during the episode and pointed something out to Michael, at which point he shut off the episode, claiming to have drifted off a few times, and that he had his mind on other things.

I slept until around 6am. Got up. Had a snack. Worked our farms. Read my e-mail. Watched Michael sleeping (he's so beautiful), updated some stuff and wrote this. I should send a message to my Aunt Debbie about my dad's condition, but maybe I should try to find him first; see if I can get more info? We'll see.

Michael has to get up for a meeting with one of his managers at 10am. He might be transferring to a different Arby's, but it's not a sure thing yet. It's just a possible option. I hope that meeting goes well. He's planning on heading home after that to shower / change, and then join me for another night. ;-0)

He has about 12 / 13 days to finish catching up on the Whoniverse if he wants to watch the new specials with me as I see them. He has 22 episodes left, but at the rate he's watching I'm sure he'll have them done. In the last 2 days he's managed to watch:

31x01 Day of the Clown I
31x02 Day of the Clown II
31x03 Secrets of the Stars I
31x04 Secrets of the Stars II
31x05 The Next Doctor
31x06 Mark of the Berserker I
31x07 Mark of the Berserker II
31x08 The Temptation of Sarah Jane Smith I
31x09 The Temptation of Sarah Jane Smith II
31x10 Music of the Spheres
31x11 From Raxacoricofallapatorius with Love

Watching Season 2 of Sarah Jane as part of a cohesive Season 31 of the Whoniverse, I'm finding that I enjoy it far more than I did when it first aired. My only pet peeve about Sarah Jane is it's weak (IMO) 3rd Season finale - which is also part of Season 31 of the Whoniverse. This may be offset by inserting another episode at a later date (between "The Waters of Mars" & "The End of Time, Part I", or the content of the closing Doctor Who Specials.

I downloaded the 2 latest Dollhouse episodes. I kind of want to watch more of this season, but I think it will be more satisfying until I have the remaining 5 episodes, the last of which airs January 22nd, just as Caprica begins. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:11 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I had a snack, and then cuddled with Michael until he had to go shower. I was forbidden from joining him, as he didn't have time to get anything started with me. lol. Michael left for his meeting. My stomach was slightly upset...I finised Dollhouse 2x02 "Instinct", which I started about 3 or 4 weeks ago I think. I took a nap. Just woke up.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:46 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Michael's meeting was supposed to be at 10am. But I've not heard from him, and it's been about 2 hours. Though...he did say that the person he's meeting with is often late...or a no show. So...maybe I'm worried about nothing. I mean, I sent a text a half hour ago, but his non-response could be because she was late and he's still in the meeting.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:58 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Michael's ok. He had a 3 hour meeting. Everything went ok, I guess. Though he's not transferring out of that hell hole he calls a 'work environment'. He's running some Arby's type errands, then coming out this way.

My belly's a bit upset. Not sure I feel like doing anything. We'll see.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:42 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Michael came over much later than expected (he stopped at home first) and I was about to try my first organic / non-dairy pizza, but Mark & I had an emotional moment, which set off my over-sensitive stomach, making it impossible to eat...or have sex with my boyfriend. We watched some Whoniverse, but I eventually went to sleep, and soon after, Michael joined me. Sleeping until around 8pm. He woke up to check the time, and a text, before getting dressed to smoke, and watch more Who downstairs. I was to sleep more but heard a video game playing downstairs, and went to see what was going on (hearing Mark's voice as well, I thought maybe Michael hadn't gotten to watch Who and that I could help), but Mark was showing Michael how to get it started. I returned upstairs, and checked my e-mail, writing a long replay to my friend Jamie, and then wrote this. Now I don't know if I should sleep...or get up?

I should take more prilosec though, I'm certain of that.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:35 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Cute. No Spoilers Here:

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:43 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Sunday, December 13, 2009

I later joined Michael for my favorite Sarah Jane episodes, followed by Season 3 of Torchwood. During the opening of the 2nd installment I went back to sleep, waking randomly now and again, but waking finally just before "Day Four", working on the farms, and then watch the final 2 installments with Michael, before he went to sleep.

Michael managed to watch 12 installments in the last 12 hours:

31x12 Enemy of the Bane I
31x13 Enemy of the Bane II
31x14 Dreamland
31x15 Prisoner of the Judoon I
31x16 Prisoner of the Judoon II
31x17 The Mad Woman in the Attic I
31x18 The Mad Woman in the Attic II
31x19 Children of Earth: Day One
31x20 Children of Earth: Day Two
31x21 Children of Earth: Day Three
31x22 Children of Earth: Day Four
31x23 Children of Earth: Day Five

He has 10 more before to watch before the Christmas Special, which airs a week from Friday. I think he'll finish sometime this week. Easy.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:56 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Went back to bed after the last entry and slept another 7 hours! Awesome. I've not been sleeping that well lately, so that was an unexpected surprise! Also, Michael doesn't have to be at work until 9pm! Which means I'll still get to see him for awhile. I'm craving those Christmas themed boxes of Russel Stover chocolates in the worst way! I think a few of them might not work with my fucked up jaws, but the creamy ones would be heaven right now. I also want to fool around with Michael, though I'd like to eat first. I'm starving.

I was going to have a shake last night, but Mark had put my last 2 things of tofu right under the spot where the cold air comes out and 1 of them was frozen solid, while the other was half & half. I moved them so they would thaw. I wonder if they're ready yet?

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:46 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Monday, December 14, 2009

After the last entry, I thawed the tofu, had a small snack, then went to Kroger with Mark while Michael watched more Sarah Jane. When I got home I had some of those chocolates I mentioned and some more snackage, while I joined Michael for more Sarah Jane. I started cuddling with Michael, when I rememebered I hadn't taken my Reglan, and went running to throw up...continuously...they way I used to do every fucking day. Michael was a sport about it. And I later got him off before he headed home to get ready for work. He shut my bedroom light off for me as I climbed into bed, not really thinking I'd be able to sleep.

Mark came in after awhile and again turned off my light as he left, and then I slept until Michael called me, and then I slept until he texted me. Then he called me again. He was home from work and going to sleep. He told me how he only has 3 more Whoniverse episodes to go, and online stuff that he'd done. I went to his Manhunt profile to save some things he'd told me he'd deleted, and I got some random messages from people...I'm sure it's nothing.

I worked the farms. I read some news. It's chilly in my room. I'm gonna lay down again actually.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:11 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Never laid back down. Never went back to sleep. Chilling today. In kind of weird mood. Feel out of it. I wish I had a job. I know that in itself sound random, but when I had a job, and I felt like this, I'd go into work, and it would sort me out. Only I have to find a job that pays more than my food stamp money, AND has insurance that pays for my perscriptions (which cost me $1.00 with my state insurance, but cost WAY more than that without) - otherwise it's not worth it financially. It's terrible. Erg.

I called Travis (ex-bf circa 2001), after he texted, and we talked for several hours about his pain and his troubles, and my recent pain and troubles, and I think I helped him out a lot. It may have helped me a little too; I'm not sure.

I talked to Michael shortly after that, as he'd texted me while I was talking to Travis. He works until 6pm. I may see him tonight, or tomorrow. Possibly both. Not sure yet.

I seem to be hungry a lot today. Maybe because I've been doing a good job eating SMALL meals today.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:12 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Since watching Torchwood the other night, Michael has watched 7 more installments of the Whoniverse:

31x24 The Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith I
31x25 The Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith II
31x26 The Eternity Trap I
31x27 The Eternity Trap II
31x28 Planet of the Dead
31x29 Mona Lisa's Revenge I
31x30 Mona Lisa's Revenge II

He has only 3 more installments before he's caught up:

31x31 The Gift I
31x32 The Gift II
31x33 The Waters of Mars

The next 2 specials close out Season 31 of the Whoniverse (though I suspect a future episode will be tucked between 'The Waters of Mars' and those final specials):

31x34 The End of Time, Part I
31x35 The End of Time, Part II

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:49 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Chatted most of the day. Met this guy, Brian, who has a boyfriend. It was nice to chat with someone who wasn't hitting on me. Spoke to Travis briefly also. Michael called me on his way home from work. We talked about Christmas, and how I'm not invited to his family's Christmas get together (which is being held this Sunday); Michael has forbidden me from getting them all gifts, as I have no income at the moment. Bah Humbug.

I'm getting a headache. Took some Midrin. I'm sleepy. I've been up since around 3am. Michael is gonna do laundry and watch the Season 3 finale of Sarah Jane, then call, and probably come over here to watch "The Waters of Mars", then sleep over. That's the plan anyways.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:49 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The plan for last night went wrong. My headache was worse than I expected. It was a classic migrain where your senses explode; touch, taste, smell, sound - it was all too much. Michael called as asked if I wanted Crazy Bread (something I usually LOVE) and I just said no thank you. Mark was playin Rock Band which started really hurting me, but I didn't want to spoil his fun, but I couldn't put ear plugs in cause Michael was coming over. When he arrived he had a pizza and the smell was so overpowering I had to have him go downstairs, but then the smell lingered so I had to open my door, so I finally had to ask Mark to stop playing, which he graciously did.

Michael eventually joined me, and cuddled and we slept.

I woke up around 6:30am. I got Michael up after a bit. We fooled around. I showered, and Michael cleaned up. We tried working on our farms together, but Michael couldn't connect to the internet; something Mark has to help him with, so we planted beets which take 4 hours to grow, figuring Mark could help us later. Michael played a game, and I made a shake - except I've been taking way too many of my Reglan pills lately - they keep me from vomiting, but I'm not supposed to take them all the time, which I have, because the vomiting is gross. I didn't take it this time, so I was only able to have half my shake. :-0(

Michael's cool about all this, and we're about to watch "The Waters of Mars" - Michael just took a smok break. He just came in my room smelling of mint and smoke. He says I'm writing about him again. I love him, though I do wish he wasn't a smoker.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:00 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

We watched "The Waters of Mars"; Michael is all caught up on New Who. He kept drifting off and closing his eyes during it, which I hate. Usually I enjoy watching things I've seen before with other people, but with him I feel like I have to watch HIM when we watch it together, so I end up not enjoying the watching itself. We should just watch things separately, I think. Except we're watching the Christmas & New Year's Day Specials together. Hopefully he'll stay awake for those. I'd hate to have the final 10th Doctor's stories ruined in any way.

I keep throwing up. I don't know how I used to do this every day, and work, and smile for customers, and make friends, and keep friends, and date. It's just...terrible. Perhaps I've become spoiled. For awhile there I almost felt normal.

I have to be in Rochester tomorrow at 1:30pm to get my bite splint. I hope this one helps me. I hope it's not uncomfortable. I hope I get used to it fast. I hope it doesn't trouble or hurt me like the last one did.

In 2 hours, Michael & I will harvest our farms again.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:19 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I was so crabby yesterday. Everything was frustrating me. It didn't help that Michael & I fought about his family not wanting me for their Christmas day (this Sunday). It's been so long since I've had to deal with anti-gay familial politics that I find I've lost all stomach for it. It's disgusting. It's hurtful. They are hurting me. I think much of my frustration with the day was because I let their bigoted decision and Michael's inaction hurt me. But I think that's understandable; I mean, I have several interactions with Michael's relatives in the past, including his mom & dad and sisters and niece, so this random insult hurts more because it wasn't expected. And if this is a 'Christian' thing to them, someone should tell them that they got the fucking thing wrong - do they really think Jesus would have asked that I not be there? Serously? He used to hang out with prostitutes and corrupt tax men. He taught by example, not exclusion. This is just homophobic bullshit. Of course it hurts more because Michael is mostly going along with it. If he can't stand up for the man he claims he wants to marry, then that's his problem. I understand why he's not doing more, because he doesn't want to risk losing his family, or time with his sisters and niece - but it's still frustrating that the situation even exists. It's not right. Ugh. It's not right. And it's not Christian. And it's certainly not in the Christmas spirit.

We managed to find out my dad is ok, or at least he's alive. I'm supposed to get a call from him this morning, but it hasn't happened yet. He's been hanging out at Abe's Coney Island, just like he always has done. Hope to see him soon.

Michael later decided that he wanted some alone time, which actually helped my mood. It helped center me a bit I think. And in a few hours time I was back to being myself, or what I think of as myself. The only odd thing was first brought up by Michael, but then lingered in my mind when it was revealed that Michael would be home alone for the night - which was that he later said he was bored, tired and horney - and that he was lonely - which made me wonder if he wasn't testing himself, to see if he could deal with those feelings while being on his own, without giving in to having sex with another guy. By all accounts he seems to have succeded and if that was his intent, and if that's the case I'm very proud of him.

Shortly after Michael left he called me to ask about parking at UofM Hospital, telling me his father's sister Suezanne was being transferred there. She has cysts on her liver and she was hemmoraging. I asked Michael if he wanted me to go with him, but he said no. This reminded me that seeing me (Michael's GAY BOYFRIEND) with Michael might upset Michael's family, bringing up more feelings from our earlier argument, leaving me feeling helpless and unwanted. But I told him I'd be there if he needed me, and gave him the info he required. It turned out she wasn't at the hospital yet anyways, so Michael headed home, though he later spoke to her.

Mark went with me to see if we could find dad last night, but when that was a bust we went to Michael's to pick up my Doctor Who and chat a bit, then visited Chris, and then Carrie. I also got to talk to Janice & Jordan on the phone. Going to Chris & Bryan's place was sort of painful, as it's less than a block from where Michael cheated on me with a guy back on August 21st; and as the parking for that guy's place is so weird, it's possible Michael even parked where we did. I tried not to let it bother me, but it's tough. I returned "Lost Season 4" to Chris and loaned her BSG 4.5, with The Plan & The Face of The Enemy included. Going to Carrie's helped my mood a bit. She lives really close to where I've had several adventures in my life, including meeting my dad's current common-law-wife Jan, going out to eat with a one night stand back in August 2006, running into this guy I liked on the street, Elvis & Anthony's house...the list goes on; happy or odd memories helping to soothe the recent painful past. Carrie looks great; she has this neat haircut that reminds me of Sharon & Susan's cuts in the original Parent Trap - which pleased her when I mentioned it, as we both love that movie. We stayed and chatted with her a bit. I had a really bad headache though so we headed home around 8:30pm.

When we got home, I harvested my farm, chatted with Michael, and went right to sleep.

I woke up around 5am. There were some texts from Michael asking me if I could visit his Aunt Suezanne at UofM Hospital today, as none of the family has the time to visit today. I said yes, I'd gladly do that. It makes me feel good that I can do this thing for this woman, who wants to see me, who is a part of Michael's family. It's intersting to me that while Michael's parents don't want me at their Christmas celebration (which includes only people I've already met on several occasions and never had a negative word for), I'll be going to the hospital to visit with (and hopefully spread some cheer to) Michael's father's sister, whom I've never even met before. You'd think that I was the Christian and not them. Odd.

Anyways, after some exchange of texts I tried to get back to sleep but it just wasn't happening. I got up for a bit. Eventually jacked off and showered. And finally sleep took me again. I woke up around 8:30am. I read some news, and took care of my farm. Facebook seems to be messed up today. I have that appointment at 1:30pm. I'm craving a shake, but not sure I should risk it...we'll see.

Oh. And I read something of a spoiler for next season of Doctor Who - confirmation of something I'd read about a month ago. Anyone who doesn't want to know this should look away now.

Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler

The Weeping Angels (from "Blink") are coming back! As was previously reported, River Song will also be returning, and if the reports I've read are true, then River Song actually appears in a 2-parter featuring the Weeping Angels. I'd read several details that seemed to suggest the return of these monsters, but hadn't dared to believe they were true. Cool.

I have an odd pain (more a discomfort really) in my side. I hope it's not something to worry about.

It's cold in my room, which is rare.

I've not read my book in several days; I should get back to that sometime today.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:06 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Thursday, December 17, 2009

Got my bite guard yesterday. It's probably easier for others to get used to them, but my teeth ALWAYS touch when my mouth is closed, and so it feels really horrible. Blah. I'm trying to use it though.

We got LC later, which was good.

Went to the hospital and visited Michael's Aunt Suezanne. She's really cool; super gay friendly; lots of gay & lesbian friends in her lifetime. Very cool. Said that Michael was her favorite nephew, and not to feel bad about the Christmas thing as she's never invited either and that her brother (Michael's father) is weird. She told me all kinds of family stories. Plus she told me she dislikes Scott and worries about Michael. We seemed to hit it off, and I hopefully distracted her from her pain for a little bit. I helped her get to the bathroom, and opened her gingerale for her. I left when she began a meal. I told her I'd visit again if I could.

After going home and showering and changing, Mark & I went to Kroger. I got a pnemonia(?) vaccine; won't need another until I'm 65. I got some bread and listerine and some non-ice-cream. I resisted the chocolate urge.

When we got home we learned our downstairs computer had burned out. :-0( I think Mark fixed it though.

I slept for a few hours, but when I woke up to a call from Michael (waking from dreams of interacting with old movie stars, in black & white) my bite guard was not in my mouth. I know it wouldn't fall out on it's own; I must have removed it in my sleep, which worries me.

Michael got an e-mail from an ex-lover; one of the men that he cheated with; one of the ones who was really cruel to me. They have a history though and if they want to chat they can, but I just hope Michael tells him that he was wrong to cheat on me and that it will never happen again - that's all I ask. And then they can talk about whatever they want. And if we ever meet, he better be respectful to me. That's all I'm saying.

I can't get back to sleep, so I signed onto Yahoo hoping to chat with Michael, but he's watching "V". It's funny because I didn't give it to him for him, but for David. I've been getting more info about David than I ever needed to know. Ugh. Anyways, some old friends (not ex-bfs or lovers or anything like that) are chatting me up on there, so I should go.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:57 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I chatted with Michael some more. Sent him some messages. Chatted with him again. Slept for a few minutes with the bite guard in, but woke up. Not sure why. I think it's my tummy; it's very upset, but I'm not sure why. It's not been like this in at least a week and for that I'm grateful. I tried to go back to sleep, but it's not working. I still have the bite guard in though. I figure if I have to ride this one out, at least I'll get some time with the bite guard in. Though I might have to take it out in a bit so I can eat and drink. I don't want to get dehydrated.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:59 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I'm confused. And though I love Michael completely, and I fully expect I'll discuss it with him shortly, this is the kind of confusion that long time friends could help me with before partners or family, I think. I'd love to be talking to Mollie right now...or maybe Paul, or Jennifer. Perhaps I'll give Paul a call later. He's had his share of confusions, and is bound to be non-judgmental. What time is it in San-Francisco?

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:44 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

So I've been taking my Reglan pills too often, so I ate without taking one awhile ago. I'm really hating this.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:08 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Got to talk to Paul and give him Part I of the Jason Is Insane Saga. He's gonna call me later tonight for the sequel, where we get to the real heart of the issue. Hopefully it helps sort some of this out for me.

I traded some texts with Michael, who had obviously worked on his farm. I finished that up by planting some crops which should be ready by the time he gets home from work.

I seeded some messages for him last night as well. Perhaps one day he will open and read them. Probably tonight, as he called me on his way to work and I mentioned them. I left messages at 2 of his e-mail addresses, his gay.com & manhunt profiles, plus Facebook & Yahoo.

I worked on my farm.

I spoke (in vague terms) to Mark about what's on my mind, but found I couldn't talk to him about it in detail yet. I just need to figure this out. It's a complicated sex puzzle that's been warping my reality with increading velocity. Yet if I handle it wrong it may lose it's magical allure and I'd rather not do that. It's a fragile thing, this cage I'm in.

I started getting a HORRIBLE Migrain. I took Midrin and ate; the pain killer is very intense right now. I feel stoned.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:22 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Friday, December 18, 2009

I've been staring at my blog...trying to figure out where to begin. So much has happened in such a short period of time. I can't do this right now. It's too complex, and I'm too exhausted. I need sleep.

I hope Christmas isn't as sad as it seems that it might possibly be. Even Doctor Who can't cheer me at the moment.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:19 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I called Michael and I cried for a good hour. Wracking sobs & tears welling out from the heart of me. I then followed Michael's advice and visited with Mark. I tried to find some laughter, but it hurt just as much. Listening to music and dreaming of food, and sleep. I feel too much.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:22 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Sunday, December 20, 2009

My blog needs a major update on the events between Michael & I over the last few days, but I really need to sleep first. I'm exhausted. I wanted to get some groceries today, but I'm not sure I'm gonna make it out today. I need to harvest, plow and plant my farms in about an hour I think, but then I don't have to work on them until tomorrow.

04 days until Christmas Eve

05 days until
Doctor Who: The End of Time, Part I

11 days until New Year's Eve

12 days until
Doctor Who: The End of Time, Part II
(AKA the end of an era)

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:22 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Monday my stomach was upset all day, and continues to be upset this morning. It doesn't seem to matter what I eat, so I finally took some pepto; hope it helps. I've been drinking water again; I hadn't been drinking as much, but I'm trying to stay hydrated; I hate feeling dehydrated.

I slept well on Monday. I ate well on Monday and then slept again. I had fun dreams.

I spoke to Michael throughout the day and into the night / morning. He misses me, and I him. He's sad that I needed this time after what happened last week; the thing I've yet to write about, and while I've missed Michael, I feel this time apart (less than a week really) has been good for us.

I went to bed around 4am I think. I slept with the bite guard in. I had dreams of a plague of vampire bats. lol It was interesting.

3 days until the penultimate 10th Doctor story. I find the previews oddly unexciting. I know there's more to these 2 final specials than what they're showing us, but maybe having low expectations will help me to enjoy them even more.

Cobbled together from Zachary Quinto's audiobook of "Star Trek" we now have Kirk / Spock slash as narrated by the new Spock himself:

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:41 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Thursday, December 24, 2009

I'm so sick of Farmtown.

I did almost nothing today. It's hard to do stuff when you're drugged. I'm not even taking the fully prescribed dose. I'm trying to get my jaw back to the way it was just yesterday. I woke up today with it hardly opening, and pain, despite having worn my bite splint for much of yesterday.

I went grocery shopping last night at Whole Foods, and then went to Michael's for a visit. We talked and cuddled. We parts of National Lamboon's Christmas Vacation. We snuggled and messed around... But my sexcapades are severely limited because of my goddamned jaw! It's a constant annoyance.

I came home around Midnight I think. Went to bed around 2am, after tinkering with stuff online. I slept well.

My tummy has been better in the last 24 hours, which has been nice.

I should do that update on my blog before I forget it all, but I'm so tired...maybe I'll get to it later tonight after I've had some sleep?

I just tried this frozen dairy free pizza. It was foul, which is to say I like it even less than regular frozen pizza, which is gross all on it's own. Ick. I took a pill though, so I should eat something.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:12 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Ok. I've slept. My farm is done for now. And I have some time here, or so it seems, so maybe it's time for that update I've been meaning to do.

WARNING: This post is gonna be extremely sexual and personal and if you don't want to know how fucked up my brain is you might want to stop now.

Ready?

Ok. So I met Michael online in March 2009. Our first date was April 1, 2009. We've been together almost ever since, apart from maybe 7 days in which we broke up briefly. From April to May things were great. Then in May I went to see Star Trek XI in theaters with my ex-bf Paul. Michael had been treated terribly by ex-bf's in the past and had suspected I was cheating because of all the alone time I liked to have and this 'date' with my ex-bf seemed to confirm that I was cheating. I wasn't. But Michael didn't know that, and he started cheating on May 20, 2009. Between May 20 & September 7, Michael managed to keep a relationship with me in which we had a regular unprotected sex life, while simultaniously hooking up with over a dozen other men; some of them bareback. There was even 1 guy he didn't hook up with who Michael spoke to online & on the phone and briefly considered leaving me for. I was blind to all of this. Except on September 7, one of his boys (Michael "Sean" Wells) contacted me to hit on me, and when he found out I was Michael's boyfriend, he told me the truth, in hopes that I would leave Michael and that he (Sean) would be able to fuck us both seperately. Ouch. I soon found MOUNTAINS of evidence proving that he hadn't just slept with Sean, but at least 6 other guys. I confronted Michael, who denied the truth, and I broke up with him.

This was HELL. I was completely in love with Michael. I loved him more than any guy I've dated in over a decade. All my friends & many of his friends swore that Michael loved me. None of these people knew the truth. I was suicidal. My world was shattered. Thankfully I had great friends at the ready to help me through this time.

5 days later I went to see Michael at work. I had come to a decision. In that 5 day period, Michael had impressed me by confessing the truth, both to me and to his friends and family. His guilt was astonishing. His confessions of love were believed. I told him that I wanted to try being with him between September & December, to see if I could learn to trust him again. The 3 month thing would be helpful to us, as we'd have to wait 3 months to get tested to be sure of our HIV status. He accepted.

In that 3 month time, Michael made sure I knew where he was 24/7. He moved to Ypsi to be closer to me; he'd lived in Taylor before. He got rid of his pets both because he couldn't afford them, but his cats especially, because I'm allergic and wanted me to be able to come over. He also made a house rule that there was to be no smoking in the apartment so it wouldn't smell like smoke and bother me or Mark (something he hasn't stuck to, which makes it almost impossible for Mark to visit, and just annoying for me). He gave me keys to his apartment so I could drop by whenever. He got a phone on Mark's account so he had GPS on him. And he swore of the internet dating sites.

It was all going extremely well, except from some health problems. First, on October 1st I had emergency gall bladder surgery. Then I had / have prostititus (apparently from an STD Michael gave me, but was spared himself) - lots of pain and confusion. And in late October / early November my jaw locked in place, making it impossible for me to suck Michael's cock, or do any other number of things that get both him, and ME off. This has hurt my sex life a lot. A LOT. It's hard to not want to die. Seriously.

With the limited jaw movement, and recent events, I started getting turned on by an old fantasy of mine, involving my partner cheating on me. This wasn't something that I thought I'd ever be able to explore in reality, because the fantasy was HOT, while in reality, a cheating partner is incredibly painful. I'd compare it to people who have rape fantasies; they may act them out with their partner, but they don't wan to be acutally raped; they want the fantasy version, and as long as that's what they're getting (and nobody is getting hurt) then it's awesome! ;-0)

During all this, I had taken over Michael's accounts online (with his permission) so I could try to track down all the men he'd slept with. It was both painful, and healing, this process. But it also revealed something unexpected. A friend of mine (a 1 night stand I'd stayed in touch with) contacted Michael in this time (only he was talking to me) about how much he wanted to get fucked by Michael - while contacting me (Jason) and being nice and caring, while he was planning with "Michael" to stab me in the back. At first I was pissed. Then I was vengeful. And finally I was completely turned on. Sick huh? lol. But totally hot for me...and that was just the beginning.

Well, here I was, having read all these messages that Michael had sent to other boys, and I thought the way he talked to these guys, so different than the way he spoke to me, was hot too. I started encouraging him to get back online. He did. He got hit on. He told me about the conversations and it made me hot. Slightly jealous; an itty bitty bit, but totally turned on. But it wasn't the same as reading his previous conversations. And I also found myself questioning my mental health. Was it healthy to be turned on by something so hurtful? Was I taking the pain and turning it into pleasure? If I was doing that, was it a good healthy thing? Was I taking back my power which he'd stolen, or was I getting so beat down that I was succumbing to his betrayal on a whole new level?

I called my friend Paul on Thursday, December 17th. I told him the whole twisted story, and he thought it sounded healthy. I felt it was too. I felt like I was reaching deeping into myself than ever before (a theme for me in pre-October 2009, in which I found levels of strenth I never knew I had - but since the surgery I've felt pretty broken). I felt like I was approaching desires both rich and unexplored, and that I was moving towards a completion of self, which aside from my recent phsical troubles, was somehow a continuation of the path I'd been following throughout 2009. And Michael, for all his flaws, seemed a key part of this inner transformation.

A snippit from my Facebook Page that day:

"Jason Wright is trying to sort out how I became so confused, and wondering if my confusion is a gateway to true understanding...or just the loss of something sacred..."

A friend suggested that it sounded like sensory overload to which I responded:

"Perhaps that's all it is. It's hard to say. In some ways I feel like I've been building to this moment for such a long time; years, most certainly. But I don't know if this means I'm breaking through to something grander...or if I'm finally damaged beyond repair? Possibly both. I'll figure it out eventually I'm sure. All the answers to all of the other life riddles of this category have come to me in time. This one's just a little more fragile."

A quote from my blog that day:

"I just need to figure this out. It's a complicated sex puzzle that's been warping my reality with increading velocity. Yet if I handle it wrong it may lose it's magical allure and I'd rather not do that. It's a fragile thing, this cage I'm in."

The thing was, I wanted to share my feelings with Michael, but was worried that it might lose some of it's spark he knew my feelings and we pretended he was talking to another guy, while chatting wth me - which is something that Paul & I had discussed as a possibly scenario to explore these feelings in. I decided I wouldn't talk to anyone else about this for 1 more day, and keep this secret pleasure to myself for that amount of time at least. I decided I'd create a fake online profile and chat with Michael - flirt with him, and after he turned me down, I'd get off on the whole experience - and then tell him the truth, and go from there. I'd eat my cake and have it too was the thought.

Except in that night's conversation Michael didn't turn me down. He thought I was some other guy and he was gonna hook up with him behind my back. Only he was chatting with me. I went to his meeting place and pretended I just happened by, and it was so clear that he really was intending to cheat on me. I called him on it. He said he knew it was a set up, but his actions spoke volumes. Details like him deleting the conversation we'd had, and asking me to go somewhere with him when I arrived (afraid the 'other guy' would show up), even though he doesn't ever leave his clothes unattended (he was at the laundry place for his complex) - plus I'd seen this act before. It hurt that he would lie to me again. I broke up with him. It was messy.

Twisted part. When I got home, I jacked off to that fake conversation. Within days we were back together. Having talked a lot. We have trust issues. But we're talking opening about what we want. Who we want. Who we want it with. And though at any other time in my life I'd have run screaming from this situation, where I am now, it feels incredible. Daring. An interesting choice, outside of my character, but true to my inner longing. I don't need to justify my decision to anyone. They can either accept it, or move on.

That's about all. It wasn't convered here in the range or depth that it probably deserves. I doubt anyone reading this will compeletely grasp my feelings or the importance of all of this stuff...but I wanted some kind of record of it, so here it is.

Where are we now? Michael and I are good. He's gonna chat up some boys online, for my pleasure. We may have some 3way action. Something I've never been ok with, with any other partner. We there are many different scenarios we may yet explore. Or maybe we won't. Who knows? All I do know is I feel better for exploring this hidden part of my sexuality - talking about it with my partner and trying to peel back the layers of it, than I would have otherwise. ;-0)

What else? Going to Grandma's & then Mark's family tonight. Tomorrow is the new Doctor Who special: "The End of Time, Part I". I wasn't very excited about it...and then remembered that Donna is in it. And now I'm thrilled. ;-0)

I have 3 chapters (plus an apendix, so basically 4 chapters) left in the first Abarat book. I find I'm reading it very slowly, though I'm enjoying it. Perhaps because I know it's the first of 5 books, and while I have the 2nd, the 3rd won't even be released until late 2010! This is gonna be like waiting for the final 3 Harry Potter books. :-0(

Oh. And I'm horny.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:29 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Just talked to Michael. He's getting ready and coming over. My room is a mess. And I need to prepare before he gets here. And I'm hungry.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:01 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Saturday, December 26, 2009

Had sexy fun with Michael when he arrived on Thursday. Quick shower. We all got ready and went to my grandmother's. It was great to see relatives that I've not seen in so long. I got a really cool back scratcher from Doug, and an elephant key thing from my mom. Money from Grandma; bless her. Great to see everyone. Then we headed over to Mark's Dad's, where again it was nice to see relatives that I'd not seen much recently, with Veronica & Terry's family's both in attendance, and sweet Uncle Dale and his dotty racist wife Charlotte (she reminds me of Mrs. C from Happy Days gone horribly wrong - complete with a laugh track that only she can hear). It was a good night in general, with Dale giving me chocolates, and Roger giving me wine. ;-0)

Michael was a bit out of it that day; saying he was in a bit of a funk, plus he didn't know a lot of people and was annoyed by something I said to him at my Gran's house, which while keeping in the spirit of my family was not something he wanted to hear. I told him I was sorry, and we went from there.

Christmas Day, we went to Michael's Aunt Terry's house; saw many of his relatives, including his little sister, mom, Aunt Peggy and others. Later visited his older Sister Rhonda, Pat & Katie (his niece) briefly, then headed home. We watched the mid-season finale of Glee & the Misor Brother Christmas. We also watched the first part of the new Doctor Who Special, which I thought was a very oddly paced episode, with the first half being very...strange, and the the final quarter getting it right - though there was an awesome scene between Wilf & the Doctor which I loved quite a lot. Later Michael watched some Christmas movies I downloaded for him at his request, while I read nearly all of the first Abarat book; I have 12 pages left in the final chapter, and then the apendix and I'm done. Then I slept. I don't know how much later, Michael joined me. I woke up around 6am.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:16 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [2 Comments]

   Sunday, December 27, 2009

Saturday I stayed home with Michael. We mostly cuddled. My belly was a bit upset, but it passed. We cuddled and loved and cuddled some more. It was perfect.

Michael chose not to stay another night, to save money, and to be closer to his work (he works today), and have his work stuff sorted. He chatted with me online for a bit, helping out with some stuff, and later watched some Buffy ("Welcome to the Hellmouth" / "The Harvest", "Prophecy Girl").

Also Sunday night, I spoke to Mollie on the phone. She seems to be doing ok. She'll probably get unemployment at the start of the new year. She told me about a book, and her mom, and I told her bout Michael, Christmas, Doctor Who related bits, and Abarat.

Mark spent the day with his mother, Marcus, Julie, Nick & Ethan. Maria sent home Christmas gifts (Gloves! A nice scarf! Socks, and $20.00); all of them appreciated. Mark looked nice, and made it home safe, though he mentioned driving through a blizzard.

I'm very sleepy. I might actually finish the final chapter in my book. But I have an appendix to read after that which is quite lengthy, and that might have to wait until the morning.

I forgot to take my prilosec earlier so I'm quite acidy. Blah. Oh. My phone is blinking. A text from Michael. Night.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:14 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I slept alright, though I had serious acid troubles so my throat is pretty sore. Mark is coughing a lot; I hope he's not ill. I haven't spoken to Michael since last night; I have some stuff to think about there.

I finished the final chapter of Abarat, but I'm holding off on the appendix, because I want to finish the book in 2010. lol. Each year (starting in 2007) I've kept track of the books that I've read in each year. In the several years before 2007 I'd hardly read at all. In 2007 & 2008, as I applied myself to the pleasurable task, I managed to read a lot more. But 2009 was kind of a bum year for reading. I only managed to read 14 novels. I'm hoping to read at least twice as many in 2010, so I'm holding back slightly on Abarat to give myself a leg up. lol. I realize I'm being silly, but...I'm ok with that.

Here are links to my years in books.

2007
2008
2009
2010

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:47 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Read a bit (Robotech, though I've not decided on which volume I'm going to actually read), and slept a bit...I had nightmares; life and love spooling out of control...and technological porn drugs. Worked on my farm, and Michael's too.

Mark IS ill. I hope he feels better soon. I should eat soon; I think it's been long enough that the acid shouldn't bother me.

Here's Lada Gaga's Bad Romance video, which I swear has slightly different imagery than the first time I saw the video upon it's release, though that could just be my brain playing tricks:

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:57 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Monday, December 28, 2009

I feel broken. Almost all the sex I enjoyed was oral in nature and now that's either gone, or so painful that it might as well be. I don't want to be broken. I feel weird bitching that sex is the main problem I have with my jaw, but it is, and it is important. I don't know how to express that to a doctor or even if I should because if the doctor is perjudiced they could fuck me up worse on purpose and I'd never know the difference.

I'm having some trouble with Michael. It's related to him cheating on me in the past. He cheated on me with this guy, and I thought I was cool with that, except some of my friends now live less than a block from where this took place and going to visit them is painful for me. I had a plan of action to heal this open wound, but Michael won't participate; this I did not foresee. I feel abandoned.

I really want to cut myself.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:33 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [1 Comments]

I have a slight cough. I hope I'm not getting what Mark has. I'm fucked up enough as it is.

Slept for about 3 hours. Dreams about working at Hollywood Video and Meijer. I've had a series of dreams where I'm working at 2 or more jobs from my past, but usually it's Target and Little Caesars. Weird.

Feel slightly less pained than last night, but more cut off...like I'm sinking into depression.

Gonna have a shake and some vitamins; hope that helps the cough. Perhaps I'll read a bit.

Michael is coming over after work tonight; he has tomorrow off.

I feel slightly zombie-like, yet I'm moving around and stuff. Blah.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:40 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Tuesday, December 29, 2009

I eventually got some energy last night and decided I'd go to Necto, and then get assorted groceries afterward, using my Christmas money. I had a great time at Necto. It felt good to go out, and I danced a lot without getting tired, despite not getting much exercise in the last few months. Paul's old flame Mark (Mork) was there and actually spoke to me for the first time in about 14 or 15 years. Collin was there. Christine & Bobby were there, the latter apparently having moved back from Chicago and all in a good mood. Dan & Keevan, Becky Scott & Joey were all there as well. It was a good time. I got there around 11 and left around 12:30am so I could get groceries and meet Michael back at my place. I went to Meijer. Spent all my Christmas money on needed groceries. I need more, which I'll probably get later today (Water & Tofu topping my list). I met Michael at my place; getting there before him and showering off the smoke. Michael is trying to quit smoking as his New Year's resolution, but I've heard him say that dozens of times and he lives with a smoker so I don't see it happening, sadly.

Michael had to work on bills and wanted to watch 1 thing (Lucy) and I wanted to watch Metrosexuality, so we watched our separate programs. There was a shocking amount of stuff in Metro that I'd forgotten (full frontal male nudity? Plot twists? crazy), and I'd never watched the DVD extras before which were very illuminating. When I crawled into bed with Michael I wasn't quite ready to sleep so I finished the last 3 chapters of the 2nd Robotech novel, which I'd begun earlier this year and never got around to finishing. I'll continue with the 3rd one now I'm sure as I'm finding it quite enjoyable to visit old friends. I've wanted to reread the series for ages, but I have trouble getting past the first 2 volumes (though I love all the exta scenes - especially the prologue involving Zor).

I slept from about 7am - 2:30pm. I woke up feeling like I had a cold, though I feel a lot better now. Michael and I have been spending time together, but separate on this visit which is nice, but odd. I'd love some cuddles. Maybe I should get back to him and grab some.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:14 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Michael fucked me in this position we seldom use, but which hits all the right spots. Very nice. Later we worked on our farms, and then went to Hillers (for water) and Whole Foods (for Tofu). Michael left after that to do work at home. I'll probably read more Robotech and surf the web. I have to harvest my farm around 10pm. I'm currently on level 60, and despite getting tons of points I'm not moving up in levels the way I did previously; so 60 must be the new cap for easy progress; it used to be around 35 I think and they they updated it. I'll keep plugging away and maybe they'll raise it again and I'll move up several levels at once.

Michael's doing this chat thing that's raising red flags because of our history, but he told me not to worry and I'm trying not to.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:23 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Michael & I had some tense moments tonight, but some nice moments as well. Our relationship is odd I think, but powerful. He admitted he finds other guys attractive and wants to pursue them sexually, but acknowledged this was fucked up - and that what keeps him from following through on his actions is that he doesn't want to lose me. It's normal to be attracted to other people; it's acting on those impulses that gets people into trouble.

Working on my farm, then planning on reading a bit and going to sleep. 2.5 days until the 10th Doctor leaves us. I expect I'll enjoy Part II better than Part I.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:52 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I planted 3 & 4 day crops on my farm last night. Stayed up for a very long time. When I did eventually sleep I slept ok. I'm not coughing as bad as Mark but there is some coughing and I feel congested, and there's some green sludge, and my throat is irritated. Hopefully it remains mild.

I spoke to Michael today. We talked about last night a bit. It was hard for me to trust him before I knew he betrayed me. It's nearly impossible now, though I'm trying. I'm not sure that I ever will. We'll see.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:46 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I read a bit. I showered. My cold is getting worse I think. It's hard to concentrate on stuff, and it's not fun. It's still not as bad as Mark's, and I hope it doesn't get that bad, cause he sounds like he's dying. It's becoming increasingly harder to ignore though.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:24 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

Poor Mark, sounds terrible. I can only imagine how he must be feeling. I'm a lot better off. There are stretches of time where I don't feel sick at all, and then I just randomly start coughing and hacking. Blah. Loving the new Lady GaGa; been singing "Bad Romance", "Monster", "So Happy I Could Die" & "Teeth" for days.

Michael's at work. We talked on the phone when he was on his way there. His life is so stressful right now. I hope he'll be ok. I'll probably talk to him later. He's coming by tomorrow night after work. New Year's Eve. Tomorrow is the last day of 2009.

Friday brings the entrance of the 11th Doctor. Not sure I'm ready for that. But I'd better be. Hope the episode is awesome. It's got an amazing guest cast list so it's likely that'll I'll enjoy it.

SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS

The guest cast of the 10th Doctor's final appearances include (but is not limited to):

Krystal Archer (Nerys)
John Barrowman (Captain Jack Harkness)
Nicholas Briggs (Judoon)
Lachele Carl (Trinity Wells)
Camille Coduri (Jackie Tyler)
Bernard Cribbins (Wilfred Mott)
Jessica Hynes (Verity Newman)*
Paul Kasey (Ood Sigma)
Jacqueline King (Sylvia Noble)
Tommy Knight (Luke Smith)
Alexandra Moen (Lucy Saxon)
Billie Piper (Rose Tyler)
John Simm (The Master)
Elisabeth Sladen (Sarah Jane Smith)
Matt Smith (11th Doctor)
Catherine Tate (Donna Noble)
David Tennant (10th Doctor)
Russell Tovey (Alonso Frame)

Nerys was last seen in "The Runaway Bride".

Captain Jack was last seen in "Children of Earth: Day Five". (Torchwood)

The Judoon were last seen in "Prisoner of the Judoon". (Sarah Jane Adventures)

Trinity Wells was last seen in "Children of Earth: Day Four". (Torchwood)

Jackie Tyler last appeared in "Journey's End".

Wilfred Mott last appeared in "Journey's End".

*Jessica Hynes previously played Nurse Joan Redfern in "Human Nature" / "The Family of Blood" - and this new character seems to be related to the events in those episodes.

Ood Sigma last appeared as a vision in the closing moments of "The Waters of Mars". The Ood had previously been seen in "Planet of the Ood".

Sylvia Noble last appeared in "Journey's End".

Luke Smith last appeared in "The Gift, Part II". (Sarah Jane Adventures) - though it's likely a story set between that episode and this one will be forthcoming.

Lucy Saxon last appeared in "Last of the Time Lords".

Rose Tyler last appeared in "Journey's End".

The Master last appeared in "Last of the Time Lords".

Sarah Jane Smith last appeared in "The Gift, Part II". (Sarah Jane Adventures) - though it's likely a story set between that episode and this one will be forthcoming.

This is the first appearance of the 11th Doctor.

Donna Noble last appeared in "Journey's End".

The 10th Doctor last appeared in "The Waters of Mars".

Alonso Frame last appeared in "Voyage of the Damned".

It's hard to say how much screen time the guest cast is allowed, though most of these are most likely cameos. It's also likely that 10, The Master, Wilf & Donna have far more screen time.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:01 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

   Thursday, December 31, 2009

It's cold in the condo today. Feel a bit out of it. One of Mark's little relatives is in the hospital; worried about her. Worried about Michael, who's having trouble at work, and at home - as David is apparently planning on breaking his lease and moving to Chicago - leaving Michael with the bills plus money he owes Micahel from before. So far, New Year's Eve sucks.

Hoping tomorrow is better.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:46 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

I cleaned my room. Doing some laundry. Cleaned up a bit in the kitchen. Disinfected some surfaces. Shaved and showered. Worked on Michael's farm. Added Janice as a friend on Facebook (she finally joined). I randomly watched 1 of my favorite Buffy scenes (the closing of "Beneath You" between Buffy & Spike in Season 7); I noticed something that I'd never noticed before...some of the powerful music used in that scene is later reorganized in the season ender; been listening to that on repeat for awhile now.

I got a really sweet text from Travis:

'Happy new year to the man I consider "the one who got away" :) I hope 2010 brings you many jaw-dropping joys, literally'

How sweet is that? I almost cried. Mark thought it was sweet too.

Michael called. He's having a very stressful day, and most likely won't be here until after 1am; possibly 2. I told him not to stress and that my New Year doesn't start until he arrives so he can just take his time and not worry about that bit. I hope he's able to chill out.

Despite my holding back the New Year for myself - everyone else begins 2010 in just 13 minutes. Crazy.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:47 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]